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[Shantae]

When I had some other names I used to rant about some shit in my life getting me down, but for the past couple weeks, I've just been feeling really depressed without much of a reason cropping in my head.

I'm still puttering with some games, but other than that, and work, I have no ambition to do anything. I just literally want to sleep all the time. Gotten to that point where getting out of bed feels pointless. Even when I am out of bed though, my eyes just want to glaze over, and I wanna lay back down.

I'm sure if I really think about it, I could point out things that are troubling me, and maybe it's the burdens that overwhelming me that are making me feel so exhausted and depressed. I don't know what to do. I'm sure this year has been hell for a lot of people. I've been fortunate enough to not lose time from work due to covid, but I'm also mentally exhausted from not having any joy in my life. Can't even really go out and do much to find it with the closures and social distancing.

I'm posting here because this forum is the closest thing I have to a friend, which I know is pathetic. I probably should be calling my work's Employee assistance program that offers free counseling, but I don't even know what to tell them. My depression is something that's come from years of problems, and I don't even know where to begin when I talk to someone about that stuff.

I miss Japan I should be studying my Japanese more, but I don't have any ambition to even do that when I used to. I want that feeling back so much.

 

[DKehoe]

When you can try and get out and go for a walk. During this lockdown period I’ve found that has really helped my mood, even when I didn’t realise how much I needed it. It doesn’t even need to be for something, just a walk for its own sake.

Try giving that counselling number a call. Your situation is the kind of thing they are there for. A lot of people have been feeling similarly recently so you aren’t alone in this so I’m sure they have spoken to a lot of others in your situation so don’t feel bad about giving them a call.

 

[Liamario]

It's a positive thing that you realise you're depressed, instead of thinking that existence is terrible. You've recognised that you're depressed, you must also recognise that what your feeling is temporary and will pass. Sleeping all the time is the worst thing you can do, so you need to stop that straight away. The next thing you should try and do is get away from the situation or habits that are making you feel depressed. I do recommend exercise and I also know that it's easier said than done.
Talking about it and exercise are great remedies.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

I know, this is not the popular thing to ask here, but have you tried SSRIs?
I know some people where this really really helped.

 

[Amory]

Covid's been a bitch for my mental health as well

If your work offers free counseling services, that's great. You should absolutely take advantage. Progress will take time, like all things worth doing, but the first step is to call and make an appointment. Take the 5 minutes and just do it.

Try to spend an hour or two outside of the house, every day. It's cliche, but force yourself to go for walks. There's a simple joy in movement and fresh air when we've all been cooped up either at home or at work (for me work and home have been the same place for several months, so my apartment has started to feel like a prison). Soon you'll look forward to it, and it won't be so hard to get going.

Do you have family you can visit?

 

[Spaceman292]

Hope things get better for you.
But also is there anyone on here who doesn't have depression?

 

[Shantae]

I know, this is not the popular thing to ask here, but have you tried SSRIs?
I know some people where this really really helped.

I take sertraline, and I think that's one of those. Hasn't been working as well for me lately.

Covid's been a bitch for my mental health as well

If your work offers free counseling services, that's great. You should absolutely take advantage. Progress will take time, like all things worth doing, but the first step is to call and make an appointment. Take the 5 minutes and just do it.

Try to spend an hour or two outside of the house, every day. It's cliche, but force yourself to go for walks. There's a simple joy in movement and fresh air when we've all been cooped up either at home or at work (for me work and home have been the same place for several months, so my apartment has started to feel like a prison). Soon you'll look forward to it, and it won't be so hard to get going.

Do you have family you can visit?

I'll call that EAP number this morning. I'm actually at work now for third shift, so I'm off in the morning and I'll have time to call em.

I live with my parents, so technically I see family all the time. I help my mom out with my dad who is disabled and also very depressed. I have a hard time talking and relating to my dad, but my mom and I talk a lot. She's understanding, but she can also be a burden on me sometimes.

I have brothers, but I don't really talk to any of them. My 2 oldest brothers are half-brothers, and we've never been especially close. At least not as adults. My one full brother is dead to me, and it's largely his choice. I can't reach out to him because he hates me, and our entire family and has cut us off completely. Used to think I was close to him, but that was until he made me sound like I was nothing but a burden on him his entire life.

 

[LegendOfKage]

I also agree that you should definitely speak to a professional. Even making this post is a good first step and a good sign that you care about getting help. People who want to improve their situation are always at a big advantage when it comes to something like this.

