Support NeoGAF

[gaiages]

Well now it sounds like she was cheating on you with him.

Which, well, why bother talking to him at all? Just cut him from your life, because even if that's not true... I have a feeling that's what you believe and having something like that between friends isn't going to keep you two being friends for long. No use even talking to him about it.

Just keep on keeping on, and listening to the others in here

 

[Silas Lang]

Holy shit methane47, are you me? My ex and (ex) friend sort of did something similar right after we broke up. It was a 7 year relationship so I took it pretty hard. I agree with others that you should just never speak with them again and move on. As much as I wanted to say something to my "friend," I didn't. Just try your best to let it go and continue on with your life. Don't let your anger or sadness get the best of you. Don't let other people's actions that no longer have anything to do with you control you or your emotions.

In other news, thank you guys for all your advice and insight in this thread. I don't post a lot, but I do read it frequently. I would encourage others to listen to some of the advice here. It works! Been casually dating for the past few months and have really started to enjoy myself. It was tough at first, but it's becoming surprisingly easy with a little practice. Dating can actually be pretty fun if you don't take it too seriously.

 

[Salamando]

I don't really see what they did wrong. I do think it's funny that your first sentence says that you're not saying they needed your permission, but going off of your words here, it sounds like he did.

Seems simple enough to me.

- They've been friends for 30+ years. Enough that he feels like (and is treated like) part of their family.
- He's in a committed relationship with a girl for 5 years. She cheats on him, he breaks up with her, she apparently hooks up with the friend a month later.
- His friend and the girl have been in a relationship for 10 months now, all behind his back. They're either outright lying or lying by omission.

There's plenty of reasons for the OP to be hurt, without even counting the permission angle. That said, it's not like a letter will fix anything. Keeping distance from the friend would be tons easier if it didn't involve "breaking up" with their family as well (unless they also see the friend as a jackass for doing this)

 

[Llyranor]

If my cheating GF of 5 yrs ended up with a good friend a month after the breakup, I would be highly suspicious. And then there's multiple denials, though I guess they knew you'd be pissed off about it. But, in this case, maybe you have a really good reason to be pissed off.

That being said, there's not point sending the letter. You wrote it, it allowed you to vent - which is great, but actually sending it seems pointless. Just move on with your life, and just leave these two to their fate. All the energy and anger you spend on them only affects you.

 

[Jpop]

GAF,

So there is this girl I'm talking to.

My only issue is her texts. They'll be like," u busy, wyd right, ect..."

It shouldn't bother me but it does, it does so much.

 

[vern]

GAF,

So there is this girl I'm talking to.

My only issue is her texts. They'll be like," u busy, wyd right, ect..."

It shouldn't bother me but it does, it does so much.

Work on your replies.

"Nt bzy, cm by, hv dk"

 

[NIGHT-]

GAF,

So there is this girl I'm talking to.

My only issue is her texts. They'll be like," u busy, wyd right, ect..."

It shouldn't bother me but it does, it does so much.

Sounds like she's pretty young?

 

[Jokab]

GAF,

So there is this girl I'm talking to.

My only issue is her texts. They'll be like," u busy, wyd right, ect..."

It shouldn't bother me but it does, it does so much.

Unless she was amazing in every other way, I legit wouldn't date someone who wrote like that. To me proper grammar and spelling are signs of intelligence which I value. Not that you can't be intelligent while typing like shit in texts, but the chance is significantly lower.

 

[vern]

Unless she was amazing in every other way, I legit wouldn't date someone who wrote like that. To me proper grammar and spelling are signs of intelligence which I value. Not that you can't be intelligent while typing like shit in texts, but the chance is significantly lower.

Another sign of intelligence, "getting" Arrested Development.

 

[War Peaceman]

Only idiots talk about intelligence as a rigid, binary and subjective. It comes in many forms - social, academic, emotional, etc - and doesn't define you as a person. I know highly educated people who read horoscopes and believe them, for example. I could not and have not tolerated such behaviour.

