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Darkness - I want my $10 back! >:| (Spoilers)

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I wanted to like this movie, for no other reason than I'm a horror fan. Authors, movies, whatever - I like to be scared and I like scary stories.

This movie had some good intentions, but things either - dragged out too long, characters didn't give us enough incentive to give a damn, and there was too much creepy for the sake of being creepy sans any real payoff. Which I could live with; if I enjoyed the ride.

The weak leg this movie has to stand on is that it's not your typical happy happy Hollywood bullshit ending. Problem is the movie should have been an episode of some horror anthology on Sci-Fi Channel or some such.

For the uninitiated it breaks down like this. . .

American family relocates to creepy house in Spain. Creepy things happen, and seem to directly relate back to the father. Mother, father, daughter, and son relationships all begin to break down; but there's no real connection made with audiences - sort of like the original Amityville Horror movie.

It's a good idea, just poorly written.

So, what are some well written haunted house movies? My basic criteria for a good haunted house story requires parameters that contradict the logic of the hecklers that states, "Dur! Run away from the house."

I think in a perfect world, someone would write a book or make a movie about a haunted house that only takes place over the space of a few hours; in which some terrible supernatural force completely dominates the protagonist. Completely disregarding all known laws of physics, science, and just plain common sense - and then everybody (our protagonist, I really don't need a whole cast of characters to add to a pointless body count) dies badly. :p

Suggestions?!
 

Poody

What program do you use to photoshop a picture?
from the title, I thought you were talking about Charlie Murphy's hollywood stories.

Darkness Bitch!
 
We need your support in the Lovecraft thread.

Yes, shitty movie. But the last part rocked, no?

EDIT: Noticed you didn't pick apart the plot holes which, FYI, tore their way in every 3 minutes. Anyway... I love horror, but usually find haunted house movies to be a bit tame for my tastes. I did like the A. Horror remake, though.
 
Noticed you didn't pick apart the plot holes which, FYI, tore their way in every 3 minutes. Anyway... I love horror, but usually find haunted house movies to be a bit tame for my tastes. I did like the A. Horror remake, though.

My attention span is too short to write at length about the plot, so you'll have to do with the sputtering and banging of my misaligned brain cells - like now!

I love the part about the evil death cult requiring seven children to die, and the seventh original child being the father; needing his throat slit by someone he loves. So how do we do this?

Easy!

Dad starts choking so mom and daughter perform a fucking tracheotomy?!

You know, I might swallow that shit if maybe you told me what mom did for a living at some point. For all I know she sold Slurpee's at 7-11. >:|
 

Fifty

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Poody said:
from the title, I thought you were talking about Charlie Murphy's hollywood stories.

Darkness Bitch!



:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol This thread title is hilarious if you read it as Rick James saying it.
 
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