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[Shard]

http://www.1up.com/do/feature?pager.offset=0&cId=3137498

EGM takes the Playstation 2 generation though another round of yesteryear's gaming.

 

[radios shipping overview]

The kids liked Gunstar Heroes! There is hope <3

 

[Wario64]

EGM: So if you're going to a desert island and could bring only one game, you'd take this [Legend of Zelda] over Wind Waker?

Parker: No. I'd take Wind Waker because this is so slow.



Crazy kids.

 

[Trevelyon]

Anthony: [Points at the next opponent, Von Kaiser, seen in the screen to the left] That's Mike Tyson, and he's trying to bite off your ear.

Garret: That's not Tyson. Are you kidding me? Mike Tyson does not have a handlebar mustache, and he's not white.

:lol

 

[Shard]

Yea, that Wind Waker was a mile a minute, wall to wall action.

 

[Matlock]

:lol

This can't be real. Especially those Gunstar Heroes comments.

 

[Amir0x]

I like the part where the kid says Mike Tyson is bad publicity for Mike Tyson's Punchout

 

[RevenantKioku]

I don't think a child would say that the rocks in Zelda look like "petrified snails"

 

[distantmantra]

My ten-year old nephew had no idea Nintendo made systems prior to the Nintendo 64 until I pulled out my girlfriend's still functioning NES a year or two back. On various occasions I've attempted to show him some of my favorite games from the past, including Atari, NES, Genesis, SNES, etc. games, and most of them do not impress him one bit, but for some reason, he absolutely loves the original Defender on my Atari 2600.

 

[Shard]

How does that one kid, Parker, know what the movie Gleaming The Cube is?

 

[Date of Lies]

These kids are not that stupid. I'm personally not offended by any of these comments.

 

[drohne]

i'm glad they weren't too hard on gunstar heroes. but i'm gladder that one of them has seen "gleaming the cube." these articles are great. so was the one where they had the mafia guy play animal crossing. does egm often do stuff like this?

 

[Date of Lies]

i'm glad they weren't too hard on gunstar heroes. but i'm gladder that one of them has seen "gleaming the cube." these articles are great. so was the one where they had the mafia guy play animal crossing. does egm often do stuff like this?

tell me more

 

[Shard]

Tom Nook sleeps with the fishes.

 

[RevenantKioku]

i'm glad they weren't too hard on gunstar heroes. but i'm gladder that one of them has seen "gleaming the cube." these articles are great. so was the one where they had the mafia guy play animal crossing. does egm often do stuff like this?

That was an awesome article. They had him play GTA3, The Getaway, and ....some other game like that, and he just bashed them all. Then they gave him Animal Crossing, and he fucking loved it. "This would give me and the wife a common interest other than sex." he said.

 

[Mama Smurf]

What kind of asshole parents call their daughter Dillon?

 

[Date of Lies]

That was an awesome article. They had him play GTA3, The Getaway, and ....some other game like that, and he just bashed them all. Then they gave him Animal Crossing, and he fucking loved it. "This would give me and the wife a common interest other than sex." he said.

Man, I really would love to get my hands on that article. I need to hear how he bashed GTA and the getaway.

 

[Shard]

A parent who hates his or her child and wants them to grow up, er um, soft.

 

[drohne]

found it: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_zdegm/is_200307/ai_ziff61731

 

[MarkMacD]

My favorite quote (re: Adventure):
EGM: Would you want your parents to buy this for you?
Bobby: If it was 25 cents and came out of a gumball machine, yeah, I'd buy it.


And yes, it's all kids saying this stuff. We (and CNN) have it all on tape.

 

[Date of Lies]

Yeah I just found it too.

it looks sort of fake.

 

[MarkMacD]

Yeah I just found it too.

it looks sort of fake.

:sigh:

 

[ImNotLikeThem]

found it: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_zdegm/is_200307/ai_ziff61731

:lol holy crap, thats awesome. when was this put out, i never saw it.. But seriously, does anyone honestly believe these are even remotely direct quotes of what all these kids said? sounds like it was "touched up" a bit at the very least.

 

[Shard]

Really?

 

[Amir0x]

My favorite quote (re: Adventure):
EGM: Would you want your parents to buy this for you?
Bobby: If it was 25 cents and came out of a gumball machine, yeah, I'd buy it.


And yes, it's all kids saying this stuff. We (and CNN) have it all on tape.

You write/work for EGM?

Neat.

 

[Jak140]

Here's the original if anyone's interested:
http://www.lyberty.com/blog/articles/childs_play.htm

 

[StrikerObi]

Dammit, I weep for the future of games.

 

[el jacko]

Rachel: I like this game because I can do all these things that are so against what I'd ever do in reality.

Garret: That's the whole point of videogames.

Oh thank god. I thought today's kids were idiots, I can still have hope for them.

 

[GDJustin]

"EGM: So you'd never played a videogame before today?

HH: The only one I played was Bong.

EGM: Uh...Pong?

HH: Bong, yeah.

JH: It's Pong, not Bong."

 

[Priz]

Whew. First thing I thought of when I read the title of this topic was a Chucky-based game that was a sequel to the original Child's Play flick.

 

[neptunes]

EGM: Knowing this is a Zelda game, what do you think the goal is?

Parker: Save the fairy, or save Zelda. It has something to do with the Tri-Force.

Dillon: It always does.

:lol

 

[luxsol]

I couldn't stop laughing at this one

EGM: Do you identify with this dot?
Bobby: Yeah. My best friend, he looks just like this dot: small, handsome, and adventurous.

 

[CrispinB]

Same thing happened last time we did this: readers thought we were putting words in these kids' mouths. This dialogue is 100 percent legit, you doubters. We even videotaped it (as much to aid our transcription as to back us up). The CNN piece aired last weekend, BTW.

 

[COCKLES]

EGM: Now imagine you've reached the 10th stage, and you're on your last life. Once you die and you put another quarter in, you don't just continue from there--you start all over.

Parker: Are you serious?

EGM: Yep. When you lose all your lives, you have to start over. You don't keep going.

Parker: And you guys back then were OK with this?

Fucking kids. Beat their softcore asses down. (with a baseball bat)

 

[MrPing1000]

EGM: Do you feel like you're in the middle of the Star Wars universe?

Everybody: No.

Parker: It feels like we're in some barely 3D universe.

Bobby: Maybe it feels like we're in the Star Wars universe where you can't see that well.

hahah :lol These kids rock

 

[8bit]

"EGM: Are the TIE fighters scary?

Anthony: No. It feels like they're trying to give me flowers."

 

[border]

Bobby: Why do all the girls think that Link is a hunk?

Dillon: I think just you think that.

Heh. She called out the latent homosexual kid.

 

[Shard]

Heh.

 

[Bog]

For some WACKY and STRANGE reason, the word "coached" comes to mind.

 

[Socreges]

For some WACKY and STRANGE reason, the word "coached" comes to mind.

Yep. Seems orchestrated to me.

 

[atomsk]

that Henry Hill piece is awesome

HH: I'm not renting this! I'd be too ashamed…lemme talk to this walrus, here. Ah, f*** it. I like this music. Nice.

JH: This game's for little girls.

HH: I will master this frickin' game! I gotta take this home.

JH: Henry, it belongs to EGM.

HH: Bill me for it. Call San Francisco [EGM's home office]. I want this.

GANGSTERS LOVE ANIMAL CROSSING, SOMEONE ALERT THE MEDIA :lol