Depression

Status
Not open for further replies.
Hullo, thread! I've been lurking for a good while, figured I'd post and get used to talking.

JohnDoe said:
http://depressedtest.com/
Is this test of any use at all? I got extremely high on cyclothymia :/
Click to expand...
Major Depression: High-Moderate
Dysthymia: High
Bipolar Disorder: Extremely High
Cyclothymia: Very High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High-Moderate
Postpartum Depression: N/A

I was initially resistant to the label, the meds, the long and short of it. But my friends asked if I was depressed. My family asked. My doctor asked. I said then that I avoided medication, which was true. What I didn't mention was that I was the last to ask, that I refused to consider the possibility. I went on my way, and absent of any outside cause, I went off to have one of the most hellish weeks I've ever experienced. Lost so much sleep in what I can only describe as my mind writhing like a cornered animal, my thoughts running off the rails into various states of panic and disorder, my internal thermometer racing and a deepening sense of exhaustion settling in. It was though as my entire body was rebelling against the conceit that I didn't need help, and a week of that state laid me so low that I no longer cared to hold onto my pride. I needed and need help. I've been on Cipralex for a little over a month now, and though there's bad moments, it seems to be smoothing things out comparatively. At this point I don't want to do without it. Change is funny.
 
Agent Cooper said:
Ever since we broke up, I cannot stop thinking about him and when I do my chest gets all tight and my stomach hurts.

He was terrible, he was a bad boyfriend, he had so many issues and he was just... dumb. But I miss him.

How do I stop this.

It's making this whole anxiety+depression thing worse.
Click to expand...

time. you know he was bad, and bad for you, but you miss him. that's natural. you can't just decide to stop missing somebody, but as time passes the pain will fade away. at least to a manageable level.
 
sphinx said:
do you guys have music that make you instantly feel better??

I don't know how or why but Toto's "Africa" puts me in a good mode, unlike many other songs I like but don't do it for me when I am feeling down.
Click to expand...
Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Down on the corner". No matter how shitty I may feel, whenever those drums start playing, I automatically smile. After the song is over I often start feeling bad again, but during those 3 minutes every problem seems to stop existing. That's how much I love that fucking band, and that song.
 
I took that test and it said I didn't have depression. I didn't think I did, anyway, because I've had serious depression before and I can recognize it when I'm experiencing it. But lately I've felt a lot of angst, maybe it's my early 20's but it feels like my life is going to waste. I spend most of my time fantasizing about things I know little about -- relationships, having a job, feeling successful, traveling. It gets to be hard sometimes to face reality, which has been nothing but disappointment. I really want change in my life but I'm not sure how to do it. And I hold myself back because I'm deeply afraid of failure. Although the irony is I already feel like a failure to myself, but for some irrational reason I am unable to take any risks.

Emily Chu said:
some days I don't even get out of bed

I'm not exactly depressed most of the time, but I have a very hard time finding fucks to give

I've probably ran out sometime in mid 2005

EXX9ml.jpg


I've had GFs and relationshits before though

and I've sold mostly everything I've own though craigslist over the past 2 years or so

only have a phone and a laptop now a days so idk

I'm self employed and 26 living in a single room apartment with a BR in Brooklyn NY.
Click to expand...

What do you do for employment, Emily? Also, nice Lenovo. I have one too, it's doing great for me.
 
I know we were talking about songs that help, and this song helps me a lot:

http://youtu.be/VYJlzvBwDeY

Some of you know I am super obsessed with lyrics, and these lyrics describe depression and give hope at the same time, so I love that.

"But I will fight, for this right.
And each moment of it's life.
Till I witness all the differences yet to heal.
So may the road I've yet to take, leave a smile across my face.
Till the laughter sheds the darkness far behind.
For I still belong in the cradle of humankind."
 
Per an anonymous suggestion (thanks, Pau!), the first Depression-GAF roundtable is going to be about depression and relationships. I'll send out invites soon - I sort of have a group in mind to test this out (who already mostly know each other), spanning a range of relationships (and lack thereof). That'll happen...I'm not sure when. I should have another interview up before that one.


Here's my contribution to the music discussion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eetIgGXH6DA

The Mountain Goats - "This Year" is just an awesome anthem for depression. It always returns a bit of my fighting spirit.
 
