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Asian-GAF: We're all the same, like Stormtroopers |OT| |AT|
- Thread starter Cybit
- Start date
Warrior_Keoni
Member
Did you have a tiger mom growing up? I grew up on the east coast all my life, but tiger mom tried so hard to push me to only hang out with Asians for the younger part of my life. I traveled a similar path like yours, and also finished up a final paper on Asian-American identity.
Seductivpancakes
Member
It's ok. I always ask for a fork.. Like as a back up for when I'm less dexterous. lol
Dead Prince
Banned
Hi5. I go to JJ for pastries still. Also, my parents always used that on me-- take the best of both worlds, not the worst, but they seemed to blame me when I inevitably picked up the worst [who won't, right?]
Also... I'm that person at Asian restaurants that ask for a fork. .___. THE SHAME.
/stabs at ramen with fork
One I was trying to pick up something round and wet.. like a mushroom or something... and it fell into my tea as I was transferring it, and splashed everything. That was when I got a fork.
do you ketchup the ramen too?
ActStriker
Member
you can turn in your Asian card over there
Cow Mengde
Banned
GET OUT! We're disowning you!
Dead Prince
Banned
AlphaTwo00
Member
Y'all weird with the spaghetti and chopsticks, but the rest. Yeah.
I moved to Canada when I was 9 (in 92), and that's where the Canto-pop stopped for me. By the time I got to university, being chinese means one of two camps: a)hang out at karaoke bars, bubble tea, demand to speak as loudly as you can in the dialect of choice; or b)be in the "CBC" camp. I just couldn't do either.
InsaneZero
Member
Oh, I finally found another asian that sucks with chopsticks as much as I do!
HI FIVE
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Hi5. I go to JJ for pastries still
Also... I'm that person at Asian restaurants that ask for a fork. .___. THE SHAME.
/stabs at ramen with fork
One I was trying to pick up something round and wet.. like a mushroom or something... and it fell into my tea as I was transferring it, and splashed everything. That was when I got a fork.
Even I can use chopsticks
Warrior_Keoni
Member
What is it with Asian people trying to talk so loud? I never understood this. My bro's g/f's family sounds like they're constantly arguing with each other.
I suppose the upside of our experiences is that we defy expectations of others, right? I can honestly say that exactly zero people have truly pinned my personality down. Well, maybe one.
I use a fork for wings too! It's not as weird as using a knife and fork for pizza.
Dead Prince
Banned
Cow Mengde
Banned
Now that I think about it, even as a kid in China, I had no desire to "fit in." It's not like I was a rebel or anything. I just did what I felt like doing, and like what I liked. when I came to America, I didn't care to fit in either. It's not like I do it on purpose, I just didn't care. I still did and liked a lot of things that other people liked. In a strange way, my not giving a crap about fitting in still allowed me to fit in. I was never a recluse or anything like that. I still have a very healthy dose of Chinese culture running through me and it never effected me negatively.
Seductivpancakes
Member
Do you guys keep your middle finger between the chop sticks to help open and close when you grab the food or is it just me?
Septimus Prime
Member
I actually find that, of the ones who can use chopsticks, white people tend to be better at using chopsticks than many Asians around my age. I think the reason for this is because, as they are usually already adults when learning, white people immediately learn the proper way to hold and use them, where you rest one near your thumb and then use your index and middle finger to move the other one. As a child, what I learned was to hold both between my thumb and index finger and squeeze them together. It was an easier movement, I guess, but it made it impossible to pick up smaller items. I had to retrain myself on the proper way when I got older, but that was a personal choice, and no one taught me. I think a lot of Asians around my age still use chopsticks the child's way, since that's what they grew up with.
EDIT: For example, it looks like SRG01, DMPrince, and Seductivpancakes are all holding theirs the "kiddie" way.
This is what I understand is the "correct" way:
Held this way, the tips tilt toward each other and make it easy to pick up things like single rice grains, and the backs never cross each other.
EDIT: For example, it looks like SRG01, DMPrince, and Seductivpancakes are all holding theirs the "kiddie" way.
This is what I understand is the "correct" way:
Held this way, the tips tilt toward each other and make it easy to pick up things like single rice grains, and the backs never cross each other.
