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[reebok]

I always wondered if I was an undiagnosed case of Asperger's.

I did a lot of weird things, the most dramatic being these bizarre tics I used to engage in. I remember I had to squeeze my arms against my sides until it just "felt right". I would squeeze my forearms against my upper arms repetitively, sometimes for as long as 10 minutes, trying to get it to feel right so that I could stop. I used to squeeze my eyes shut very tightly until they "were even". I also remember I used to have to touch things in certain way, like if I touched the surface of something, I would have to touch the other side, and I would end up going back to the same object over and over again trying to make it even.

I had a lot of other problems but that sort of thing was probably the most outwardly apparent.
Unfortunately, my parents, for whatever reason, neglected me entirely in this area of raising me. I think they don't really trust mental health as a field in general.

When I look back, it's so apparent to me now that I was not a mentally healthy child. My sisters, both of whom are significantly older than me, tell me stories all the time of how terrible it was for me and how mad they used to get that everyone seemed to ignore the fact that to them I seemed to be damaged by neglect.

It's unfortunate for me because, whatever my problems were, they were never addressed, and things have compounded. Now I'm an adult and I just have layers and layers of issues. It really feels hopeless at times.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

Talk to your Doctor reebok, they can point you in the right direction.

Good luck and keep us posted if you'd like.

 

[Mistel]

I've seen one at my son's ABA session, along with nine other boys. It's one of those great mysteries.

I think the fragile X cause offered some explanation since boys only get one X chromosome. If it is genetically mutated in any way, that would make boys way more susceptible than girls who have a second X chromosome to potentially balance things out. And yet current research says that fragile X syndrome only accounts for a tiny percentage of all autism cases. That would lead me to believe that genetically the Y chromosome would be the likelier candidate here, but the bottom line is doctors and researchers just don't know.

If you look at only boys, we're nearing a 2% rate (1 in 54) of autism in the newborn and toddler population. That's...staggering.

It really is a mystery to me too, I just am surprised that I've met that I've not met another girl with it and I'm nearly an adult too.

2% of male toddlers with autism? Is that due to a better ability to diagnose them at a younger age or just a general increase in the population of those who have? I'm not trying to sound insensitive if it sounds like it.

 

[Goodlife]

OP. My mother specialised in the autistic spectrum for the last 15 or so years if her teaching career before retiring.
This was in the UK, but I'm sure the teaching principles are roughly the same, so if there is any questions or anything like that you might want another opinion on, just PM then across and I'll see what she says.

And good luck

 

[Tragicomedy]

It really is a mystery to me too, I just am surprised that I've met that I've not met another girl with it and I'm nearly an adult too.

2% of male toddlers with autism? Is that due to a better ability to diagnose them at a younger age or just a general increase in the population of those who have? I'm not trying to sound insensitive if it sounds like it.

That adds even more to the mystery. There's a lot of debate about whether or not there's an increased population, more diagnosis, over-diagnosis, what have you. I wish I knew the answer. It's just a shockingly high number.

 

[deadlast]

OP. My mother specialised in the autistic spectrum for the last 15 or so years if her teaching career before retiring.
This was in the UK, but I'm sure the teaching principles are roughly the same, so if there is any questions or anything like that you might want another opinion on, just PM then across and I'll see what she says.

And good luck

Thanks. I would rather keep the questions in here, because I feel that sharing advice helps everyone.

Here's something fun and new, my son has been chewing holes in his left sleeve. I don't know if he feels the need to chew or if he need to chew through something.

Anyways we ordered some chew stuff. I will keep you all posted.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

Apparently it's a banned source for news.

 

[Mistel]

Daily mail is a banned source for news.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

Okay then.

 

[deadlast]

CDC released the numbers. And they are high.

 

[Tragicomedy]

CDC released the numbers. And they are high.

CNN - 1/68 children in U.S diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder

Yep, an increase over the study from two years ago. 1/42 boys now. And the real figure is much, much higher, given under reporting in some states. Alabama says it has a 1/175 rate, which make no statistical sense whatsoever. States with better medical record keeping and diagnosis rates, like New Jersey (1/45) are probably closer to the truth.

