Quoted in full as I respect your experiences and how you analyze the situation of a traffic stop. Well written.
I appreciate that. I've had a conceal carry gentleman act all pissed off when I stopped him. There's a common theme when you stop a car. It's not a happy safe space. I've never met any single person that was genuinely happy that I pulled them over. Polite, respectful, and cooperated, sure.. never happy smiling, enthusiastic about the idea of getting a ticket.
That being said, handling situations when people are upset, trying to belittle you for taking their money (even though I've never actually received money on the side of the road), taking away from the funds they've been saving for Christmas; we could go all day long about the things people say to try and make you feel bad for doing your job.
Back to how I handle that... I will raise my awareness levels, sure. Does that put me in the zone where it's getting closer to the "fear for me life" threshold? No. The mentality is that you have to understand that people might be upset that they are about to get a ticket, they've had a bad day, they just got fired, sig. other was found to be cheating, infinite amount of things people can have going on in their lives, and this adds a PLUS 1 to the stress.
I'm always polite, and 100% honest, even when being berated. I explain the reason I stopped, get the info I need, and do the procedures needed to be done in order to keep this person for as little time as possible. It gets a little worse when you are told by dispatch that the license is suspended, or there are active warrants, or the car was reported stolen. I still maintain my level of security for myself, but also for the person or persons I'm dealing with.
I explain that the license is suspended and I'm going to have to arrest you for driving with a suspended license. I've gathered all the info available to our dispatch, so I can explain why the license is suspended. Could be failure to pay property taxes, ticket(S), FR10 wasn't turned in (that's a financial responsibility form used in accident investigations)... I will tell them, politely, that I'm going to get all the paperwork done as soon as I leave the jail so that they can get a timely bond hearing. I'll driver over to the judges office with the paperwork and I'll hand it to him and let him know that "you" are ready for the hearing. The rest will be on his plate.
Putting them at ease, which is hard to do when you're take someone to jail, taking their freedom from them, helps keep people from getting hurt. I don't want to have to deal with a physical altercation. I have a lot of respect for human life, and the well being of others. That being said, I will do what is necessary to ensure that someone isn't shot, and that I can still go home when my shift is over. Shooting someone is my last resort. I would have to be in a situation that all other means of deescalation have been used and the person in front of me continues to threaten me with more than just words. Deescalation would mean in that case as verbal and physical means.
The thirteen years I was on the force, there were a dozen of times where using deadly force was completely reasonable for me, and legal. That's not how I'm wired though.
I said earlier about being stabbed... that shit hurts. I bled a lot. I didn't shoot the guy, I tackled his ass, broke his hand because he wouldn't drop the knife, cuffed him, and he's still in prison now. He writes to his family every year on the anniversary of that day and asks them to thank me for not taking his life and that he's sorry for trying to take mine. That was in late 2000. Any time his family sees me in public, they cry and thank me. Is that how anyone else would handle it? I don't have a clue.
Something as "simple" as a traffic stop isn't really simple, safe, or anything remotely a calm situation. It's how you present yourself, and how the offender reacts that determines what happens next. Traffic stops are extremely dangerous. Third most reason for death of cops last year was being struck by other vehicles. Being outside that car puts you at an enormous risk (I know first hand and I was LUCKY to have lived), and I wasn't even thought to survive when it happened to me.
Again, sorry for the long posts. I could go on hours and hours with this.