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[Mike]

Well I went and read Jotaro's other posts and I feel bad for his situation. But I think this statement is ridiculous:

Of course, psychologists don't help. No, I'm not insane, I don't need a shrink.

Personally, I think everyone would benefit from a good relationship with a counselor or psychologist. But especially someone in Jotaro's situation could really use someone dependable to talk to, (online forums don't count) even if it doesn't cure the underlying condition.

Good luck Jotaro.

 

[Blackie]

I think...I understand your question, um? So I guess my answer is I also am into monogamy and hate one night stands. Call me foolish but I always look at the next girl as a potential wife, and judge them accordingly. I have really high standards.

Did that answer your question?

 

[Jdw40223]

Thats too long of a post for you to have 'beaten all the odds'! you are still fighting them obviously. You crave too much attention and feel TONS of pity for yourself. NO girl wants to be with that. Sure you are good at pointing out the bad traits of others, to help them (ie your ex: saying thanks for making me who i am), but that's all you know how to do. You think of yourself waaay too much, and if you didn't then you wouldn't have put us through that long ass post. You have alot to learn and growing up to do. If you answer to that is " HAHA .. YEAH RIGHT" Then you might as well watch yer memory DVD's till your 40. By then you should start to self evaluate.

 

[Inumaru]

In my defense, I'm a music major

Hahaha, that's awesome. I was too! We gotta stick together so no more grammar edits for you.

Glad there are at least a respectable number of people being nice about this. Serious girl trouble sucks big time. Keep your chin up Jotaro.

 

[Dsal]

One thing that always happens in any good long-term relationship is that the people change a bit and kind of start mirroring each other after a while. It's not like their core being changes, but the outer layers change. The point being that for most people to have a successful relationship they need to be flexible and take active interest in what the other person likes as well. Something about your post implied that you think you are a certain way and don't expect to need to adapt to a relationship, but you need to if you're going to find success.

If you're looking for someone with a long checklist of stuff that's up to your standards, you're going to be looking for a long time. Again, as previous posters have mentioned, it's best to find someone that meets the most important criteria, but don't sweat the lesser criteria. That's the stuff you're going to have to adapt past, and if you love someone you can overlook their lesser differences with you.

When people have really high standards, what it usually means is that they're actually more enamored with themselves than anyone else. They see romance as a strict audition rather than an opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment.

 

[Jotaro]

Now I don't see everything like the animated lol's light-blue, and my tumor-stressed optical nerves can finally get some rest, thanks to Novartis.

Just when I was about to post the thread, I had more than a bad feeling about it's title, I knew something would be misunderstood real bad, guess I did not care. I just did not knew it would be that popular. :lol

I think just about everything I have said has been misunderstood.

 

[Jotaro]

You're clearly a depressive who looks to girls to heal your own personality deficincies. Work on yourself first.

Incredibly enough, I've set it to just sorrow, low, but constant sorrow. I work on myself since it's the sole thing I can do. The last thing I'd want to do as for a girl would be to heal my "deficiencies", I'd just want her to make me happy.

good god that's brilliant. this can't be emphasized enough.

I know about the inside joke, but somehow in my mind it's turning onto me and it makes me real sad, like, you can't be pointed at enough times to see how pathetic you are, even if it's not like that.

You dont work out much do you? (...) Visiting forums here cant help much either when most of the posts are about negative and bleak things that happen in world as we forget there is still alot beauty as well out there. Just my thoughts, it seems like your dead inside already, so you need think about it some and do something. Nothing wrong with talking with someone too if you can afford it.

I do not work out at all, not only my senses forbid me from doing so, but also all the nerves of my body who'd get dyskinesia. I'd do it but it is only because I cannot do so.

I know that visiting forums can't help, no one is going to help me in a tangible way. I would not say that most posts are negative, people are often misinformed and like to make everyone laugh with smartass responses such as all these. I cannot go outside at all, it would burn my retinas. I cannot really speak to someone now, I'm living alone and all my friends left the city, while I had to drop out of College, to work in the metropolis.

