Drealmcc0y
Banned
What changes have you made in the last week? Have you made any?
Ive seen you write about 3 times that you are going to change your breakfast from dunkin donuts to something a lot better. Have you made this change?
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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What changes have you made in the last week? Have you made any?
Ive seen you write about 3 times that you are going to change your breakfast from dunkin donuts to something a lot better. Have you made this change?
Drealmcc0y
Banned
That's awesome man. Build on that success. Never give up.
that's a success? doesn't feel like one.
Drealmcc0y
Banned
We all have to start off small to make the big changes.
Conciliator
Banned
I can't say I know how you feel because I've never had to deal with being overweight, but regarding exercise and rage: I've had great success channeling anger into exercise. When you get pissed, at the world, at other people, but especially at yourself, take it out on your body(not literally). Just go as hard you can. Run, lift weights, do pull ups(I have this great pull up bar that you put on your door hinge, can't remember the brand name but it was relatively cheap), do anything. If you are hesitant to exercise at home because there are people around you not immensely supportive of your exercising efforts, aggressively ignore them.
There are some things about ourselves that we don't get to choose, but we get some say in the shape of our bodies. And if you're in your early 30s that last thing you are is old.
Sometimes it helps to think of depression as the enemy. There's no way I'm letting that fucker win! Life is both more terrible and more beautiful than anyone can possibly imagine. You've experienced the terrible; it sounds like BS, but it will make the beautiful all that much more so.
You've got to keep fighting. If you've really reached the end of your rope, I'll beat my drum again here, but ECT is a miracle treatment. As far as we've figured out, you're a great candidate for it. You could be feeling better in a week.
Must you continue to beat this drum and call ECT a miracle treatment? There are some considerable downsides to it and also criticism.
I know, it's a bit much, huh? It's just that ECT has such a bad rap and the way they do it now is so much safer, which way fewer side effects. It's basically the fastest, most effective thing we've got in psychiatry. Having spent more time with our ECT center, I'm blown away by the improvements I've seen.
The main downside is memory loss, but they've made great strides in limiting that. Having followed several patients, the worst I've seen so far is a loss of memory for the day the treatment was given. For people who are very, very sick, like some of the people in this thread, it's a viable, and perhaps superior, treatment to meds or therapy alone.
I call it a miracle because I saw two of the most depressed people I've ever seen sitting up and smiling after 8-10 treatments, 1-2 weeks. That's astonishing, especially with a disease as complex as depression.
I'm happy to talk meds, therapy, whatever, but too many people write off ECT because their only exposure is from movies.
starchild excalibur
Member
I like your brother's attitude, but as a bigger guy myself, I hope he's getting regular physicals and checking on his heart from time to time. He genuinely seems like a wonderful person and it would be a shame to have him experience something like a heart attack due to his weight.
But I do agree with you that personality counts for a ton. I also fall into the 'nice guy' category, although unlike some nice guys I don't get mad that someone's not into me or act nice in order to get something from them. I act nice because I think it's nice to be, well, nice. I know that personality counts for a lot, but I'm still trying to lose weight because I think that'll ultimately help out my personality and confidence issues. At the end of the day, it's all in the spirit of improving my behavior, though.
Discounting the positive is a classic thought distortion in CBT. I'm guilty of the same thing. If I don't make everything better NOW, I think, "I haven't done anything!" But change is going to be gradual. You have years and years of depressed thinking to overcome. Every victory should be celebrated. There aren't that many grand, instant, life-changing events in life (having a kid is the big one that comes to mind). Instead, you fight a series of tiny battles, one at a time. After enough time, you'll find that you're actually winning the war. Don't discount the positive, or engage in all or none thinking - either I get completely better or it doesn't matter.
Just keep at it. If you can do some little thing, do it, and feel good about doing it. Measure your own progress, don't try to compare yourself to others.
The simple truth is that most people, with or without treatment, WILL recover from depression. This does not need to define your life.
you've got a whole team in this thread of people in the same situation you're in. We're all here to support each other. If you need something, ask. We all have different things to offer. And your depression may be different than mine, so we can compare notes. And by helping each other, we actually help ourselves.
Go look at the wikipedia list of famous people who suffered from depression. You're in good company.
I ended up having kind of a huge mood drop today; lately, I've been consistently low, but today I was just hit with a feeling of absolute dread. I was made aware of how lonely I actually feel right now, and also that my self-esteem had either regressed or probably never had gotten better like I had thought it did.
