Busting a FEMALE masterbating to porn on a laptop/PC...does it exist?

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tkscz said:
Yes actually. I have the only computer in the apartment in my room and tend to catch my roommate flicking her bean to porn. Usually she does it while I sleep and mutes the computer as to not wake me.
Click to expand...

Can I just say that I hate this euphemism? It just sounds so gross, and while I can't speak for all girls I know that there certainly isn't any "flicking" motion going on when I masturbate.
 
PhoenixDark said:
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
t6s2I0h.png


Her face immediately shifted like
v3v0Yph.png
and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Click to expand...

dead
 
PhoenixDark said:
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
t6s2I0h.png


Her face immediately shifted like
v3v0Yph.png
and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Click to expand...
This might be the best post I've ever seen.
 
SunhiLegend said:
m7hmghl.gif
Click to expand...

PhoenixDark said:
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
t6s2I0h.png


Her face immediately shifted like
v3v0Yph.png
and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Click to expand...

we are in the presence of gods....
 
PhoenixDark said:
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
t6s2I0h.png


Her face immediately shifted like
v3v0Yph.png
and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Click to expand...
Post of the year.

Give this man a trophy.
 
I had to re-read this whole thread again, its too good.

[QUOTE="D";136022695]It isn't obvious by my avatar? I'm black[/QUOTE]

I hate to break it to you, but I am sadly not in fact, an actual talking cat with a stache and glasses.
 
Kitsunebaby said:
Can I just say that I hate this euphemism? It just sounds so gross, and while I can't speak for all girls I know that there certainly isn't any "flicking" motion going on when I masturbate.
Click to expand...

What would you prefer? There's flicking the bean, playing the invisible banjo.... and I'm all out of euphemisms.
 
I'm not 100% sure why people are not answering the question but I will...

Yes. I have walked in on my wife masturbating and caught her by surprise. It was pretty funny.
 
Stop dog piling into the OP guys. He clearly has some sort of mental disorder like autism that has caused him to have naive, closed-minded worldviews that no normal 30-year-old would have.
 
Kitsunebaby said:
Can I just say that I hate this euphemism? It just sounds so gross, and while I can't speak for all girls I know that there certainly isn't any "flicking" motion going on when I masturbate.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's different for girls, but masturbation is 90% flicking for me.
 
PhoenixDark said:
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
t6s2I0h.png


Her face immediately shifted like
v3v0Yph.png
and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Click to expand...

Holy shit came here just to read this post, fantastic.
 
FatalT said:
Stop dog piling into the OP guys. He clearly has some sort of mental disorder like autism that has caused him to have naive, closed-minded worldviews that no normal 30-year-old would have.
Click to expand...

Wtf? I really can't understand the need for people to be so callous to the OP. It's been pretty clear what he meant since is first post.

Even the pokeball thing... Have y'all ever heard a playful joke? Silly figurative speech is great comedic material. Hip-hop artists even do it once in a blue moon.
 
... Poke...Balls? What is actually going on here? Why does... What? Yes, women masturbate too. Was that really so hard to believe? God, you're so fucking... Annoying. Jeez
 
Kitsunebaby said:
Can I just say that I hate this euphemism? It just sounds so gross, and while I can't speak for all girls I know that there certainly isn't any "flicking" motion going on when I masturbate.
Click to expand...

Shit. No wonder my ex girlfriend used to slap me. I thought it was an orgasmic reflex.
 
Tetra-9 said:
Wtf? I really can't understand the need for people to be so callous to the OP. It's been pretty clear what he meant since is first post.

Even the pokeball thing... Have y'all ever heard a playful joke? Silly figurative speech is great comedic material. Hip-hop artists even do it once in a blue moon.
Click to expand...
Naw man. I don't condone crushing the OP, but naw
 
FatalT said:
Stop dog piling into the OP guys. He clearly has some sort of mental disorder like autism that has caused him to have naive, closed-minded worldviews that no normal 30-year-old would have.
Click to expand...

Oh yes...cause you know me so well :-)
 
Masquerader said:
... Poke...Balls? What is actually going on here? Why does... What? Yes, women masturbate too. Was that really so hard to believe? God, you're so fucking... Annoying. Jeez
Click to expand...

Glad you could post. Please stop by again
*shakes head*
 
killatopak said:
Holy shit I thought this would get locked soon. Very surprised this is still going on.
Click to expand...