Talking about intelligence in dating reminds me of when you see okcupid profiles that want someone with a sense of humour as if that actually tells anybody anything about you or them. It would be a noteworthy point to say you want someone without a sense of humour. But to say that you do? Meaningless. We all do.

 

[vern]

Only idiots talk about intelligence as a rigid, binary and subjective. It comes in many forms - social, academic, emotional, etc - and doesn't define you as a person. I know highly educated people who read horoscopes and believe them, for example. I could not and have not tolerated such behaviour.

Talking about intelligence in dating reminds me of when you see okcupid profiles that want someone with a sense of humour as if that actually tells anybody anything about you or them. It would be a noteworthy point to say you want someone without a sense of humour. But to say that you do? Meaningless. We all do.

Speaking of profiles, I don't even say what I'm looking for. Doesn't seem to affect me negatively. My tinder profile:

Live in and around various parts of China. I travel, take pictures and eat spicy things.

Hopelessly addicted to 小杨生煎

My tantan profile:

In Chinese it says "travel around China taking photographs"


Both accounts then list my social media. Never had a problem. The only thing I change is when I travel to other countries usually say how long I'll be around. Still match plenty and can meet up with people even when it says I'll be around for one week or whatever. So either the text doesn't matter, my life is interesting, or pictures are the primary driver of matching on these apps. I think it's the photos. Make sure they are good.

 

[Jpop]

Sounds like she's pretty young?

Older than me, by a couple of years. She's 27.

I also randomly googled her name and it seems she been arrested for heroin paraphernalia, and petty larceny, in the past 2 months.

So won't talk to her again I guess...

 

[Jokab]

Only idiots talk about intelligence as a rigid, binary and subjective. It comes in many forms - social, academic, emotional, etc - and doesn't define you as a person. I know highly educated people who read horoscopes and believe them, for example. I could not and have not tolerated such behaviour.

Talking about intelligence in dating reminds me of when you see okcupid profiles that want someone with a sense of humour as if that actually tells anybody anything about you or them. It would be a noteworthy point to say you want someone without a sense of humour. But to say that you do? Meaningless. We all do.

This sounds like you're indirectly calling me an idiot. Or am I reading it wrong?

In any case, sure intelligence can be subjective. I find that someone who believes in horiscopes is not an intelligent person. He/she might be great at maths and/or a great public speaker or whatever, but believing in horiscopes makes that person not intelligent to me. Likewise, someone not keeping their language straight when texting sounds like not an intelligent person to me, though I could of course be proven wrong when meeting up, but chances are I won't even meet to begin with. Like can't you even bother to spell and use grammar correctly when looking for potential partners (however long that partner is supposed to last)? It's kind of like someone showing up in jogging pants to a fine dining date - put some damn effort in or you're wasting my time.

 

[gaiages]

Speaking of profiles, I don't even say what I'm looking for. Doesn't seem to affect me negatively. My tinder profile:

Live in and around various parts of China. I travel, take pictures and eat spicy things.

Hopelessly addicted to 小杨生煎

My tantan profile:

In Chinese it says "travel around China taking photographs"


Both accounts then list my social media. Never had a problem. The only thing I change is when I travel to other countries usually say how long I'll be around. Still match plenty and can meet up with people even when it says I'll be around for one week or whatever. So either the text doesn't matter, my life is interesting, or pictures are the primary driver of matching on these apps. I think it's the photos. Make sure they are good.

For you Vern I think it's a combo of pictures and an extremely interesting life I'm assuming your pics are awesome, at least.

On Tinder those pics are super important. A little less so on OKC but still.

 

[vern]

For you Vern I think it's a combo of pictures and an extremely interesting life I'm assuming your pics are awesome, at least.

On Tinder those pics are super important. A little less so on OKC but still.

