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2014 NHL Playoffs: A thread full of jerk 'yoffs

MacAttack

Member
Great OP, Marv!

tumblr_mz7qpg5FnO1t8w14lo1_400.gif
 
Marvie

http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=714402&navid=nhl:topheads&cmpid=nhl-fb

Schedule



Wednesday, April 16 10 p.m. Dallas at Anaheim NBCSN, TSN
Friday, April 18 10 p.m. Dallas at Anaheim NBCSN, TSN
Monday, April 21 9:30 p.m. Anaheim at Dallas NBCSN, TSN
Wednesday, April 23 8 p.m. Anaheim at Dallas CNBC, TSN
*Friday, April 25 10:30 p.m. Dallas at Anaheim NBCSN, TSN
*Sunday, April 27 TBD Anaheim at Dallas TSN
*Tuesday, April 29 TBD Dallas at Anaheim TSN


Saturday AND Sunday off? Weak
 

Solo

Member
Wednesday, April 16 7 p.m. Montreal at Tampa Bay CBC, RDS, CNBC
Friday, April 18 7 p.m. Montreal at Tampa Bay CBC, RDS, CNBC
Sunday, April 20 7 p.m. Tampa Bay at Montreal CBC, RDS, NBCSN
Tuesday, April 22 7 p.m. Tampa Bay at Montreal CBC, RDS, NHLN U.S.
*Thursday, April 24 7 p.m. Montreal at Tampa Bay CBC, RDS, CNBC
*Sunday, April 27 TBD Tampa Bay at Montreal CBC, RDS, NBCSN
Tuesday, April 29 TBD Montreal at Tampa Bay CBC, RDS

Let's get at er! First series to kick off!
 

Acid08

Banned
Thursday, April 17 10:30 p.m. Los Angeles at San Jose NBCSN, CBC

Sunday, April 20 10 p.m. Los Angeles at San Jose NBCSN, CBC

Tuesday, April 22 10 p.m. San Jose at Los Angeles NBCSN, CBC

Thursday, April 24 10:30 p.m. San Jose at Los Angeles NBCSN, CBC

*Saturday, April 26 TBD Los Angeles at San Jose NBCSN, CBC

*Monday, April 28 TBD San Jose at Los Angeles CBC *

Wednesday, April 30 TBD Los Angeles at San Jose CBC

Pretty lame that there's a two day break between games 1 and 2.
 
BandWagoner Speculawyer is here.

Come on Sharks . . . Just knock off those Kings and the rest of the path to the Cup will be easy.
 

Quick

Banned
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OKAY LET'S GO.

NOW, YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE MY COFFEE, EH, FOLKS. I LIKE A GOOD OL' MEDIUM DOUBLE-DOUBLE FROM TIMMY HORTON'S, EH. NONE OF THAT SISSY-LOOKIN' VENTI SKINNY, NON-FAT, NON-MILK, NON-COFFEE, NON-SKINNY LATTE THING FROM THAT OTHER COFFEE PLACE, EH. THAT JUST AIN'T CANADIAN.

ANYHOW, THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR IS COMIN', EH. AN' I AIN'T TALKIN' 'BOUT OUR LORD AN' SAVIOUR'S RESURRECTION, EH. I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT THE PLAYOFFS. NOTHIN' MAKES MY HEART MELT MORE THAN THE PLAYOFFS...AN' SOME CANADIAN BACON. LET'S BREAK IT DOWN, EH.

FIRST OFF, YOU GOT THE MINNYSODY WILD PLAYIN' AGAINST THE AVALANCHE. I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY FROM THE WILD, SO I'LL JUST TALK 'BOUT THE AVALANCHE, EH. YOU GOT HALIBURTON, ONTARIO'S MATTY DUCHENE, EH, ALONG WITH COLE HARBOUR, NOVA SCOTIA'S NATE MACKINNON, EH, AN' SOME FUNNY-LOOKIN' SWEDE - WHATSHISNAME - GABRIEL LANDINGCOCKS, EH. NOW, I JUST NAMED SOME OF THEIR TOP PLAYERS, EH. BUT LET ME TELL YOU, FOLKS, THIS TEAM AIN'T GOT ENOUGH GOOD ONTARIO KIDS PLAYIN' FOR 'EM. THAT BEIN' SAID, I THINK OAKVILLE ONTARIO'S JOHNNY MITCHELL IS GONNA HAVE A HELL OF A PLAYOFFS, EH. MARK MY WORDS, FOLKS, HE'S GONNA BE YOUR PLAYOFF MVP WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AN' DONE. THUMBS UP, OKAY, NEXT.