Brings up back to the age old question: more cases, over diagnosing, or better diagnosis? I think it's option #3, but we really don't know.

 

[Mistel]

Brings up back to the age old question: more cases, over diagnosing, or better diagnosis? I think it's option #3, but we really don't know.

With better diagnosis hopefully it leads to better quality of life for everyone so that's a plus I think.

 

[The Adder]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's in middle school. I still say it was a misdiagnosis

 

[deadlast]

With better diagnosis hopefully it leads to better quality of life for everyone so that's a plus I think.

I want better awareness at the teen and preteen years. Those years are hard for everyone. Having autism only makes those years harder.

 

[Mistel]

I want better awareness at the teen and preteen years. Those years are hard for everyone. Having autism only makes those years harder.

I know I'm not sure how different my preteen years and my teens up until now would be with better awareness. I'd probably feel more comfortable though.

 

[unknownstranger]

I want better awareness at the teen and preteen years. Those years are hard for everyone. Having autism only makes those years harder.

Mhm. I don't remember having many more issues than anyone else until 5th grade (though going to the same school my mom taught at didn't help). 5th and 6th grade I struggled a bit more with but still mostly got through them fine. 7th and especially 8th grade is when I started struggling massively. Eventually things happened late in 8th grade that spiked things and halfway through 9th grade I had to drop out and start doing classes online because of how uncomfortable I felt being around so many people that I couldn't focus in class and got tremors in my hands so bad that I couldn't write.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's in middle school. I still say it was a misdiagnosis

Explain thyself, outsider.

 

[The Adder]

Explain thyself, outsider.

I believe it was either a misdiagnosis or it's an amazingly mild case. The school I went to had been trying to file me out of the way for the longest time, and pretty much did it in response to the fact that I was being frequently bullied and didn't ever put up with it.

They took the most superficial things and used them to justify my reassignment. You don't have a lot of friends (ignoring the fact that I was extremely close to the friends I did have and the reason I was lacking friends was because I was constantly picked on). You react badly to the fire alarm (and by react badly they meant I covered my ears because walking down stairs meant we crossed right in front of an alarm source). He's constantly talking about games (because that's what I wanted to make my profession, they also ignored the fact that I didn't as a habit monopolize conversation or fail to realize when others would like to change the subject, or bust into conversations in which I wasn't involved.)

These are the same people, by the way, who took me out of my regular English class (my best class and I was one of the better performing students in that class) and put me in remedial English because I mentioned I was having trouble writing fast enough to keep up with the note taking in my civics class (I majored in English in College, FYI). They also removed me from Spanish (another class I was doing quite well in) to put me in Basic Skills. I was a problem for the administration because I would fight back when people would bully me and my parents didn't knuckle under to them either. So they got me out of the way in the easiest way they knew how.

I navigate social interactions deftly, and I, in fact, relish the opportunity to do so. I'm self-confident (on most days). One of the first things people who know me will note about me is my empathy. On the physical end, I'm well coordinated and I ace tests of spacial-awareness.

And this isn't a matter of my parents insisting that those who diagnosed me were wrong. My mom went right along with it, which is why I was in a basic skills class up until (but not including) my junior year in high school. I simply never believed it was correct. And the older I get, the less I find myself fitting the profile, the more people I meet in my day-to-day social interactions who have also been diagnosed, the less I believe it was an accurate diagnosis.

 

[unknownstranger]

^I get where that comes from. In my first year of high school, the school tried to push me in that direction, but both my parents and I pushed against it and got me in normal classes the half days I went (long story).

 

[poppabk]

It really is a mystery to me too, I just am surprised that I've met that I've not met another girl with it and I'm nearly an adult too.

2% of male toddlers with autism? Is that due to a better ability to diagnose them at a younger age or just a general increase in the population of those who have? I'm not trying to sound insensitive if it sounds like it.

