Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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I dunno why I looked at my ex's FB page knowing her current relationship is still new. Was curious about her, thought I could handle it, but nope, straight arrow through my heart.

I'm in a relationship too right now, wish that meant it wouldn't bother me.
 
Vic_Bast said:
Dating GAF, what's your opinion on long distance relationships?
I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months now but she will have to move to another city because of her job. It's like 1 hour by plane or 6 hours by bus and we're planning to see each other every 2 weeks.
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Psshh thats nothing. Try transatlantic. But yeah unless you have a definite game plan to be together permanently - and it's within sight, it's gonna be VERY tough. I know relationships come and go but I'm guessing the majority of LDR's break up purely because of the distance factor. At least it's the deciding factor. Best of luck dude, hope it works out.

I dunno why I looked at my ex's FB page knowing her current relationship is still new. Was curious about her, thought I could handle it, but nope, straight arrow through my heart.

I'm in a relationship too right now, wish that meant it wouldn't bother me.
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Yup. Got a friend request from my ex last week. I haven't responded yet. I don't think I'm ready for that inevitability. Even though I'm moving on myself, and have even dated someone else for two months, it's not a good idea. Emotions aren't logical. I know it will cut me inside when I see those pics when they start arriving.

I've always been a champion of keeping exes in the past, and I've done so successfully so far, this one is hard for whatever reason. At least you've ripped off that bandaid and things will improve from now on.
 
It's weird when a Tinder match you've been getting along with really well just disappears. I hadn't heard from her in a few days then I notice she's gone from my matches.

Maybe she's found someone she's happy with and left. Or maybe she thought I was married and unmatched me. She was complimenting my Instagram pics. My full name is on there. I'm thinking she might have looked me up on Facebook. My most recent pics that are public are of me holding my baby nephew, and another a friend of mine took with of me with his godmother. It def looks like a family shot lol.

Shame. She was nice. Instagram disabled. Lesson learned. :)
 
You shouldn't be talking on Tinder for days. Move on to a messaging app or just go ahead and ask her out. More than likely she got bored and unmatched you.
 
Ok so I recently joined POF and I'm seeing something far too common.

I'll get a message, I'll reply to it but they just dissappear, it's not my reply (well I don't think it is).

So is it just a case of something better coming along I assume??
 
OCD Guy said:
Ok so I recently joined POF and I'm seeing something far too common.

I'll get a message, I'll reply to it but they just dissappear, it's not my reply (well I don't think it is).

So is it just a case of something better coming along I assume??
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Uh bro

I think you might wanna wait a day or two

What if u get a lady over tonight and your crazy ex comes along and starts drama? You aren't gonna get laid that night

Why not chill with friends instead?

Edit: in response to your actual question, there could be a billion different reasons, don't worry about the why too much.
 
gaiages said:
Uh bro

I think you might wanna wait a day or two

What if u get a lady over tonight and your crazy ex comes along and starts drama? You aren't gonna get laid that night

Why not chill with friends instead?

Edit: in response to your actual question, there could be a billion different reasons, don't worry about the why too much.
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Oh I'm not planning on meeting anyone straight away, I also would never let someone round the first night, as if they end up psycho they could just randomly turn up.

The reason I asked was because it seems to happen a lot, they'll be like Hi how are you? I simply say I'm good thanks, how you finding the site? and I hear nothing back, just find it odd.

Maybe my response is boring, but not sure what they expect.
 
Haha, great to see you here, OCD Guy. Godspeed

OCD Guy said:
The reason I asked was because it seems to happen a lot, they'll be like Hi how are you? I simply say I'm good thanks, how you finding the site? and I hear nothing back, just find it odd.

Maybe my response is boring, but not sure what they expect.
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Well, that response is pretty boring, though. Don't ask them about the site, ask them about themselves, or about something on their profile instead. Even the cliche "How's your weekend, doing anything fun?" usually worked for me. People love talking about themselves.