But don't ever think I'm dead, I'm not dead yet, like that knight in Monty Python. :lol

 

[rastex]

The last thing I'd want to do as for a girl would be to heal my "deficiencies", I'd just want her to make me happy.

Sorry, but this is still a wrong attitude. I don't want to be patronizing, especially in your difficult situation that I can't begin to imagine, BUT not being happy is a deficiency. So I hope you see the contradiction in your sentence. What I'm meaning by all of this is that you have to make yourself happy by yourself, without needing a girl. This will make you strong and independent, and ironically far more attractive to girls.

 

[Tarazet]

I know about the inside joke, but somehow in my mind it's turning onto me and it makes me real sad, like, you can't be pointed at enough times to see how pathetic you are, even if it's not like that.

Like I said to Loki by PM a couple weeks ago, people build up an idea of those who write extremely long posts that is based entirely on the fact that they write extremely long posts. It has nothing to do with anything else whatsoever, but both you and Loki have taken it as if by cracking at your posts, they were also cracking at your innermost flaws (whether they are obvious or elusive, real or imagined, is irrelevant). But they ain't. They're just cracking at your long ass posts.

On the flip side, some people may think that since all of my posts are very short, I have nothing to say. I take no offense to this.

 

[Jotaro]

Sorry, but this is still a wrong attitude. I don't want to be patronizing, especially in your difficult situation that I can't begin to imagine, BUT not being happy is a deficiency. So I hope you see the contradiction in your sentence. What I'm meaning by all of this is that you have to make yourself happy by yourself, without needing a girl. This will make you strong and independent, and ironically far more attractive to girls.

This was just in defence I'd need a girl to heal my character.

I think exactly like you did. I tried to keep myself happy. Not being happy is a deficiency, you think I don't know? I'm not happy, and while it's normal it has got nothing right. But the best is the enemy of good, I know I can be happy without needing a girl, I have been alone very often in my life, and I found ways to enjoy it beyond my initial beliefs. I know that this would make me more attractive to girls.

 

[Jotaro]

Like I said to Loki by PM a couple weeks ago, people build up an idea of those who write extremely long posts that is based entirely on the fact that they write extremely long posts.

I realised that these attitudes existed since I started using BBSes in the early nineties, dude.

It has nothing to do with anything else whatsoever, but both you and Loki have taken it as if by cracking at your posts, they were also cracking at your innermost flaws (whether they are obvious or elusive, real or imagined, is irrelevant). But they ain't. They're just cracking at your long ass posts.

I know, it was just the specific post I initially quoted that left an impression, an image of perceverance, on me.

On the flip side, some people may think that since all of my posts are very short, I have nothing to say. I take no offense to this.

I do not think that at all as for myself. But me, I really have a whole lot to say. I'd like to have said much, much more than what I typed initially, believe it or not. If I am not concise enough, it is because of the tumor that left my senses fucked up pending for a cure, I cannot edit back what I type at all, only thing I can do, is pickup say, a couple typos I have noticed. But while I write, I cannot edit anything, so for sure, I get lost in tought, I become redundant, I inverse letters. When I began being able to use a computer again, I could not even look at the monitor, nor the keyboard! So I learned how to write coherent sentences while not looking at anything but my inner mind.

 

[Mike]

Incredibly enough, I've set it to just sorrow, low, but constant sorrow. I work on myself since it's the sole thing I can do.

You aren't listening to me.

You'd benefit greatly from seeing a professional psychologist; these issues of depression are serious and need to be treated as such. Please don't let the stigma of "seeing a shrink" keep you away from it.

 

[Jotaro]

You aren't listening to me.

You'd benefit greatly from seeing a professional psychologist; these issues of depression are serious and need to be treated as such. Please don't let the stigma of "seeing a shrink" keep you away from it.

