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[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

I wanted to share this with my fellow GAFfers before I do the deed. The benefits are insane, but there's one caveat reaching the almost 90-day mark: I'm extremely horny!

I'm more:
energized
goal-oriented
go to the gym once a day
eating healthy

But the pain of wanting to have sex is killing me. I can't think straight, lol! So, instead of releasing it with my hand, I'll be hiring an escort tomorrow.

AMA.

 

[TaylorSwiftFan]

Aren’t you worried about STDs?

 

[Tranquil]

You went this whole time without a wet dream?

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Aren’t you worried about STDs?

Of course I am, but she's 'clean', so I'll have to take her word for it.

 

[Calcium]

Does the escort charge by the second? Might be worth asking in your position.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

You went this whole time without a wet dream?

Yup! Actually, before the 3 month period started, I was already on a 2-month streak. I wet-dreamed, and then started the counter again.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Does the escort charge by the second? Might be worth asking in your position.

Hourly. She is the whole package, let me tell you.

 

[LDS]

Is this an incel thing or what

 

[Werewolf Jones]

I lasted a week and it came out like a shotgun. How do I ascend?

 

[Calcium]

Hourly. She is the whole package, let me tell you.

That's a weird way to describe a hooker. I am now creeped out by this thread.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Is this an incel thing or what

Incel implies I don't have the looks to get a woman. I do, but I voluntarily stay single.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

I lasted a week and it came out like a shotgun. How do I ascend?

SImple: don't touch your dick.

 

[nush]

 

[Tranquil]

Yup! Actually, before the 3 month period started, I was already on a 2-month streak. I wet-dreamed, and then started the counter again.

I could never imagine doing this.

 

[poodaddy]

Incel implies I don't have the looks to get a woman. I do, but I voluntarily stay single.

So you choose to stay single.....and waste money on whores?







Uh huh.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

So you choose to stay single.....and waste money on whores?







Uh huh.

I don't need to explain myself to you.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

I could never imagine doing this.

The days leading up to the 90-day mark was easy. It's just that, for whatever reason, I started getting really antsy.

 

[poodaddy]

I don't need to explain myself to you.

You're right, you already showed that explanation isn't your strong point when you implied that masturbation somehow was causing you to eat like an idiot. You're eating healthy and going to the gym once a day because you aren't masturbating?

Huh?

What the fuck bro, were you jerking off every 43 seconds compulsively? Sounds like you need a psychiatrist and a bottle of scotch more than you need a whore.

 

[TaylorSwiftFan]

Of course I am, but she's 'clean', so I'll have to take her word for it.

Dangerous game to play.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

You're right, you already showed that explanation isn't your strong point when you implied that masturbation somehow was causing you to eat like an idiot. You're eating healthy and going to the gym once a day because you aren't masturbating?

Huh?

What the fuck bro, were you jerking off every 43 seconds compulsively? Sounds like you need a psychiatrist and a bottle of scotch more than you need a whore.

I like how you described my life before NoFap to a T! Very fair of you.

I'm not gonna stoop to your level.

 

[Outlier]

You know, penetrating your penis into the body someone else to orgasm is just another form of fapping. You're just not using your hand(s) to do it.

Unless your objective of no fap is simply not doing the job yourself.

 

[poodaddy]

I like how you described my life before NoFap to a T! Very fair of you.

I'm not gonna stoop to your level.

Yeah man, you told me. I'm just a degenerate bro, a faithful married man of ten years and a dad. I wish I was as pure as you, abstaining from masturbating to attain purity so I can blow my wad, (HA) on whores.

Can you teach me your ways sensei?

 

[NeoGiffer]

Hourly. She is the whole package, let me tell you.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Unless your objective of no fap is simply not doing the job yourself.

That's exactly it.

 

[Tranquil]

The days leading up to the 90-day mark was easy. It's just that, for whatever reason, I started getting really antsy.