Try to imagine the kind of response you're expecting when you ask them something. I mean, do you really care what they think about the site, or do you want to know more about them instead?

Online dating is a women's market, so they can get away with boring openers, but men will have to be a bit more creative.
 
OCD Guy said:
Oh I'm not planning on meeting anyone straight away, I also would never let someone round the first night, as if they end up psycho they could just randomly turn up.

The reason I asked was because it seems to happen a lot, they'll be like Hi how are you? I simply say I'm good thanks, how you finding the site? and I hear nothing back, just find it odd.

Maybe my response is boring, but not sure what they expect.
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Ah, okay, cool beans. Just so I was clear, nothing wrong with hookups right after a relationship, but that girl be cray. Nothing about you in particular :p Wanna make sure I didn't sound mean or something lol

And I'd would say Scotch is right on this one :)
 
Scotch said:
Haha, great to see you here, OCD Guy. Godspeed


Well, that response is pretty boring, though. Don't ask them about the site, ask them about themselves, or about something on their profile instead. Even the cliche "How's your weekend, doing anything fun?" usually worked for me. People love talking about themselves.

Try to imagine the kind of response you're expecting when you ask them something. I mean, do you really care what they think about the site, or do you want to know more about them instead?

Online dating is a women's market, so they can get away with boring openers, but men will have to be a bit more creative.
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Thanks for the feedback.

I'll try and switch it up and see if that changes anything.
 
Has this been discussed any further? This thread is closing soon, so we need a successor.

Septimius said:
Hey guys.

We're closing in on the 20,000 post limit, so we should start thinking about who should make the new thread. There are plenty of people who frequently post, and I'd love for one of you guys to take the thread. What do people think?

Zackie? Zaraki? gaiages? Miles? GK86? stn? The list goes on

Code: 
Who Posted? Total Posts: 18,850
User Name	Posts
ZackieChan	1,174
gaiages	550
Miles Quaritch	524
Zaraki_Kenpachi	485
GK86	422
Llyranor	363
stn	344
Advocatus Diaboli	341
Gotdatmoney	315
Jokab	299
Salamando	292
Jason's Ultimatum	234
vern	230
OCDChewie	215
Lone_Prodigy	210
Granadier	193
gwailo	192
peanutbutterlatte	191
Royal_Phalanx	184
bluethree	177
Gooch: The Destroyer	173
Cool Guy Sami	170
bcl0328	162
Kurtofan	158
Arsenic Yellow	155
Septimius	155
Astral	134
n64coder	134
Oblivion	132
War Peaceman	130
Ray Wonder	113
MattyG	111
Gray Matter	110
LUCKY n WILD	109
electricshake	107
Blitzrules240	106
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OCD Guy you've got to get flirty. Asking a woman 'how are you finding the site' is pointing the conversation towards other men.


Sorry about your recent breakup too. Maybe take a little break or just meet someone women at a pub.
 
Kevtones said:
OCD Guy you've got to get flirty. Asking a woman 'how are you finding the site' is pointing the conversation towards other men.


Sorry about your recent breakup too. Maybe take a little break or just meet someone women at a pub.
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I know what you mean. To be honest I don't know if internet dating is for me, seems really fake.

Still, I'll leave the profile open for a while and see what happens.

i even tried deleting it earlier but it came up with a messsage saying I need to have the account open for a minimum of 24 hours or something.

I've received a few messages but it's from people that don't interest me, like people who smoke, with children etc. I can't stand smoking, the smell etc I find disgusting, and I'm not looking for someone with children.
 
My first post in this thread to coincide with my first successful online dating experience.