BLACKHAWKS AN' BLUES - WINNIPEG'S OWN JOHNATHAN TOEWS AN' ALEX STEEN GOIN' HEAD-TO-HEAD, EH. NOTHIN' LIKE A PLAYOFF SERIES INVOLVIN' MANITOBANS, EH. I'M LIKIN' THE BLUES' CHANCES, EH. THEY GOT A LOT MORE GOOD ONTARIO KIDS PLAYIN' FOR 'EM THAN THE BLACKHAWKS, WHO LIKE COLLECTIN' 'EM CZECHOSLOVAKIANS, EH. AN' THEN YOU GOT THAT LAZY PATTY KANE, EH. I DON'T LIKE 'EM BLACKHAWKS, AN' I HAVE A LOTTA BLACK FRIENDS.

STARS AN' DUCKS - THIS IS GONNA BE A BEAUTY. GETZLAF AN' PERRY AGAINST BENN AN' SEGUIN. I'M LIKIN' THE STARS' CHANCES ON THIS ONE, EH. LOOK AT ALL THE CANADIANS THEY GOT! AN' THEY GOT MORE GOOD ONTARIO KIDS THAN THE DUCKS, EH! MIGHT AS WELL WRITE THIS SERIES OFF AS A WIN FOR THE STARS, EH. OL' CHERRY GUARANTEE!

KINGS AN' SHARKS - THIS SERIES IS GONNA BE A BLACK MARK ON THE NHL, FOLKS, LEMME TELL YOU. AN' I HAVE A LOTTA BLACK FRIENDS, EH. YOU GOT YOUR GOOD AMOUNT OF CANADIANS ON BOTH ROSTERS, ALONG WITH OLYMPIANS, EH. BUT THEN YOU GOT THAT NO-GOOD, HOT-DOGGIN', VISOR-WEARIN', COMMUNIST MANIFESTO-READIN', AIN'T-FROM-ONTARIO-BEIN', FUNNY-LOOKIN', LAZY EURO TRASH TOMAS HERT-A-TURTLE-WHIRL. AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW, THIS EURO KID EMBARRASSED THE LEAGUE BY SCORIN' FOUR GOALS AGAINST THE RANGERS EARLY IN THE SEASON. THAT GOT ME REAL STEAMED, AN' I WAS CALLIN' ON THE SHARKS TO DEPORT HIM BACK TO RUSSIA, EH. HE WASN'T PLAYIN' MUCH AFTER HE GOT INJURED - 'CAUSE EUROS ARE REAL SISSIES ABOUT KNEE INJURIES, EH - AN' I THOUGHT WE'D SEEN THE LAST OF THIS GOOF. DON'T EXPECT THE SHARKS TO WIN THIS ONE, FOLKS. THEY'LL BE EMBARRASSIN' THEMSELVES AGAINST THE KINGS, WITH GOOD CANADIAN KIDS LIKE DREW DOUGHTY, JEFF CARTER, MIKE RICHARDS, AN' A BUNCH OF OTHER GOOD ONTARIO KIDS.

RED WINGS AN' BRUINS - I'M NOT LIKIN' THE CHANCES FOR THE WINGS, EH. NOT ENOUGH CANADIANS IN THEIR ROSTER COMPARED TO THE BIG BAD BRUINS, EH. TOO MANY EUROS, ESPECIALLY THAT COMMIE DATSOOK, EH. ZETTERBERG'S PROBABLY STILL REAL EMBARRASSED 'BOUT LOSIN' THE GOLD AGAINST CANADA, EH. DON'T EXPECT HIM TO SHOW UP AT ALL. AIN'T EVEN BECAUSE HE'S INJURED - HE'S PROBABLY HURT HIMSELF FORM BEIN' EMBARRASSED, EH. NOW, THE BRUINS, YOU FOLKS KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE 'EM, THEY GOT A REAL CANADIAN ROSTER, EH. ALONG WITH THE SPIRIT OF BOBBY ORR, LOOK FOR 'EM TO TAKE IT ALL THIS YEAR, EH.