I have seen a psychologist, and I have seen shrinks dude, for a long time. In the end, they came up to the conclusion that as long as my senses would ruin my life, and especially since in the end of 2003 I refrain to my house against my will, I would be sad. It was just normal. I was NOT diagnoscised with depression!

Ironically, that was what I tought all along.

And now, I'm working on getting my senses back, which I will in a relatively short therm. In the meantime, my life is black for sure.

 

[Jotaro]

I think I understand where you're coming from Jotaro. Finding an attractive, intellectual, cultured, video game-loving women isn't an impossibility, but it's definitely not easy. I think you need to look at where you're looking for them, though. It seems to me you're most likely to find this type in a university setting. There are plenty of intelligent, well-read women there, but it seems to me that they get much harder to find in the "real world" once you graduate.

I would even say it's nearly impossible. And that's how I gave these impressions that made it all wrong. I am NOT looking for a panacea! No one can be perfect. Just someone who'd like me for what I am, and that I'd love for these same reasons, which I'd share some interests with. What I typed, was all that interested me, not all that I looked at in one single girl, I don't think that hypothetical girl would exist.

I think you need to look at where you're looking for them, though. It seems to me you're most likely to find this type in a university setting.

Love happens everywhere, there is no ideal hook-up place, as much as I, and pretty much everyone on this board, would like it to happen.

There are plenty of intelligent, well-read women there, but it seems to me that they get much harder to find in the "real world" once you graduate.

I dropped out of College since FEBRUARY 2002. I'm not meant to criticize you, nor anyone, just to make it stand out to everyone.

Decide what's most important to you, and be realistic on the rest. You're going to have to make some compromises, as will she.

Thanks for stating the obvious, Sherlock. Seriously thanks, but for the record, I eat pragmatism in the morning with my Corn Flakes

And no one is going to be your ex-girlfriend; don't ever make the mistake of comparing them. People sometimes get overly-romanticized notions of how good things "were". Don't stay in that mindset.

This I'd gathered years ago, which is why I never did. I'm overly-romanticized for sure, but it's because of what I am and what I lived and had, or just had left, to hang onto, not because I just miss those moments.

Get out there and make it happen! Good luck!

"If my outlook's so bright, why can't you tell me about it?"
"Oh I would look, sir, but it burns my retinas!"

That's both figurative and literal.

I'm wondering how long it's been since you broke up. I read only halfway through sorry.. and I felt the same way towards my first serious girlfriend but after 6 months or so I felt a lot better.

A couple years. Only recently she learned how bad my health was, and thus I got this valentine, and while she tried this time that much hard to make me feel happy, the road to hell is filled with good intentions. Sometimes girls will try too hard to make you happy and this is the result.

 

[SKluck]

:lol This is gold.

As for the topic, girls have pussies, they don't need another one.

 

[Jotaro]

I think the major problem that you're facing is your romanticized concept of the "perfect girl" is making you far too idealistic in your expectations. Instead of focusing on particular interests that you would like for your "dream girl" to relate to you on, look for a girl with the same GENERAL interests as yourself. When you love someone and can relate to them on a general spectrum, you find your differences cute or funny rather than a deterrence and eventually learn to pick out what the other person would like. The same can be said for any girl you may happen to meet who doesn't carry the same interests as you. If you relate on a general mindset, nothing else really matters and you can find common ground in just about anything. Getting to know or experience each other's interests is the most fun part of a relationship and who knows, you may end up creating a new fan or becoming one yourself. If anything, you won’t be short in experiencing or being introduced to new forms of entertainment or interest.

That's exactly what I want. In fact, I would not like having someone who'd have the same interests in me. I don't want to be criticized too hard on spending too much on DVDs. But then again, I'd just have to complain about her wardrobe, about how many pair of shoes she has got. :lol

I mean, I like just having a little edge. I remember my ex would like animé, but only specific types and really not as much as I did. She liked videogames, but she despised FPSes. I remember when I played Unreal Tournament and she would hear the crys of death of opponents in that game, nothing would make her frowned that much. :lol

As for actually meeting a girl with a general mindset, you mention that you want a girl who is "literary" and intelligent. I would think that college would be the best place for you to meet a girl like that; especially since there are so many appreciation clubs. If not, why don't you look into local groups or institutions of interest? Join Menza, join the local literary appreciation club, go to museums and artistic expositions, maybe even become involved as a volunteer in localized partisan politics, etc.

