Yea I'm still of the opinion that ROMs are overrated for new phones. They are good to keep phones alive longer but they are rarely fully functional and often have trade offs (stability)
It depends. Most popular phones have a few ROMs either based on the original firmware or on a relatively similar device, which simply improve on the original one.
For example, I'm an HTC Desire Z owner, and the best ROMs I've used are HTC Sensation-based, such as Virtuous Unity. They are in virtually every way better than the original firmware.
But of course, the further you get, with AOSP-based ROMs in particular, I completely agree with you: they're usually pretty bad. I'm running an ICS ROM right now, and things are really not that peachy, with bugs virtually everywhere.
The community has done a great job keeping the device up to date after HTC dropped support early, but it's just not cutting it anymore.
I've loved my Desire Z, it's an amazing little device, but the support just isn't there anymore, even from the community. I'm starting to get that upgrade itch.
And this time around, there doesn't seem to be any Android device that really stands out. Back when I got it, I literally fell in love with the DZ, looking at every review, every little detail I could find for about 2 months before pulling the trigger. I just knew it was the one I wanted, and it's the one that lured me away from getting an iPhone. The Atrix back then was also quite innovative and a really good device. I know it's time for me to upgrade, but there's no Android phone that makes me want to upgrade (I've never been a fan of Samsung's phones, despite knowing that objectively they're pretty much unbeatable).
It's like a sea of phones with slightly different interfaces and technical details, but there isn't any that stands out to me. Am I the only one feeling this way about the current crop?