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Barge-Size Noah’s Ark Is a Creationist’s Wet Dream

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B

Breads

Banned
Aiustis said:
If it makes people feel better, the project failed to bring in the promised revenue to help the community.
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It really doesn't.

We want GOP/ Christian supporters to finally realize how full of shit these people are. That's when we will be happy. People from communities like this do indeed have more to gain from our policies than people like me do, who are largely unaffected by this kind of stupidity.
 
L

Lucky Forward

Member
Six more construction phases...or possibly nine:

Watch out, Orlando, the Ark Encounter in Kentucky has a diner and a petting zoo

Last week, the Orlando Sentinel ran a guest column that was seemingly a poorly veiled ad by C. Britt Beemer, a column blaming support for the LGBT community for Disney's lower attendance.

And while his entire column is filled with terrible falsehoods, let's set aside his idea that Christians may stop coming to Orlando because it's too gay and filled with rainbows, and instead visit the Ark Encounter in Kentucky, to which he compared Disney (favorably).
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Currently, the Ark Encounter is little more than a museum of fictional science, a petting zoo and a diner, but as Beemer mentioned in his guest column, more is to come. He says that an upcoming phase will add rides, including roller coasters, but on the Answers in Genesis website it clearly states, “the Ark Encounter is not like Disney World, King’s Island, Universal Studios, etc. There will be no roller coasters, for example, and no other kinds of 'thrill' rides.”

Beemer mentions six more construction phases, in fact, while the Ark Encounter website mentions nine – including an aviary, a first-century village, a walled city, a special effects attraction known as the “Journey Through History” and a “100-foot-tall themed building with exhibits and a 500-seat 5-D special effects theater.”
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H

heyf00L

Member
Beren the Empty-Handed said:
The answer is just "God works in mysterious ways." AKA I don't know just believe it anyways.

Or else it's a metaphor. For what, I'm not sure.
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Genesis is trying to explain the condition of humanity and the nature of their relationship to God. So it starts with Adam and Eve in a garden paradise, a place with only 1 rule. They break that rule and lose paradise, but God promises to fix it.

The point of the Noah story is that people are evil (Gen 6:5 "The Lord saw that the wickedness of humankind was great in the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of their hearts was only evil continually.") But what if God took the best human alive, got rid of everyone else, and started over?

Then Genesis 8 and 9 are essentially a retelling of Genesis 1 and 2. For example:

Gen 1:2 a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.
Gen 8:1 And God made a wind blow over the earth, and the waters subsided;

Gen 1:28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.”
Gen 9:1 God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.”

So we have a new Creation story. So how does Noah do? In Gen 9:20-21 he plants a garden (like Adam was in a garden), drinks wine (like Adam ate the fruit), and gets naked (like Adam). So, the point is: problem NOT solved. Humans still suck.
 
G

g11

Member
HStallion said:
Figure this was worth a bump:

Ark Encounter Founder Announces Permanent Rainbow Lighting on Facility

Ken Ham really wants to take the rainbow back lol
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pile_of_shit.gif
 
L

LCGeek

formerly sane
Izuna said:
Man the Bible had a dude NAMING all the animals in the Garden of Eden. I'm sorry but, whoever is Christian and thinks Scientology is loony is a hypocrite.
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They both believe in space opera level shit, new Jerusalem borg cube ftw.
 
F

Frozenprince

Banned
If they really wanted to save their town and get consistent foot traffic, what they should have built is a scale model replica of the USS Enterprise.

Trek nerd money never dries up.
 
Charles Brandon

Charles Brandon

Member
So the land based animals and birds get all this shite off the almighty but the fish get rewarded? What did a fucking fish ever do that dodo didn't?
 
A

Abstrusity

Member
Made mostly of wood, eh?

Gee, I hope it's treated. It would be a shame if the rains, the heat, and the lightning caused massive amounts of damage to it.
 
H

HStallion

Now what's the next step in your master plan?
Abstrusity said:
Made mostly of wood, eh?

Gee, I hope it's treated. It would be a shame if the rains, the heat, and the lightning caused massive amounts of damage to it.
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I was actually hoping for a flood to occur and cause serious damage to the structure. Now that would be some good irony.
 