Funny you mention this, while I was in a neurological research center for my tumor, I had to pass an I.Q. test. My senses hurt like mad. And I hate these testings. I hate mathematics, I hate chemistry, I want my future job to have nothing to do with that. I am able to, but that fucking pisses me off. But still I did the test as hard as I tried.
And then I got the doctor back. I said "for the test, sorry I screwed this shit up". he asked me if I knew what Menza was. Of course I'd knew, I'd ask why he would ask me such questions. He said I was possibly one of the most intelligent canadians and that it would certainly allow me to expand my interests.

I said I did not wanted any of that shit. I don't like stuck-up people. I hate chess and all these dumb intelligent cultural activities! I also don't like being excentricized. But it was cool, I guess. :lol

Obviously, you’re focused on improving yourself and have the confidence to pursue what you want; your problem is that you need to get out there and look in the right places.

Of course, because of serious, temporary health issues, I have to wait until I get out of my vault to gain back a glimpse of normal life. Accepting to stay in this vault to protect my senses, waiting for the radioactive fallouts to evaporize before I could go out, was the hardest coming-of age thing I ever had to do with my life.

If I was about to do this right now, that would be like the introduction FMV of Fallout 2: my eyes would REALLY get burned to death. And just like in Fallout 2, when I can, I hope I won't be shot with machine guns by the outside when my time has come at last. :lol

 

[Jotaro]

Maybe, but Manabanana's response is the and out and out leader for response of the year and you have to admit you roll the dice when you post your innermost thoughts on gaming-age.

"That doesn't matters, danger's like Jell-O: there is always room for more" - Tex Murphy

I learned to be like Tex.

And while this metaphore about Beavis and Butthead and Citizen Kane is basically true, it's still a metaphore, so don't go overboard, generalizing with everything. :lol

 

[Jotaro]

Thats too long of a post for you to have 'beaten all the odds'! you are still fighting them obviously. You crave too much attention and feel TONS of pity for yourself. NO girl wants to be with that. Sure you are good at pointing out the bad traits of others, to help them (ie your ex: saying thanks for making me who i am), but that's all you know how to do. You think of yourself waaay too much, and if you didn't then you wouldn't have put us through that long ass post. You have alot to learn and growing up to do. If you answer to that is " HAHA .. YEAH RIGHT" Then you might as well watch yer memory DVD's till your 40. By then you should start to self evaluate.

This however, I strongly disagree with. I don't crave or want pity, I barely wish someone will read some of my comments and admire me, find me noble, for that. I want to exchange ideas, knowledge and toughts.

You think I did not grew up sick of pity since the end of 2003? Hearing the same generic comments a million times, what can they do to you? Even at that, genuine sympathy makes me feel good, but it's over before I know it. As for being happy, this doesn't makes up my daily bread. Reading and writing does, however, along with the fun news, intelligent stories, and videogame posts that constitute a part of GAF.

 

[Deleted member 4784]

Funny you mention this, while I was in a neurological research center for my tumor, I had to pass an I.Q. test. My senses hurt like mad. And I hate these testings. I hate mathematics, I hate chemistry, I want my future job to have nothing to do with that. I am able to, but that fucking pisses me off. But still I did the test as hard as I tried.
And then I got the doctor back. I said "for the test, sorry I screwed this shit up". he asked me if I knew what Menza was. Of course I'd knew, I'd ask why he would ask me such questions. He said I was possibly one of the most intelligent canadians and that it would certainly allow me to expand my interests. I said I did not wanted any of that shit. I don't like stuck-up people. I hate chess and all these dumb intelligent cultural activities! I also don't like being excentricized. But it was cool, I guess. :lol