I think part of it is over diagnosis. Their is a distinct advantage to having an autism diagnosis versus development delay in getting help from the authorities. My son has a speech delay and we were initially declined home visits for speech therapy due to a lack of funding. An autism diagnosis would have allowed us to get home visits. Fortunately more funding became available but I can understand people in this situation pushing for an autism diagnosis and being able to get it. I guess the interesting statistic would be how many children diagnosed with autism don't meet the criteria in later life.

 

[deadlast]

I think part of it is over diagnosis. Their is a distinct advantage to having an autism diagnosis versus development delay in getting help from the authorities. My son has a speech delay and we were initially declined home visits for speech therapy due to a lack of funding. An autism diagnosis would have allowed us to get home visits. Fortunately more funding became available but I can understand people in this situation pushing for an autism diagnosis and being able to get it. I guess the interesting statistic would be how many children diagnosed with autism don't meet the criteria in later life.

I don't know about other parents, but we didn't want to believe our son was autistic when his teacher pointed it out. We started recording his behaviors and how he interacted with the world around him. And once we were 100% we scrambled to have him observed by a professional. Not just 1, but 2 different facilities identified our son as being on the spectrum.

 

[Flying Toaster]

NPR said yesterday that the govermnet changed the number of Autistic children in America from 1 in 88 to 1 in 68. That is a huge amount, forgive my ignorance but why do we not do more research in this area of health as it seems to impact people greatly.

 

[The Adder]

^I get where that comes from. In my first year of high school, the school tried to push me in that direction, but both my parents and I pushed against it and got me in normal classes the half days I went (long story).

I find myself resentful of everything that went on in that middle school. I met some good people and did some good things as a result of it, but I can't help wondering what if I'd gone somewhere better.

 

[deadlast]

NPR said yesterday that the govermnet changed the number of Autistic children in America from 1 in 88 to 1 in 68. That is a huge amount, forgive my ignorance but why do we not do more research in this area of health as it seems to impact people greatly.

The amount of research that is occurring today actually amazing. Years ago people didn't have autism on their radar at all. At one point Drs believe it was the mother's emotional connection with her child that caused it.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

I believe it was either a misdiagnosis or it's an amazingly mild case. The school I went to had been trying to file me out of the way for the longest time, and pretty much did it in response to the fact that I was being frequently bullied and didn't ever put up with it.

They took the most superficial things and used them to justify my reassignment. You don't have a lot of friends (ignoring the fact that I was extremely close to the friends I did have and the reason I was lacking friends was because I was constantly picked on). You react badly to the fire alarm (and by react badly they meant I covered my ears because walking down stairs meant we crossed right in front of an alarm source). He's constantly talking about games (because that's what I wanted to make my profession, they also ignored the fact that I didn't as a habit monopolize conversation or fail to realize when others would like to change the subject, or bust into conversations in which I wasn't involved.)

These are the same people, by the way, who took me out of my regular English class (my best class and I was one of the better performing students in that class) and put me in remedial English because I mentioned I was having trouble writing fast enough to keep up with the note taking in my civics class (I majored in English in College, FYI). They also removed me from Spanish (another class I was doing quite well in) to put me in Basic Skills. I was a problem for the administration because I would fight back when people would bully me and my parents didn't knuckle under to them either. So they got me out of the way in the easiest way they knew how.

I navigate social interactions deftly, and I, in fact, relish the opportunity to do so. I'm self-confident (on most days). One of the first things people who know me will note about me is my empathy. On the physical end, I'm well coordinated and I ace tests of spacial-awareness.

And this isn't a matter of my parents insisting that those who diagnosed me were wrong. My mom went right along with it, which is why I was in a basic skills class up until (but not including) my junior year in high school. I simply never believed it was correct. And the older I get, the less I find myself fitting the profile, the more people I meet in my day-to-day social interactions who have also been diagnosed, the less I believe it was an accurate diagnosis.

They were that specific?

 

[The Adder]

They were that specific?

In regards to which part? Those were the things they said lead them to their diagnosis.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

In regards to which part? Those were the things they said lead them to their diagnosis.

Those are bullshit diags.

 

[The Adder]

Those are bullshit diags.

I don't disagree.