LIGHTNIN' AN' CANADIENS - NOW, FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I HAVE A LOT OF BLACK FRIENDS, SO I THINK I CAN SAY THIS WITHOUT BEIN' CALLED A RACIST: PK SUBBAN'S GOTTA PLAY THE RIGHT WAY IN ORDER TO BE EFFECTIVE, EH. HE CAN'T BE ACTIN' LIKE A THUG OR SOMETHIN' OUT THERE, EH. GOTTA BE A REAL CANADIAN, PLAYIN' THE RIGHT WAY. HOWEVER - AN' THIS IS A BIG ONE - THE CANADIENS HAVE THAT COMMIE ALEX GOLLYCHENNIK PLAYIN' FOR 'EM. HE'S SHOWIN' AMERICAN CREDENTIALS, BUT DON'T BE FOOLED, FOLKS. HE'S A COMMIE SPYIN' FOR STALIN BACK IN MOTHER RUSSIA. THE LIGHTNIN'S GOT MARKHAM, ONTARIO'S STEVEN STAMKOS PLAYIN' FOR 'EM, SO YOU KNOW THIS SERIES GONNA BE FOR THE LIGHTNIN' TO TAKE, EH.

BLUE JACKETS AN' PENGUINS - SID THE KID VS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO'S IN COLUMBUS, EH. GIVE IT TO THE PENS, ALREADY. YOU GOT SID AN' CHRIS KUNITZ - REAL CANADIAN HEROES, EH - TAKIN' ON A TEAM OF NOBODIES. I AIN'T EVEN GONNA ANALYZE ANYTHIN' FURTHER HERE, FOLKS. JUST CALL THIS A PENS WIN, EH. OL' CHERRY GUARANTEE!

FLYERS AN' RANGERS - BOY, THIS IS A TOUGH ONE, FOLKS. BOTH SIDES GOT A GOOD AMOUNT OF GOOD ONTARIO KIDS, EH. RANGERS GOT BRAD RICHARDS AN' MARTY ST. LOUIS HOPIN' TO REPEAT 2004, EH, WHILE THE FLYERS GOT VINNY LECAVALIER AN' CLAUDE GIROUX. REAL CANADIANS. THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST EVEN SERIES WE'LL WITNESS, EH. JUST GOTTA REMEMBER TO TELL SIMMONDS TO PLAY THE RIGHT WAY.

NOW, LET ME TELL YOU FOLKS A STORY: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM, WASHIN' MY HANDS, WHEN I SAW THAT NO-GOOD, VISOR-WEARIN', HOT-DOGGIN', COMMUNIST TOMAS HERT-A-WHIRL IN THE BATHROOM, EH. HE LEFT HIS STALL DOOR OPEN 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO TELLS 'EM TO DO - DISGUSTIN'. ANYHOW, HE'S IN THERE, AN' WHAT DOES HE DO? HE DROPS FOUR DUMPS IN THE TOILET! FOUR! BOY, I WAS STEAMED, LEMME TELL YOU FOLKS. HE JUST SAT THERE AN' SQUEEZED ONE AFTER THE OTHER. SUDDENLY, SID CAME IN THE BATHROOM, RAN INSIDE A STALL, LEFT HIS DOOR OPEN LIKE A REAL CANADIAN, AN' LET ONE OUT. JUST ONE. WE AIN'T DUMP HOGS, EH. HE SAT THERE, WIPED HIMSELF, WASHED HIS HANDS, AN' CARRIED THE CANADIAN FLAG OUT THE DOOR. BOY, I WAS SO PROUD. HERT-A-TURTLE RAN OUT WITHOUT WIPIN' OR WASHIN' HIS HANDS, AN' THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, DUSTIN BROWN KNEED HIM. SHOULDA WIPED AN' WASHED YOUR HANDS, EH. SID REMINDED ME OF BOBBY ORR - BOBBY WOULDN'T DROP FOUR DUMPS LIKE THAT, HE'D DROP FOUR IN A CANADIAN WAY. GOD LOVE 'EM.
 

JABEE

Member
Avs over Wild in 6
Hawks over Blues in 6
Ducks over Stars in 6
Sharks over Kings in 7

Bruins over Wings in 5
Lightning over Habs in 6
Penguins over Jackets in 5
Flyers over Rangers in 6


I don't know why so many people are down on this Flyers team. I know we have had our issues against the Rangers, but somehow the season series is tied 2-2.