I think my photos are pretty good. But I also don't think people really read the profile much. It can be a combo of things but photos are the main deal. I mean, girls might say they want serious bf in their profile or no hookups or whatever but my profile says "in town for 5 days..." And umm... Not to out myself as having sex with them but yeah, it may or may not occur. Definitely many girls are down to meet up at the very least. Doesn't really matter what my profile says I reckon.

 

[War Peaceman]

This sounds like you're indirectly calling me an idiot. Or am I reading it wrong?

In any case, sure intelligence can be subjective. I find that someone who believes in horiscopes is not an intelligent person. He/she might be great at maths and/or a great public speaker or whatever, but believing in horiscopes makes that person not intelligent to me. Likewise, someone not keeping their language straight when texting sounds like not an intelligent person to me, though I could of course be proven wrong when meeting up, but chances are I won't even meet to begin with. Like can't you even bother to spell and use grammar correctly when looking for potential partners (however long that partner is supposed to last)? It's kind of like someone showing up in jogging pants to a fine dining date - put some damn effort in or you're wasting my time.

I wasn't calling you an idiot, you just reminded me of a pet peeve so I ironicallyused idiot in the same way that others use intelligent. Sorry for any confusion!

*horoscopes

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere. If it really bothers you then that is fine.

 

[gwailo]

I think my photos are pretty good. But I also don't think people really read the profile much. It can be a combo of things but photos are the main deal. I mean, girls might say they want serious bf in their profile or no hookups or whatever but my profile says "in town for 5 days..." And umm... Not to out myself as having sex with them but yeah, it may or may not occur. Definitely many girls are down to meet up at the very least. Doesn't really matter what my profile says I reckon.

I think for profile text, you need to have enough to show that you're not a creeper or a bot and you're ok. My POF profile was basically a couple of lines about liking to take long walks and running an underground duck fight club and I did pretty well. A wall of text is going to make people go away just as much as bad pictures.

 

[Crazyorloco]

So just a quick update - I got talking to that girl and we agreed to put that problem behind us. We had a cinema date planned but she never showed up, so I guess the issue was just too big for her. It sucks because I felt I really had a connection with her, and now I'll never know the reason why it happened. Or if it'll happen again. My head is kind of a mess right now.

Ugh. I was rooting for you. People always give us little hints of who they are. That "Gay" comment was pretty rude of her. I think you are better off.

Next!

 

[Mory Dunz]

Older than me, by a couple of years. She's 27.

I also randomly googled her name and it seems she been arrested for heroin paraphernalia, and petty larceny, in the past 2 months.

So won't talk to her again I guess...

How do you randomly google someone lol. Put on a blindfold and press random keys and see what gets spelled?


I assume you googled her cause you wanted to see if anything notable came up. And it did. No problems there.

 

[methane47]

So i sent the dude the msg last night. (Didn't see your replies till this morning)
He replied within a few minutes saying..

"Oh man sorry i was just ABOUT to come sit down and talk to you about it tonight."

a likely story.

Anyways i'm done.

 

[Jokab]

I wasn't calling you an idiot, you just reminded me of a pet peeve so I ironicallyused idiot in the same way that others use intelligent. Sorry for any confusion!

*horoscopes

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere. If it really bothers you then that is fine.

Oh I see, all good then.

 

[gwailo]

Thanks again everyone - my mind's been clearing up these past few days. To those saying I should cut her off completely, how exactly can I do that if she's in my friend circle?

Just be honest and tell her you aren't comfortable hanging out with her as long as she's still with her boyfriend. If she doesn't respect that or starts with a bunch of drama, she wasn't really a friend to begin with.

So i sent the dude the msg last night. (Didn't see your replies till this morning)
He replied within a few minutes saying..

"Oh man sorry i was just ABOUT to come sit down and talk to you about it tonight."

a likely story.

Anyways i'm done.

It might be a small bit of solace, but she'll probably make him miserable also. I think the message you sent was fine. A friendship of 30 years deserves at least some form of closure.