I've been playing with the idea of going back on meds, but just knowing how it was last time, ie, not helpful in a way that mattered, I'm kind of hesitant.
I've been playing with the idea of going back on meds, but just knowing how it was last time, ie, not helpful in a way that mattered, I'm kind of hesitant.
i thought because of the other factors, ect was questionable for a person like me
if i do ECT, and it does nothing for me, will you be ok with me giving up?
It's totally your choice, but if the imaging studies are okay, and your doctor is okay with it, I still think ECT could be a good choice for you. If not that, a ketamine study, or a buprenorphine study - if you're really hitting rock bottom and not rebounding, you need to take a drastic measure. Living every day in agony in just unsustainable. I would at least ask you doc about ECT, TMS, other newer therapies. Maybe you won't qualify, but the doc might not even think about it if you don't bring it up. I can help you draft a list of questions and help you do your homework. You can go into the doc's office armed with he ammo you need to get kick his or her thinking to the next level.
I really want to see you get better and I think there are some definite therapies to try, but they won't be at the top of the doc's list. We can talk more over PM.
I'm all for getting you the help you need. Just let me know how I can help.
Without derailing things too much, what is the wait like to see a shrink in your part of the world? How are the costs covered? If you could just mention a country or region of a country in your post, and a approximately how long it takes you to see a shrink, or if you rely on your primary care doc to manage things. With insurance-based systems, are psych visits counted the same as "regular" visits? Do you have a limited number of psych visits? It varies widely in the US. I'm curious how things work/don't work in other areas.
Thanks in advance for taking a few seconds to tell me about the state of psychiatric medicine in your corner of the world. I get exceptional psych care though my employer (a large hospital) but they only recently removed the restrictions on the number of visits you can have in a year. I'm glad they changed it, as that's fucking ridiculous.
There are multiple (fill in the bubble)test for depression. The HAM-D is supposed to be administered by a practitioner, but you can go ahead and try it yourself.
http://healthnet.umassmed.edu/mhealth/HAMD.pdf
You do the Beck's Depression Inventory by yourself:
http://www.fehb.org/CSE/CCSEConference2012/BeckDepressionInventory.pdf
In either case, I tend to score lower than I feel the severity of my symptoms merits, mainly because I don't have suicidal thoughts. So the score won't be a hard and fast number, but it will give you an idea of how bad things have gotten. Try them both and see what they say.
There are other tests, too, but they might not show up in clinic as much. Still, it's great to be able to have a number you can point to and say, "I'm at least this depressed!"
Thanks in advance for taking a few seconds to tell me about the state of psychiatric medicine in your corner of the world. I get exceptional psych care though my employer (a large hospital) but they only recently removed the restrictions on the number of visits you can have in a year. I'm glad they changed it, as that's fucking ridiculous.
There are multiple (fill in the bubble)test for depression. The HAM-D is supposed to be administered by a practitioner, but you can go ahead and try it yourself.
http://healthnet.umassmed.edu/mhealth/HAMD.pdf
You do the Beck's Depression Inventory by yourself:
http://www.fehb.org/CSE/CCSEConference2012/BeckDepressionInventory.pdf
In either case, I tend to score lower than I feel the severity of my symptoms merits, mainly because I don't have suicidal thoughts. So the score won't be a hard and fast number, but it will give you an idea of how bad things have gotten. Try them both and see what they say.
There are other tests, too, but they might not show up in clinic as much. Still, it's great to be able to have a number you can point to and say, "I'm at least this depressed!"
fredrancour
Member
Well shoot. I fall into the severe depression caegory on the self-inventory, just barely.32
That information will be important to your shrink. They'll want to see trends over time, they'll want an initial estimate of the severity of your symptoms. Without biomakers, these inventories are sort of the best tool we have.If you're at "severe," you really need some help ASAP. Having lived with a solid diagnosis of severe depression, I can tell you exactly how that felt as compared to times when I was moderately on minorly depressed. Really sever depression leaves you in an almost comatose state where you physically cannot walk, or speak about a whisper. The internal med docs were frustrated because the patient wasn't cooperating, but I knew what kind of effort it took for this patient to do ANYTHING.
Check out the album "Pink Moon" by Nick Drake. He eventually killed himself with tricyclic antidepressants. What's important is, as you hear him sing, you can sense the struggle he has in saying each word. You can tell it's painful and exhausting. People who haven't been on our side, haven't been depressed or find our irrational behavior infuriating just don't get it. Maybe the best analogy I've come up with is, what if everyday you woke up feeling that your best friend died. That's how it feels. But even worse, you'll see that friend and your brain gets totally fucked up. So you have this overwhelming, irrational fear that your best friend has died.