I was in the hospital for surgery a few months ago then recovered at my parents house for a week. They offered to let me stay another week but I couldn't handle it anymore, needed to take care of business, that was only a week and a half. You have an iron will my good brother.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Yeah man, you told me. I'm just a degenerate bro, a faithful married man of ten years and a dad. I wish I was as pure as you, abstaining from masturbating to attain purity so I can blow my wad, (HA) on whores.

Can you teach me your ways sensei?

You done? I don't understand why you're being so hostile.

 

[nush]

So you choose to stay single.....and waste money on whores?







Uh huh.

There cheaper in the long run and more convenient. Actually the vast majority of clients for sex workers are 30+ with disposable income that can't or are unable to be bothered with the "dating" scene.

 

[poodaddy]

You done? I don't understand why you're being so hostile.

I stated my opinion on the ridiculousness of your statement, I didn't intend to come off hostile, but then you got hostile with me in your response, which caused me to just get hostile in return. I honestly apologize for that, my initial intent was just to fuck with you bro, just playful jabs ya know? At the end of the day, we're all different man, and you gotta live the way you wanna live. If abstaining from masturbation is somehow helping you to attain something, rock on bro. Just having a go at ya, it was in good fun.

 

[poodaddy]

There cheaper in the long run and more convenient. Actually the vast majority of clients for sex workers are 30+ with disposable income that can't or are unable to be bothered with the "dating" scene.

Fair enough, that makes sense. Like I told him, I was honestly just having a go at him I was just trying to play and it got out of hand, my mistake and my apologies, I didn't mean to offend .

 

[jufonuk]

You done? I don't understand why you're being so hostile.

I don’t think he is. You just too horned up and getting angry. Or something. My question to ask to you is - why? Why no fap ?

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

I was in the hospital for surgery a few months ago then recovered at my parents house for a week. They offered to let me stay another week but I couldn't handle it anymore, needed to take care of business, that was only a week and a half. You have an iron will my good brother.

Thank you. See, my goal in life is the strive to become a better version of myself. Now, obviously, that's subjective, considering I'm hiring an escort to do the job for me, but if I wasn't feeling extremely horny, I wouldn't do it.
Masturbating is out of the question for me. Maybe it is time to look for a girl once this is done. Who knows.

 

[Melon]

how bad your balls hurt bro

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

I stated my opinion on the ridiculousness of your statement, I didn't intend to come off hostile, but then you got hostile with me in your response, which caused me to just get hostile in return. I honestly apologize for that, my initial intent was just to fuck with you bro, just playful jabs ya know? At the end of the day, we're all different man, and you gotta live the way you wanna live. If abstaining from masturbation is somehow helping you to attain something, rock on bro. Just having a go at ya, it was in good fun.

Hmm, maybe you and I can have a good conversation once I'm done with all this. I'm obviously not feeling myself right now as I'm feeling really agitated, so I apologize for taking what you said personally.
NeoGAF is not a place where I want to have angry arguments with strangers. It's a haven for me, and I'll try to do that.

I don’t think he is. You just too horned up and getting angry. Or something. My question to ask to you is - why? Why no fap ?

HAHAHA YOU'RE RIGHT. I'm actually really flustered right now, and I'm just not having it right now.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

how bad your balls hurt bro

It doesn't. My seminal vesicles, however, are probably swollen right now. I don't know.

 

[poodaddy]

Hmm, maybe you and I can have a good conversation once I'm done with all this. I'm obviously not feeling myself right now as I'm feeling really agitated, so I apologize for taking what you said personally.
NeoGAF is not a place where I want to have angry arguments with strangers. It's a haven for me, and I'll try to do that.


HAHAHA YOU'RE RIGHT. I'm actually really flustered right now, and I'm just not having it right now.

Nah it wasn't you bro I had no right to make fun of you. I'm sorry, I should have reviewed how that read before I posted it. I honestly thought we'd have a laugh about it, but I was kind of being a prick. For what it's worth, I'm kinda agitated too. My tenant is outside my building talking in her car, and the phone is hooked up through the speakers, (why the fuck do people do this?), and I can hear every goddamn word through my window and it's driving me nuts, but I don't wanna say anything to her because she's a great tenant lol. Also, my daughter just won't goddamn put the game down for a second to do her homework that's due tomorrow.......