Dead Prince
Banned
I actually find that, of the ones who can use chopsticks, white people tend to be better at using chopsticks than many Asians around my age. I think the reason for this is because, as they are usually already adults when learning, white people immediately learn the proper way to hold and use them, where you rest one near your thumb and then use your index and middle finger to move the other one. As a child, what I learned was to hold both between my thumb and index finger and squeeze them together. It was an easier movement, I guess, but it made it impossible to pick up smaller items. I had to retrain myself on the proper way when I got older, but that was a personal choice, and no one taught me. I think a lot of Asians around my age still use chopsticks the child's way, since that's what they grew up with.
EDIT: For example, it looks like SRG01, DMPrince, and SeductivPancakes are all holding theirs the "kiddie" way.
This is what I understand is the "correct" way:
Held this way, the tips tilt toward each other and make it easy to pick up things like single rice grains, and the backs never cross each other.
you have chopsticks. i'm working with penis though.
unsure if fair.
Word?
Dead Prince
Banned
mightier.
AlphaTwo00
Member
I don't have chopsticks with me, so pardon the short reach:
Video:
https://mtc.cdn.vine.co/r/videos/B1C6C5C3B31170104404981276672_385688510df.1.5.10727820137600880969.mp4?versionId=racR7StZGdvk3m2udPeXRta8Sali5UxF
Your ring finger/pinky shouldn't move, and your index/middle would be the only pivot that moves the chopsticks.
Edit: I recall stories that my dad told me how he learned. My grandma would give him an egg to be cradled within the palm area while using the chopsticks, if he drops it, that's his dinner. I never got that, but I'm very confident that how I'm holding it now has no problems doing that.
Video:
https://mtc.cdn.vine.co/r/videos/B1C6C5C3B31170104404981276672_385688510df.1.5.10727820137600880969.mp4?versionId=racR7StZGdvk3m2udPeXRta8Sali5UxF
Your ring finger/pinky shouldn't move, and your index/middle would be the only pivot that moves the chopsticks.
Edit: I recall stories that my dad told me how he learned. My grandma would give him an egg to be cradled within the palm area while using the chopsticks, if he drops it, that's his dinner. I never got that, but I'm very confident that how I'm holding it now has no problems doing that.
Valkerionseven
Member
I gave up awhile ago trying to use them the "right way" as long as the food makes it into your mouth its the right way imo. Though I am surprised at how many people have completely different ways of using them... then subsequently tell others they are using them wrong haha.
Dead Prince
Banned
AlphaTwo00
Member
the only correct way is whatever lets you pick up a boiled egg without dropping or stabbing it. I know I can.
CapNBritain
Member
Wait, is Eric a Taiwanese name thing? Because...that is also my name and the name of one of the few other Taiwanese guys I know of. I should ask my parents about this because I assumed I was named after the viking.
Despite living in the US all my life, I've lately felt the pull of my heritage (mostly the food). It's weird being Americanized for 90% of my life and then slowly reabsorbing my culture. But I too, eat everything (including spaghetti) with chopsticks.
I also hold my chopsticks terribly. But when my family makes fun of me, I challenge them to a pick-stuff-up-off and usually hold my own.
YES you monster.
Jesus, you are me but from the wrong end of Cali. Weird lastname, even for among Taiwanese, grandparents fled China, grew up whitewashed, and went to Chinese school. 11 years in fact, but I've totally forgotten everything. I totally get the part about having the liberty to pick and choose the positive aspects of our culture. My own "culture" is basically a mish mash of everything I like in every culture I come across, orbiting the black hole of the nothingness that is middle-class American culture. I'm lucky that my wedding will basically be anything we want to throw in.
Dead Prince
Banned
the only correct way is whatever lets you pick up a boiled egg without dropping or stabbing it. I know I can.
hm. may try... with quail eggs.
CapNBritain
Member
the only correct way is whatever lets you pick up a boiled egg without dropping or stabbing it. I know I can.
I never stab out of pride. My fiancee always stabs because she has nothing to prove.
This applies generally to me, regarding the sense of being a product of both, but not really belonging to either. In my case, I don't think it's very balanced, either, and definitely skews much more western than Asian. But I haven't encountered any situations in which I feel like it's caused a rift or prevented me from engaging one side or the other.