There's a common refrain of "get up and do something, get a job, etc. etc." That's all greata dvice, but depression can be just as debilitating as any number of other disease. And with the dramatically increased risk of suicide, I think it's appropriate to think of mood disorders as potentially life threatening. People don't like to talk about it, but suicide is a leading cause of death among the quite young and among the elderly. You need to get this thing under control and find your reasons too live. It will probably be a mix of medical therapies, counseling, introspection, and turning things around and being an advocate for the depressed. It's a powerful message to tell someone who basically can't function at all, "I can really empathize with you. I suffer from depression and I know what it can be like. I can't pretend to know what you're going though, but I've been severely depressed and here I am today. I have my ups and downs, but the downs aren't as low and I can fight them with CBT." I had patients who were shocked that I lived with depression for ten years and here I was a medical student. I thought that was a powerful message.
When you recover, you need to remember what it was like and try to find a way to help other people with depression or anorexia or whatever. The only way we're all going to make our peace with this disease is to band together and fight it out as a team. Ultimately, it's a solo journey, but you'll hear us yelling from the top of the cave, pushing you forward.
Did any of that help? You can PM me, or I can give you my phone number. I am surviving depression. Not every day is amazing, but at least on bad days I feel nad and on good days I feel good. Before, everything just felt bad, so the whole risk-reward structure broke down.
Anyway, don't be afraid to really throw yourself at this problem. It will take time and energy, but you need to find people who have be there, are there, who can tell you that there is a future. I'm certainly happy to be one of those people. Just ask and I can give you my cell#. We're team depression, and we need to watch each others' backs, you know? And I have plenty of psych residents and consulting physicians who I can ask about really difficult questions. For me, this is a way to pay back all of the nice things people did for me, I can't hep bu be empathetic, and ultimately, it'll make me a better shrink. So never feel like you're wasting my time.
I really want you to feel better and step into my shoes. Next time there's a depression thread, I want tot see you in there saying, "I beat this and so can you!"
As always, if there's anything I can do to help - looking up meds, reading about diagnoses and the care thereof, sending articles your way, recommending books, just say the work.
Bagels
I got a 49 by filling it in myself (the first one), but it has no other references
edit: 48 on the second one
The one caveat is they usually say, "in the past two weeks have you experienced..."
For the 21-question Ham-D, you only score the first 17 questions.
Here's the scoring:
HAM-D Scoring Instructions:
Sum the scores from the first 17 items.
0-7 = Normal
8-13 = Mild Depression
14-18 = Moderate Depression
19-22 = Severe Depression
≥ 23 = Very Severe Depression
If you're in that last category, you REALLY need help.
I'm more comfortable with the Beck inventory as we use it more and it is designed to be used by patients. The HAM-D is filled in by the examiner.
For the Beck scale, scoring looks like this:
1-10____________________These ups and downs are considered normal 11-16___________________ Mild mood disturbance 17-20___________________Borderline clinical depression 21-30___________________Moderate depression 31-40___________________Severe depression over 40__________________Extreme depression
A PERSISTENT SCORE OF 17 OR ABOVE INDICATES THAT YOU MAY NEED MEDICAL TREATMENT.
On both scales, you're testing positive for probably severe depression. You need intensive treatment right now. You need serious help - even more serious than anonymous message board help. You need to get tot a hospital, use whatever scoring system they use and, assuming the results are similar, you need to be admitted. No one should live like that. I implore you to seek out professional help. There's plenty of hope for you, but this isn't the kind of depression that will just go away on its own. You need skilled care Just looking at those numbers and chatting with you, I'm really concerned.
You can PM me and we can talk on the phone and look at your options, but you need to do SOMETHING to bring that depression down to a manageable level. At the very least, you need to fill out a form at the doc's office and, if your scores look like this, they shouls treat you very seriously.
One current theory is that ADs make you brain more plastic - meaning that you're able to grow new neurons and make new connections. IF that's the case, you can't really be too far gone, especially at a young age. You need to break bad connections and replace them with positive ones. It makes sense to do the drug treatment and talk therapy = set your brain up for change and then let it make new, positive connections.
Afternoon Depression Gaf!
Never posted in here before, I usually lurk and read the helpful insightful comments from other users.
Feel like I just need an outlet to speak my mind for a bit. I've been feeling really down and depressed lately but I'm kicking myself because I don't feel like I have a valid reason to be which is a bad circle.
