Al Bundy vs. Archy Bunker vs. George Jefferson vs. Fred Sanford

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snapty00

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Who's cooler?

I always liked Archie, because he forgets the dumbest words and will lay on the dumbest racial slurs. He'll say something like this, for example:

"That's one of those uhh -- what do-a-call? -- chairs that the coloreds used!"

He's just so stupid, it's funny.

I like all four of them, though. :D

EDIT: "Archie"
 
Al wins just for this quote.

You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun in my mouth years ago - that little fact makes me a winner, baby.
 
I like Archie's facial expressions when he's pissed off. He's sometimes got this "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, STFU AND STOP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME" look on his face.
 
+1 Al Bundy

Best Episode ever >>
bilder4.jpg



btw, google image-searching "al bundy" sure brings up some interesting results..
 
Al Bundy + Fred Sanford =tie end of story.

Between Al's fat women jokes and Fred's hilarious excuses and uglyjokes, they are an unstopable duo of sitcom comedy.
 
Married with Children Christmas episodes = awesomeness.

Oh man I miss that show. Seinfeld and Married with Children have to be like my favorite two comedies of all time. Well you gotta throw Simpsons in there too.
 
A tie between Al and Archie. Both shows went far downhill their last few seasons, though. During their prime, they were some of the best shows on television. And even during those weak seasons, they still pulled out brilliance sometimes.
 
englisch.jpg


"You know what I would do if I was President? I'd take a big empty state, that nobody's using, y'know, like Idaho, and I'd pack every pregnant woman in the country into donut trucks, and convoy 'em all to Boise. And since Idaho means nothing anyhow, I'd change the name to Preg-naho."
 
Guzim said:
Al wins just for this quote.

You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun in my mouth years ago - that little fact makes me a winner, baby.
Click to expand...


Beautiful.
 
Guzim said:
Al wins just for this quote.

You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun in my mouth years ago - that little fact makes me a winner, baby.
Click to expand...

Preach it Al!!!

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DCX
 
Al takes it in this one... Fred comes in a close second.... and George and Archie almost tie... but George just bumps him because he moved to a deluxe apartment in the sky.... he finally got a piece of the pie
 
Guzim said:
Al wins just for this quote.

You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun in my mouth years ago - that little fact makes me a winner, baby.
Click to expand...

517a.jpg
 
Al : [the Bundy Creedo] Hooters, hooters, yum yum yum. Hooters hooters on a girl that's dumb.

Jefferson : What year did the Cubs last win the World Series?
Al : 1908.
Peggy : And yet you can't remember the year we were married?
Al : Same year, 1908. Only difference is, baseball is still interesting.
Peggy : Maybe that's because they score more than once a season.


Yeah, Mr Boondy rocks.
 
Marcy : But unlike Evolution, I'm not letting you off the hook Al. Now can you tell me what a woman's body has to do with selling beer?
Al : All right, number one - if it wasn't for beer, there would be at least three people, who probably wouldn't be married - Me, Jefferson, and probably Lisa Marie Presley. Number two - since men buy beer, advertisers have to cater to what we want. And hold on to your corncob pipe - we like pretty women. Pretty women sell beer, ugly women sell tennis rackets. Pretty women - cars; ugly women - minivans. Pretty women make us buy beer, and ugly women make us *drink beer*.

Al : A fat woman came into the shoe store today and asked for something to wear for a walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggested a sandwich sign saying "don't shoot, from the front I look human." Now you think a good natured, jolly lady like that could take some good humored teasing, but what does she do? That cow goes and complains to the owner who then gives her a gift certificate for $200 worth of free shoes. Now you know whose paycheck that's going to come out of?
Peggy : Kelly's?
Al : Damn right, if only if I can find where she hides her purse.

Fat Woman: I want my money back. These shoes are as useless to me as a comb is to you. I wore these high heels just once, last night, and they split at the sides, and the heels broke too.
Al : Let me explain this. These shoes are very delicate. They're just like an elevator. There's a two-ton weight limit on them. What say I just nail the soles to your feet. It'll give you better traction the next time you're pulling an ice wagon or something.
Fat Woman: You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
Al : Oh, is that from the law offices of Haagan and Daz?

Al : A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today and said, "I need something I'd be comfortable in." So, I said, "try Wyoming."

Al : [watching "The Jeffersons"] Oh my God. It's Wheezy in a bikini.

Al : [singing] Old Mc Bundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y. And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y. With-a no wife here and a-no kids there. A hooker coming over on Friday nights. With big lucious hooters, a pizza, and a beer there. Old Mc Bundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y.

[Al is squeezing shoes on Enid, a fat customer]
Enid: See? I told you I was a size four.
Al : No, ma'am. "Fore." is what you should yell when the shoe comes off your foot. Are we done here?
Enid: I'm not sure I like this shade of blue.
Al : Well, how's this? What say you stand with these shoes in front of the mirror over there and I'll come up behind you and begin strangling you. When you reach the shade of blue that is satisfactory to you, you yell "moo" and I'll stop.
Enid: That's it. I'm taking my business elsewhere.
Al : May I suggest Jenny Craig?

TV Announcer: Coming up next is the television special, "I Drink Because My Father is A Shoe Salesman".
Al : [skyward] Good one.
 
Who's that riding into the sun.
Who's the man with the itchy gun.
Who's the man who kills for fun !

Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad !

He's quick with a gun, but he loves his son.
Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton... Psycho Dad !
 
Guzim said:
You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun in my mouth years ago - that little fact makes me a winner, baby.
Click to expand...
So beautiful, baby! Just too good...!! *cries*

AL BUNDY, baby!
al%20bundy.jpg

acowboy.jpg

al065b.jpg

al061b.jpg


He IS the best ever......
 
Fred Sanford

He is one of the greatest comedians ever def in the top 10.

Vera: Bennie you got some orange juice?
Bennie: its in the fridge.
Vera: Bennie you aint go no damn orange juice its just a swallow in the container.
Bennie: well swallow it and shut up.
 
Bunker!

'little gurl'
'meathead'
'dingbat'

Archie was nasty and miserable, but his heart was in the right place.

Alf Garnett was even better (ie worse), thats the original, english, version of the show. not ALF the puppet, whom is bad too, but another completely different way
 
It's tough to choose between Fred and Al, but since Al's getting all the love in here, I've gotta go with Fred Sanford. His battles with Aunt Esther were great.

"You make me wish that birth control was retroactive"

"I'm calling you ugly! I could put your face in some dough and make me some gorilla cookies"
 
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