I'm not sure how I would have answered ten or twenty years ago, but at this point and age, I would just describe my general identity as American, while Asian-American seems like something else altogether. In some ways I hyper-correct for what I think is the appropriate cultural expectation or etiquette, rather than some fusion of the two.
Like both:
Are utterly unacceptable. Spaghetti? Fork and spoon. Ramen? Chopsticks. No cultural exchange allowed.
I hold them this way, and move only the middle finger while the index finger keeps things in place.
Troubled Bat
Member
Holy shit.. We ChopsticksGAF now. xD
Warrior_Keoni
Member
On the topic of identity, do you prefer to date within your own culture or interracial?
For some reason I just can't find myself attracted to Asian women anymore compared to when I was a teenager.
For some reason I just can't find myself attracted to Asian women anymore compared to when I was a teenager.
I would prefer to date mixed people, being mixed myself - we'd have some shared experience and some funny stuff to joke about, don't really have a particular racial preference.
But in the end I don't discriminate. Unfortunately, most of Seattle is either Asian or white, so my choices are a bit limited.
Troubled Bat
Member
Interracial.
Random Fact: All the females that I've been with are Mexican/Hispanic. Only because that's always the opportunity that arises, not because I choose to.
CapNBritain
Member
I have always been attracted to Asian women, or women with Asian features like Latinas. I actually never even considered being interested in non-Asian girls though, because I didn't think they would be interested in me. I didn't even know I thought that way until a white girl pursued me.
I ended up with a Chinese woman, but she's Cantonese from San Francisco, so even though we're a typical Chinese couple on the surface, our upbringing was totally different.
Warrior_Keoni
Member
Thank you all for the responses. I should clarify that I'm near Washington DC so we get all sorts of wonderful people around this area.
I think the main reason for me not being attracted to other Asian women stem from younger years of having to deal with very superficial and materialistic relationships. I understand that not all Asian women are like this, but having gone on dates and having relationships in the last decade made me realize that it's been a big turnoff for me. I'm not sure why, but this is a dangerous precedent that I struggle to eventually overcome.
An example about 10 years ago: I dated a Chinese chick for about 9 months and finally met her family. I was still in college at this time, returning from working full-time and her mother grilled me with questions as to when we'll be married, have kids, house, etc. Things eventually didn't work out, and I knew that I wasn't ready to move on to these things in any way financially. I felt very uncomfortable and things eventually fell apart. Copy-paste this situation with the other ones down the road (except those relationships were longer) and you'll have an understanding on how I feel about dating Asians.
The above paragraph can easily make me look like a crappy person, but I've not really experienced anything positive. These early experiences can definitely shape a person and their outlook in life.
My parents are traditional and conservative with their idea of marrying only to your race. Again after 10 years of on/off relationships and being happily single for the time being, they are just happy if I can get out of the house to go out and not watch Netflix or play video games.
I don't particularly care about appearing PC to other folks in my family. My parents may still have their qualms about me dating women of other cultures, but they said, "Date who you want. Go be happy. We're getting old and don't really care anymore."
I think the main reason for me not being attracted to other Asian women stem from younger years of having to deal with very superficial and materialistic relationships. I understand that not all Asian women are like this, but having gone on dates and having relationships in the last decade made me realize that it's been a big turnoff for me. I'm not sure why, but this is a dangerous precedent that I struggle to eventually overcome.
An example about 10 years ago: I dated a Chinese chick for about 9 months and finally met her family. I was still in college at this time, returning from working full-time and her mother grilled me with questions as to when we'll be married, have kids, house, etc. Things eventually didn't work out, and I knew that I wasn't ready to move on to these things in any way financially. I felt very uncomfortable and things eventually fell apart. Copy-paste this situation with the other ones down the road (except those relationships were longer) and you'll have an understanding on how I feel about dating Asians.
The above paragraph can easily make me look like a crappy person, but I've not really experienced anything positive. These early experiences can definitely shape a person and their outlook in life.
My parents are traditional and conservative with their idea of marrying only to your race. Again after 10 years of on/off relationships and being happily single for the time being, they are just happy if I can get out of the house to go out and not watch Netflix or play video games.
I don't particularly care about appearing PC to other folks in my family. My parents may still have their qualms about me dating women of other cultures, but they said, "Date who you want. Go be happy. We're getting old and don't really care anymore."