I hate myself for being an under achiever. At school I basically failed because of family and personal issues at the time. Never went to college / uni just went straight to work in a boring mindless retail environment. Got a new job that is just as boring and unsociable hours to boot, salary is rubbish but it pays the bills - just!
I was in the lucky situation to purchase my own home a few years ago, which I'm forever grateful for, I remind my self everyday of this. I currently live there with my GF and 2 year old son. I just feel unhappy all the time and cannot understand why. Nothing makes me happy, I feel emotionless. A lot of my friends are still living with parents/single/out drinking/having fun and it really bums me out seeing them happy all the time.
They always say how lucky I am with the house,gf,kid. But I don't see it that way. I hate myself for saying this and it's disgusting but how on earth are they happier than me. It drives me crazy!
I want to do a course or study something, just something meaningless that will give me a sense of accomplishment but I'm too frightened of failing or not being good at it. I'm one of them people with no talents, nothing comes easy for me. I'm not skilful at anything, I'm boring and seem happier when on my own.
26 years old feeling old,helpless and lost so lost. No idea what I'm doing any more, I have no goals nothing to stride for. I cant muster any enthusiasm for anything. All I do is sit and judge or moan at people that are happier than myself.
This was all pointless but needed to be said.
Never posted in here before, I usually lurk and read the helpful insightful comments from other users.
Feel like I just need an outlet to speak my mind for a bit. I've been feeling really down and depressed lately but I'm kicking myself because I don't feel like I have a valid reason to be which is a bad circle.
I hate myself for being an under achiever. At school I basically failed because of family and personal issues at the time. Never went to college / uni just went straight to work in a boring mindless retail environment. Got a new job that is just as boring and unsociable hours to boot, salary is rubbish but it pays the bills - just!
I was in the lucky situation to purchase my own home a few years ago, which I'm forever grateful for, I remind my self everyday of this. I currently live there with my GF and 2 year old son. I just feel unhappy all the time and cannot understand why. Nothing makes me happy, I feel emotionless. A lot of my friends are still living with parents/single/out drinking/having fun and it really bums me out seeing them happy all the time.
They always say how lucky I am with the house,gf,kid. But I don't see it that way. I hate myself for saying this and it's disgusting but how on earth are they happier than me. It drives me crazy!
I want to do a course or study something, just something meaningless that will give me a sense of accomplishment but I'm too frightened of failing or not being good at it. I'm one of them people with no talents, nothing comes easy for me. I'm not skilful at anything, I'm boring and seem happier when on my own.
26 years old feeling old,helpless and lost so lost. No idea what I'm doing any more, I have no goals nothing to stride for. I cant muster any enthusiasm for anything. All I do is sit and judge or moan at people that are happier than myself.
This was all pointless but needed to be said.
I know this sounds stupid, but until you make baby steps, you'll never learn how to properly make the big ones. You have to do small things first to work up the mettle in order to make and sustain the big things that change your life.
I'm trying to wrestle with that now. Everything feels like a big step to me, even if its little.
I just did that ham-d on myself and it told me what I already know, i'm about a 26. Oh from the first 17? a little less then
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
I actually share this opinion, except that I would 'rot on it' in order to do the things that I want and think I can make my living (and thereby: life) on.
It's hard to do anything (particularly useful) when no one around you believes in your capacities to do something that they haven't considered or just can't do.
I don't buy into the 'believe in yourself' trope, that's just magical thinking nonsense to me. But I do believe, going by Stephen Fry's "the secret life of the manic depressive", that people who manage to deal with their condition have people around them who believe in them, even if they can't or won't believe in themselves, despite all the evidence to the contrary (which in Fry's case, is a damn library of evidence. And yet, he still has to accept a regular period of disbelief, as part of being bipolar).
It definitely is part of a larger treatment plan. They'll probably put you on a medication, too. Or you'll need to return for multiple ECT sessions.
As to memory loss, it's highly variable. I've been asking around and, with the newest treatment, the worst I'm seeing is loss of memory from the day of the treatment. It can certainly be worse, especially if they do both sides of the brain, but the latest techniques are pretty good at sparing your memory. I can't guarantee that, but you have to balance the loss of some memory against the chance that you'll have a dramatic decrease in your depressive symptoms.
ThisWreckage
Banned
I can't get ahead financially for shit. I hit a deer last night while going over to a friend's house and it destroyed the front end of my car. There goes my first paycheck and so much more. I'm so sick of working just to pay for misfortune.