 

[CitizenVectron]

How do I explain to my gf that occasionally not being able to get it up (erect) doesn't mean that I am not attracted to her?

I was a virgin until I started dating her, and we've been going out just over a year and a half. A few months ago I went through a period where I wasn't able to get it up about 1/4 to 1/3 of the time. She had been recently diagnosed with a chronic illness and I was really stressed out about it, and combining that with performance anxiety it was really frustrating for both of us. However, after some time it went away and we were back to normal. I know she felt it was because of her, but I tried as hard as I could to convince her it wasn't.

So last night she was really horny and we started making out and went to the bedroom...and I got hard but lost it right as we started having sex. That of course made me focus on it, so I couldn't recover. I wanted to make her cum though, so I tried to go down on her but she refused, and turned over and wouldn't talk to me, and eventually we got into a semi-fight with her crying and saying she doesn't understand why it happens to me. I tried to explain again that it's something that just happens sometimes to guys, and it has nothing to do with her (it doesn't, I am very attracted to her). Once it happens though, it's all I can think about and now I'm even scared for when we next have sex that it will happen again.

We have a healthy sex life, usually 3-4 times per week, never less than twice.

What can I do to help her understand it's not her, and that the best thing to do is just to be understanding and know that it will pass? I think she believes I am not attracted to her, even though this hasn't happened in months and we've had sex dozens of times in between it happening.

I'm really frustrated about it.

 

[dskillzhtown]

How do I explain to my gf that occasionally not being able to get it up (erect) doesn't mean that I am not attracted to her?

I was a virgin until I started dating her, and we've been going out just over a year and a half. A few months ago I went through a period where I wasn't able to get it up about 1/4 to 1/3 of the time. She had been recently diagnosed with a chronic illness and I was really stressed out about it, and combining that with performance anxiety it was really frustrating for both of us. However, after some time it went away and we were back to normal. I know she felt it was because of her, but I tried as hard as I could to convince her it wasn't.

So last night she was really horny and we started making out and went to the bedroom...and I got hard but lost it right as we started having sex. That of course made me focus on it, so I couldn't recover. I wanted to make her cum though, so I tried to go down on her but she refused, and turned over and wouldn't talk to me, and eventually we got into a semi-fight with her crying and saying she doesn't understand why it happens to me. I tried to explain again that it's something that just happens sometimes to guys, and it has nothing to do with her (it doesn't, I am very attracted to her). Once it happens though, it's all I can think about and now I'm even scared for when we next have sex that it will happen again.

We have a healthy sex life, usually 3-4 times per week, never less than twice.

What can I do to help her understand it's not her, and that the best thing to do is just to be understanding and know that it will pass? I think she believes I am not attracted to her, even though this hasn't happened in months and we've had sex dozens of times in between it happening.

I'm really frustrated about it.

Have you gone to the dr about it? That seems to be the next logical step. They make those pills for a reason.

 

[gwailo]

Yeah, if you're a young guy and having ED problems 1/3rd of the time, you should get a checkup. It might be psychological but that sort of frequency may indicate something more serious like prostate problems. Also if you smoke or drink, cut down or quit and avoid masturbating frequently, especially if you look at porn while doing it.

 

[CitizenVectron]

Have you gone to the dr about it? That seems to be the next logical step. They make those pills for a reason.

I've thought about it, but whenever I talk to anyone about it online or elsewhere, they always say that for someone as young as me it has to be psychological, and not physical.

Yeah, if you're a young guy and having ED problems 1/3rd of the time, you should get a checkup. It might be psychological but that sort of frequency may indicate something more serious like prostate problems. Also if you smoke or drink, cut down or quit and avoid masturbating frequently, especially if you look at porn while doing it.

I don't smoke and I don't drink, and am in good shape. I rarely masturbate, maybe once every week to two weeks (for this exact reason, thinking it could be contributing).

Maybe I should see my doctor.