I take sertraline, and I think that's one of those. Hasn't been working as well for me lately.

Yeah, if the medication that was helping before isn't as effective lately, that's another good reason to see a professional.

 

[Shantae]

I also agree that you should definitely speak to a professional. Even making this post is a good first step and a good sign that you care about getting help. People who want to improve their situation are always at a big advantage when it comes to something like this.



Yeah, if the medication that was helping before isn't as effective lately, that's another good reason to see a professional.

As bad as my depression is, I've had times of feeling better. Being on the internet doesn't help sometimes, because I always feel like I'm personally attacked for being who I am. What I mean is, when I did see counseling, I saw a really nice woman who gave me helpful advice, and often encouraged me to follow my dreams. Learn Japanese, live in Japan, do more spontaneous things, meet like minded people if I can. When I did do those things, I felt a little better, but I wasn't very successful at the meeting people part. Always felt way older than my college classmates, so I felt like the odd one, and couldn't really relate to a lot of them. However learning Japanese, and focusing on that goal for a while really pushed me, and made me feel what felt like joy for the first time in my life. I finally went to Japan, and I actually had tears of joy.

I've been out of college for a couple of years now though, and it's due to mainly financial reasons. I still want to go back and finish what I've started, but I don't know when I can even do that. And what I meant before that being on the internet doesn't help, is I feel like people like me are always such an easy punching bag for people to mock. I'm just another stupid "weeb", and I'm pathetic for it. I need to start acting white, and be 'merican, even though I hate my life here. It seems socially acceptable to mock someone like me, and it hurts no matter what. Whenever I've embraced who I am, I've felt better about myself, but the more I do that, the more I feel open to mockery.

 

[MaestroMike]

What's your diet like?

 

[M1chl]

Pregabalin if you have tried Zoloft or other SSRI.

 

[Shantae]

What's your diet like?

Not good...I legit don't know how to improve it. I occasionally go on these tangents where I'll try to eat more fruit, but I still end up going back to garbage because I'm weak willed and it's convenient since healthy foods go bad faster.

 

[Hudo]

I know that sounds weird but try to take a walk, maybe when you're already outside due to obligations, if you can spend some time (those walks don't have to be long. The regularity is more important, IMHO) It really helps me. And if possible, try to have at least some nature around you while you're talking your walk.
Fortunately, I live near the coast, so my city's outskirts are basically flat fields and dikes you can walk on. I also very recently discovered that even letting a bit of sunlight into your room or where your desk is can help a bit.

I know that all of this sounds like pseudo-eco-bullshit and I thought so as well until I was forced to try (by a girl).

 

[Richard Packer]

Not good...I legit don't know how to improve it. I occasionally go on these tangents where I'll try to eat more fruit, but I still end up going back to garbage because I'm weak willed and it's convenient since healthy foods go bad faster.

Have a serving of veggies every night. Eat whatever other crap you're eating. Just start with something.

Something I heard a while ago is if you're feeling like eating a snack. Ask yourself if you'd eat an apple. If the answer is no, chances are you're just bored and want food for stimulation rather then fuel.

 

[Shantae]

Have a serving of veggies every night. Eat whatever other crap you're eating. Just start with something.

Something I heard a while ago is if you're feeling like eating a snack. Ask yourself if you'd eat an apple. If the answer is no, chances are you're just bored and want food for stimulation rather then fuel.

I'll remember that. I love apples, but they're hard for me to chew sometimes.

I'm having my "dinner" soon because I just got home from work a couple hours ago. I'll be sure to eat all the broccoli I got, heh.

 

[synchronicity]

Life will have its troubles, but remember that in that you are far from alone.

But the need or desire to escape a circumstance can sometimes exacerbate a situation. You end up focusing on the thing you don't want and ironically making it worse as you dwell on it. Sometimes resisting what *is* is the elixir that perpetuates it.

That's not to say you should necessarily do nothing, but sometimes its good to shift your focal point. And sometimes resignation is freedom, as you quit fighting what you don't want, it simply evaporates on its own.

All things move in cycles, and if you were happy before, you will probably be happy again.

 

[teezzy]

Exercise, nutrition, and anger have always helped me. Godspeed.

Let that sadness out. Dont let that negative energy stay trapped within you.