 

[deadlast]

I don't disagree.

You know if you are in an area that is doing autism research for your age group, they will test you and verify that diagnosis. The best part is they will pay you for your time and confirm if you were diagnosed correctly.

 

[Mistel]

I think part of it is over diagnosis. Their is a distinct advantage to having an autism diagnosis versus development delay in getting help from the authorities. My son has a speech delay and we were initially declined home visits for speech therapy due to a lack of funding. An autism diagnosis would have allowed us to get home visits. Fortunately more funding became available but I can understand people in this situation pushing for an autism diagnosis and being able to get it. I guess the interesting statistic would be how many children diagnosed with autism don't meet the criteria in later life.

I can't comment on the younger age thing as I was diagnosed far later really and this is based of off males with autism too. I'm not sure how my autism will present itself in later life as it's just kinda there as is.

 

[deadlast]

It's world autism awareness day. It's kind of hard get the word out the day before, when that day is April Fools day.

 

[Internet Celebrity]

I don't have much to contribute and I haven't encountered autism in the same proximity as most people here, but nonetheless I'm really glad I've read through this thread. One of my close friends has asperger's and reading through the resources and anecdotes in here (some of which are really very moving) has been pretty helpful in informing me in how to be more sensitive with her.

 

[Mistel]

One of my close friends has asperger's and reading through the resources and anecdotes in here (some of which are really very moving) has been pretty helpful in informing me in how to be more sensitive with her.

One big thing I think is really hard is the meltdowns when I'm really upset or get in a mood. I'm quite sort of temperamental and feisty so it's quite a change sometimes between that and normal. So when I do get like that I really have to be either left alone to calm down.

But it's nice that you've found something that might help with sensitivity towards her.

 

[aett]

My three-year-old started climbing out of his crib and sneaking into the living room (bursting into giggles when he saw my wife or me), so to prevent him from accidentally hurting himself by falling, we removed the front bars from the crib to convert it to a "big kid's" bed.

First, the good news: when he gets tired, he climbs into bed and so far (a few nights now) he stays asleep.

The bad news: it's been taking him a good 90+ minutes to get to that point. We go through his typical nightly routine, then we put him into bed, and as soon as we leave the room he gets up and starts playing with toys, or he runs out of his room, laughing. We had to move some furniture around so he couldn't reach the light switch, but he still succeeded in turning it on - getting his arm painfully caught between the object and the wall. He hasn't tried again, but who knows what he'll try next. If I'm not actively sitting in the hallway, which is something I don't want to do for over an hour, he'll sneak out of his room to turn on the hall light so he can keep playing in his room. And so on.

He used to fall asleep in the crib in 15-20 minutes. Now that he's up a lot later, he's been falling asleep in his ABA and OT sessions this week. And I mean he's out COLD.

Anyone got any advice? We have no way to punish him - he has no concept of the future, so we can't say "no TV tomorrow" or whatever. It doesn't matter if we take away a toy or two, because his room is filled with them (THANKS GRANDMA!).

 

[deadlast]

My three-year-old started climbing out of his crib and sneaking into the living room (bursting into giggles when he saw my wife or me), so to prevent him from accidentally hurting himself by falling, we removed the front bars from the crib to convert it to a "big kid's" bed.

First, the good news: when he gets tired, he climbs into bed and so far (a few nights now) he stays asleep.

The bad news: it's been taking him a good 90+ minutes to get to that point. We go through his typical nightly routine, then we put him into bed, and as soon as we leave the room he gets up and starts playing with toys, or he runs out of his ...

He used to fall asleep in the crib in 15-20 minutes. Now that he's up a lot later, he's been falling asleep in his ABA and OT sessions this week. And I mean he's out COLD.

Anyone got any advice? We have no way to punish him - he has no concept of the future, so we can't say "no TV tomorrow" or whatever. It doesn't matter if we take away a toy or two, because his room is filled with them (THANKS GRANDMA!).

That sounds familiar.

Melatonin + child guard on door handle. Then when he figures out the handle turn the lock around ( if you get out of bed, I will lock you in.) these are immediate things you do.
For the light, we turn it off at the pull switch on the fan.