I didn't get any sleep last night, I got my 3rd warning yesterday for the course.

I really don't want to be unemployed again. I don't think I could cope having another winter period without a job or not studying.

At least I'm doing something which makes me feel I have some purpose.... I think.

My best friend told me to look for jobs again, he's probably right. I just wish I had the time, then again facing that period of getting no replies for months daunts me.
 
Major Depression: Moderate
Dysthymia: Slight
Bipolar Disorder: High
Cyclothymia: Extremely High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Slight
Postpartum Depression: N/A

Yeah I kinda agree.
 
Bagels said:
Beat them alone? The success rate for some of these things (quitting drinking, say) is not mind-blowing even with optimal care (it's actually not bad, but relapse rates are still depressing) - if you really, really want to change things, you need to be motivated and willing to take steps to maximize your chances. If you can, find good professional help that will work WITH you and that you actually like.

I know the face to face thing is hard. I'm happy to chat with you on Skype about options and approaches, which has the benefit of you not having to see my face (which is also a huge drawback, as I am a beautiful, beautiful man - feel free to back me up ANYONE). I'm only a student, so it's by no means professional advice (maybe pretty solid minor league advice?), but it's something.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your advice and that offer. I might take you up on it.

heidern said:
Yeah, fake it till you become it as a wise woman once said.

Other strategies you can use include:
Don't take it too seriously. Don't think I've got big news, I'm depressed, I have to tell you my life story, you have to help me!!! Think small, just fyi I've been feeling a bit down. Anways let's get some ice cream.

Say something like, "I haven't been sleeping so well." The other person will ask how come? and away you go.

Write a text message with some of the issues. Then make the decision to send it. Then when you meet it will be easy to talk about. You could even send a vague message like "I got some problems, but I find it hard to talk about them"
Click to expand...

She does know that I do not sleep well, but as I said before, I'm really good at playing things down. Basically the way I communicate no one is bound to take it serious.
It is not that I didn't have the oppurtunities to talk to her about it in the past, she pretty much called me out on my eating disorder, but the moment anything like this comes up I just go into complete lock down.
 
I've been put on 20mg Citalopram. Took three visits to the doctor before they would help me. I started cutting myself and getting drunk every day (drunk now tbh =/). Side effect is being unable to have an orgasm... I can get hard, but no climax. Not too worried ATM considering I'm in no mood for sex.
 
Bagels said:
Per an anonymous suggestion (thanks, Pau!), the first Depression-GAF roundtable is going to be about depression and relationships. I'll send out invites soon - I sort of have a group in mind to test this out (who already mostly know each other), spanning a range of relationships (and lack thereof). That'll happen...I'm not sure when. I should have another interview up before that one.
Click to expand...
Interesting, but that stuff doesn't apply to me at all. I'll wait for the "Depression and games" segment (?)
 
just for the record:

+ 1 for Jazz (and classical music)


Also, I find that (too much?) coffee can actually stir up a "flash" of inexplicable sadness. Maybe that's just an association with my jaw muscles contracting (coffee is an irritant, as far as I can tell), but that happens sometimes anyway.

To boot, I've heard the exact opposite of Bagel's claim towards coffee (caffeine) as well: that (over-consumption) of caffeine correlates with increased depression and other things.

An overdose of it, or just too much daily dosage of it (like the 4 cups I do :\ ) is apparently also associated with a large number of mental health issues as well, including symptoms of psychosis and full blown hallucinations at the top.
That said, these same symptoms are caused by sleep deprivation and caffeine specifically blocks the body's ability to register fatigue, so these symptoms might be a one-two punch kind of deal.


I think the key word in the positive effect book is "mild" consumption.

And of course: the effects of any form of nutrition are immensely complex, hard to measure or even study to an effective degree, and rely on statistical methods (epidemiology) that are not exactly reliable for evidence.
The base line comment on the effects of nutrition is always: "we don't know / no effect".

Exception being vitamin or nutritional substance specific studies, like violent incidents in prisons as controlled for the type nutrition the inmates receive.
There is some compelling evidence in those concerns to suggest that modern food is heavily deprived of essential substances that our bodies require for both physical and mental regulation.

