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Are you ever proud of your bowel movements?
- Thread starter Willco
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Ninja Scooter
Member
the one i had today was poking OUT of the water.
One time it took like 8 flushes to break in half and fall into the hole. I'm thinking...wow... what a strong piece of shit!
And have you ever sat down, feel like you just plopped a million pound log, and then look down and it's like the smallest nugget you've ever seen? Or the exact opposite, push a little and when you look, it's fricken from the top of the water to the bottom of the bowl and beyond?!? :lol
I think I'm talking too much.
And have you ever sat down, feel like you just plopped a million pound log, and then look down and it's like the smallest nugget you've ever seen? Or the exact opposite, push a little and when you look, it's fricken from the top of the water to the bottom of the bowl and beyond?!? :lol
I think I'm talking too much.
Litigation Manuel
Member
Every once in a while I'll pass a log that requires NO WIPING. That is always incredible, so I'm proud of that, though I never have much to do with it. And you always have to wipe to find out there was no need to wipe, which makes you feel like you wasted a miracle. Also, if I can pass a log that is just one long chunk instead of segments I feel pretty proud. And when ISB I feel proud as well.
ISB
ISB
Ninja Scooter
Member
if there is one thread i am NOT clicking random links in, its this one.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
thanks dudes. I was just on the phone at work explaining something computery to a pretty girl. Hard to explain what I'm sniggering about....
Our toilets over here the water only just comes around the S bend thing, so it's a really far distance to the water, I swear, one time it was still coming out when it hit the water UNBROKEN.
I told all my friends and they all said "No way!"
Our toilets over here the water only just comes around the S bend thing, so it's a really far distance to the water, I swear, one time it was still coming out when it hit the water UNBROKEN.
I told all my friends and they all said "No way!"
sometimes, yeah. i remember a couple days ago i had a vague feeling of accomplishment, as if i'd gotten a girl's number or finished some boring work ahead of schedule, but i couldn't tie it to any specific event. then i was like: "oh yeah, i guess i'm proud of the huge shit i took this morning."
Smiles and Cries
Member
:lol
All Hail C-Webb
Hailing from the Chill-Web
I'm getting ready for a colonoscopy, I've had about 20 bowel movements I was proud of today. It feels like I'm pissing out of my ass, and it's squirting all over. I also once took a dump that did not break and almost reached the lid of the bowl. Shit must have been 3 feet long. I'm also proud whenever I make one of the green ones, tdoesn't happen very often though.
Edit: I also left the bathroom once without using any air freshener. Someone went in a fw minutes later and said it smelt like vanilla, but they couldn't find any to spray themselves. My shit smells like vanilla baby!!
Edit: I also left the bathroom once without using any air freshener. Someone went in a fw minutes later and said it smelt like vanilla, but they couldn't find any to spray themselves. My shit smells like vanilla baby!!
superegular
Member
i've been here since january; this thread made me laugh the most since i've been here.
i think just about everything has been covered, except for 'the splash'...
so, has anyone ever got the splash after dropping a heavy one? i'm always surprised when it happens to me, since i never know if it's coming or not.
i think just about everything has been covered, except for 'the splash'...
so, has anyone ever got the splash after dropping a heavy one? i'm always surprised when it happens to me, since i never know if it's coming or not.
submit your next behemoth to www.ratemypoo.com
I had two friends crashing on my floor one night... at about 430 one goes to the bathroom.
He dropped a bomb with such force that the noise from the toilet woke myself and the other friend up. We didnt really understand what was going on until he went for another bombing run about 30 seconds later.
****SPLAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH*********
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Much better."
Needless to say, the laughter this generated lasted for at least a good 20 minutes.
He dropped a bomb with such force that the noise from the toilet woke myself and the other friend up. We didnt really understand what was going on until he went for another bombing run about 30 seconds later.
****SPLAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH*********
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Much better."
Needless to say, the laughter this generated lasted for at least a good 20 minutes.