We also allow our son to have his leap pad at bedtime. He usually watches an episode of go Diego go, while he drifts off.

 

[Tragicomedy]

I guess we were fortunate in that our son transitioned quite easily to his "big boy bed," but that is an area that several of our friends' kids struggled with (spectrum or not).

Is your son still taking a nap during the day? I ask because my son would nap once in the afternoon, then spend at least 30 minutes to an hour every night talking and singing to himself in his bed. He stayed in bed so it was never a behavior we considered trying to alter, but it wasn't surprising to have him lay in the dark and sing himself to sleep.

His new schedule no longer allows for an afternoon nap. He struggled for a week or two to adjust to less sleep, before eventually adapting to it. Part of that adaptation is that he no longer stays awake in his bed at night. We do our usual routine (reading, bath, singing, recounting the events of our day, and then tucking him in) and he's asleep within a few minutes.

Long story short: Maybe your kid just isn't super tired at that point in the evening? It's obviously impacting him the following day since he's dozing off when he shouldn't, but is something getting him wired up prior to bed? Is a lengthy afternoon nap interfering with his nighttime sleep schedule?

-----

:edit for deadlast's response:

1) I would avoid going the melatonin route until you've exhausted other avenues. Bear in mind that we're basically avoiding any forms of medication right now with our son (prescription or OTC), so keep that bias in mind. His case seems a lot less severe than many of his peers, but therapy and intervention are proving very successful as is. The latest figures show a huge portion of kids on the spectrum are taking various meds (way more serious stuff than melatonin) at very young ages. We don't know the long term effects of these meds, particularly when they're being given to two year old kids. Regarding melatonin specifically, I've used it in my military career and it caused some very interesting and vivid dreams, but I didn't suffer any other side effects.

2) Letting your son stare at a backlit screen while trying to get him to fall asleep will likely be counterproductive. Scientific research says it will actually trick your brain into thinking it's still daylight outside and completely jack up your natural melatonin production cycle. So I wouldn't advise giving your son a melatonin supplement and them immediately turn around and hand him a device that messes with his melatonin production.

Once again, bear in mind that we have never had any significant sleep issues with our son. We're super lucky in that regard, since that seems to be a common theme for a portion of kids on the spectrum. I'm not judging anything a parent has to do to get their kid to sleep. I would just test out other avenues before implementing some of these suggestions.

 

[deadlast]

I need to add that we have a strict bed time for our kids. We put our kids to bed before 730, because they are all early risers. We have tried later bedtimes, but it doesn't seem to help.

 

[Tragicomedy]

I need to add that we have a strict bed time for our kids. We put our kids to bed before 730, because they are all early risers. We have tried later bedtimes, but it doesn't seem to help.

Heh, sounds like my son. We put him to bed at 2000 and he's up at 0630. If he's super tired and we put him to bed at 1930...he's up at 0630.

He's our human alarm clock.

 

[Mr. Luchador]

In my real job I sometimes work with children who have Autism, and it's not something we've been trained on or given much guidance with. Where I live too they're very keen on inclusion in our school system for children with all ranges of abilities (which I totally agree with). So the first few times I met a child with autism I just thought it was a stubborn kid, due to my total ignorance.

However, once you realise, or ask a parent/guardian or teacher you can slow start to get a small understanding of why they seem so disinterested with what you're trying to do.

I have to admit the most rewarding experience I've had with my work so far is getting 1 child out of an entire class engaged in his Physical Education lessons over the course of 12 weeks. At first they had no interest, but slowly they started to take part by themselves just doing their own thing, and finally started to take part with the rest of the class.
This one kid didn't seem to respond to much at all, but I slowly started to realise that they responded better to different tone of voice (no idea if this is a common thing) rather than facial expression. Visual demonstrations were huge, as were just letting the kid do their own thing with no pressure. Basically... just like any other kid in the class! Without a doubt they had the best forward roll in the entire class though!