 

[Pejo]

I think a COVID-19 has given people a lot of time to reflect - good or bad. It's also taken away the social aspect of life to a big degree, and humans rely on social connections to a pretty big degree, even if it's just coworkers in the office or whatever. I think a lot of people are feeling like you OP.

I think a exercise routine would really help you, even if it's just a walk daily or something like that. Maybe find a chatroom somewhere too if those still exist? Some human communication would probably do you well.

Otherwise, in times like this where it seems like everything is bad news, it does get a little oppressive. Maybe if you are feeling the way you describe in the OP, you should also look into talking to a doctor. The things you're feeling likely could be caused by a chemical imbalance that needs some sort of righting.

The worst thing you can do is nothing though, because it's just going to continue to pile up on you. Exercise has really helped me through this stuff and I highly recommend it.

 

[DESTROYA]

Be strong brotha !
You say you have trouble making friends so how about getting some sort of pet ?
They love you unconditionally and can be a lot of work but going out for walks and some fresh air can do wonders for your mind.

 

[Shantae]

Be strong brotha !
You say you have trouble making friends so how about getting some sort of pet ?
They love you unconditionally and can be a lot of work but going out for walks and some fresh air can do wonders for your mind.

I have a cat, but she's 16 years old now. I honestly don't want to get another pet, even after something happens to her, because the dream is to live in Japan, and I don't want to have to worry about a pet until I've cemented my living condition there.

 

[Tesseract]

don't let yourself get into a loop where you feel bad and do nothing to stop it, don't waste time thinking about what you could be doing if certain factors were eliminated (or brought to light), don't give any fucks what other people think

exercise, eat well, meditate, study and work hard, have fun because death and decay are inevitable and everyone's information is eventually destroyed

embrace the prison of your mind

 

[Shantae]

don't let yourself get into a loop where you feel bad and do nothing to stop it, don't waste time thinking about what you could be doing if certain factors were eliminated (or brought to light), don't give any fucks what other people think

exercise, eat well, meditate, study and work hard, have fun because death and decay are inevitable and everyone's information is eventually destroyed

embrace the prison of your mind

This might sound stupid, but I really wish I knew how to do this. My own thoughts race so much, that I just don't know how to calm it, or how to appropriately meditate. I'd love to learn how.

 

[Jooxed]

I'm posting here because this forum is the closest thing I have to a friend, which I know is pathetic. I probably should be calling my work's Employee assistance program that offers free counseling, but I don't even know what to tell them. My depression is something that's come from years of problems, and I don't even know where to begin when I talk to someone about that stuff.

Tell them all of the stuff you listed in your post. Always seek professional help as opposed to an online forum. Keep your head up man.

 

[slugbahr]

This might sound stupid, but I really wish I knew how to do this. My own thoughts race so much, that I just don't know how to calm it, or how to appropriately meditate. I'd love to learn how.

Maybe just talking out of my ass ...
Try playing an audio recording of something relaxing. Try to focus on it rather than other distracting sounds. When you are distracted, refocus on the recording.

Close your eyes too, of course

 

[Tesseract]

This might sound stupid, but I really wish I knew how to do this. My own thoughts race so much, that I just don't know how to calm it, or how to appropriately meditate. I'd love to learn how.

just do it, retreat somewhere and collapse your mind

you will stumble and fail, eventually you'll git gud

there are no magic answers or magic people, you have to take the first steps yourself

 

[DeepBreath87]

Think of small tasks and accomplish them. Things like cleaning out drawers, putting away piles, etc. Doing this kind of thing will accomplish two things. First, it gets things done that need to be done. More importantly, it will make you feel better. As you get small things done, it will increase your ability to take on larger things. This will make you feel better. Start small and drag yourself through it at the beginning. Make sure you pick things you know you can accomplish at first.

 

[teezzy]

This might sound stupid, but I really wish I knew how to do this. My own thoughts race so much, that I just don't know how to calm it, or how to appropriately meditate. I'd love to learn how.

It's muscle memory, just like everything else. Close your eyes and breathe at a slow and steady place.

The BIGGEST misconception about meditation is that you're supposed to stop your thoughts altogether - which stopped me for years.

In actuality, you want to let your thoughts come, acknowledge them and just let them pass. You are just yourself in that moment. Have some sympathy for your own being. Awareness.

Practice makes perfect. It's definitely a skill worth honing.