I understand where you're coming from, even though I'm younger than you, and unemployed...
If you want to take something 'meaningless', I recommend taking an art course, even if you've never done art before. If you do art as a hobby, you have no commitments to it, no reason to be "good" at it; it's just something you can do on your own time when you feel like it. It can be very rewarding, and it's a great outlet for negative feelings.
TheyTookOurJobs
Member
Well, hopefully getting a job will lift my feelings of depression and anxiety.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
I know this feel all too well, it especially sucks when you stop really spending money on stupid things, but your money still runs dry. Trying to save up, too.
I'm really think I've got some kind of depression going on.
I hate my job with a passion. My wife and I are having a lot of problems and I'm fully expecting we're going to get divorced in the future. Oh yea, I'm also going to be deploying to Afghanistan in a little over a month (I'm in the Air Force). The military is another issue, my enlistment is up next summer, I hate it with a passion. I hate my job (used to love it), I hate my co-workers (the biggest group of fucking morons ever), I hate the squadron I'm in (leadership is throwing us under the bus to make themselves look good all the fucking time), I hate the base I'm at (Malmstrom blows), I just hate everything about it. The issue, my wife and I are fighting about me staying in. She's almost forcing me to stay in, when I don't want to. If I stay in, I'm going to be miserable, probably even more than I am now.
Here's my life in a nutshell. I go to work at 4:30 in the morning, I spend my entire shift doing a bunch of mundane tasks for a bunch of assholes who treat me like a child (even though I'm older than most of them). I've busted my ass for that place and I've gotten nothing to show for it, yet the lazy POS's who don't do a damn thing take all of the credit. I then come home and literally do nothing, then wake up and do it all over again.
I'm going to Yellowstone with my family tomorrow and I should be excited for it, yet I really don't give a damn. Nothing excites me anymore, it literally just feels like I'm going through the motions. I've even lost my appetite, food is just boring to me, I hate watching TV, even video games are boring.
I'm almost consistently pissed off at somebody or some thing (mostly work related), and its really impacting my marriage.
I'm honestly to the point where I just don't give a flying fuck about anything anymore. If my marriage ends, so be it, if I lose my job, so be it.
I hate how my life has turned out and I don't know what to do to correct it.
I hate my job with a passion. My wife and I are having a lot of problems and I'm fully expecting we're going to get divorced in the future. Oh yea, I'm also going to be deploying to Afghanistan in a little over a month (I'm in the Air Force). The military is another issue, my enlistment is up next summer, I hate it with a passion. I hate my job (used to love it), I hate my co-workers (the biggest group of fucking morons ever), I hate the squadron I'm in (leadership is throwing us under the bus to make themselves look good all the fucking time), I hate the base I'm at (Malmstrom blows), I just hate everything about it. The issue, my wife and I are fighting about me staying in. She's almost forcing me to stay in, when I don't want to. If I stay in, I'm going to be miserable, probably even more than I am now.
Here's my life in a nutshell. I go to work at 4:30 in the morning, I spend my entire shift doing a bunch of mundane tasks for a bunch of assholes who treat me like a child (even though I'm older than most of them). I've busted my ass for that place and I've gotten nothing to show for it, yet the lazy POS's who don't do a damn thing take all of the credit. I then come home and literally do nothing, then wake up and do it all over again.
I'm going to Yellowstone with my family tomorrow and I should be excited for it, yet I really don't give a damn. Nothing excites me anymore, it literally just feels like I'm going through the motions. I've even lost my appetite, food is just boring to me, I hate watching TV, even video games are boring.
I'm almost consistently pissed off at somebody or some thing (mostly work related), and its really impacting my marriage.
I'm honestly to the point where I just don't give a flying fuck about anything anymore. If my marriage ends, so be it, if I lose my job, so be it.
I hate how my life has turned out and I don't know what to do to correct it.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
It seems like more of a checklist than an test in the way most people would understand the word. Most people are going to say 'yes, very' or 'no, not at all' to most questions despite not being anywhere near as severe as they think they are (from time to time).
The concepts that are used -'derealization' for instance- would require some significant interview time for the practitioner to be able to tell whether it's there and to what degree that would be.
I don't think this is necessarily 'safe' to give to people who already the intent of being called depressed, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for pointing that out. I should have been more explicit - the HAM-D is scored by a healthcare professional. They score the test for you. The Beck Inventory is something that you can fill in yourself. In either cae, don't treat these as diagnostic tests. I offered them more as a way for people to get some sense of how severe their depression is.