For the past week, I've been messaging a girl — we've been in constant communication morning, noon, and night — and we both finally managed to find room in our schedules for a first date, which we had this afternoon, and I'm really glad I stumbled across her. (Yes, I know not to set my hopes too high.) It wasn't an elaborate occasion; we grabbed a coffee, fed and discussed our opposing views on geese (I'm for; she's against), and then strolled along the seafront with ice cream cones. It was a beautiful day, both in terms of the weather and the company. Typically, I'm a fairly awkward guy, but my date seemed to be just as anxious as I, so that help put my mind at ease; I probably spoke more for those four hours than I've ever managed on my previous first dates combined, and even if nothing happens with this girl, I'm glad that at least she's helped shake some of my social anxiety, haha.

We briefly texted each other after parting ways with a hug (it was kind of awkward, but we both laughed it off) and swapped stories on having fun meeting one another. I'm super happy with how the date went for the most part — nobody could've predicted us bumping into her mother, haha — and I reckon I'll see about arranging a second tomorrow.
 
ZackieChan said:
Or you could pay for content you enjoy and support writers that you think are doing good work.
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And if his articles become more consistent then I have no problem doing so. I won't, however, pay a monthly fee for at most one article a month with some months not even getting a single article. He's free to charge or not charge as he sees fit, as am I to pay for his content or not. I'm not sure why people always take issue with it.
 
ZackieChan said:
Or you could pay for content you enjoy and support writers that you think are doing good work.
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This.

Also thanks for your ONS feedback. I guess I still have this egocentric idea that women just have to fall for me once they get closer to me (physically or emotionally), despite the counterexamples. It's an issue that seems to never come up in any of the dating literature.

Cheers from Tokyo, DatingGAF.
 
Zaraki_Kenpachi said:
And if his articles become more consistent then I have no problem doing so. I won't, however, pay a monthly fee for at most one article a month with some months not even getting a single article. He's free to charge or not charge as he sees fit, as am I to pay for his content or not. I'm not sure why people always take issue with it.
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It's a matter of devaluing good writing. As a writer (who doesn't get paid but uses it to advertise my services), it's a little sad that posts like yours always come up. Dude is just trying to make a living.

People hate ads, they hate paying - how, exactly, are writers supposed to make money on this stuff?

That's all super off topic, though, and I don't know Manson's posting schedule, so you may be right. Let's get back on topic :D
 
ZackieChan said:
It's a matter of devaluing good writing. As a writer (who doesn't get paid but uses it to advertise my services), it's a little sad that posts like yours always come up. Dude is just trying to make a living.

People hate ads, they hate paying - how, exactly, are writers supposed to make money on this stuff?

That's all super off topic, though, and I don't know Manson's posting schedule, so you may be right. Let's get back on topic :D
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It's not devaluing and crumbling society. People should be allowed to pay what they believe, not looked down upon because they don't value X thing to the monetary amount that you do. Not sure why people always feel the need to get on a podium when one person says the value isn't there for them. I even stipulated instances when I would pay so I'm even less sure what the argument is. A lot of people wish they would get paid to do X thing or get paid more to do X thing yet I only seem to hear pleas when it's writing/music.
 
vern said:
How was the first date?
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It went well I believe! No kiss, but she seemed into me.

The fact she was up for a 2nd date is a good sign I'd say.

I'm still not looking for anything too serious so I'd need to establish this pretty much from the get go depending on how things go.
 
Actually 10/10 got back to me and we had a coffee date yesterday. Some guy mentioned earlier that he wanted to get to the meet as soon as possible but with me it seems to be the opposite. I'm fantastic texting (if I do say so myself) but in person I just suck. I can't talk much! It's very frustrating. Like she said that I was funny and laughed during the message exchanges but I don't think I'm good at all in 3D. She said she'd like to do it again but I'm thinking she was being kind. I don't know, should I have tried to kiss her. We walked in the rain afterwards and I had the umbrella and it could've been romantic. But she would just have pulled away probably, leading to mortification. Thanks for listening diary!

Also there's this thing where I was hugely intimidated by her.. like face and stuff. I know I know, beautiful people are just people too but NOT REALLY.

