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[Hot5pur]

Just noticing as I get older it's harder and harder to make close friends. Once people start having families they tend to segregate and start doing their own thing, so even harder to catch up with the friends we do have.
Wife and I are childfree so I think it's a bit easier for us, especially with other childfree people, but when we see our friends with kids it's just become a bit painful as it's all about kids, like they don't have any interests outside of their children. (Some of our friends have become a shell of their former selves and clearly let their health and energy slip away.). A bit of a digression, anyway...
My advice to anyone reading this in their teens or 20s, spend the time to build strong friendships and don't treat people as disposable. Good people that you click with are hard to find.
For people reading this in their 30s, 40s and 50s+, do you try and make new close friendships? Has it worked out for you and what are some tips?

 

[nush]

The older I get the less need I have for people, I’m perfectly happy with my own company and a few casual people I can chat to for a bit without them demanding any of my time or being sucked into their drama.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

The older I get, my best friends are generally who I talk to the most.

Aside from one best friend from kindergarten, I barely talk to and see grade school friends aside from occasional FB messages or HBAY posts. Went to a high school reunion which was awesome, but kind of lost contact with most. That's what happens when you graduate high school before the net came around. People started adding each other when FB got up and running, but that was about 15 years after high school. Its a shame in some aspects because there were really good friends who I had, lost contact and were never able to find them on social media. Even the people who were massive FB adders adding everyone from high school I asked if they even found them. Nope. Some people disappeared and nobody ever knew what happened to them. You never know, maybe some died. There have been about 5 people I know from high school who died already. A mix of cancer, suicide, freak accidents.

My best friends now (aside from fam) are the kindergarten friend and her spouse, university buddies and coworker buddies.

I dont go out of my way to make close friends. It just happens naturally. If it happens it happens. If it doesn't thats fine.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Orenji Neko Thick Thighs Save Lives Danjin44 digital_ghost Radical Dreamer
Are my friends.

I like Danjin44, even

Even if he gets angry... And I do appreciate it.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Thick Thighs Save Lives Danjin44 digital_ghost Radical Dreamer DeafTourette NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt
Are my friends.

I like Danjin44, even

Even if he gets angry... And I do appreciate it.

 

[DeafTourette]

Just noticing as I get older it's harder and harder to make close friends. Once people start having families they tend to segregate and start doing their own thing, so even harder to catch up with the friends we do have.
Wife and I are childfree so I think it's a bit easier for us, especially with other childfree people, but when we see our friends with kids it's just become a bit painful as it's all about kids, like they don't have any interests outside of their children. (Some of our friends have become a shell of their former selves and clearly let their health and energy slip away.). A bit of a digression, anyway...
My advice to anyone reading this in their teens or 20s, spend the time to build strong friendships and don't treat people as disposable. Good people that you click with are hard to find.
For people reading this in their 30s, 40s and 50s+, do you try and make new close friendships? Has it worked out for you and what are some tips?

I have several close friends, most are close in age to me. I'm 50. Believe it or not, if not for the Internet and social media, I would never have had such amazing friends.

 

[DeafTourette]

Thick Thighs Save Lives Danjin44 digital_ghost Radical Dreamer DeafTourette NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt
Are my friends.

I like Danjin44, even

Even if he gets angry... And I do appreciate it.

You are my friend, as well!

 

[Windle Poons]

The older I get the less need I have for people, I’m perfectly happy with my own company and a few casual people I can chat to for a bit without them demanding any of my time or being sucked into their drama.

I’m with you on this.

We could almost be friends…

 

[Rockondevil]

Had a couple of close friends probably 6-7 years ago and we all moved apart for work reasons.
I've always been quite content with my own company though and I have my wife and kid on top of that, so I don't need anything more.

I'm not against it, but I won't go out of my way either.

 

[digital_ghost]

Thick Thighs Save Lives Danjin44 digital_ghost Radical Dreamer DeafTourette NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt
Are my friends.

I like Danjin44, even

Even if he gets angry... And I do appreciate it.

You are my friend too hermano mayor.

 

[HRK69]

Nah. Being alone is the best that ever happened to me.

I get my social interactions while working and that's more than enough for me

I fucking hate people

 

[Windle Poons]

Nah. Being alone is the best that ever happened to me.

I get my social interactions while working and that's more than enough for me

I fucking hate people

I’m with you on this.

We could almost be friends…

 

[HRK69]

I’m with you on this.

We could almost be friends…

It wasn’t always this way. I used to be part of two friend groups, and having a free weekend was rare. Back then, I’d even feel disappointed when I had nothing planned with them.

Maybe things will change. But right now, being alone is pure bliss.

 

[Trilobit]

Sure, one is called Johnnie and the other Calvert.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

Thick Thighs Save Lives Danjin44 digital_ghost Radical Dreamer DeafTourette NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt
Are my friends.

I like Danjin44, even

Even if he gets angry... And I do appreciate it.

 

[Reizo Ryuu]

relationships go both ways, some people when they "settle down" no longer care to maintain their side of their other relationships, and only so many attempts can be made to keep connecting until you feel like a fool.
That isn't to say if you were to meet up things wouldn't be fine, but actively pursuing while the other isn't making the effort anymore is a waste of energy.
The true strong bonds will last a lifetime and might only be a handful of people, I think too many people fall into the trap of calling everyone they are slightly amicable with a friend (I also blame facebook for this with its "friends list", no you don't have a thousand friends), and then wondering why they are losing connections to them.

In the end it's all about making an effort, and no being in a relationship or having kids is not an excuse; maybe cancel date night one time so you can have a friends night, or every so often you take turns watching the kids so the other can spend some time for themselves. If you can't manage that don't be surprised one day when you don't even get a call on your birthday anymore.

 

[Celcius]

I don't have any IRL friends. I don't mind though.