 

[teezzy]

there are no magic answers or magic people, you have to take the first steps yourself

 

[teezzy]

 

[MaestroMike]

I'll remember that. I love apples, but they're hard for me to chew sometimes.

I'm having my "dinner" soon because I just got home from work a couple hours ago. I'll be sure to eat all the broccoli I got, heh.

Broccoli, spinach and kale or other cruciferous leafy greens. Try to get a pound of one of those each day for a few days per week or you can aim to try and get 3 or 4 pounds in per week. More or less based on your size. You can focus on one of those or have a mixture of two or three and eat them with nuts and seeds and citrus lemons/oranges and berries and beans. Chewing them as salads takes a lot of time. If you don't have the time, then you're better off blending them in a smoothie and throwing in vitamin d tablets if you're not getting enough sunshine also. Zinc and b12 are good supplements, too. Make sure to use a lot of lemons. Sourness from the lemons is a good sign. In between the green meals you can have your carbs and protein and bread. It's not easy eating this way, but you'll be better off in the long run health wise and probably happier/more content. You'll feel more like an animal and be running more on instinct since it's harder to think when you're consuming and digesting all that vegetation. You will start to glow and have more physical energy as well.

 

[bigsnack]

I would work on some basics, you might be surprised at how much they actually help:

1. Diet - Eat fats (any non-processed fat will do), protein, and naturally occurring carbohydrates. If you aren't a veggie / vegan, devour a big ass USDA prime ribeye, with some veggies. A deficiency in nutrients can throw off your thyroid and can really mess up your emotional state. I would also personally avoid anything with chocolate and caffeine in it. Both of those can cause rebound effects that can seriously ramp up irritability and depression. There has only been one time in my life when I was at such an emotional low that thoughts of hurting myself actually crept in. As it turns out it was a bad reaction to a particularly strong brand of chocolate. Regardless, diet is a guaranteed way to improve things.

2. Screen time - Plain and simple, the internet is a fucking cesspool, now more than ever. The older I get, I find that screentime in general is a massive waste of time. You don't have to be that extreme about it, but I promise if you took some serious breaks from ingesting media and wasting time on a phone / tablet / computer / TV, you would feel better.

3. Go outside. The more time you spend outside, the better you will feel as well. Every time I am at the beach, I am present and content. Maybe the beach isn't your thing, but get outside! You don't even have to exercise necessarily, just get some vitamin D and enjoy a gentle breeze. It's very cleansing for the soul.

I would start with those three, on top of speaking with someone if you deem it necessary.

 

[AlteredForms]

Welcome to the club. Meetings on Tuesdays.

 

[Soodanim]

I would work on some basics, you might be surprised at how much they actually help:

1. Diet - Eat fats (any non-processed fat will do), protein, and naturally occurring carbohydrates. If you aren't a veggie / vegan, devour a big ass USDA prime ribeye, with some veggies. A deficiency in nutrients can throw off your thyroid and can really mess up your emotional state. I would also personally avoid anything with chocolate and caffeine in it. Both of those can cause rebound effects that can seriously ramp up irritability and depression. There has only been one time in my life when I was at such an emotional low that thoughts of hurting myself actually crept in. As it turns out it was a bad reaction to a particularly strong brand of chocolate. Regardless, diet is a guaranteed way to improve things.

2. Screen time - Plain and simple, the internet is a fucking cesspool, now more than ever. The older I get, I find that screentime in general is a massive waste of time. You don't have to be that extreme about it, but I promise if you took some serious breaks from ingesting media and wasting time on a phone / tablet / computer / TV, you would feel better.

3. Go outside. The more time you spend outside, the better you will feel as well. Every time I am at the beach, I am present and content. Maybe the beach isn't your thing, but get outside! You don't even have to exercise necessarily, just get some vitamin D and enjoy a gentle breeze. It's very cleansing for the soul.

I would start with those three, on top of speaking with someone if you deem it necessary.

I'm intrigued about the chocolate comment, I'll have to look into that. Caffeine makes more sense because its negative effects are more commonly understood.

The outside bit is 100% true. Get outside and appreciate nature for a while. Trees, grass, plants - anything green will do. It helps you reset. That's not always easy in a city, but if you can make it happen you'll feel better for it OP.

 

[FreedomOfSpeech]

I hope some of this may apply to you.

You gotta go through the aspects of your life systematically. Have a system of sorts.