Anyways still sticking to my previous post of giving up at the moment, I need to get more social or something so I have things to say and junk.
 
Kiever Sher said:
Also there's this thing where I was hugely intimidated by her.. like face and stuff. I know I know, beautiful people are just people too but NOT REALLY.
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You're not alone. The better looking women don't necessarily get apporached more than the "average" looking women. Due to being intimidated like you were.

There are guys out there that aim for women they think they're more likely to get.

Anyway I've been sending a couple of messages to people that I like the look of, and I notice a lot of profiles say they want a message that says more than hi which is fair enough.

But if someone doesn't like the way you look, does the message actually matter? Same with the profile, let's be real, if someone doesn't your pictures, what you write on your profile isn't going to make a difference.
 
Jpop said:
GAF,

So there is this girl I'm talking to.

My only issue is her texts. They'll be like," u busy, wyd right, ect..."

It shouldn't bother me but it does, it does so much.
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I started doing that ironically and now I do it for real :(((((

obviously there is a line you shouldn't cross but I don't think it reflects on their personality or intelligence.
 
Kiever Sher said:
Actually 10/10 got back to me and we had a coffee date yesterday. Some guy mentioned earlier that he wanted to get to the meet as soon as possible but with me it seems to be the opposite. I'm fantastic texting (if I do say so myself) but in person I just suck. I can't talk much! It's very frustrating. Like she said that I was funny and laughed during the message exchanges but I don't think I'm good at all in 3D. She said she'd like to do it again but I'm thinking she was being kind. I don't know, should I have tried to kiss her. We walked in the rain afterwards and I had the umbrella and it could've been romantic. But she would just have pulled away probably, leading to mortification. Thanks for listening diary!

Also there's this thing where I was hugely intimidated by her.. like face and stuff. I know I know, beautiful people are just people too but NOT REALLY.

Anyways still sticking to my previous post of giving up at the moment, I need to get more social or something so I have things to say and junk.
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Dude, just keep going for it.

My girlfriend is the super social (or rather, used to be) type. She knows tons of people, liked going downtown all the time, hosting parties at her place, etc. Me, on the other hand, I'm boring as fuck. My free time when I met her was taken up riding my motorcycle or playing games. I rarely went downtown or had/have many friends.

Despite my boring life and shyness, we got along great at the beginning and it just went well. If you really want to make things work, you'll find something to talk about.
 
Well been seeing a girl about 6 dates now. We ended up going out to dinner and drinks for my birthday, and that ended up with us going back to her place, which led to birthday sex. I still overall don't know how I feel about her, romantically. I enjoy her company, and the affection/sex was good, but I just feel numb as far as building up feelings. I think I'm just heavily scarred from my past relationship. Maybe I just need to continue taking this one slow and see what continues to build from it
 
Watevaman said:
Dude, just keep going for it.

My girlfriend is the super social (or rather, used to be) type. She knows tons of people, liked going downtown all the time, hosting parties at her place, etc. Me, on the other hand, I'm boring as fuck. My free time when I met her was taken up riding my motorcycle or playing games. I rarely went downtown or had/have many friends.

Despite my boring life and shyness, we got along great at the beginning and it just went well. If you really want to make things work, you'll find something to talk about.
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That's a neat story man, thanks for that.
 
Ok well I've started messaging people first, and damn talk about working wonders for self confidence (sarcasm).

I know you're never going to please everyone, but my hit rate is not great. If it was a k/d ratio I'd need to "git gud" lol.
 
OCD Guy said:
My height's defintely not putting in work lol.

A lot of women want guys 6ft plus, not all of them though, and to be fair that's fine it's their prerogative.

But I honestly think if I was 6ft6 or something my hit rate would improve slightly.
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More than slightly. How tall are you?
 
That's actually a pretty good ratio. You have to keep in mind that women on dating sites can get dozens of messages a day so it's easy to get lost in the shuffle.
 
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