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A prayer for the stupid

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hariseldon

Unconfirmed Member
Dear God,

Please give me the strength to not strangle anyone over the internet for being a complete fuckwomble with no discernible sign of sentience. Give me the strength not to batter their empty heads against a brick wall studded with metal electrified spikes. Give me the wisdom to know that smashing their heads with a baseball bat until they fully cave in would just make a dreadful mess of my clothes, and the self-control not to just do it anyway. Finally, give me the patience not to use the C-word in conversation with people whose stupidity is more infinite than the universe.

Amen.
 
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hariseldon

Unconfirmed Member
Join me in prayer - I want to hear your prayers. Let them out into the world so that we may all, my brothers, find the strength not to go on a killing rampage.
 
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hariseldon

Unconfirmed Member
Who is this cunt then?

Today there are cunts everywhere. Stupid people who can't google, expecting me to think on their behalf. Stupid people who don't read the documentation I pored over for hours. Stupid people who can barely manage to breathe and shit at the same time because their brains are so feeble, and can barely type a coherent sentence because their laziness dictates that their time typing is more important than my time decyphering (despite my time being vastly more expensive than theirs). Idiots as far as the eye can see.
 
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hariseldon

Unconfirmed Member
Someone needs a break from the Internet.

Nah I need a break from my job - the problem with being a programmer with a furloughed team and no support people left is that I have to deal with utter fuckmuppetry of the highest order. That said, it does reduce my stock of patience for dealing with the TDS morons too.
 
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Today there are cunts everywhere. Stupid people who can't google, expecting me to think on their behalf. Stupid people who don't read the documentation I pored over for hours. Stupid people who can barely manage to breathe and shit at the same time because their brains are so feeble, and can barely type a coherent sentence because their laziness dictates that their time typing is more important than my time decyphering (despite my time being vastly more expensive than theirs). Idiots as far as the eye can see.


Name some names. Burn it all down. Let’s make this an epic thread.
 

nush

Member
Today there are cunts everywhere. Stupid people who can't google, expecting me to think on their behalf. Stupid people who don't read the documentation I pored over for hours.

Ah, yes the "Just give me the answer" people, "just send me the info that I'll not keep anywhere I can find it again" and ask you to resend multiple times so you end up storing so many docs you don't need. Then after a year or so you have a cleanup and get rid of the useless for you files only for one of the cockwombles to come back a week later after the cleanup asking for it.
 
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hariseldon

Unconfirmed Member
Ah, yes the "Just give me the answer" people, "just send me the info that I'll not keep anywhere I can find it again" and ask you to resend multiple times so you end up storing so many docs you don't need. Then after a year or so you have a cleanup and get rid of the useless for you files only for one of the cockwombles to come back a week later after the cleanup asking for it.
That’s the ones. The cunts who think I’m their personal fucking google.
 

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
Dog-Praying-at-a-Table.gif
 

Rat Rage

Member
Dear God,

Please give me the strength to not strangle anyone over the internet for being a complete fuckwomble with no discernible sign of sentience. Give me the strength not to batter their empty heads against a brick wall studded with metal electrified spikes. Give me the wisdom to know that smashing their heads with a baseball bat until they fully cave in would just make a dreadful mess of my clothes, and the self-control not to just do it anyway. Finally, give me the patience not to use the C-word in conversation with people whose stupidity is more infinite than the universe.

Amen.

J3bf.gif
 

Nymphae

Banned
I think there is a certain way suicide could be stylish, but I'm not sure a truly suicidal person would put forth the effort.

This is one of my favourite Doug Stanhope bits, because I have felt this rage many times for the servers denying me my breakfast sandwiches for no good reason at all. Context is he's talking about trying to convince his mother to be a suicide bomber so she can take out something we all hate.

 

DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
Aren't all prayers for the stupid, because the premise of an invisible being that controls everything is the dumbest notion ever conceived by mankind?
 

Nymphae

Banned
Then after a year or so you have a cleanup and get rid of the useless for you files only for one of the cockwombles to come back a week later after the cleanup asking for it.

I use the web app Pocket to save anything I'm interested in for grabbing later. It works with pretty much any file type and webpage, I have a Chrome extension for Vimium and you just have to right click, save to Pocket. A little overlay pops up briefly that lets you add tags, then disappears. I have years of stuff saved in there that I will never look at again, but it's a great tool for keeping an archive of random shit on the cloud.
 
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