Food: eating crap will make you feel crap. Eat better and you allow for better feels and thoughts. Don't eat crap, you are trading your wellbeing for their (whoever sells you your food) profit margin. Their incentive is to sell you the worst shit you will still buy. Your incentive is to be healthy as possible. Don't be a sucker for Big Sugar.

Physical shape: Being sedentary will make you lethargic. You have to move. This was a good change for me certainly. I've been going to the gym for about 5 years now and it really makes me feel better. Even thinking about it is a positive reinforcement. Recently I started doing 'martial art' (krav maga and kickboxing) and this is only supercharging my motivation, since it is particularly practical. As soon as you notice changes, you start to see the shit food you eat as the enemy, which will help avoid them.

Thoughts: if you got negative thoughts, it might help you to talk to a professional. I did this and it helped a bit, not as much as I hoped. Consider reading books that will level up your knowledge and way of thinking. If you are a guy frustrated with the way men are treated these days you might want to read The Rational Male to start.

Friends: It's human to have friends, a tribe. If you have none, here's how you get them: Repeated, unforced encounters with people. This just means you find something you want to spend time on, that others also do. Like going to a gym (group lessons), taking a 10-lesson course in whatever. Build yourself while meeting others. The focus is building yourself, if you feel approaching others is imposing yourself on them (this is why smokers used to get called 'social': you don't go talk to people, you go smoke and talking to people is the byproduct. DONT START SMOKING lol).

You might want to keep a journal where you write down the things you did that are positively impacting your life, however insignificant they might seem. Fill this book and you will have 'tangible evidence' of your improvement.

The best immediate gains will be your physical shape. Eat properly and get in shape. It will change your life.

Scott Adams talks about having a 'talent stack'. Improving a certain aspect of you will help improving other aspects of you.

 

[Frito_Pendejo]

Life’s a motherfucker OP. Don’t let your depression linger. Talk to someone and get some help because moving isn’t going to fix it. You might have a temporary high but it will come back. It sucks but you really can’t run from depression. Do what you can to tackle it now before you make your big move. Godspeed.

 

[Kadayi]

With regards to meditation, the common mistake is to think there's a right way, where as in reality there's a lot of different ways. Meditation is not a goal, it's an exercise. The more you do it in terms of repetition the easier it becomes and the more you get out of it.

There are plenty of free guided meditation apps available for Android and IPhone. Calm and Headspace despite being popular are always pimping you to buy their other meditations which I dislike. if you are on Iphone I'd say give Oak a look, and if you are on Android Meditation & Breathing Joy - Calm, Relax & sleep which is a blatant Oak ripoff, but gives you 3 free meditations (mindfulness, loving kindness & unguided) but also has some some neat breathing exercises (like 4 square which is really good) as well as a couple of sleep tracks (can't say I've used those however) and has a one off unlock for 4 more guided meditations (decent enough, but not essential). I'd say mindfulness is a good one to start with. It's a ten minute meditation and easy to follow.

In terms of fitting a meditation practice into your life, I'd say in the morning, after a shower and maybe following a glass of water, but before you have any coffee or breakfast (if that's your thing). Find a comfortable chair stick your headphones on or ear buds in and just follow the instructions.

Honestly don't expect noticeable results for a while, just stick with it.

 

[LegendOfKage]

As bad as my depression is, I've had times of feeling better. Being on the internet doesn't help sometimes, because I always feel like I'm personally attacked for being who I am. What I mean is, when I did see counseling, I saw a really nice woman who gave me helpful advice, and often encouraged me to follow my dreams. Learn Japanese, live in Japan, do more spontaneous things, meet like minded people if I can. When I did do those things, I felt a little better, but I wasn't very successful at the meeting people part. Always felt way older than my college classmates, so I felt like the odd one, and couldn't really relate to a lot of them. However learning Japanese, and focusing on that goal for a while really pushed me, and made me feel what felt like joy for the first time in my life. I finally went to Japan, and I actually had tears of joy.

I've been out of college for a couple of years now though, and it's due to mainly financial reasons. I still want to go back and finish what I've started, but I don't know when I can even do that. And what I meant before that being on the internet doesn't help, is I feel like people like me are always such an easy punching bag for people to mock. I'm just another stupid "weeb", and I'm pathetic for it. I need to start acting white, and be 'merican, even though I hate my life here. It seems socially acceptable to mock someone like me, and it hurts no matter what. Whenever I've embraced who I am, I've felt better about myself, but the more I do that, the more I feel open to mockery.