Looking back, I think it was just a feeling out process between the child and a stranger trying to tell them to do something new. I'll be reading this thread a lot from now on, as it's something I NEED to gain a better understanding and appreciation for.
When you talk to teachers they don't get ANY real training on how to specialise for Autism in their mainstream classes, which I find very odd (and feel for the teachers as they really do want to do their best for every child).

 

[aett]

Thanks for the advice!

First of all, reading all of this made me realize that the light switch is connected to a lamp and not to a ceiling light (a total facepalm moment for me), so I'm just going to turn the lamp off when he's not around to see me do it.

As far as melatonin goes... that'll be a last resort, I think. I'm glad that there is an option like that, and personally I would go for it, but I know my wife will be against trying it before other options.

re: naps: He stopped taking them a couple of months ago, when he started his current preschool schedule. We used to try to make him take them, but he'd just stay wide awake. Of course, this means that sometimes he falls asleep in the car... and he is driven home every evening at around 5:45, and even though it's only a ten minute drive, he's fallen asleep a lot and he'll often stay asleep until after 7. Back when he was in the crib, this wasn't a big deal - he'd stay awake in the crib for a little longer but that didn't matter, because we could still do other things that didn't involve guarding his room like a prison. In the last week or two, he's gotten better at staying awake on that drive home. Since the new bed the other day, he's been falling asleep on the bus ride home from preschool at 1:30, but not for very long.

Honestly, this whole deal with him staying up so much later is weird because he's been falling asleep SO much faster since he started school (and stopping taking most of his naps). In the past, we would even have to remain totally quiet as he fell asleep or it'd keep him awake and possibly upset him, but in the recent months we've even been able to catch up on our TV shows while he fell asleep.

Right now, story time is at 8:00 and we put him in bed at 8:20. I suggested pushing that up to 7:30 or earlier since he's goofing off for so long now, but my wife nixed that immediately because she feels that (as a working mom) she doesn't get enough time to spend with him as it is.

 

[deadlast]

Aett: I was thinking that maybe his issue is this is a big life change for him. Moving from a crib to a big boy bed is a big deal. And that may be causing him to act out and to goof off at night.

If that is what is happening, then this should all pass in a matter of time.

 

[jstripes]

I have an 18 year old step-son with heavy Aspergers (mixed with Tourettes), and he's becoming really difficult to deal with lately. Emotionally and developmentally, he's like 8 years old. (I'm 35, and his mom is 37.)

Most of his life he'd been coddled, with very little done to correct his outbursts or misbehaviour. His grandmother, whose house he lived in for a while, was very adamant about "all he needs is love" and "just let him be himself", so whenever you try to ask or tell him not to do something he takes it as a direct, personal insult. Something as simple as "you forgot to turn off the light in your room" is enough to spark anger. Sometimes he'll use "I can't help it" as a convenient excuse for bad behaviour that he is obviously in control of. He also thrives on pity.

He takes everything personally, like when the wrong movie wins an award on an awards show, or if someone online makes a negative review of something he likes. For example, the wrong person won "Best Villain" on the MTV Movie Awards a couple of weeks ago, and he went on an angry tirade in front of us, about the whole thing "being rigged" because the guy he voted for didn't win, for like 10 minutes, and we just couldn't talk him down out of it, as he got angrier and angrier. Ignoring him in these cases doesn't even work, because he'll just go into his room and punch and yell at the walls.

He also doesn't understand why he makes people uncomfortable, but he's like 6'2" and 250 lbs, isn't all that good at presenting himself, and walks around angrily muttering to himself and gesturing with his hands. He also loves making jokes based around toilet humour or death, but just doesn't get it, no matter how many times his jokes fall flat with uncomfortable silence, that most other people don't enjoy those jokes.

He's on meds, and sees a therapist, but that can only do so much. It can be exhausting dealing with him. Earlier I had to remind him that cereal is for breakfast (for the second time this week) and he got upset, and right now he's in his room watching YouTube videos with crazy shit going on (YouTube Poop, or whatever), while he loudly chortles. You can just feel his presence whenever he's home, because he's always watching something noisy (you can ask him to turn it down, but he'll turn it right back up), making noises, or muttering to himself.

