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[IDKFA]

I think you are ruining your ability to form meaningful bonds and contributing towards a culture that treats people as disposable objects.

I disagree. I slept around a lot in my youth, but I'm now happily married with children. I didn't ruin my ability to form a meaningful bond at all.

 

[GeorgPrime]

I think you are ruining your ability to form meaningful bonds and contributing towards a culture that treats people as disposable objects.

You only ruin your ability to form meaningful bonds if you are too weak in your own mind. I still can have meaningful bonds with the person i choose too and that dont pisses me off all the time with mental problems right from the start.

 

[nush]

I think you are ruining your ability to form meaningful bonds and contributing towards a culture that treats people as disposable objects.

Depends what your life experience is before the apps existed. I think there's a generation of people now that only know the apps for dating. So they don't get the real life experience that those apps were designed for, by people that also had previous real life experience.

For example you should have already learned;

Don't catch feels for a friend with benefits.
Don't emotionally over-invest in someone you've just met or are not dating.
Don't be an always on demand simp.
Take rejection on the chin and just move on.

So on and so forth.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Dating aps should be celebrated.

 

[Taxexemption]

Depends what your life experience is before the apps existed. I think there's a generation of people now that only know the apps for dating. So they don't get the real life experience that those apps were designed for, by people that also had previous real life experience.

For example you should have already learned;

Don't catch feels for a friend with benefits.
Don't emotionally over-invest in someone you've just met or are not dating.
Don't be an always on demand simp.
Take rejection on the chin and just move on.

So on and so forth.

I just dont buy into the idea that you can be having sex with someone and not be emotionally invested. Maybe other people are different, but for me this is not possible and it never will be. Its like you are trying to tell me 2 + 2 = 9.

When I imagine what it would be like to care so little about another person, I just cant do it. If there is a version of me that could not care, it would be a way less empathetic version of me.

 

[Mistake]

I decided to delete Tinder shortly after my original post. Told them I have standards and their app has none

 

[Bartski]

Looking for love on tinder is like looking for food in the dumpster.

You'll eventually find a rat that's only half rotten.

 

[jdforge]

That train has left the building.

I replied in a dry way thanking him for coming over and for the long drive. It's ok. It was a nice 3 hours.

Also don't reply so fast. It's at least 4-8 hours before you even think of replying at this stage.

You are flat out busy doing cool shit 24/7. Remember that when you're sat at home doing fuck all and want to respond quick.

Always leave the door open, but never appear too easy to get!

 

[Orutisu Furio]

So, is anyone else in the pits of hell of dating apps? I've been single for 2 years with dozens of dates that normally end up as ONS and pure silence after. I've had a couple of more steady encounters that last between 5 or 6 more dates but everything just peters out eventually.

Have any of you actually managed to find a serious relationship these days?

The apps are built in a way that there's always someone new. The endless chase is real. I've reached the point that I'm tempted to delete everything and stop caring about finding someone. Which for a gay man is a stamp on celibacy since everything happens online and IRL you never know who's gay or not.

Welp?

The problem is the kinds of people that use these apps aren't looking for anything serious outside casual sex, and because we live in a society today where the majority of people are incapable of having actual relationships, because relationships involve work and compromise, you get what you see on Tinder, Bumble, etc. Just easy access to endless options and fast food style dating.

A personal Anecdote: all of the people I know that use dating apps are perpetually single. Both men and women. They all share the same struggles, complaints, etc — but it's mostly their fault. They're all looking for easy sex and don't want to admit it. They're just not people worth committing to or capable of relationships.

The ones that don't use them are in / have been in committed relationships for some time and Tinder is a foreign concept, or considered for creepy guys or single 40 year old women.

My personal opinion is that you're unlikely (not impossible, just unlikely) to meet anyone meaningful through dating apps that is worth being with for anything outside sex or the occasional fucking around.

 

[Prison Mike]

So, is anyone else in the pits of hell of dating apps? I've been single for 2 years with dozens of dates that normally end up as ONS and pure silence after. I've had a couple of more steady encounters that last between 5 or 6 more dates but everything just peters out eventually.

Have any of you actually managed to find a serious relationship these days?

The apps are built in a way that there's always someone new. The endless chase is real. I've reached the point that I'm tempted to delete everything and stop caring about finding someone. Which for a gay man is a stamp on celibacy since everything happens online and IRL you never know who's gay or not.

Welp?

 

[///PATRIOT]

Why don't you do some gardening for the neighborhood until you find person you like

 

[Tams]

After like 10 failed relationships with mental ill women from germany, that was the best option i had when i accidentally met her in Germany over Tinder. *lol*

But i also have Ex-Girlfriends in Sweden, in Turkey, in Poland.... so i play in all ballparks.

Your Thai wife doesn't live in the same country as you. Listing your failed relationships from other European countries is like listing people you've dated from other states in the US to Americans as if it's an achievement.

You two, just get a room already! Sheeesshhhh!

 

[Cyberpunkd]

The problem is the kinds of people that use these apps aren't looking for anything serious outside casual sex, and because we live in a society today where the majority of people are incapable of having actual relationships, because relationships involve work and compromise, you get what you see on Tinder, Bumble, etc. Just easy access to endless options and fast food style dating.

A personal Anecdote: all of the people I know that use dating apps are perpetually single. Both men and women. They all share the same struggles, complaints, etc — but it's mostly their fault. They're all looking for easy sex and don't want to admit it. They're just not people worth committing to or capable of relationships.

The ones that don't use them are in / have been in committed relationships for some time and Tinder is a foreign concept, or considered for creepy guys or single 40 year old women.

My personal opinion is that you're unlikely (not impossible, just unlikely) to meet anyone meaningful through dating apps that is worth being with for anything outside sex or the occasional fucking around.

What a terrible take. The amount of info you put on dating apps is precisely because of looking for a relationship, for a ONS a simple app of pic body+dick combo should suffice.

Even before Covid this was a great way for others to meet that have active professional lives and simply do not have time or willingness to go to bars, clubs, etc.

 

[Bartski]

... on that note, I'm probably one of those half-rotten rats myself for many. As COVID killed any remaining semblance of me having a social life, Tinder is a bit like the last resort substitute and the illusion of opportunity. A failed one 9/10 cases, but I did hook up with a girl almost half my age quite recently on there, just because I've had a Bloodborne meme pic and she knew what it was. But that's a very rare occurrence, usually it's a waste of time.
I'm happy to have deleted it all as I'm way too busy with my toxic ex now IRL.

 

[Ownage]

I used a matchmaker after my divorce and it worked better than expected. If online isn't working for you, try something new.

 

[nush]

I used a matchmaker after my divorce and it worked better than expected.

You were both paying to talk to each other, requires a bit more of a commitment to someone showing interest.

 

[Ownage]

You were both paying to talk to each other, requires a bit more of a commitment to someone showing interest.

Indeed. The matchmaker wasn't cheap. But the quality of folks on there were high. All were committed to the cause, and whether there was a vibe or not, there weren't any flakes. I met a good partner after 5 meetups with different ppl. The process is a good option if one really does want to find a good partner.