Woke up after a 5 hr nap after watching legend of korra. still feeling down. i want to clean up my room and work out with my weights but i dont have the energy.
Sometimes I think about what i would look like if i am 160lbs but i cannot help to think that even at losing weight guys i like still won't go for me.
Sometimes I think about what i would look like if i am 160lbs but i cannot help to think that even at losing weight guys i like still won't go for me.
half a moon
Banned
24, unemployed, living at home, no friends. Social anxiety since first grade. School was shit every day because of it. Was in college, had a job, had decent friends, and had a girlfriend at one point, but weight, depression, social anxiety were all a big issue that hurt all of it.
Don't know what to do mangs. Prozac and Valium doesn't do a thing.
Don't know what to do mangs. Prozac and Valium doesn't do a thing.
Did anyone here ever watch "Mientras Duermes" (Sleep Tight), a recent thriller from Spain? Basically it has a main character who, because he is unable to feel happiness, tries to cause misfortune to other people as he is jealous of their ability to be happy.
I watched it yesterday and I was so scared. Because it reminded me so much of myself. I literally feel irritated by everyone I meet. I hate that other people can be happy while I can't and I often find myself secretly wishing that bad things would happen to them.
I self-tested myself with the Beck's tests for depression as well as for anxiety. According to these I have moderate depression and severe anxiety.
Mind you it has only been like this for a year now. I used to be perfectly fine before. I had no problems with my social life, or talking to people. No problems getting a girlfriend or anything. I have a successful freelance career. But a year ago or so it all started to turn to shit. Now I feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable even when I just meet people I already know.
I am also suffering from severe debilitating physical issues - I constantly feel hot and suffer from brief episodes feeling extremely hot and start to sweat for no particular reason. Even when it's cold now I start sweating within minutes after just a few minutes of walking on the street. Any just slightly stressful situations or the mildest form of nervousness, I become drenched instantly, my heart starts pounding, and it gets worse from there. I am also constantly tired. I got my thyroid tested but no issues there. Not sure what else to do. The worst thing is that I can't tell if my depression/anxiety was caused by these physical symptoms, or the physical symptoms were caused by the depression/anxiety.
I don't know if I can stand weeks of grueling therapy or stuff like that. I wish there were just some meds that I could take that might help. I will still be seeing a couple doctors for my physical problems. But I suspect they will just shrug it off.
I feel my life has come to a standstill...I don't know what to do
I watched it yesterday and I was so scared. Because it reminded me so much of myself. I literally feel irritated by everyone I meet. I hate that other people can be happy while I can't and I often find myself secretly wishing that bad things would happen to them.
I self-tested myself with the Beck's tests for depression as well as for anxiety. According to these I have moderate depression and severe anxiety.
Mind you it has only been like this for a year now. I used to be perfectly fine before. I had no problems with my social life, or talking to people. No problems getting a girlfriend or anything. I have a successful freelance career. But a year ago or so it all started to turn to shit. Now I feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable even when I just meet people I already know.
I am also suffering from severe debilitating physical issues - I constantly feel hot and suffer from brief episodes feeling extremely hot and start to sweat for no particular reason. Even when it's cold now I start sweating within minutes after just a few minutes of walking on the street. Any just slightly stressful situations or the mildest form of nervousness, I become drenched instantly, my heart starts pounding, and it gets worse from there. I am also constantly tired. I got my thyroid tested but no issues there. Not sure what else to do. The worst thing is that I can't tell if my depression/anxiety was caused by these physical symptoms, or the physical symptoms were caused by the depression/anxiety.
I don't know if I can stand weeks of grueling therapy or stuff like that. I wish there were just some meds that I could take that might help. I will still be seeing a couple doctors for my physical problems. But I suspect they will just shrug it off.
I feel my life has come to a standstill...I don't know what to do
What are your main symptoms, aside from the social anxiety? That might suggest a specific med that will work for you.
Did anyone here ever watch "Mientras Duermes" (Sleep Tight), a recent thriller from Spain? Basically it has a main character who, because he is unable to feel happiness, tries to cause misfortune to other people as he is jealous of their ability to be happy.
I watched it yesterday and I was so scared. Because it reminded me so much of myself. I literally feel irritated by everyone I meet. I hate that other people can be happy while I can't and I often find myself secretly wishing that bad things would happen to them.
I self-tested myself with the Beck's tests for depression as well as for anxiety. According to these I have moderate depression and severe anxiety.
