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[Alucard]

I love and hate the summer, like I love and hate the school year. During the school year I have an excuse to give friends as to why I can't hang out as often. I'm in school, I'm studying, and that's the end of it. Then the summer hits and I have a little more free time on my hands, but I also have work. Anyways, since finishing college over a year ago and after my first year at university, I have basically formed a number of groups of friends. I have met new people, in and out of school, as well as from work. This is where the problems begin.

The more friends you have, the more of your time you'll have to sacrifice to be with them. This leads to situations where certain friends might start feeling neglected just because you don't HAVE the time to spend with them. You literally have to start mentally penciling people into a schedule...and it sucks. Sometimes you end up spending more time with certain people, and not as much with others you'd also like to see.

Now, this isn't always a problem depending on the type of friends you have. Some are like you and are totally cool with only seeing you once every couple of weeks. They understand that you have your own life to live and may not always have time to hang out. Or that you just like to keep your spare time to yourself. Then there are those who are calling you or emailing you every few days and wanting to know when you can hang out again. The ones that won't take a hint that you just want to be left alone or want to hang out with someone else. These friends are easily offended and sometimes you wonder if the relationship is worth it at all.

I guess what I'm asking here is this: do you ever feel a little suffocated by the people around you? Is it possible to have TOO many friends and acquaintances? And what about the people who think you're ignoring them?...

I'm bored. Humour me.

 

[Felidae_Khrall]

I love and hate the summer, like I love and hate the school year. During the school year I have an excuse to give friends as to why I can't hang out as often. I'm in school, I'm studying, and that's the end of it. Then the summer hits and I have a little more free time on my hands, but I also have work. Anyways, since finishing college over a year ago and after my first year at university, I have basically formed a number of groups of friends. I have met new people, in and out of school, as well as from work. This is where the problems begin.

The more friends you have, the more of your time you'll have to sacrifice to be with them. This leads to situations where certain friends might start feeling neglected just because you don't HAVE the time to spend with them. You literally have to start mentally penciling people into a schedule...and it sucks. Sometimes you end up spending more time with certain people, and not as much with others you'd also like to see.

Now, this isn't always a problem depending on the type of friends you have. Some are like you and are totally cool with only seeing you once every couple of weeks. They understand that you have your own life to live and may not always have time to hang out. Or that you just like to keep your spare time to yourself. Then there are those who are calling you or emailing you every few days and wanting to know when you can hang out again. The ones that won't take a hint that you just want to be left alone or want to hang out with someone else. These friends are easily offended and sometimes you wonder if the relationship is worth it at all.

I guess what I'm asking here is this: do you ever feel a little suffocated by the people around you? Is it possible to have TOO many friends and acquaintances? And what about the people who think you're ignoring them?...

I'm bored. Humour me.

No, this is quite normal. I myself have the same problem, having numerous groups of friends, who all like to do different things. Plus that I'm unemployed right now, means it's hard to spend time with any of them, which sucks twice as much.

 

[miyuru]

Yeah I totally feel the same way. It sucks because you can't be as tight with some people (well, as tight as you'd like to be) because you have so many other people to 'accomodate' for.

And stupid MSN has a limit on how many contacts you can have

 

[Alucard]

Yeah, I'm not nearly as close with a lot of my friends as I used to be. I guess everyone goes through the same thing though. Some people just don't take the drifting process as well as others. Honestly, sometimes I wish no one would call me for about two weeks. I've actually made somewhat of a conscious effort not to get too close to many people now...once you start hanging out with someone new, time expectations begin to arise. It's somewhat of a commitment and another person you have to divide your time with.

Sometimes I wonder if I've become a bit of an asshole because half the time I would rather be left alone than see a lot of my friends. It's just a lot of hassle now I find.

 

[darscot]

I feel this way when guys try and be friends with me. I always feel like saying sorry dude but I'm all filled up on friendship.

 

[Lambtron]

I've pretty much got my "core" group of friends, and that's who gets me the most. One guy has been extremely flaky, and he's sort of faded away, and the other 2 both have girlfriends... so the time is pretty limited. Last summer the one guy and I and his girlfriend basically went out every single night of the week, 'twas a good time, but it really wore on me after a while, and I was exhausted. Not to mention his girlfriend is kind of clingy, said basically she wished that she could have us both, and got extremely jealous when I got involved with someone. This summer I've basically just been coming home after work and chillin' around my home. That's alright by me.