Couturier is starting to pick up his offense again. Simmonds is a beast with 29 goals and 60 points on the season. Then you have G! If McDonagh is rusty coming off his injury, Giroux, Harts, and Voracek will have a great opportunity to be difference-makers this series.

Let's go boys! This Flyers team is ready. We're ready to go!

It's PLAYOFF TIME!
 

ATF487

Member
I hope that the Boston Bruins win a majority of their games against the Detroit Red Wings, so that they can advance to the next round of the playoffs.
 

Red_Man

I Was There! Official L Receiver 2/12/2016
Brodeur said:
Having 2 goalies No. 1 just doesn't work. IT didn't work in Vancouver. It didn't work here too good. We didn't make the playoffs
Someone should tell Brodeur he's not a #1 anymore and to quit being a whiny bitch. He's making himself look like a child when he should have just retired last year.

I hope that the Boston Bruins win a majority of their games against the Detroit Red Wings, so that they can advance to the next round of the playoffs.
Boring Sean Monahan tweet right here.
 

Solo

Member
Picks:

Bruins
Habs
Pens
Flyers

(which by the way would set up two AMAZING conference semi-final series)

Anaheim
Los Angeles
Chicago
Colorado
 

Acid08

Banned
KINGS AN' SHARKS - THIS SERIES IS GONNA BE A BLACK MARK ON THE NHL, FOLKS, LEMME TELL YOU. AN' I HAVE A LOTTA BLACK FRIENDS, EH. YOU GOT YOUR GOOD AMOUNT OF CANADIANS ON BOTH ROSTERS, ALONG WITH OLYMPIANS, EH. BUT THEN YOU GOT THAT NO-GOOD, HOT-DOGGIN', VISOR-WEARIN', COMMUNIST MANIFESTO-READIN', AIN'T-FROM-ONTARIO-BEIN', FUNNY-LOOKIN', LAZY EURO TRASH TOMAS HERT-A-TURTLE-WHIRL. AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW, THIS EURO KID EMBARRASSED THE LEAGUE BY SCORIN' FOUR GOALS AGAINST THE RANGERS EARLY IN THE SEASON. THAT GOT ME REAL STEAMED, AN' I WAS CALLIN' ON THE SHARKS TO DEPORT HIM BACK TO RUSSIA, EH. HE WASN'T PLAYIN' MUCH AFTER HE GOT INJURED - 'CAUSE EUROS ARE REAL SISSIES ABOUT KNEE INJURIES, EH - AN' I THOUGHT WE'D SEEN THE LAST OF THIS GOOF. DON'T EXPECT THE SHARKS TO WIN THIS ONE, FOLKS. THEY'LL BE EMBARRASSIN' THEMSELVES AGAINST THE KINGS, WITH GOOD CANADIAN KIDS LIKE DREW DOUGHTY, JEFF CARTER, MIKE RICHARDS, AN' A BUNCH OF OTHER GOOD ONTARIO KIDS.

LOL
 

Red_Man

I Was There! Official L Receiver 2/12/2016
Please don't respond to him
Please don't respond to him
Please don't respond to him
Please don't respond to him

Edit: God damn you 19&21
 
Man what a fucking OP. I love The Warriors. Sick dangle, Marvie.

Quick back into fine form as well :lol - Petzlaf and Gerry are good ol' Canadian boys. You just know Good Guy Perry (he's a really good guy) plays the right way. Gets in the crease there and plays with a gritty edge like a Bruin does. God love 'em.
 
James Duthie ‏@tsnjamesduthie 2m

NHL on TSN guest panelist for a few games during RD 1... @strombone1



TSN gonna go out with a bang
 

Solo

Member
Say gang, anyone seen any good movies lately?

I've been REALLY slack about my movie watching in the past 6 months or so. Just finally got around to watching The Wolf of Wall Street and Dallas Buyers Club.

I thought DBC was a pretty weak film carried completely by the two lead performances. Wall Street on the other hand I absolutely loved and think it might be my favorite Scorsese/Leo collab yet.
 

RC

Banned
James Duthie ‏@tsnjamesduthie 2m

NHL on TSN guest panelist for a few games during RD 1... @strombone1



TSN gonna go out with a bang

My interest in the post season suddenly went up.

Go................um......St Louis, they've never won the cup before, right? Yeah.
 
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