.......Ya know what brother, you got the right idea. Hold off on creating families for as long as possible lol.

Spoiler

JK I love my daughter to hell and back lol

 

[Melon]

It doesn't. My seminal vesicles, however, are probably swollen right now. I don't know.

im mostly kidding. i don't have a dick or balls so i don't really know what being that pent up entails for men. Though I know it's always way more intense for y'all.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

How hot is the escort?

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Why no fap ?

Before NoFap, I had motivation to do things, but not to the extent that I have right now. I think it has something to do with the brain and being satisfied once you're done masturbating.
But anyways, these 3-5 months have been nothing but a positive net gain for me as it's given me more focus to do other things in life I wouldn't have done pre-NoFap. Been really interested in my personal finance, healthy eating, exercising, etc. I suggest you guys watch this video:

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

im mostly kidding. i don't have a dick or balls so i don't really know what being that pent up entails for men. Though I know it's always way more intense for y'all.

Oh. I thought you did. xD
Yeah, it gets pretty intense keeping it pent up inside me. Some guys make it to a year! That's something I want to achieve, but apparently, my body's not having it right now.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

How hot is the escort?

I'll tell you guys tomorrow, but based on the pictures, a 10/10 easily!

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Nah it wasn't you bro I had no right to make fun of you. I'm sorry, I should have reviewed how that read before I posted it. I honestly thought we'd have a laugh about it, but I was kind of being a prick. For what it's worth, I'm kinda agitated too. My tenant is outside my building talking in her car, and the phone is hooked up through the speakers, (why the fuck do people do this?), and I can hear every goddamn word through my window and it's driving me nuts, but I don't wanna say anything to her because she's a great tenant lol. Also, my daughter just won't goddamn put the game down for a second to do her homework that's due tomorrow.......

.......Ya know what brother, you got the right idea. Hold off on creating families for as long as possible lol.

Spoiler

JK I love my daughter to hell and back lol

I'm getting pressured into finding a woman by my parents, especially my dad. He REALLY wants me to settle down. I want to make him proud, but I want to do this right, you know?

And yeah. People can be inconsiderate at times. But we gotta live with one another if we're gonna make it through to the end, right? Easier said than done, though...

 

[Melon]

Oh. I thought you did. xD
Yeah, it gets pretty intense keeping it pent up inside me. Some guys make it to a year! That's something I want to achieve, but apparently, my body's not having it right now.

It's just because I exude so much raging testosterone energy on here, don't feel bad.

Also, I wouldn't feel bad about not making it a year; I don't know anyone that could make it even near that.

 

[Golgo 13]

Ok so to be clear the escort won’t be leaving after you nut? Because after 3 months it will be fun but won’t last long. At least with an hour you can go round 2, maybe round 3 (depending on your age).

 

[Halo is Back]

I don't understand the thought process of thinking masturbation is terrible for your life but banging hookers is fine.

 

[Deleted member 801069]

I’ve masturbated twice since clicking on this thread

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

Ok so to be clear the escort won’t be leaving after you nut?

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but isn't that what they're supposed to do? Is to leave after you're done? lol

Because after 3 months it will be fun but won’t last long. At least with an hour you can go round 2, maybe round 3 (depending on your age).

Lol, who's saying that I'm staying with an escort for three months? Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you're saying, lol.

 

[Frito_Pendejo]

Why would anyone do this to themselves?

 

[MaestroMike]

Yup! Actually, before the 3 month period started, I was already on a 2-month streak. I wet-dreamed, and then started the counter again.

Definitely would count the 2-month streak with the 3-month streak because wet-dreaming is involuntary and not fapping. Be proud of your 5-month streak.

 

[ConkerTheSquirrel.]

I don't understand the thought process of thinking masturbation is terrible for your life but banging hookers is fine.

I mean, it's a voluntary trade between us, so surely I see no reason why something like this is wrong. I would like to hear your take on this.

 

[OverHeat]

Pics of escort?