I think one of the frustrating things about depression or anxiety is hearing people say that "you shouldn't feel that way." It's one of the most useless statements you can make to a person. It doesn't work like that. No one can tell you how to feel, but I will say that I used to be embarrassed by my hobbies and interests, so to an extent I understand what you're referring to. What worked for me is the realization that I would never openly mock someone for the things that they enjoy, along with the fact that there are many hobbies that I have no interest in. This also came with the realization that anyone who would openly think less of me for my hobbies isn't someone whose opinion I should care about anyway.

And notice that I said "openly." Think of all the possible hobbies and interests someone might have. No matter how "to each their own" of a person you are, you can probably think of some things that strike you as really lame, or a massive waste of time. You can also likely think of some hobbies that sound cool, even if you personally don't have an interest in the subject. To suggest that all hobbies and interests should be seen by everyone as equally "good" doesn't make much sense. I know you're not suggesting that, of course. But if there are hobbies and interests that you can look at and say to yourself "ugh, why would you do that," then at a certain level, you're also saying that about the people who choose to spend their time that way. And if you can say that (to yourself) about others, then why shouldn't they think the same thing about your interests?

So I'm pushing 40, and still playing video games, and someone wants to look down on me to feel better about themselves? My thoughts are "have at it," because if I'm honest with myself, I think some other interests that people might have are pretty lame myself. And if people are vocal about their opinion of my "lame" interests, then I'm reaching into my "well who cares what you think, you're an asshole, and I wouldn't want to be you" mentality. Although I don't SAY that, I FEEL it. To say it would be giving people the reaction they're looking for.

It's like when you're talking about music, listing your favorite bands, and someone is saying how everything you like sucks. Then you ask what their favorite band is, and their choice seems lame to you, especially in light of how they were just insulting your taste. But the way I view it, I don't get to think that someone has bad taste in music, movies, hobbies, etc, unless I accept that they can and will think the same thing about me. And that just leads me back to "well, who cares what they think?" That's even more true if someone is being an ass about it. Then they just sound like an idiot.

Spoiler

"The new Depeche Mode" at that time was referring to one of my favorite albums of all time, Violator.

So I'm not telling you to stop caring what other people think about you (because people don't get to choose how they feel), but I am telling you that once I realized that I don't think of all hobbies equally either, it made me much more accepting of the fact that others will feel the same about mine. And personally, I'd rather know someone who has your interests over a lot of other hobbies that I could think of. That should count for something too.

 

[Mistake]

I usually watch a lot of comedies or stand up. Laughter is great medicine. Focus on things that will have a positive effect on your mood, and don’t look at the big picture too much. Try to take small bites out of large goals, and you’ll notice an improvement. I recommend biking if you have the space, at least twice a week, and see how far you can go each time.

I know, this is not the popular thing to ask here, but have you tried SSRIs?
I know some people where this really really helped.

Personally, I don’t recommend them. It made things a lot worse for me. If you feel like the world is crashing down on you, they will help for a few days, but not long term.

 

[DryvBy]

I went through 3 years of horrible depression. I felt like is was watching a movie of myself do things. Nothing excited me and here's some things I tried:

I'm religious so I prayed a lot. Selfish prayers that I felt I needed. I personally think this helped a lot because it was my alone time. Being religious may have saved me (as well as my wife,) from wanting to kill myself.

I talked it out with friends and family. I let my wife know what was going on and friends know. Shocked how many people had the same issues. This helped a lot knowing your not alone.

This is ultimately what took so long but I stopped using social media for a while. This really helped me too. Facebook was out of my life. Twitter was minimum. I deleted my Reddit account. Social media can really make you look at yourself as pathetic. I thought I wasn't good enough to do anything anymore. Detox social media so your brain isn't non-stop excited. Dopamine hits from hardcore gaming, movies and entertainment won't help you.

I hope some of this hits home.

 

[SuperBabyMethod]

Go out, take a walk, get offline or listen to a good podcast (while walking); go for a run; try your best to exercise. I know that may seem like a cliche response, but as someone who deals with bouts of depression as well, it helps tremendously. I would also recommend goal setting - having a purpose gives more meaning to your life and will help motivate you to accomplish things.

 

[V4skunk]

You want to sort your head out and start doing exercise. Go to the gym for a run, swim or bike ride etc...
Also if you care about what people think about you online you should really stop using the internet all together. The internet is not reality.