If you have the money and time to read up on health in relation to food: do so. It will probably make your mind "sturdier" in resisting depression, even though it won't cure the issue that causes it.
(but then I'm an asshole for believing that depression is primarily socially induced behavior combined with nutrition effects).
(also, I have not read Bagel's paper.)

Sorry for the rant, but thanks for reading.



edit:

from the linked 'test':

Major Depression: Slight
Dysthymia: High-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Very Slight
Cyclothymia: Slight
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Slight-Moderate
Postpartum Depression: N/A

WHY IS IT WRONG TO HATE FALL MORE THAN WINTER? GAAAAAAAH!
 
PumpkinPie said:
I've been put on 20mg Citalopram. Took three visits to the doctor before they would help me. I started cutting myself and getting drunk every day (drunk now tbh =/). Side effect is being unable to have an orgasm... I can get hard, but no climax. Not too worried ATM considering I'm in no mood for sex.
Click to expand...

That will go away after a while.

Provided I'm with a hot guy, I can pop in a few seconds. Hahaha...
 
Another day... More pain in the chest... More longing... More obsessing... The inability to get work done.

Some people call this a terrible day... I call it Thursday.
 
Well, my girlfriend dumped me after seeing a text from a girl that I promised her not to text to again.

I guess it's my own fault, but I've never cheated on her and I would never cheat. They were texts like: "You're cute." and "When will I see you again?". I stopped texting her for about 3-4 months until she started talking to me about being rejected by a guy because he was in love with someone else. I told her it would be alright and that I could come over if she wanted to talk.

Today, I jumped in the shower and when I came out I could immediately see that something was up. She was acting very pissed off and didn't say a word. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she read my texts and that I'm not to be trusted. She told me to give her back the keys from her place and to fuck off. I went outside and she threw my toothbrush behind me, on the street.

I called her a few hours later and she said that we'll never be together again, and when she says something she means it. She's a very strong girl.

So I feel like absolute shit (I've been dumped before and know what it feels like) and I really, really want to kill myself right now. I'm not sure how yet.
 
eravulgaris said:
Well, my girlfriend dumped me after seeing a text from a girl that I promised her not to text to again.

I guess it's my own fault, but I've never cheated on her and I would never cheat. They were texts like: "You're cute." and "When will I see you again?". I stopped texting her for about 3-4 months until she started talking to me about being rejected by a guy because he was in love with someone else. I told her it would be alright and that I could come over if she wanted to talk.

Today, I jumped in the shower and when I came out I could immediately see that something was up. She was acting very pissed off and didn't say a word. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she read my texts and that I'm not to be trusted. She told me to give her back the keys from her place and to fuck off. I went outside and she threw my toothbrush behind me, on the street.

I called her a few hours later and she said that we'll never be together again, and when she says something she means it. She's a very strong girl.

So I feel like absolute shit (I've been dumped before and know what it feels like) and I really, really want to kill myself right now. I'm not sure how yet.
Click to expand...


All I am asking from you is please don't do anything rash while you're still in the heat of the moment. Nothing good ever comes out of that. It will get better. If she read your texts, that's bad in itself, but I don't want to get into that. For now, just please try and breathe (there are breathing exercises over the past 2 pages!) and don't do anything stupid.

And I'm sorry, you deserve better.
 
eravulgaris said:
Well, my girlfriend dumped me after seeing a text from a girl that I promised her not to text to again.

I guess it's my own fault, but I've never cheated on her and I would never cheat. They were texts like: "You're cute." and "When will I see you again?". I stopped texting her for about 3-4 months until she started talking to me about being rejected by a guy because he was in love with someone else. I told her it would be alright and that I could come over if she wanted to talk.

Today, I jumped in the shower and when I came out I could immediately see that something was up. She was acting very pissed off and didn't say a word. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she read my texts and that I'm not to be trusted. She told me to give her back the keys from her place and to fuck off. I went outside and she threw my toothbrush behind me, on the street.

I called her a few hours later and she said that we'll never be together again, and when she says something she means it. She's a very strong girl.

So I feel like absolute shit (I've been dumped before and know what it feels like) and I really, really want to kill myself right now. I'm not sure how yet.
Click to expand...
Apart from the fact that the end of a relationship probably should never be a reason for even considering suicide, how long have you been together and how old are you.
 
