I try to not think too hard about character builds. If I find a weapon I like, I make sure I can wield it, and then pump its scaling stats (if the weapon's damage scales with Strength for example, I'll increase that) until I hit diminishing returns (40 points in previous games). If I'm satisfied with my damage output, I'll pump some health and stamina for a while.
The death penalties are something you just have to get around. Though, if you're scouring the world for shortcuts, most corpse runs are quite short, and the currency you acquire by killing enemies en route to your corpse and recovering your lost souls will help you level up or upgrade your weapons.
Not sure how weapon degradation works in Bloodborne, but in Demon's/Dark I generally only had to repair my stuff every 2+ hours of playing.