You and me both. I went to bed, woke up for work and it's STILL going strong. Lol I've created a monster
 
Just the other day (Saturday) I caught my GF using a vibrator on her clitoris, nothing unusual I thought...apart from the screaming coming from her phone.

She was watching one of those hazing videos, were a girl was being abused by a woman in-front of 20+ men. She absolutely loved it.

It has opened up a new side to our sex life,I never knew she was into this level of kink.

So last night we ordered a bunch of toys.
 
PhoenixDark said:
I fix computers for family members, but every now and then a friend or acquaintance asks me for help and I relent. A few years ago I was fixing a laptop for a female acquaintance of mine; mid 20s, white brunette, kind of nerdy cute type. She told me that her little brother was using the laptop and downloaded a bunch of porn on it; I know her brother and can confirm he's a dumbass BTW. Naturally the kid was looking at shady websites instead of using streaming sites like a boss.

So I cleaned the computer up and she stopped by my place to pick it up. She awkwardly asked "so...what type of porn was on there lol..." so I mentioned that it was mainly big boob stuff. She told me she was moving to her own place and wouldn't have to worry about her brother fucking up her laptop again. That was that...

Fast forward to 5 months later. Once again she asks for computer help, but this time it's a BSOD related issue. I take the laptop home and in the process of googling solutions I realize there's a shit ton of porn in the search history. Basically it boiled down to:

-big black cock
-big latino dick
-interracial porn
-girl massage porn
-James Deen

All within the last 3-5 months, during a period in which I knew her brother wasn't using her computer. I spent the next couple days trying to find a way to bring this up without seeming creepy or giving her an easy "oh my brother did that" lie to use. The next week she came over, I told her I fixed everything...and I casually asked how her brother was doing. She said he was fine and mentioned she was glad that he wasn't around to ruin her computer anymore. My trap had been sprung. I felt a tingling in my pants and moved to the next step.

me: oh really? I just assumed he had been using the computer again...anyway, it's fixed now
t6s2I0h.png


Her face immediately shifted like
v3v0Yph.png
and she clearly knew that I knew she was looking at porn. I gave her a sly smile and changed the subject to something else, but shortly thereafter she admitted she looked at porn, and then said "you aren't going to pretend like you've never looked at porn, let's be real. Is this about you making fun of me?" I looked her dead in the eyes and said actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism.
Click to expand...

absolutely sensational.
 
[QUOTE="D";136088359]Glad you could post. Please stop by again
*shakes head*[/QUOTE]

Oh, come on. There are posts in this thread that are a lot less constructive than mine. >:c
 
Opus Angelorum said:
Just the other day (Saturday) I caught my GF using a vibrator on her clitoris, nothing unusual I thought...apart from the screaming coming from her phone.

She was watching one of those hazing videos, were a girl was being abused by a woman in-front of 20+ men. She absolutely loved it.

It has opened up a new side to our sex life,I never knew she was into this level of kink.

So last night we ordered a bunch of toys.
Click to expand...

who was on the phone?
 
Tetra-9 said:
Wtf? I really can't understand the need for people to be so callous to the OP. It's been pretty clear what he meant since is first post.

Even the pokeball thing... Have y'all ever heard a playful joke? Silly figurative speech is great comedic material. Hip-hop artists even do it once in a blue moon.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I really don't understand some of those overly arrogant, condescending and straight up insulting posts in here. Did OP kill your kitten or something?

Masquerader said:
... Poke...Balls? What is actually going on here? Why does... What? Yes, women masturbate too. Was that really so hard to believe? God, you're so fucking... Annoying. Jeez
Click to expand...

Do you *really* think that OP wonders if women masturbate? It's rather obvious that he is just making a harmless joke, and is more interested if there are stories about about women getting busted. Because we rarely hear such stories, but plenty about men getting busted.

FatalT said:
Stop dog piling into the OP guys. He clearly has some sort of mental disorder like autism that has caused him to have naive, closed-minded worldviews that no normal 30-year-old would have.
Click to expand...

What the fuck.
 
Wow, this thread has been fantastic. The gif, the goat post from PD, the Shyamalandingdong-esque twist that the OP is 30 yrs old and not in fact 14 - this has been a rollercoaster of a thread.
 
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