Nezumi said:
Apart from the fact that the end of a relationship probably should never be a reason for even considering suicide, how long have you been together and how old are you.
Click to expand...

I'm 22 and we've been together for about 2 years. But she's always been part of the same group of friends.
 
eravulgaris said:
I'm 22 and we've been together for about 2 years. But she's always been part of the same group of friends.
Click to expand...

Ok, breaking up after two years because of this... you might consider that she was looking for a reason to dump you. I'm not going to give you the whole you are only 22 and there is plenty of time for you to find the right one, yadayada, speech right now. I know you don't want to hear it, but you might want to keep it in your head, you know for later. :)

Still, killing yourself over that? Not worth it. Cool down, or get angry. Call some friends, let them pick you up. Don't do anything that you can't even regret afterwards because it is final.
 
Empowe said:
Major Depression: Slight
Dysthymia: Slight
Bipolar Disorder: Very Slight
Cyclothymia: Very Slight
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Moderate
Postpartum Depression: N/A
http://www.depressedtest.com/

Very odd. And yet I seriously contemplate suicide a lot.
Click to expand...

a) It's an online test, it really shouldn't tell you anything you don't already know
b) "Moderate" is reason enough to look for help, if you only go by the results, because it's always better to seek help before it gets worse.
c) If you have thoughts like that, you should look for help anyway.

Nezumi said:
Ok, breaking up after two years because of this... you might consider that she was looking for a reason to dump you. I'm not going to give you the whole you are only 22 and there is plenty of time for you to find the right one, yadayada, speech right now. I know you don't want to hear it, but you might want to keep it in your head, you know for later. :)

Still killing yourself over that? Not worth it. Cool down, or get angry. Call some friends, let them pick you up. Don't do anything that you can't even regret afterwards, because it is final.
Click to expand...

.
 
I think I'll take ibogaine in 2013. I'm tempted to take MRIs now, but ibogaine sounds so much more "thorough". I need to resolve old traumata, severe anxiety, OCD, and some self-destructive behavioral patterns that resulted from the aforementioned traumata. I still don't know how much it might cost me though :/
 
Nothing bad to report today (except older brother was being a spoiled twat earlier and bothering me and I was bed ridden majority of the day), but lately been trying to look on the positive side of me not having a laptop for awhile.
I have time to actually read, cook, interact with pets more, and become a master at speed running Okami.
It's starting to make me appreciate the simple hobbies I used to do I suppose.
 
Oomikami said:
Nothing bad to report today (except older brother was being a spoiled twat earlier and bothering me), but lately been trying to look on the positive side of me not having a laptop for awhile.
I have time to actually read, cook, interact with pets more, and become a master at speed running Okami.
It's starting to make me appreciate the simple hobbies I used to do I suppose.
Click to expand...

Oomikami

Am I onto something?

Good to hear you're feeling somewhat better/not worse :)
 
Smiley90 said:
Oomikami

Am I onto something?

Good to hear you're feeling somewhat better/not worse :)
Click to expand...

Yes my username is from Okami :P (I'm a total fanatic of the game)
Specifically there are various aliases for Amaterasu: Amaterasu (天照?), Amaterasu-ōmikami (天照大神／天照大御神?) or Ōhirume-no-muchi-no-kami (大日孁貴神?)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amaterasu

I went with "Oomikami" because I didn't think I could do the accent above the "o" and decided to insert the name with the extra "o" to compensate.

Thank you :) I'm glad too. Had slight episodes of depression but nothing too drowning. I'm starting to get the SATA cable for HDD tomorrow (I was in no condition to go today).

Edit: CBS news is featuring depression right now. Let's see how this turns out.
Ketamine is featured. 40% improved rather than 20% on placebo. I see this is getting public attention now. Interesting.
Just glad they didn't treat the person they were interviewing like an otherworldly being.
 
Did the test that was posted and got this:

Disorder Your Score
Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Extremely High
Cyclothymia: Very High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High
Postpartum Depression: N/A

Went to the Doctors last Friday about another issue and told them how I had been feeling, im away/busy this week but got a phonecall appointment booked for Monday to talk to the Doctor and see what they say. Won't bother getting an appointment at the clinic if they don't say anything useful but hoping they can do something that will help.
 