Things weren't this bad when I met his mom years ago, it gradually got to this point. It's simple for her, because he's her kid and they have an unbreakable emotional bond, but with us I'm the step-dad so there's that natural friction.

I'm currently between jobs right now, so I'm home doing the cooking and cleaning while she's at work, so I have to deal with this constantly. It's stressing me out, and there's not much I can do about it.

/needed to unload

 

[deadlast]

Jsrtipes - your situation sounds amazingly trying. I try not to coddle my son, because I know that will make life difficult in the future.


So tonight we're painting our son's bed. This could be interesting

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

I have an 18 year old step-son with heavy Aspergers (mixed with Tourettes), and he's becoming really difficult to deal with lately.

I'm amazingly sorry. This is why I'm pro-cure (or to be more practical, pro-med), so shit like this doesn't end up happening and screws up someone's life and the lives around them.

I don't mean that in a negative way. I just feel sorry for these people with co-morbids (other disorders). Talk about lumping on the social ticks.

His grandmother, whose house he lived in for a while, was very adamant about "all he needs is love" and "just let him be himself"

No offense, but your gran doesn't seem like she knew he had any disorders.

Sometimes he'll use "I can't help it" as a convenient excuse for bad behaviour that he is obviously in control of. He also thrives on pity.

This automatically invalidates any of the initial thoughts I had.

What you need to do is find out if he actually thinks his AS and TS keep him from being "normal", or if he feels like it is futile to even try to help himself.

Both are very different concepts that need to be addressed very differently.

He's simply just an asshole.

And honestly, I was, too, until I found out why I thought the way I did. He just seems to thrive on being one.

 

[deadlast]

Anyone have any knowledge about the Raleigh NC area, with regards to autism. We are probably going to move there soon. My son is high functioning but still needs a lot of intervention and help. So we need to know more about any IEP issues and programs.

Any help is appreciated.

 

[jstripes]

No offense, but your gran doesn't seem like she knew he had any disorders.

She knew, but she didn't believe in medication.

What you need to do is find out if he actually thinks his AS and TS keep him from being "normal", or if he feels like it is futile to even try to help himself.

Both are very different concepts that need to be addressed very differently.

I think it's both. I think he thinks he can't be normal, so it's futile to try. Path of least resistance, or whatever.

He's simply just an asshole.

And honestly, I was, too, until I found out why I thought the way I did. He just seems to thrive on being one.

Well, he's not an asshole, he jut sorta lives in his own little world where his impression on others is an afterthought. Assholes tend to enjoy being assholes, but he doesn't actually like upsetting people. His "thriving" is more of a symptom of him using excuses to avoid responsibility for his behaviour.

Like when he's playing his YouTube videos loudly despite repeatedly being asked not to. He knows he shouldn't, but he just hopes we don't notice. When we ask him to turn it down, he brings out his classic line "It slipped!" or "Come on! How did you even hear that?" (You can hear it all through the apartment.)


Anyway, he's pretty functional. He knows how to use the transit system and goes out on his own for hours at a time. Either to browse toy stores (he's a collector bordering on hoarder, he has like 1000 action figures and Transformers... he was pretty spoiled until I reined it in), or to occasionally hang out with his... Brony group.

But he has zero interest in getting a job unless it's something he specifically likes. He wants to be a toy designer right now, which is quite a long shot, especially since he hates school and protests and shuts down whenever they try to get him to do schoolwork. He's currently in a school-based co-op position at a food bank, but he only does that for an hour a day.

Oh, he's also very calendar based. Everything has to be known ahead of time. Not knowing makes him very uncomfortable, even if it's something as simple as next week's guest on SNL. (He doesn't even watch SNL, but he always comes into the room to find out who next week's guest is when it's announced.) When there's a big event like a comic convention or big garage sale coming up, he spends the week or two ahead of it pacing around and acting more agitated than usual. And for events like his birthday or Christmas, if his anticipation is ruined by something like getting a present he doesn't like (even if he got a bunch he did like), he puts on a big dramatic show and the event is "ruined".