 

[Llyranor]

The pills can help, but they shouldn't necessarily be the only go-to answer. From your story, it absolutely sounds like there's a major psychogenic component to it (you stressing over her illness, being previously a virgin, your performance anxiety). As you said, once things got better, everything went back to normal.

If she refuses to be understanding about it and guilt-trips you (and making you more stressed about it and exacerbating the problem), despite your genuine attempts at explaining it, she sounds pretty immature (+/- insecure). How old are you guys?

 

[CitizenVectron]

The pills can help, but they shouldn't necessarily be the only go-to answer. From your story, it absolutely sounds like there's a major psychogenic component to it (you stressing over her illness, being previously a virgin, your performance anxiety). As you said, once things got better, everything went back to normal.

If she refuses to be understanding about it and guilt-trips you (and making you more stressed about it and exacerbating the problem), despite your genuine attempts at explaining it, she sounds pretty immature (+/- insecure). How old are you guys?

I'm 31 she's 26. I don't know that she's trying to guilt trip me, I think it's more that she's blaming herself and doesn't believe me when I say it's not her. I also don't have a problem getting it up, it's that it goes away slowly after a few minutes.

EDIT - Also, I've noticed that it tends to happen when we have sex later in the evening, after 9 or 10pm. During the afternoon I don't think I've ever had a problem. I don't know why that would be the case, and I haven't really kept track that closely. But I know that's something common among the times I've had problems. Maybe blood pressure-related? I suppose I'll have to see my doctor.

 

[SmackDaddy]

Annoying another person for acting like yourself sucks butt.

Was chatting up a girl for awhile text style, trying to push and prod her to find out more about her personality- just being playful like I would with friends.

Whatever I said clearly annoyed her, so I'm just gonna relax and not talk for a bit and kill the conversation for now. God damn, texting is is poisonous to learning more about someone. If I had her face to face I know it would have went better.

Advice to Dating-AGE: Move to real-life interaction ASAP and keep texting matter-of-fact and simple.

Also, thanks. I had to vent about this a bit.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I'm 31 she's 26. I don't know that she's trying to guilt trip me, I think it's more that she's blaming herself and doesn't believe me when I say it's not her. I also don't have a problem getting it up, it's that it goes away slowly after a few minutes.

EDIT - Also, I've noticed that it tends to happen when we have sex later in the evening, after 9 or 10pm. During the afternoon I don't think I've ever had a problem. I don't know why that would be the case, and I haven't really kept track that closely. But I know that's something common among the times I've had problems. Maybe blood pressure-related? I suppose I'll have to see my doctor.

Fatigue? You're likely more tired in the evening.

31 isn't old, but it's not young either.

 

[Llyranor]

Annoying another person for acting like yourself sucks butt.

Was chatting up a girl for awhile text style, trying to push and prod her to find out more about her personality- just being playful like I would with friends.

Whatever I said clearly annoyed her, so I'm just gonna relax and not talk for a bit and kill the conversation for now. God damn, texting is is poisonous to learning more about someone. If I had her face to face I know it would have went better.

Advice to Dating-AGE: Move to real-life interaction ASAP and keep texting matter-of-fact and simple.

Also, thanks. I had to vent about this a bit.

Well, yeah, the whole point of the first date is to get to know the person. All the pre-date texting is ultimately meaningless. You could be having the best conversation, and she'll still ghost you anyway.

I'm 31 she's 26. I don't know that she's trying to guilt trip me, I think it's more that she's blaming herself and doesn't believe me when I say it's not her. I also don't have a problem getting it up, it's that it goes away slowly after a few minutes.

EDIT - Also, I've noticed that it tends to happen when we have sex later in the evening, after 9 or 10pm. During the afternoon I don't think I've ever had a problem. I don't know why that would be the case, and I haven't really kept track that closely. But I know that's something common among the times I've had problems. Maybe blood pressure-related? I suppose I'll have to see my doctor.

By all means go see the doctor.