Sorry but I typoed. o_o; I actually meant Mensa (although I think we're both referring to the same organization). Anyways, I'm a member of Mensa and although there are a few "stuck-up" people who are members, the vast majority are normal people just like you and me who talk on a variety of issues and interests. I originally joined because my dad is a member (he's the 5th highest recorded in Mensa history for California and has been a long standing member with our local group since the 70's) but I don't go to many of the events or gatherings themselves and can't really speak for the attitudes there. My dad stopped going years ago, but from what he's told me the meetings usually consist of a lecture on the subject for that month followed by socialization like a formal party. As for my own experiences with Mensa, I occasionally write to the zine/newsletter myself with opinions on politics or legislation and there's a very tolerant although cordially debatable environment there.

IIRC Mensa is international, so there should be a group you can join somewhere in Canada. If you've already met the requirements to join then I'd suggest atleast giving it a look. There's as much of a focus on philosophy as there is on science, politics, mathematics, etc. Also, if I may suggest, it doesn't exactly hurt to have a Mensa membership listed on your resume. ^^

Of course, because of serious, temporary health issues, I have to wait until I get out of my vault to gain back a glimpse of normal life. Accepting to stay in this vault to protect my senses, waiting for the radioactive fallouts to evaporize before I could go out, was the hardest coming-of age thing I ever had to do with my life.

I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with health issues right now. =/ I sincerely hope that your recovery goes well. My dad has also had to go for neurological testing (due to his Parkinson's) and from what he's told me it is was one of the most scary and lonely experiences he ever went through in his life. I hope you and your family the best of things.

 

[NLB2]

Hahaha, that's awesome. I was too! We gotta stick together so no more grammar edits for you.

No shit, huh? What do you play? I'm a trombonist.

 

[Jotaro]

Sorry but I typoed. o_o; I actually meant Mensa (although I think we're both referring to the same organization). Anyways, I'm a member of Mensa and although there are a few "stuck-up" people who are members, the vast majority are normal people just like you and me who talk on a variety of issues and interests. I originally joined because my dad is a member (he's the 5th highest recorded in Mensa history for California and has been a long standing member with our local group since the 70's) but I don't go to many of the events or gatherings themselves and can't really speak for the attitudes there. My dad stopped going years ago, but from what he's told me the meetings usually consist of a lecture on the subject for that month followed by socialization like a formal party. As for my own experiences with Mensa, I occasionally write to the zine/newsletter myself with opinions on politics or legislation and there's a very tolerant although cordially debatable environment there.

IIRC Mensa is international, so there should be a group you can join somewhere in Canada. If you've already met the requirements to join then I'd suggest atleast giving it a look. There's as much of a focus on philosophy as there is on science, politics, mathematics, etc. Also, if I may suggest, it doesn't exactly hurt to have a Mensa membership listed on your resume. ^^

Yes, there is a subdivision in Canada and Quebec, definitely. However, I'm not interested. To me, it's all excentricisation, and i've went through enough of this shit in life. I just want to live an happy life. Maybe like Will Hunting.

I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with health issues right now. =/ I sincerely hope that your recovery goes well. My dad has also had to go for neurological testing (due to his Parkinson's) and from what he's told me it is was one of the most scary and lonely experiences he ever went through in his life. I hope you and your family the best of things.

My family basically left me to my own devices. I was the one who went to the neurological research center, who made searches on Google, I suggested pills to doctors. In the end, I am treated with what I suggested from the start, even if many were skeptical. And everything's going according to my plan. It seems I'm always right when speculating. Except for stock market, silly me! :lol

You cannot believe how soon other people's lives prevails upon the ill's torments. When I was at the hospital for an hormonal blood test, out of the blue, I recognized a girl which I went to school with in elementary school. When she saw me she recognized me, but she looked so fucked up! Her mother was there, she recognized me. Turns out my old female friend, who'd I'd lost contact with since 13 years ago, is schizophrenic.

