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[Wellington]

Just got into an argument with a friend, probably my best friend, about what we are doing Friday night. We had discussed last week with the rest of the group (four of us total) that we could go to our usual hangout eatery and chill there and then see where the night takes us. Sometime during the week, he decided he wanted to go see this movie about Che Guevara which opens this Friday in select theatres. The movie is 'The Motorcycle Diaries' (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318462/) if anyone is interested. It's in Spanish (we both speak it) but with English subtitles.

Here lies the problem. I told him that maybe our other two friends, whom are of Filipino and West Indian descent, wouldn't be interested in a film, in Spanish, about a Cuban revolutionary, whom they know only because he speaks about ol' Che so fanatically. He gets a bit upset and says that he will go see the movie by himself and that the rest of us can go to the eatery and hangout by ourselves. Now, the movie is playing all day at the theatre he wants to go to, and he's unemployed so he has all day to do whatever he wants. So I call him out on the fact that he is dissing us in order to go watch a movie which I know I am not really interested in seeing, and which I doubt the other two dudes will want to see. He's saying I made the decision for them, yet refuses to ask them if they want to see the movie.

What the heck did I say wrong? I mean yeah we should ask the other two what they think, but he didn't want to.

Now arises the problem of talking to him again. I'm one of those people that just cut people out forever if something goes wrong. I don't think I am in the wrong, and obviously neither does he, so how do we patch this up? Any ideas?

 

[Dilbert]

My two cents:

Yes, from a certain point of view, you DID speak for your friends. I can see why you'd be skeptical that they'd be interested, but you never know what people might enjoy. It would have been good to get their input.

On the other hand, you were clearly not interested in the movie, and your friend sounds like he's uncomfortably fond of Che. Also, you had already decided AS A GROUP to pursue other plans that night. Your friend wasn't being fair by saying, "Hey, *I* want to go see a movie, and you all should join me."

I'd just let this one slide -- not worth blowing up a friendship over. In the future, it might be good to approach it like this:

"Hey, I'm really not interested in that movie, and I doubt that XXX and YYY would be interested either. Plus, we already had plans for Friday, y'know? Why don't you see it during the day, and we can still get together that night?" If he insists on trying to change the evening plans anyway, then you should stage a coup.

 

[Wellington]

Ugh, you are right, as usual.

It's going to be very awkward for the first few minutes at least. I know for sure I am not apologizing.

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

Simple solution, slip him the shocker.

 

[demon]

My two cents:

Yes, from a certain point of view, you DID speak for your friends. I can see why you'd be skeptical that they'd be interested, but you never know what people might enjoy. It would have been good to get their input.

On the other hand, you were clearly not interested in the movie, and your friend sounds like he's uncomfortably fond of Che. Also, you had already decided AS A GROUP to pursue other plans that night. Your friend wasn't being fair by saying, "Hey, *I* want to go see a movie, and you all should join me."

I'd just let this one slide -- not worth blowing up a friendship over. In the future, it might be good to approach it like this:

"Hey, I'm really not interested in that movie, and I doubt that XXX and YYY would be interested either. Plus, we already had plans for Friday, y'know? Why don't you see it during the day, and we can still get together that night?" If he insists on trying to change the evening plans anyway, then you should stage a coup.

Goddammit, I read your entire post thinking you're MAF.

WTF IS GOING ON WITH THIS PLACE?

 

[dem]

Don't befriend people who are fond of Che.

 

[ManDudeChild]

Simple solution, slip him the shocker.

How would that work with a guy?

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

How would that work with a guy?

Painfully.

 

[Leon]

I'm not giving you any solution, but simply stating that no, I don't think you're wrong. The way this problem will solve itself depends on the kind of friendship you got going with that guy. He seriously overreacted though. And when you say that "you called him out for dissing you", if you were actually aggressive towards him, then you overreacted too. You should simply wait a little until the argument dissolves itself.

Or you could both watch one of the latest beheadings of the hostages in Iraq and realize that what you're arguing about is more pointless than you can ever imagine.

 

[Teddman]

Wellington, you are in the right. Who the Hell wants to pay full prime-time markup ticket price for a subtitled flick about Che?

A simple call to your other two friends will do the trick.

When they express that they'd rather see another movie (and they will), tell your buddy that it's three-to-one against seeing the Che movie and the majority rules. It's that simple. But "Hey, you can catch that movie anytime. Let's see something we can all enjoy."

 

[Richiban]

I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.

Let him go to the movie, because there is nothing saying that you all have to hang out all the time.

Everybody has different interests, which is what makes some friendships so great.

 

[marko]

The only thing I will say, although you guys made plans, hanging out at an eatery and waiting to see where the night takes you does not sound like set in stone plans. He probably figured since there wasn't anything too official going on, he'd throw the movie idea out.

Oh, not that an apology is needed in a situation like this, but sometimes it does not hurt, even if you don't feel like you were in the wrong. Heck, that could simply trigger your friend to say, "yeah, you were right, just wanted to see the movie bad and acted poorly....." or something like that.

 

[Miguel]

Well, knowing myself, I'd probably get pissed off and tell him to do whatever he wants. I'd blow it all out of proportion to the point where we will never talk again.

Yeah, I'm starting to think I'm not much of a people person.