But instead of focusing on "what is wrong with you", realize that this situation is clearly stressing you out, and that by itself + an unsupportive partner could already lead to this vicious cycle. Once you get into the "oh maaan I better perform well next time or she's going to freak out again" mindset, it can be hard to break out of it. You need to be able to relax and stop focusing on performing, but for that you need a partner that is understanding and supportive.

You're there lying in bed naked with her, but she's accusing you of not being attracted to her. I mean, really. Sure, her reaction is probably mostly out of insecurity rather than conscious maliciousness. But, her making this about her is pretty immature and lacking in empathy. But at least she didn't ask if you were gay :/

 

[ZackieChan]

Annoying another person for acting like yourself sucks butt.

Was chatting up a girl for awhile text style, trying to push and prod her to find out more about her personality- just being playful like I would with friends.

Whatever I said clearly annoyed her, so I'm just gonna relax and not talk for a bit and kill the conversation for now. God damn, texting is is poisonous to learning more about someone. If I had her face to face I know it would have went better.

Advice to Dating-AGE: Move to real-life interaction ASAP and keep texting matter-of-fact and simple.

Also, thanks. I had to vent about this a bit.

It's in literally every page of this thread, I think.

 

[SmackDaddy]

It's in literally every page of this thread, I think.

Cool, can't be said enough Sorry I haven't kept up to date with this thread.

 

[Punchy4486]

I'm 31 she's 26. I don't know that she's trying to guilt trip me, I think it's more that she's blaming herself and doesn't believe me when I say it's not her. I also don't have a problem getting it up, it's that it goes away slowly after a few minutes.

EDIT - Also, I've noticed that it tends to happen when we have sex later in the evening, after 9 or 10pm. During the afternoon I don't think I've ever had a problem. I don't know why that would be the case, and I haven't really kept track that closely. But I know that's something common among the times I've had problems. Maybe blood pressure-related? I suppose I'll have to see my doctor.

I had the same issue in my early to mid twenties. Getting the pill helped because it gave me false confidence and faith things would work properly and broke through the psychological barriers. After finishing my prescription, I had no problems on my own.

 

[CitizenVectron]

I had the same issue in my early to mid twenties. Getting the pill helped because it gave me false confidence and faith things would work properly and broke through the psychological barriers. After finishing my prescription, I had no problems on my own.

Good to know.

At lunch today we went home (we work together) and had sex...almost. I was hard but then lost it when thinking about it. She was understanding about it this time, but it's still really hard on the ego, even when I know it's not a reflection on me.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Annoying another person for acting like yourself sucks butt.

Was chatting up a girl for awhile text style, trying to push and prod her to find out more about her personality- just being playful like I would with friends.

Whatever I said clearly annoyed her, so I'm just gonna relax and not talk for a bit and kill the conversation for now. God damn, texting is is poisonous to learning more about someone. If I had her face to face I know it would have went better.

Advice to Dating-AGE: Move to real-life interaction ASAP and keep texting matter-of-fact and simple.

Also, thanks. I had to vent about this a bit.

Why would you treat Random Internet Stranger like a friend? Teasing, joking, and sarcasm works on people you know because, well, you know them and they know you.

This is why you treat the initial dating stages like a job interview: be polite, courteous, don't dress like a slob, and shave your patchy beard. Don't ruin a potential match by jumping too far ahead.

 

[Blitzrules240]

So either I'm getting blocked by multiple women on OkCupid or they're closing their accounts. Just talked to a girl yesterday, she mentioned how she was third shift and doesn't get out much and all I said was "Bummer" and now her profile is gone...

I'm really bad at this.

Why must my confidence fluctuate.