I remember how bright she was, I thank God to have such a strong, beautiful, and fully intact mind. When I learned that all of my brain was intact, that was the biggest relief in my life. I'd visit the girl, these poor people, their parents leave them alone, they can't cope with them. I'd visit her, and she was so sad, she did not understood what happened. Shrinks stuck into her mouth pills without knowing what they were doing. I saw many things such as these while I visited my friend, and I never saw so much human depravity in my life. Shrinks are the worst breed ever, such heartless bastards.

 

[madara]

My apologizes, obviously my well intended advice is of no use and abit insulting. I thought about it for few mins and looked at some of your threads and I still have no clue what illness you have. Closest I can get to is XP but that cant be, because you watch dvd and computer stuff. I dont know exactly what to tell a person who can not excerise or go outside because his retinas will die. I guess build your home in your head, so it can go with you instead of real world if you know what I mean. Surely yours is private battle if someone like me with MS and 6 other secondary conditions cant relate to it. You seem young or well equipped with positive side. That alone should be your best asset.

 

[Tommie Hu$tle]

Whoa, whoa, whoa this thread actaully got serious?

Oh never mind

As for the topic, girls have pussies, they don't need another one.

:lol

Faith in man's lack of humanity toward his fellow man +1

 

[Jotaro]

My apologizes, obviously my well intended advice is of no use and abit insulting. I thought about it for few mins and looked at some of your threads and I still have no clue what illness you have. Closest I can get to is XP but that cant be, because you watch dvd and computer stuff. I dont know exactly what to tell a person who can not excerise or go outside because his retinas will die. I guess build your home in your head, so it can go with you instead of real world if you know what I mean. Surely yours is private battle if someone like me with MS and 6 other secondary conditions cant relate to it. You seem young or well equipped with positive side. That alone should be your best asset.

How could I blame you for not knowing that? You were not being a prick.

You think I watch DVD and computer and video games stuff after all I said? I just talk about them. Well I will need to say it loud and clear so everyone who reads that understands:

I have not watched a single movie, tv show, played a single game since september 2003, i have stopped COMPLETELY listening to music in december 2003 because of the hyperacusis that spawned from my tumor

My retinas would go berserk, my pupils dilated like melons, my ears literally cry for mercy, blablabla... but I have got to accept that until I am better. And that was the hardest things for me to accept in my life. Luckily I did it soon, it saved my life.

I know it would sound awkwards, for sometimes, I'd rather have a much more troublesome disease, but one that would be well-known by science and could be treated with ease and with everything settled in mind. Because such a combination of Prolactinoma (the official name of my tumor), pills given wrongfully for years that spawned neuropathical pain, and such issues, has got no jurisprudence in the world whatsoever.

Understand what I mean? It feels damn bad to be in the dark sometimes as for what my future is made of.

I wish you good luck. MS cannot be cured, I feel for you.

As mine, on the other hand, it can be on a very short term, and I'm working on it. And what a coincidence, I have to leave right now to go see my neurologist to withdraw from my previous tumor medication that is not suitable anymore. And that means no more ears sensibility, pain, and eyes sensibilities going berserk!

As of now, it would appear most people are still obsessed with panties over anything else. When I will be cured, I will have a perfect health. I have a strategy in mind as for women since long ago. And I'm working on it. Plus I have a female friend who works at that center I'm going to, and she is super-cute and intelligent.

 

[Son of Godzilla]

So like, how do you get by browsing the webs?

 

[Foreign Jackass]

Oh well. Another poor soul looking for love advice on a gaming forum. I understand how you feel, Jotaro. But I wouldn't post this type of feelings on the Internet. Most guys here have enough trouble proving to themselves that they are great guys, and not stupid geeks on an Internet forum. Don't try to make them think too much about feelings, they think that they'll score acting all badass. This kind of thinking works until you're 25. No girl over 25 wants to have sex with a braindead emotion-deprived macho man. Be yourself, and everything will come to you. And, well, if it doesn't, at least you can feel proud about being yourself, and not another cardboard cut-out dumbass.