 

[DragoonWalker]

I've been there. It's hard because nothing you do seems to help.

What I found useful isn't so much doing any particular thing. It's being around people you can connect with. I know you said you don't have many friends, but if this forum here is doing something for ya, keep posting. Do go see that counselor. You might not know how to start now, but when you get there you might open up. Also, I know it's still Covid time, but getting fresh air out on a sunny day can do wonders. Take a walk. It won't save you but at least might improve your day. Point is, take some action. Force yourself to. Don't become completely isolated, physically or mentally. That will make things worse.

These are all just small fixes. In the end you gotta make peace with the problems in your life, or find new meaning to drive you forward. And that's something only you can work out. But you will. Give it time. In the meanwhile, try to take care of yourself.

 

[nemiroff]

Edit: deleted, too personal

 

[highrider]

You’re depressed because you’re living a fake life. You don’t know who you are so you idealize something like Japan and think, oh if I could only be there everything would be perfect. It’s childish and pretty myopic.

Think about who you are, what the best version of yourself might be, work towards that. Develop discipline, you can’t do much of anything without it. It’s also important to acknowledge that you already know this, you’re just not trying to put in the work, and the sadness you feel is your subconscious saying what the fuck are you doing man.

 

[lock2k]

It's rough.

I have ups and downs as well.

Lately, this week precisely, I'm not feeling good at all.

I was on meds a while ago, but I've been off them for like 6 months, they were a mix of getting my mood up and upping my attention span as well, but I've been working just fine without them.

The reason I quit them was because I wasn't feeling human anymore. I wasn't feeling sad but I wasn't happy, I was just "whatever, no emotion, what's the point", it crippled my feelings and I missed feeling a rush with things I like. When I quit them, I felt great because I had emotions again (and even gaming was a part of that, I don't even care about playing anything when I'm medicated).

I think what triggered my latest down stage was the fact that I had the chance of getting a potentially life-changing job and I was turned down and they never gave me feedback, it happened two weeks ago and I was devastated. I was so confident I would pass and it would signal a real chance of moving up and having a status which I think I deserve after years and years of working and studying.This, and the fact that I'm 37 and I'm afraid I'm going to turn 40 soon and I still have a stupid analyst job and I'm capable of so much more. Add the fact that both my father and my brother were/are successful executives and I feel like a total idiot. And this week I'm definitely not feeling the mood of doing anything but eating and going for a walk.

What I want to say is... I don't know, keep your head up, you're not alone, I'm sure a lot of people here have issues as well and I just wanted to vent as well. Stay strong.

 

[Halo is Back]

If you want OP you can private message me. Mental Health is something I care deeply about. I have wanted to kill my self many times and have even attempted it, so I know how deep the pit can get. Im studying to be a CBT therapist so I can give you some advice about seeking professional help. The first step is to just start talking to someone about how you feel. It's ok you don't even know what to say or where to start I can help you get that ball rolling. Stay strong, and always keep fighting for something to live for.

 

[timeflais]

When one experiences an emotion to an extreme degree, the brain physiologically prevents access to anything that isnt feeding this emotion you are experiencing on an extreme level. Take another emotion as an example, anger, when someone flies into a fit of rage it seems like all logic and reason cannot reach them for some time, and yet, when someone mentions anything related to the source of the issue, it becomes significantly worse.

Because the emotion is felt to such a degree, normally those who are suffering take it personally when asked to "just stop being depressed". Whilst that is an over-simplification, controlling your thought patterns are key to overcoming what you are experiencing. Your mind is powerful, your mind creates.

It's on this premise that placebos can be effective, likewise focusing your mind on what you want, where you want to go and who you want to be, will drive where you end up. Affirmations work, it brings strength, purpose and focus. Re-read your post, and think about the language used. Are you feeding the negative feedback loop, or are you attempting to free your mind?

Your time and attention as to what you feed, is your greatest currency of life. The wool being pulled over your eyes as to how powerless you are to circumstance is your greatest weakness. This concept is coded into your very means for survival, money. Money is actually a word comprised of two other words.

Money = Mono + eye

Your soul focus.

This is imperative to everything. Your subconscious and conscious minds feedback to each other, what you think feeds your subconscious, and what your subconscious consumes (which is a lot more than you realise), formulates ideas, concepts and actions to the conscious mind. You have to actively break free from destructive path when that loop no longer serves any beneficial purpose. Think mirror, if your thought patterns arent charting a path you wish to be on, do the opposite, and push. I believe in you, so believe in yourself and your life will change.