Senior Lurker
MS Informed
Shit! Am I the only one reading & posting this while at the can at work? (on cellphone, not laptop. A CAMERAPHONE!!!).
..........
I AM NOT LOOKING DOWN THERE!!1
..........
I AM NOT LOOKING DOWN THERE!!1
I had a bout of McDonald's induced diarrhea a few weeks back. It wasn't so much a dook as it was a viscous pudding-like blob of poo. Anyway, it was real dense, and it sunk to the bottom of my toilet. And it was stuck to the porcelain. It took 3 flushes, and it was still stuck. I had to close the lid, keep the fan running, and come back in an hour to get that fucker down. 
ScientificNinja
Member
heheh - beat me to it.scola said:
Sometimes I laugh like a super hero when I manage to drop a load at work that takes a good two or three flushes to go down. Once to break up the masses, twice for the bulk, possibly thrice for the residue. Bow(l) down in defeat before my waste, puny toilet.
Also, my favorite is what I call the "one-wipe wonder" or "the perfect dump", wherein all you need is one wipe to verify you're done and that's it. None of those pesky hide and seek turds. No fuss, no muss. You're in and out and feeling good.
Also, my favorite is what I call the "one-wipe wonder" or "the perfect dump", wherein all you need is one wipe to verify you're done and that's it. None of those pesky hide and seek turds. No fuss, no muss. You're in and out and feeling good.
fennec fox
ferrets ferrets ferrets ferrets FERRETS!!!
I've devoted a great deal of attention to my ferrets' litter lately (I'm worried one or both had chewed on some cushioning and had a blockage), so this is a topic near and dear to my heart.
I used to lay the most incredible craps on a regular basis. They would be the length of a school ruler and the girth of a Pringles can and they'd stick so far out of the water that it was like someone hurled a javelin of crap into the toilet and it was sticking out the bottom. They would always clog the toilet, and I would always be proud of doing so in a hotel or someplace as it was sort of like marking my territory.
Nowadays I lead a much healthier diet and my bowels are more humdrum and boring.
I used to lay the most incredible craps on a regular basis. They would be the length of a school ruler and the girth of a Pringles can and they'd stick so far out of the water that it was like someone hurled a javelin of crap into the toilet and it was sticking out the bottom. They would always clog the toilet, and I would always be proud of doing so in a hotel or someplace as it was sort of like marking my territory.
Nowadays I lead a much healthier diet and my bowels are more humdrum and boring.
I'm going to the toilet RIGHT NOW!! I'll let you guys know how it went in a few minutes!!
Nothing revolutionary, still pretty decent.
When I was little I used to call my grandma after pooping and we'd literally dance around the toilet while she sang how much better than perfume she tought my poop smells.
Nothing revolutionary, still pretty decent.
When I was little I used to call my grandma after pooping and we'd literally dance around the toilet while she sang how much better than perfume she tought my poop smells.
superegular
Member
gigapower said:
i found that to be very strange as well... =\
Great King Bowser
Property of Kaz Harai
I've surprised myself purely by volume on a number of occasions, clogging up the bog. Though that can be partially attributed to "damage control".
Black Deatha
Member
God this topic might be the stupidest (but funny) topic I have seen here yet, and where the hell is a pic of Conkers The Great Mighty Poo when you need one?
~Black Deatha
~Black Deatha
Senior Lurker
MS Informed
miyuru said:
Lol!! I don't want to derail this already-freaky topic. But there was one time I saw a piece of shit chillin' at a hallway in a respectable hotel!!!! Turned out some uncivilized kid did it or something. Disgusting. Shit! (I refuse to say where that was).
And oh, in a semi-related note, I saw a kid take a leak right beside the Tekken 4 arcade machine once in a MindBoggle arcade!!! The rest room was prolly a short walk away. WTF??
In celebration of this wacky topic, Poop Nice
And
I suck at MSPaint.
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