 

[Jotaro]

So like, how do you get by browsing the webs?

Cutting on the amount of sites I visit (some backgrounds, colors, fonts are too harsh on my eyes), I use ad muncher, I block animated gifs (in the first place I had them temporarily re-enabled, and i saw all these turquoise lol icons in animations, my eyes were sensible to blue and hurt like shit for hours).

The thing I can stand the least is animations. Because of this mixture of poor visual signal and presbitism, they torn my eyes in half. I can stand browsing the interweb using an LCD screen. Hail to BenQ!

When I was able to browse GAF, I was really happy, I had been out of gaming site for a long while. Most sites I cannot bear with for one reason or another. If something was ever to change the design that my eyes could not bear, I'd have to leave. So far I cope well with everything (I was afraid when I saw those amazon yellow signs, that creates a big contrasts). I tell you, the amount of things that hurt my eyes, is mind-boggling. Some are just so weird, it would be like explaining colour to the blind.

 

[Jotaro]

Oh well. Another poor soul looking for love advice on a gaming forum. I understand how you feel, Jotaro. But I wouldn't post this type of feelings on the Internet. Most guys here have enough trouble proving to themselves that they are great guys, and not stupid geeks on an Internet forum. Don't try to make them think too much about feelings, they think that they'll score acting all badass. This kind of thinking works until you're 25. No girl over 25 wants to have sex with a braindead emotion-deprived macho man. Be yourself, and everything will come to you. And, well, if it doesn't, at least you can feel proud about being yourself, and not another cardboard cut-out dumbass.

I am not looking for love advice, I build up my own.

But somehow, I deem yours better than the others'! Ok, I will wait until september 27, in 2006, and then I will just be able to score every human being with mammary glands and ovaries. I really tought I could not be proud of being myself.

I don't like generalizations, I was wondering if other youths like me shared the traits I'd first mention, and how they were able to went through their goals with it. But not as for getting advice (IMHO, it's too relative), more like because I am interested in say, what girls have become today (because I don't see many girls, because I stay in my house, or just, I don't see much youths at all, so I miss a great deal of contact with my generation), and just because I am curious about it all, what could await me with such a mindset.


Example: today (like I said), I went to the neurological research center. I sure payed off a visit to my female friend, I did not knew if she would be there, but luckily she was. I was afraid just to introduce myself to her, and I've known her for a long time! And afterwards, I spoke like Jay, minus most the filthyness of course.

But just when she recognized me and I entered her office, she was like: "Oh Jotaro, I'm so happy to see you!" And then she came up to ge and kissed my cheeks and hugged me.I was so not much used at all to these things that for a moment, I was like stunned, I was like freaked out about what to do or not! Fortunately I think fucking fast, and I did kiss her cheeks too and hugged her back a little. I was talking to her, and yet, I could not believe I had not been out of my house for about two weeks! I was walking in the center, when I have to leave my house I am always freaked out like, I've become antisocial, my senses will get hurt like mad! Fortunately, these places are large enough, are mostly silent, and not much hurt my sight. SO I am really surprised after I go out of my vault, I can still act like I ever was before, it's just, such things I am not used to do anymore.


I had about 20 minutes with her, I really like her friendship. As it's in a far city, she cannot come to see me, plus she's busy like fuck. She is my type of girl, but for some reason I am not in love with her. But, out of the blue while daydreaming, I'd wonder what it would be like if we were a couple. It's due mostly, because she is a source of female sweetness for me. Still while talking to her, I really found her beautiful, and sexy, and even if I am usually able to control my emotions extremely well, I could not help but blush like a tomato, and she did noticed. She saw how much I had lost weight, how much more beautiful I had become, and she did blush too. But we just laughed in the end.

And here I am back in front of my monitor. :lol


(oh en passant, tu n'aurais pas un message privé dans ta boîte correspondante pour lequel répondre, intitulé nuit et brouillard?