Mind you it has only been like this for a year now. I used to be perfectly fine before. I had no problems with my social life, or talking to people. No problems getting a girlfriend or anything. I have a successful freelance career. But a year ago or so it all started to turn to shit. Now I feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable even when I just meet people I already know.
I am also suffering from severe debilitating physical issues - I constantly feel hot and suffer from brief episodes feeling extremely hot and start to sweat for no particular reason. Even when it's cold now I start sweating within minutes after just a few minutes of walking on the street. Any just slightly stressful situations or the mildest form of nervousness, I become drenched instantly, my heart starts pounding, and it gets worse from there. I am also constantly tired. I got my thyroid tested but no issues there. Not sure what else to do. The worst thing is that I can't tell if my depression/anxiety was caused by these physical symptoms, or the physical symptoms were caused by the depression/anxiety.
I don't know if I can stand weeks of grueling therapy or stuff like that. I wish there were just some meds that I could take that might help. I will still be seeing a couple doctors for my physical problems. But I suspect they will just shrug it off.
I feel my life has come to a standstill...I don't know what to do
My first thought was thyroid problem. I'd get that rechecked. Or, you could have a mixed case of anxiety and depression. Let the docs work you over and rule out the scary stuff. After that, you might be looking at depression and/or anxiety meds. Keep us updated.
The thyroid is definitely ruled out as I had it checked twice by different doctors. I will still be seeing a cardiologist and a neurologist. Certainly there is a psychological component to the whole problem now because I panic when I feel one of these episodes coming, which makes it worse. But I just can't imagine the issue is caused by depression or whatever. Sometimes I don't feel anxious and depressed and just chill at home and still have one of these episodes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of coping with shit. My dad died in December and I still have many regrets in regards to that for various reasons. And I have constant feelings of being lost my life, unsure whether I am making the right decisions etc...I constantly feel on the edge, both emotionally and physically. I also have no real friends to talk to. I have a really hard time connecting with people. In the beginning of 2011 I made a new circle of friends but recently abandoned it after realizing that I just didn't connect with anyone and feeling that they didn't really care about me either. I feel that way with almost everyone; like I'm living on another planet or something.
Ironically enough the only people I speak openly to about my feelings and now my recent health issues are 2 or 3 girls that were initially one night stands but then sort of developed into friends. But I feel like I can't make friends the "normal" way, and often question the actual value of being friends with anyone if I can't get immediate gratification or an advantage out of it (i.e. sex, career-related benefit, etc). That probably means I'm not quite right in the head.
Insane Metal
Member
Hey man. I'm in the same situation. I'm 27, also have social anxiety, I'll be unemployed in a couple of weeks. Same problems as you.
And I also feel like some of you guys said... no will to do anything... just sitting all day thinking of things... etc... it sucks.
There are some ADs that are more "activating" than others - they tend to perk you up a bit. So I take Effexor in the morning because it tends to get me moving. You can also consider augmenting with a low dose of something like ritalin (which can also improve mood). A decent psychiatrist will know which drugs are activating and which tend to be sedating. Make sure to bring it up when you see your doc.
Here's another inventory to check your depressive symptoms. I see the PHQ9 in the clinic a lot. Again, this doesn't confirm any diagnosis or anything, but it can give you a sense of how severe your depression might be.
http://www.depression-primarycare.org/clinicians/toolkits/materials/forms/phq9/
I should add that, no matter what the number says, the hallmark of depression is, is it interfering with your day to day life? You may score highly in only one category, but it might have a huge impact on your functioning. So you can look at the number, but you have to ask yourself "is this stopping me from going out, getting work done, taking care of myself, etc."
http://www.depression-primarycare.org/clinicians/toolkits/materials/forms/phq9/
I should add that, no matter what the number says, the hallmark of depression is, is it interfering with your day to day life? You may score highly in only one category, but it might have a huge impact on your functioning. So you can look at the number, but you have to ask yourself "is this stopping me from going out, getting work done, taking care of myself, etc."
Insane Metal
Member
I've been taking Venlafaxin for months now. The psyc. said it would 'cheer me up' a little. Also, I have problems sleeping... and that could be the reason why I'm always feeling tired... :/
half a moon
Banned
Hm. Well throughout school I would just barely talk to people and not spend much time with friends. I would procrastinate a lot. Weight issues bothered me.
When I was in college and with a girlfriend, I would procrastinate on school work and not talk/make new friends. I wasn't comfortable around her family.
Now I just do nothing all day and barely talk to my family. Currently a hermit.
Cymbalta seemed to work better than prozac, but I was on it in college.