Seductivpancakes
Member
When I was younger, I didn't want to date Asians because being Asian myself, I felt like there was nothing unique or new anyone can offer me.
Now that I'm older, I don't really think like that anymore. So I'm okay with dating within and outside of my race.
I was scummy too guy. No worries.
Now that I'm older, I don't really think like that anymore. So I'm okay with dating within and outside of my race.
I was scummy too guy. No worries.
CapNBritain
Member
Interesting. I've never dated a girl like that, although I know many who have. I know there is a stereotype of the Asian girl with crazy parents (Vietnamese), or being superficial/materialistic (Chinese), or just being plain crazy (Filipino/Korean), but I've never had the pleasure of dating such a person. I do go out of my way to stay away from drama though, so maybe I've just been lucky? Or unlucky, because I'm sure crazy can be fun when you're young.
I think almost every guy has been scummy at some point in their life. But there is so much diversity under the Asian umbrella that I'm surprised you thought there was nothing new or unique.
Dead Prince
Banned
i'm a racist when it comes to dating.
Oh yeah, my mom was super tiger mom. Though she completely mellowed out once I hit high school, and even apologized to me in college for it, saying that style of child-rearing was pretty much all she knew from her own childhood. Now we openly joke about how crazy she was when I was a kid. We both hate Amy Chua with a passion.
I think I had the benefit of not growing up in an Asian enclave city, but my mom would encourage me to hang out with the "smart kids", ie: Chinese kids.
Yeah, I feel you man. I'm curious as to what the culture of our kids' generation would look like, if they'd have the same identity issues.
I also wonder if I'd send my kids to Chinese school, despite hating it so much myself. I guess I probably would. Looking back, all those holiday plays, calligraphy/paper cutting/Chinese top-spining classes were pretty fun. I probably should have been more serious about learning the actual language.
CapNBritain
Member
One benefit of having my parents divorce is no tiger mom. Instead, I got buy me presents and take me to movies on the weekend mom.
I would never put my kids through Chinese school. I barely remember anything and missed out on Saturday morning cartoons.
I hope my kids have my experience, in that they pretty much have a homogenized American culture sprinkled with the awesome stuff of Chinese culture. And then when/if they're interested as an adult, they can learn more.
I date anyone who is kind, committed, and open-minded.
However, due to demographics, I end up dating mostly caucasian women. That, and most asian women in my area tend to go for caucasian men. My only long term relationship was with an asian woman though.
Oh speaking of relationships, I'm almost expecting my current pseudo-relationship to go south tomorrow. :/
Ha! I started out in weekend morning Chinese school, but no way could I keep missing out on the X-Men cartoon.
So being a stupid kid, I willingly took my parent's poison pill offer to switch to the horrible weekday Chinese school, Mon-Thurs 3:30-5:30PM.
Worth it. Phoenix saga was nuts.
CapNBritain
Member
My motto used to be that I would date anyone who would date me, which was a mistake.
If I knew how to avatar quote you, I would.
But that sucks. I hope you get back on your feet quickly.
Edit:
I'm pretty sure my namesake had a cameo during that. And yes, missed out on a lot of that stuff =(
MissDeviling
Member
I would definitely force my kids to go to Chinese school, as it's one of the biggest regrets my sister and I have for not studying seriously. It's important that they learn how to communicate with relatives, who mostly speak Cantonese only, and know how to read and write properly so they aren't only absorbing viewpoints and media from the West. I think being able to adequately read in another language broadens your horizons substantially. You just don't have as much time as an adult to dedicate to learning a new language. It's definitely possible, but learning languages is much easier when you're younger. I'm playing catch-up by learning Chinese characters while studying Japanese, but I honestly wish I didn't have to do this while worrying about university and job prospects.
Warrior_Keoni
Member
Troubled Bat
Member
You have to be hopeful! Being negative before things begin will only lead to the bad side on things. Be positive, so you won't have anything in back of your head affecting the area around you.
I am so sorry, but like Britain I hope you jump back soon!
Haha, thanks. We're going out for my birthday tomorrow, but I've been getting a weird feeling from her lately. That, and I'm getting tired of the continuous cancellations and whatnot. I mean, she appreciates my patience with her, but there's only so much I can take.
Also, I swear my fake-GAF avatar is not sad lol. It just turned out that way when I requested it last February.