P

Preezy

Member
"Just finished putting a fresh coat of varnish on the Ark"

*lightning strikes, cuasing it to go up in flames*

"God y u do dis?"
 
O

OraleeWey

Member
HStallion said:
I was actually hoping for a flood to occur and cause serious damage to the structure. Now that would be some good irony.
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I don't know about you but I want to be inside that thing when global warming floods USA and my only chance if survival is in that boat with all other creationists.

/s
 
D

Devilinthiscity

Member
They built it to the specs that were in the Bible? Funny how they didn't decide to build it with the tools available at the time to further prove their point. Lol, 18 million down the drain.
 
poppabk

poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
Grimm Fandango said:
Rainbow actually looks cool but then you still have the dude's ignorant ass comments.
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Actually I like the fact that the rainbow is a sign of a promise from god that he wont massacre us with a flood ever again. Next time he will burn everyone alive.
 
S

shandy706

Member
They stuck dinosaurs on there.

LOL

"They all died in the flood.......but they're on our ark."

As someone that grew up in the Church, had a father that was a pastor, and who has studied a lot of religion in their life (not limited to Christianity)...

..I'd like to say these people are absolute idiots.
 
JimiNutz

JimiNutz

Banned
I want an Adam and Eve 'Eden' Park where I can roam around naked, murder my brother and then fuck my mother and our offspring.
 
B

boiled goose

good with gravy
ginger ninja said:
I have no qualms with free citizens do with their money. They can use it to build a giant ark or use it to install a giant Dildo in a public park. Free country y'all. The tax break thing is a little tricky however.

As a mostly non-religious person, gaf's boner to pile on religious folks is always a bit embarrassing.
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Because believing ancient myths as fact has no real world consequences.

From justifying slavery.
To flying planes into buildings.
From refusing medical treatment for children.
To blocking reproductive rights.
From denying marriage equality.
To holding back medical science.
From compromising education.
To promoting war in the middle east.
From dividing families.
To miseducation about stds.

Yeah. No consequences.

BlackGoku03 said:
Yeah... this is crazy. I say this as a Christian. Creationists are just plain crazy.
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They are. And yet theologically, they are in more consistent standing than non creationists. But shrug.
 
T

TheSecondSpitter

Member
Dash_Riprock said:
$100 million.

Imagine all the starving homeless and poor that could have fed.

But nope, gotta fight the losing creationist fight.
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I know approximately half of GAF gets a massive erection from extremist atheist comments like these, but the same can be said about 3/4 of the inane shit that gets discussed on this forum, Star Wars, Apple, NFL, Nintendo, US Military, etc.

Oh, but they're Christians so it's okay to bash them.
 
H

HStallion

Now what's the next step in your master plan?
TheSecondSpitter said:
I know approximately half of GAF gets a massive erection from extremist atheist comments like these, but the same can be said about 3/4 of the inane shit that gets discussed on this forum, Star Wars, Apple, NFL, Nintendo, US Military, etc.

Oh, but they're Christians so it's okay to bash them.
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They're Christian in name only. Ken Ham is a giant piece of shit Jesus would not tolerate.
 
T

TheOctodad

Member
HStallion said:
Figure this was worth a bump:

Ark Encounter Founder Announces Permanent Rainbow Lighting on Facility

Ken Ham really wants to take the rainbow back lol
Click to expand...

What's funny is there's a scholarly debate that the "rainbow" in the the story could also be interpreted as "bow" which was a symbol of war/peace offering.

I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.
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Some scholars argue that this is essentially the God character saying, "I'm hanging up the my weapons. There will now be peace between God/Man."

So the whole rainbow thing might not have even been intended in the mythology of this story.

Still. Everyone should tweet this out during pride with text overlaying saying "Happy Pride." Seriously, this is just begging for a "fake news" story.

636180890659566382-ark-rainbow-lights.jpg
 
H

HStallion

Now what's the next step in your master plan?
ginger ninja said:
Well, at least he knows how to troll people.

Edit: And people on his facebook page are trolling him back on evolution, pretty fun.
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I mean its not a very good troll when people are laughing at you from minute one. No one bought Ken Hamm's bull shit and instead twisted it around on him and now he's throwing a tantrum in response.
 
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