I wish I could help him, but everything I say to him falls on deaf ears. He just stands there and thinks about how I'm "judging him" while my words go in one ear and out the other.

 

[DrMcNulty]

Hey all, I just wanted to update you regarding my younger son. We just had his formal evaluation by ST/OT and neurology (my epileptic older son's neurologist). Overall, we are relieved by the news. They did not diagnose him with autism, but instead with developmental verbal and (mild) motor apraxia. He's going to need pretty aggressive speech and occupational therapy, but the prognosis is quite good. They were very happy that we had him evaluated at such a young age (he will be 3 in early June).

Right now, he is continuing in the local Birth to 3 program for speech therapy, but the truth is, it isn't aggressive enough. We are going to start private therapy soon and hope to really jumpstart his development. The local school system is also evaluating him, so we are also covered on an educational front. Actually, we are already starting to see some improvement, and it's very encouraging. He's repeating more words, and is starting to say things on his own, although the words are sometimes not clear. We have our work cut out for us, but it does give us great relief to have a grasp on what's going on.

 

[jstripes]

One more bit. Sorry about this. No one to vent to about it.

He considers himself a "pop culture expert", although it's mostly restrained to geek culture. He knows every He-Man and Marvel character, amongst many other universes. He knows the exact year movies and TV shows debuted, and who acted in them or voiced them. He's very pedantic about it, too. Actual pop culture he's clueless about. He doesn't care anything about music, unless a song was included in a movie soundtrack or trailer, in which case it's validated for him.

All this knowledge can make watching movies or TV with him trying, because he's compelled to point out every reference or "easter egg" he sees.

Also, things have to be exactly in line with what he likes, or he won't watch it. His sister and I love the show Community, and he thought it was dumb. But, he watch the animated episodes of it, even though it was the same humour. I think he's only watching Cosmos because it has animated segments, too. (But for some odd reason, he loves watching Dr. Phil and Honey Boo Boo.)

But this inflexibility causes him problems. He went to this Autism support group for a while, and for the last meeting they decided to watch a movie. The group chose The Hunger Games, and that upset him because he didn't like it, so he sat alone in another room while they watched it and then complained that he "wasn't included".

I tried to explain to him that "being included" means making compromises, like how I go do things with his mom that I don't care for at all, but he just didn't get it. He still doesn't get it. We'll go do stuff as a family, he'll choose to stay home because he's not interested, and then he'll complain about being left out. Then he'll suggest, for example, that the next family vacation should be to San Diego Comic-Con, and won't understand why when his mom and sister say "no", thinking they're just dismissing it because it's "his" idea.

People should like the things he likes. People should get the jokes he makes. People should do the things he wants to do.

But it doesn't work that way, and he can't accept it.

(It's like I described the perfect gaming-side gaffer here.)

That's enough typing. :/

 

[MAD Polo]

Right now, he is continuing in the local Birth to 3 program for speech therapy, but the truth is, it isn't aggressive enough. We are going to start private therapy soon and hope to really jumpstart his development. The local school system is also evaluating him, so we are also covered on an educational front. Actually, we are already starting to see some improvement, and it's very encouraging. He's repeating more words, and is starting to say things on his own, although the words are sometimes not clear. We have our work cut out for us, but it does give us great relief to have a grasp on what's going on.

We did the private speech therapy with my son. At the time, the state of Florida barely provided any worthwhile help for autistic/spectrum kids, so we had no choice really. The high price of private speech therapy cost me and my wife our savings, credit cards, etc. and we had to end up filing bankruptcy, but I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to. Combined with ABA therapy, he made a complete turn for the better and today at 9yrs old, you would never know that he was diagnosed with Aspergers at 3 years old outside of some quarks he has.

Good luck to you and your family. It really is amazing when that turn around happens and you realize all the effort on his part and you guys part has paid off!

 

[Tragicomedy]

Chimes for Autism

Amazing kid and heartwarming video. My son hasn't developed any singular focuses like this yet, but I eagerly look forward to seeing what ends up fascinating him.

We ordered our chime this evening.