I find it embarrassing in certain scenarios to disclose my hobby to people, most people in work know me as the “tech savvy” guy, but none of them know much about my gaming habits, or my money spending on gaming for that matter. It’s not that they wouldn’t understand, or want to ask questions, but personally I feel it’s childish. Mostly for the reasons in the op.
All non gaming adults know now is the Fortnite when it comes to gaming. The big cartoon online game all the kids love, I could be seen as a big weird old pedo that plays games with children instead of doing grown up hobbies like cycling clubs or being an alcoholic.
Now I know 99% of my colleagues wouldn’t give one shit if they knew really, but i am kinda ashamed of the hobby I hold and don’t feel like disclosing or trying to justify that I spend £10k a year on video gaming, the nuances in the medium, the nostalgia (which is tied to being a kid), the skill required and so forth. I’ll just tell em I play a bit of cod some times and you get the odd guy who plays fifa who can relate lol.
I was thinking something similar.
I think the problem isn't in the hobby itself but rather is in the fact that most people outside, and many inside, don't REALLY understand video games.
The impression I have taken away many times from talking to people is that there are a ton of folk who just see "Video Games" as a monolith. So if one person sees games as "for kids" then they just believe that all games are like that. Very few folks seem to understand that there are as many types of games as there are genres of music or movies etc.
Like if you tell someone you watched movies at the weekend they are not going to assume you watched children's movies or musicals or a western. The different types of movies are on a really broad spectrum and people generally understand that. They aren't going to think "movies... hm... isn't that mostly pornography".
You can pretty much blame the media for this. If some guy's wife interrupts him while he's watching The Revenant and he slaps her then nobody is about to blame that on "Movies". If the same thing happens when the guy is playing RDR2 or Fortnite? Oh, boy, those gamers are at it again!
Basically, the casual or non game-playing pubic is subjected to reporting on games that gives a very particular take on all things gaming. It's all about addiction and how the gamers can do X or Y or Z abhorrent things in the game. There's never a disclaimer that someone playing Fortnite or GTAV all weekend is having a very different time compared to someone playing Gris or Firewatch.
I was going to reply to the thread by pointing out that there is a massive segment of the gaming community that IS immature because millions of gamers are literally children and teens. Then there's a big segment who could kindly be described as not very well-adjusted socially. So you will have many immature gamers by default.
When I thought about that though I concluded that many mature and immature people watch movies or read books or listen to music that suits their tastes. Yet nobody tries to throw movies, books or music under the bus because a few people or even a few sub-communities act terribly.
For me it comes down to mainstream media coverage of gaming compared to other hobbies.
I think actually that gaming is seen as for kids because most mainstream coverage of gaming is not aimed at gamers and generally presents gaming as a bit of a "problematic" and juvenile hobby.
Gaming communities sometimes don't exactly help with this. You have many places on the internet that will share anonymous post and comments and tweets as "proof" that gamers are trash. Problem is that we never really get to find out who was really behind those tweets. I know for a fact that 11, 12, 13 year old me and my friends would have had a goddamn field day trolling modern gaming communities.
Then look at someone like Anita Sarkeesian. Many of her video game criticisms are definitely based on factual information. You can kill a stripper and dump her in a closet in the old Hitman, that's not the entirety of gaming though. What she does is the equivalent of saying "in the 2007 short film two girls, one cup acts of coprophagia are shown on screen once again demonstrating a need for the film industry to take responsibility for what is included in movies". It's factual but the true nature of the medium is hidden to keep things in context. Basically she was making videos about the negative aspects of video games but these were aimed at people who don't actually know very much about gaming.
People like that cherry pick specific aspects of the entire industry and package it up and sell that bullshit to people who don't know any better. As a result things like "Gamergate" define gaming when tens of millions of gamers won't even have a clue what Gamergate even is.
It's like the old thing you always see getting bandied around that "in Grand Theft Auto the player can hire a prostitute then kill her to get their money back". To an outsider that sounds truly awful. If you willfully trick that outsider into thinking that this is the main content of video games in general then of course they will have a negative impression. I mean do any of these people even comprehend what "hire a hooker, kill her and get your money back" actually looks like in-game?
Yet, when someone says "I'm taking the kids to watch a movie at the weekend" you aren't going to see any responses along the lines of "I heard that movies are full of murder and sex and violence".
Same if you say "I went for a meal and movie with the wife on Friday" nobody is going to come back with "my kid had a McDonalds Happy Meal and watched Finding Nemo on Friday, aren't meals and movies just for kids?"
Gaming seems to get a bad rap because there's a never ending line of people ready and willing to misrepresent the entire industry and it's related communities. That is coupled with a someone what ignorant public that blindly believes that misrepresentation.
Shit, I know folks who think gaming is not a respectable way to pass the time but they go home every night to watch reality TV and soap operas.
Yes, gaming is full of kids and immature adults and loudmouth eejits. Yes, there are games that are aimed at adults but with juvenile content. Yes there are games that adults enjoy that are aimed at children. That's true for all entertainment mediums though.
The problem is that gaming has been unfairly stigmatized in a way that movies or books etc have not.