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[Men_in_Boxes]

The greatest joy to experience when it comes to microwave popcorn is not eating the popcorn, it's doing the following. But first, a moment from our sponsor... Ethically speaking you should watch all 31 seconds with volume slightly louder than you prefer.



OK, here's the best part. You buy a 12 pack of whatever brand and flavor. You put the first bag in at whatever time the box tells you, then you take the bag out at exactly the correct time. You must use your ears and brain because the box will not know the power of your microwave. Then you do the math and write whatever the perfect time is on the inside of the box flaps.

So if you put the bag in for 3:00 minutes, and take the bag out at the perfect time with 22 seconds left, then you write 2:38 on cardboard flap of the box.

What have you just done: You've informed the next 11 people who microwave your box popcorn the ability to feel totally free when they put their bag in the microwave. They know 2:38 is the perfect time so they can experience life fully in the moment rather than feel terrorized by not knowing when to pull the bag out.

How do you feel: You feel great knowing you're a morally superior person.

Note: The older your popcorn is, the wider variance in time needed there is from bag to bag. This CAN backfire on you so only commit if the box is not near expiration date. Sale popcorn is not to be trusted.

 

[eddie4]

my microwave does popcorn by weight so i just punch that in and boom, perfect popcorn, no need to stand and guard it.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

my microwave does popcorn by weight so i just punch that in and boom, perfect popcorn, no need to stand and guard it.

WTF did I just read?

 

[Days like these...]

I just let it burn so we can all suffer

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

I just let it burn so we can all suffer

Strive for greater. There is good in you. I sense it.

 

[eddie4]

WTF did I just read?

Mhm, microwave popcorn is usually around 3-4oz, so i push the popcorn button and enter 3 or 3.2 or 3.6 whatever it is, and it sets to time to around 2:15-2:38 and pops my popcorn, even though the package says 3 minutes.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

Mhm, microwave popcorn is usually around 3-4oz, so i push the popcorn button and enter 3 or 3.2 or 3.6 whatever it is, and it sets to time to around 2:15-2:38 and pops my popcorn, even though the package says 3 minutes.

 

[Jayjayhd34]

I hate popcorn

 

[HRK69]

Fuck popcorn

 

[bender]

What color is the helmet your mom forces you to wear around the house?

 

[ReBurn]

I just stop by the theater and grab a bucket of the good stuff.

 

[TronNerd82]

And I thought MY autism was bad...

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

What color is the helmet your mom forces you to wear around the house?

I give you a gift and you treat me like this in return?

It's baby blue btw.

 

[AJUMP23]

I hate how it smells.

 

[PSYGN]

Real men eat kernels straight out of the bag. None of this fluffy shit.

 

[Kilau]

My microwave has a microphone to listen for the kernels to stop popping, no measuring the weight or standing there trying to time it, it just hears it and times the space between pops. It's a mic-microwave, you can also talk to it.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

My microwave has a microphone to listen for the kernels to stop popping, no measuring the weight or standing there trying to time it, it just hears it and times the space between pops. It's a mic-microwave, you can also talk to it.

Why has NeoGAF become a haven for witches? You all need to burned at the stake with your magic machines.

 

[Kilau]

Why has NeoGAF become a haven for witches? You all need to burned at the stake with your magic machines.

Be sure to time the first burning and write it down so you don’t waste wood on the next one.

 

[Puscifer]

Microwaves with popcorn buttons actually have microphones in them to do this for you. No joke.

 

[Shtef]

I don't have microwave so i make my popcorns on a stove, they come out perfect every time.

 

[El Muerto]

I press 4 min on the microwave to get it started. Then once i hear 5 seconds in between pops i pull it out.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

I press 4 min on the microwave to get it started. Then once i hear 5 seconds in between pops i pull it out.

Take my teachings and flourish. Be a slave to the pops no more. Spread goodness to all in your house who open the popcorn box.

 

[Mamofish]

I went to the stove and I won't go back, tastes so much better and you can do your own toppings!

Avocado oil for natural, Ghee for butter popcorn. Nutritional Yeast is a favorite for cheesy flavor, just keep those napkins handy for dusty hands.

 

[Makoto-Yuki]

My microwave doesn’t fit popcorn I have to buy packs of it ready made

 

[reinking]

Genius. My granddaughter has had microwave popcorn timing down since she was 7.

 

[N0S]

 

[Soodanim]

Nutritional Yeast is a favorite for cheesy flavor, just keep those napkins handy for dusty hands.

I beg your pardon... Cheesy flavoured popcorn? The whole time the argument has been salty vs sweet and you just casually waltz in with that abomination?

You disgust me.

 

[notseqi]

I just stop by the theater and grab a bucket of the good stuff.

that is next level

 

[Trunx81]

I still have popcorn between my teeth from the Episode 1 screening in 1999. I’m good.

 

[sono]

uh uh

 

[GymWolf]

Bullshit thing about microoven popcorn is that if you keep em inside for too long they get roasted and taste like shit, but if you take em out too soon, a lot of them are not gonna be ready yet.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

Genius. My granddaughter has had microwave popcorn timing down since she was 7.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

Bullshit thing about microoven popcorn is that if you keep em inside for too long they get roasted and taste like shit, but if you take em out too soon, a lot of them are not gonna be ready yet.

Truer word were never spoken.

 

[Insane Metal]

Microwave popcorn = cancer

 

[mitch1971]

Popcorn was fine....when I was age 5.

 

[Trilobit]

Microwave? What kind of futuristic crap is this?! You do it over fire or you don't do it at all.

 

[reinking]

You went from genius to idiot really fast. LOL.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

You went from genius to idiot really fast. LOL.

Tell your 7 year old granddaughter I'll fight her anywhere anytime. Her grandfather has started a blood fued.

 

[reinking]

Tell your 7 year old granddaughter I'll fight her anywhere anytime. Her grandfather has started a blood feud.

She is now twice that age. For your safety, I will not pass on your challenge.

 

[poppabk]

 

[Dice]

I hit the popcorn button twice which sets it for a 3oz bag and it does so perfectly every time.

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

I hit the popcorn button twice which sets it for a 3oz bag and it does so perfectly every time.

This is BS because every brand and flavor of popcorn requires a different amount of time in the microwave.

NeoGAF has been infiltrated by witches and Feds.

 

[thefool]

Popcorn button?

What kind of monstrosity is this

 

[notseqi]

Popcorn button?

What kind of monstrosity is this

i'm more worried about what happens if you press the popcorn button to heat something else

 

[Dice]

NeoGAF has been infiltrated by witches and Feds.

No, the microwave has. That’s how it works.

 

[GateofD]

Take the popcorn bag, rip it open and dump it in a pot on the stove, cover and turn to medium-high heat. Manually shake the pot and stop when you know it’s popped.

 

[12Goblins]

So the best part of eating popcorn is writing the cooking time on the side of the box for the next 11 people (? who are these people?), preceded by a jamie foxx gambling ad. Nobody else confused by this?

 

[mopspear]

Why did I watch the whole ad?

My wife always wants popcorn but my new microwave is too powerful. Power 8 at 1:55 seems to be correct for the AMC buttered popcorn. Also guys, you can put the unpopped kernels back in the microwave. If you put them in a bowl with a plate over it, it takes care of it.

 

[Soodanim]

My preferred method is to see a new thread while phone GAFfing, read the OP, be slightly bewildered for a moment, scroll back up to see who posted the thread, then say "Ah. I see.".

 

[Miyazaki’s Slave]

What color is the helmet your mom forces you to wear around the house?

The pure, clean, brilliant, color of ivory to match the sweater of this Titan of course…