 

[alife]

Been talking to a cute woman I work with and I finally decided to make my intentions clear to her. I decided to ask her out yesterday. Due to an abusive relationship history and some recent events that took place, she informed me that she did not want to date anybody at the moment to work on her own self-improvement, but she still wants to get to know me. To be frank, I'm really happy. For a while, I never bothered making an effort to actively date people despite having women flirt with me here and there just because there's some things that happened to me in the past that shouldn't make me feel ashamed of myself, but they did. Putting myself out there and reaching out yesterday helped me accept that part of my life and now I realize that I don't need to be with anyone to be happy. My last shred of self-doubt was whether or not someone would accept me but now, I feel as though it's all slowly fading away. I have a choice now. Now I know that I can summon the confidence to reach out if I wanted to. I'm not implying that I can attract any women I want but that I can take those kinds of chances. At the moment, I can put my entire focus on working in order to go back to school, my training and diet (considering competing in the Classic Physique division), and I don't have to give a shit about feeling lonely anymore. This is great progress for me and I just wanted to share. I wish you all the best.

 

[ZackieChan]

Now ask other women out!

 

[bluethree]

Advice to Dating-AGE: Move to real-life interaction ASAP and keep texting matter-of-fact and simple.

Yep, for online I keep things to about 10 messages max (and those can be spread out over time, I don't care if she takes a while to get back to me sometimes). After that I'd still keep things to a minimum at first because I've often screwed things up by trying too hard over text in the past.

I've got a 2nd date lined up this Sunday and my texts since the first one have been strictly about planning the next date.

 

[Miroku129]

Date with a taller girl tonight! Wish me luck Dating-GAF!!!

 

[gwailo]

So either I'm getting blocked by multiple women on OkCupid or they're closing their accounts. Just talked to a girl yesterday, she mentioned how she was third shift and doesn't get out much and all I said was "Bummer" and now her profile is gone...

I'm really bad at this.

Why must my confidence fluctuate.

People do that all the time in OLD, that's why you can't get too excited over a couple of messages. You probably should have just asked her out after she said that though. Don't waste time with a bunch of messages. Its not like you are going to say something magical to convince them to go out with you.

 

[Vic_Bast]

Dating GAF, what's your opinion on long distance relationships?
I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months now but she will have to move to another city because of her job. It's like 1 hour by plane or 6 hours by bus and we're planning to see each other every 2 weeks.

 

[ZackieChan]

Dating GAF, what's your opinion on long distance relationships?
I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months now but she will have to move to another city because of her job. It's like 1 hour by plane or 6 hours by bus and we're planning to see each other every 2 weeks.

Terrible idea unless you have a definite plan to eventually be together again or are committed to a lifelong relationship. How old are you both?

 

[Vic_Bast]

Terrible idea unless you have a definite plan to eventually be together again or are committed to a lifelong relationship. How old are you both?

I'm 26 and she is 27.
I've been looking for job oportunities there too and yes, we both want to be together and share an apartment in this new city.

 

[Miroku129]

Well, she was very polite and fun in whatsapp but a egocentrical piece of shit in the date. Back to tinder I guess... >_>

 

[Jpop]

How do you randomly google someone lol. Put on a blindfold and press random keys and see what gets spelled?


I assume you googled her cause you wanted to see if anything notable came up. And it did. No problems there.

No her SoundCloud account was her name so I just googled it by accident one time instead of going to SoundCloud.

 

[AlephAlpha]

I think I am just not made for ons.

I had one last Saturday (not my first one) and apart from the physical attraction and an alternative lifestyle with leftist views, we didn't really have much in common.

And still I hate that there is no contact or anything. It just makes me feel bad and depressed.

That seems to be the pattern every time. Anyone else here feeling like that?

 

[ZackieChan]

I got blocked by one that I had a really awesome time with. Made me sad, but whatever.

 

[SmackDaddy]

Why would you treat Random Internet Stranger like a friend? Teasing, joking, and sarcasm works on people you know because, well, you know them and they know you.

This is why you treat the initial dating stages like a job interview: be polite, courteous, don't dress like a slob, and shave your patchy beard. Don't ruin a potential match by jumping too far ahead.

I was in classes over a weekend with this person. We chummed out pretty hard over the couple days and I was super excited about us having a ton in common. Or so I thought