Too many friends is possible. My brother has it. He's always complaining about all these people wanting him to do this that or the other thing. Shit, me, I'm happy being alone most of the time. I'm easy to please.

 

[Alucard]

I've pretty much got my "core" group of friends, and that's who gets me the most. One guy has been extremely flaky, and he's sort of faded away, and the other 2 both have girlfriends... so the time is pretty limited. Last summer the one guy and I and his girlfriend basically went out every single night of the week, 'twas a good time, but it really wore on me after a while, and I was exhausted. Not to mention his girlfriend is kind of clingy, said basically she wished that she could have us both, and got extremely jealous when I got involved with someone. This summer I've basically just been coming home after work and chillin' around my home. That's alright by me.

Too many friends is possible. My brother has it. He's always complaining about all these people wanting him to do this that or the other thing. Shit, me, I'm happy being alone most of the time. I'm easy to please.

Amen. I've become the type of guy that comes home from work and catches up on things like movies I've always wanted to see or just chills out and listens to music or reads some comics. Heh. I like my alone time just fine. It's really rare that I ever actually "miss" people too. Some of my friends think that's weird so I always feel awkward when one of my female friends will hug me and say "I've missed you" if I haven't seen them for a while, and all I've got to say in return is "Aww". Yeah, times like that I start to wonder if I've become a bit of an ass. Haha.

 

[lordmrw]

I've kept the same circle of friends since middle school, with a few new ones since high school. It is starting to suck with everyone in college out of state, moving away, or joining the army. I seriously need to finish college and get out of this state.

 

[ballhog]

I have the same problem, and on top of everyone else, a really old friend of mine just moved back into town a couple of weeks ago. So between my girlfriend, him, and my group of friends from college, which has splintered into about three loosely affiliated groups, I'm pretty fucking tired of answering the phone, let alone actually going and hanging out with anyone.

 

[bjork]

I just keep a very small social circle. I don't like most people anyway, so when I do come across someone who strikes me as being cool and worthwhile, I make the extra effort to hang around or whatever. If they're not, I don't.

 

[Otaking]

I've hung with the same person so far this past week, and I actually got bored of it. I was so wanting to do stuff with another human, that I got tired of it. It was the same old talk. Now I got more quiet time. The person I DO wanna see that I haven't seen for a long time is always too busy with his band, so I just gave up today trying to do stuff with him. I don't have a girlfriend either because right now I don't have any friends to meet other people through. I'm unemployed as well. I guess you could say I fit into the group of liking my alone time, but it does get old after a while.

 

[MoxManiac]

I stabbed my friends to death and shoved their corpses in a meat locker, so I'm good.

 

[RaymondCarver]

Oh, Mox. You're always a dear, aren't you.



My dj friend moved into the adjacent town with his girlfriend, and he's got all morning classes starting at 8am. I've got a 10am to 1:40 and then a 6:00pm to 9:30pm class, so I don't really have any time to see my dj friend.....much less the girl that I met at a rave a couple of weeks ago. It's really un-perfect because she works at 2:00pm. I'm just barley getting away from class then, but I'm really trying to get my ducks in a row so I can hang out with said girl before she goes to Italy at the end of the summer for her schooling.

People, think you don't have the free time you want now? It does get easier. There's always something to do, but a hard thing for me is learning when to stop worrying about the things I have to do long enough to enjoy something. I need to enjoy something soon, or get some sun, or something because I've already missed my alotted days for summer semester. I took a single Tylenol PM the night before last, and I slept fifteen hours. I totally missed my morning class. I even emailed my dj friend about having a crazy schedule for SummerI, and that I'd have time to live life again after it's all over. Two classes, each with a lab is wearing pretty thin, but once I catch up on my house-cleaning work, get comfortably ahead in my studies and lab work, then maybe I can hang out with the girl that's going to Italy. Sheesh. There's so much on my plate, but I'm kinda happy doing it all....especially if I get a little sun every few days. Speaking of which, it's 2:38, and I've got class again at 10.

 

[Triumph]

Nah, the way it works for me is that I have a regular weekly social schedule. Mondays is chill time, so is Tuesday, Wednesday is double booked with gaming night/karaoke at Lenny's, Thursday is usually plotting to take over the world with the other far left grad students, Fridays is movie nite/drinking nite, Saturdays someone usually has a party and Sunday is finish school work/drink more if needed night. Since most of my friends know I like to stick to this regimen, they know where I'll be. Make them cater to your itinerary, if they want to see you enough they'll bend.