10 mg of Valium doesn't do that much for me.
I've seen it "miracle" one patient....but he was not amenable to CBT...deluded and thought that hte devil was going to send him to hell for killing soneone becuase he heard as much directly from Lucifer in his dream. Lifer inside jail who had all these problems got out on parole, has a wife adn house and car.....20 years he lived in a mental health hospital...out of all the guys I saw inside the hospital teh staff would always rank him as lest likely to get better...ECT was the last resort and it worked......BUT ....I don't recommend it to people unless they really have exhausted their efforts at CBT...CBT is alife long friend, can have dramtic results but most of the time the resutls are gradual and not obvious until one day you look back and sa to yourself...WTF? Why didn't I just think this way and do these things earlier/faster??? The difference at that pointis you say "Oh well" an get on with your daily tasks where as in the past you would go on a spiral downward and get down on yourself for not doing it sooner. lol. most people "waste" theri time growing up...that's what groing up is for.....most people are not grownup ever, some do itit in their 40's and 50's if they are lucky.
Holy frig man if i sleep during the day that long I feeel like shooting someone also!!!!!! remember the to 5 things ot do in no particular order (3 mightbe the most important):
1.) eat well
2.) sleep well
3.) think well
4.) avoid chemicals that are not prescribed
5.) exercise a tonne
if your situation is such that you are not able to do well at these 5 things on a semi consistent basis ......consider outside help.
with reference to number three here:
Sorry if my words did not help...I am someone that definitely knows how bad things can get for people....its just that the same patronizing comments are actually the ones that eventually work for people...so as professionals who have helped oursleves and our patients, we know what he risks and rewards are for certain approaches (at least i do).....on a site like this, i would never be as bold as bagels....without being live in person you can do a whole lot of bad for a person despite good intentions.
It really hurts to learn that you really are the only one to blame for your situation but at some point it will be the first step to recovery...sorry if I was too harsh with my examples etc. The reality is that out of 6 buiilon people, half of which are female and another greater portiona re not attracted to fat gay men...the reality is that ther still are several in your small community who ARE....and they may be less fat themselves than you think....you can increase your chances of finding them by having a postive attitude, being open to relocating etc.....there may not be a God to blame, so don't bother too much with that one.....then again there may be....but if there is and the last really come first and first come last there will be a balancing of the pain you feel ....Notwithstnading, even better results for someone to over come this pain and encourage others to do the same.....there are very few "gifts" out there that can not be acqured through had work and practice.....so either way, it would be best if you chose to be more positive. THis is not necessarily going to be received well but I work with a lot of sex offenders that say the same shit and justify their offence with it.......YOU are a great person fr not giving in to "doing something extreme!" a lot of people in your situation offend man....you are a lot better than them and ARE worth it to the world if you continue to suffer and at least fo not hurt yourelf or others...thereby making it worse for others.....that is in itself casue for a ssamll if only minscule positive?
Bagels, you are a martyr and a saint......but if you want to be a psycchiatrist, you probably know better than to assume people will score themselves apprpriately on these tests as most people will allow their black adn white thinking to taint their answers...hence the reason why the test says that it should only be given by professionals.........there is a reason for this disclaimers....be wie ot follow them.....a person who sscores in 40's as we have seen jsut means they are a black and white thinker and are not discriminating enough to score it the way the developers intended.
people....if you are not sure you have clinical depression of not...you probably do not.....the severity has to get REALLY bad...wth that said there are probably some really tough stalwarts out there that should probably get medical help....fast....I realize the states has no health plans for evveryone....AND even if you do get a subsidy or can afford help, the fact that you need to shop around usually for a good therapist/pschiatrist who is NOT a quack exists...you really best invest in getting off this board and into a real office...there is only so much even real therapists like mysefl and bagels can do here without knowingthe intracacies of your case.
My role on here is only to inspire the people who can help themselves do it without help, and encourage those that can't seeem to do it on their own to get a real therapist.....Bagels is a saint but will not last inthe busoness if he/she eventually takes on "real" cases and continues to get phone messages from you people as well in his/her "free" time. I can not afford ot give as much time as Bagels as this site is supposed to be my retreat from my job which party is to help peope with depression.....so I will not extend my cell phone number to a thousands of people on an intercontinental website.....but will do a referral if you can not do the legwork to find a number yourself...I can do that much for GAF....of whom owes me nothing...great site.
sorry for my typing but A.) I don't haveth etime or energy to help as muc as I would like....correcting typos takes too much time and energy!!!!!! lol
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