Remember the mind is powerful, you may be told things like that depression is no more than a chemical imbalance in the brain caused by past traumas (example). Yet take a look at conditions such as Fibromyalgia, which is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain but changes depending on how the person feels. Such as, low mood = more pain. (simplified), therefore, a good mood becomes a pain reliever!

I recommend you spend time reading about the differences between. Aetiology (Freud - cause and effect) & Teleology(Alfred Adler - Influence and creation)

In my humble opinion, the former breeds weakness and submission as explanations presented to you, create your reality for you. Eg, A doctor told me that because x, y, z happened, that is why i feel the way i do, therefore I must accept that. Rather than, accepting life as an experience, all of which Influences the choices we make, but ultimately it is a choice that we make, and therefore a reality we create for ourselves.

 

[Happosai]

As bad as my depression is, I've had times of feeling better. Being on the internet doesn't help sometimes, because I always feel like I'm personally attacked for being who I am. What I mean is, when I did see counseling, I saw a really nice woman who gave me helpful advice, and often encouraged me to follow my dreams. Learn Japanese, live in Japan, do more spontaneous things, meet like minded people if I can. When I did do those things, I felt a little better, but I wasn't very successful at the meeting people part. Always felt way older than my college classmates, so I felt like the odd one, and couldn't really relate to a lot of them. However learning Japanese, and focusing on that goal for a while really pushed me, and made me feel what felt like joy for the first time in my life. I finally went to Japan, and I actually had tears of joy.

I've been out of college for a couple of years now though, and it's due to mainly financial reasons. I still want to go back and finish what I've started, but I don't know when I can even do that. And what I meant before that being on the internet doesn't help, is I feel like people like me are always such an easy punching bag for people to mock. I'm just another stupid "weeb", and I'm pathetic for it. I need to start acting white, and be 'merican, even though I hate my life here. It seems socially acceptable to mock someone like me, and it hurts no matter what. Whenever I've embraced who I am, I've felt better about myself, but the more I do that, the more I feel open to mockery.

It's quarantine syndrome. I had been depression free from 2016 until about February of this year. Coincidentally, I couldn't seem to make sense of the madness of working 3 jobs and right when I was starting to accept it...Mexico locked everything down. I lost all three jobs and there's no stimulus check down here. I've been in and out of phases and it's tough on my family. I go into panic/anxiety disorders, depression, insomnia, and heightened social anxiety. I don't even want to walk out on my front patio because I would prefer not to see neighbors or anyone.

About the internet. To me I've noticed that people alienate the same way as they do to me IRL. So, it's not just you that gets mocked. I mean, the mocking shows they at least want to invest attention into what you say or do. I seem to notice that people would rather ignore anything I say than mock it. I feel like that sometimes on GAF ( eg -- I've had at least 2 threads in the past month to completely unanswered and just disappear into nothing...not the fault of anyone...maybe I'm just getting boring). However, GAF is still more of a relief and I'd rather be ignored here than alienated by those who know me personally. I won't open Facebook or any social media anymore. My family in the States doesn't even care if I talk or don't. I haven't heard from them in any more of method since December 2019.

It helps to get involved with the things you love even if others don't get it. I've been into anime for about 25-years now and watching it with my wife of playing video games with her helps. Try getting outside and maybe take a manga with you to read somewhere quiet. It helps me to not stay in the house the whole day.

 

[eot]

I wasn't feeling sad but I wasn't happy, I was just "whatever, no emotion, what's the point", it crippled my feelings and I missed feeling a rush with things I like.

I'm a bit like this and have been for ages. Not on meds or anything, and it's not quite as extreme as you describe, but it's some degree of apathy. Not enjoying games, movies, tv shows, concerts etc. not looking forward to anything, not wanting anything. I have an easier time feeling happy for other people than for myself, and I like doing things for other people that makes them genuinely happy. For example, I'd rather buy a nice gift for someone else than something for myself because I know I don't really care that much. Started noticing this when a friend of mine asked me what the best thing that happened to me in the past year was, and I couldn't think of a single thing (same for bad things tbh).

 

[Meowzers]

I'm on Sertraline right now and keep thinking about drowning. Just feel guilty about leaving family behind. Seriously think I'll be dead in a month's time.