Major Depression: Extremely High
Dysthymia: Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: High-Moderate
Cyclothymia: High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High
Postpartum Depression: N/A

Third day at a new job. Didn't show up in the afternoon....I don't know why. Just a matter of time before I lose it.. like my 5 previous jobs.

Why can't I fucking die my sleep
 
Major Depression: Extremely High
Dysthymia: High
Bipolar Disorder: Slight
Cyclothymia: High-Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Extremely High
Postpartum Depression: N/A

Man I'm withering away... somehow not fast enough.
 
coldvein said:
it's the soundtrack for the whole world and all of humanity. that's right, it's the best. song. ever.
Click to expand...

I was at a karaoke/pool bar once and EVERYONE started singing along.

Oomikami said:
Have a good day, then it turns horrible. I'm never allowed to have a good day anymore....
Click to expand...

I remember when my depression was really bad, there was a pattern of it being the worst in the afternoon/night, especially before sleep. Sorry about your day.

eravulgaris said:
I'm 22 and we've been together for about 2 years. But she's always been part of the same group of friends.
Click to expand...

Geez @ your story. I'm really sorry. Get somebody to talk about it to ASAP. Hope you feel better, whether it's as a result of getting back with your ex or moving on with your life.
 
So I was with a friend and after months of not telling anyone I started talking about some of my issues. At first he asked me why I was saying that, I kept talking for a couple of minutes and then he suddenly changed the subject... Like it always happens... Maybe I should really go to a therapist so that someone would actually listen to me.
 
Nlroh said:
So I was with a friend and after months of not telling anyone I started talking about some of my issues. At first he asked me why I was saying that, I kept talking for a couple of minutes and then he suddenly changed the subject... Like it always happens... Maybe I should really go to a therapist so that someone would actually listen to me.
Click to expand...

Not many really wanna talk about depressing stuff man. People wanna avoid that, most don't wanna ask themselves questions that might make them feel sad.
 
^I find people get unnerved easily by things like that. It's unfortunate but unless they have had some previous exposure, knowledge or understanding it's kind of the same reaction you'd get if you were a chick talking to a 16 year male about periods. Not sure if that's the best comparison but I think it's the same kind of "avoidance, huh, what, why, this has nothing to do with me" reaction. :/
 
I know that most people don't like to talk about it, but it's always me the one who's listening to their problems. I don't know why a lot of random acquaintances choose me for this or want to share their problems with me, but it's so fucking unfair that I actually care about their issues and no one listens to me...
 
Nlroh said:
I know that most people don't like to talk about it, but it's always me the one who's listening to their problems. I don't know why a lot of random acquaintances choose me for this or want to share their problems with me, but it's so fucking unfair that I actually care about their issues and no one listens to me.
Click to expand...

But that's because their problems are "normal-people problems", right. (EDIT: /sarcasm, just in case that wasn't obvious)

I know what you mean. We're here to listen, if you want to talk. It's hard to find people like that, who actually listen and care. Really tells you who your real friends are.
 
Nlroh said:
I know that most people don't like to talk about it, but it's always me the one who's listening to their problems. I don't know why a lot of random acquaintances choose me for this or want to share their problems with me, but it's so fucking unfair that I actually care about their issues and no one listens to me.
Click to expand...

I've had the same experience before. I guess most just want to be heard instead of hearing, and there are some like us that can also listen. It just happens I suppose.

Also, what Smiley90 said.
 
Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Very High
Bipolar Disorder: Slight
Cyclothymia: Slight-Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High-Moderate
Postpartum Depression: N/A

Guess it wasn't as bad as I expected.
 
Well... I don't really feel too comfortable writing everything here -and I'd probably write something extremely long-, but thank you.
 
Does anyone else have a hard time finding something to care about? Right now I feel as though I've just lost everything and I have nothing left to hold on to. Makes it hard to care about anything.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Not really depressed...
2
50
3K
Valedix replied
  • Poll
Are modern filmmakers depressed?
2
55
3K
John Bilbo replied
My bread is depressed...
21
2K
Alebrije replied
TikTok is depressing.
2
91
10K
tamago84 replied
  • Locked
The Onlyfans generation: 13 year old left depressed and suicidal as classmates taunt him with mums nudes
16
6K
jason10mm replied
Top Bottom