 

[drganon]

I used to have some close friends at my job, but they've since moved on to other jobs.

 

[RagnarokIV]

I have some friends who I text now and then, and maybe stop by and quickly see one every month or so.
Other than that all you need is checking GAF while you’re having a shit

 

[Tg89]

35.

Have ~10-12 people I'd consider close friends, but I've known them all for 10+ (most 20+) years. No time for new ones tbh.

 

[DKehoe]

Yeah, but it's become more challenging to do things together now compared to when we were younger and could make last-minute plans because we were all much less busy. So at the start of the year we came up with the idea to have one Saturday a month pencilled in as a day we do something together, whether it's go out to eat, hang out at someone's house or something else. That way we're all hopefully able to plan other stuff with that in mind so it's kept free.

 

[Mr Reasonable]

I think it's quite sad when people say not only that they don't have any friends, but also that they don't want or need them.

 

[YCoCg]

My friends are on the ban list.

/s

Serious response: yes I have a small circle, most recent is someone I've known for three years now.

 

[BigBeauford]

My friends are whomevers' parents have their kids doing the same activities as mine.

 

[Hookshot]

My teens/ early 20's maybe? I'm still friends with people from my primary and secondary schools. And due to that there is a wider group of friends of friends who I'm friends with enough to go out for Birthdays etc. but I wouldn't say I'm close with them outside of a core handful.

I socialize with co workers a couple of times a year and get along with most but I'm not close to them and I wouldn't want to be.

 

[jufonuk]

Yes as you get older it’s harder to make friends. But you also see your friends less as you have other commitments. I came to that realisation as I’ve moved out of where I used to live so it’s harder to see my friends. But the love is still there. Even though I do not see them as much as I would like.

 

[JimmyRustler]

The two guys I would consider my best friends I met like once every two months. Hope that answers the question.

I generally see it like this… I have limited free time so I have to make a choice: Either read an all time classic book and learn something new or spend time with people who talk about the most mundane stuff all the time. It’s not a hard choice to make.

 

[Aesius]

I've moved cities four different times since I was 20, which has made it hard to keep lasting friendships. I still keep in touch with my college friends but we only see each once in a blue moon. I actually live near where I graduated high school again but my high school friends have kids who are much older than mine, so it's hard to connect with them through that.

With kids, job, wife, and hobbies, it's honestly hard to even find time for friends at this point. I suspect all of my friends are in the same boat. But honestly, I find that I don't enjoy "hanging out" nearly as much as I used to. It's good every once in a while, but only for a relatively short time. 2-3 hours. After that, I feel like I'm wasting time. It's kind of a sad way to be, but that's just how it is at this point in my life.

 

[ThisIsMyDog]

Never had any friends—like, at all—but don’t give a fuck about that. Don’t talk to family either. Guess that’s why I’m diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder.

 

[dark_chris]

I still have close friends from childhood that I still talk to. Most of my friends have moved on or stopped talking but I still communicate with some friends as far back as Kindergarten.
My best friend was formally a bully who used to basically torture me growing up, but now we’re like brothers and we communicate every single day about random shit or send funny clips/pics

 

[lifa-cobex]

I think it's quite sad when people say not only that they don't have any friends, but also that they don't want or need them.

I think it's generally really difficult to make close friends as an adult.

People have their own shit going on. Family's, work, bills etc etc.
I make friends at work but it's rare that I go out with them or socialize outside of work.

My close friends are from what I made as a teen. Two of which I consider family but live far away.

Others that I've known for a long time haven't really grown up and still act like teens even though they are in their 40's.
Their fun and fairly harmless but I don't like to mingle with them for too long.

It doesn't help that I keep moving around the country so i never settle and make roots.

 

[AJUMP23]

Yes I have some.

 

[xrnzaaas]

I haven't made any new friends in years, always rely on the old ones. Sure I met a couple of cool people when hiking or cycling, but none of that turned into a long lasting friendship. I won't deny that it may be partially my fault. I've interacted with so many shitty people in my life and so many people I know have eventually disappointed me or pissed me off (especially during the covid period) that I don't really try to create strong new connections.

 

[Putonahappyface]

Throughout my teenage years I had a large circle of friends, but nowadays I prefer quality over quantity.

 

[Cattlyst]

Similar situation to OP. Mid 40s, no kids. I don’t really have any close friends now that most of them have drifted away into parenthood. All the guys I used to do stuff with at weekends are now too busy taking their kids to parties or sports. So I generally just hang out with my wife or do stuff alone. Meh.

 

[Billbofet]

I have close friends I have had for decades and don't see that ever changing. Have not made one of this caliber in probably 15 years.

Lately, my wife and I have been making "couples friends" with parents from our kids' activities/school.
While not as close as my close friends, it's nice to hang with different people, and honestly my good friends wouldn't do shit like go out to dinner, concerts, even travel all that much - which we have done with "couple friends."
It also seems like a more superficial and less committal type deal, which has been great so far.

 

[Hawking Radiation]

Nah. Being alone is the best that ever happened to me.

I get my social interactions while working and that's more than enough for me

I fucking hate people

I'm the same boat.

There's 1 or 2 people at work that I might occassionally meet up with outside of work but that's it.

 

[TDiddyLive]

I have several close friends, most are close in age to me. I'm 50. Believe it or not, if not for the Internet and social media, I would never have had such amazing friends.

 

[Donald mac Ronald]

I've actually found as I've got older those people so called friends just let you down or disappoint. Grown adults can't even hash issues/problems out, and resort to childish shit you see in school. It's embarrassing.

Fortunately still have some good close core friends. But like others have said, as you get older people are busy with their own families etc .

 

[INC]

Yes, all my friends I'm my circle are my close friends now, all genuinely give a shit about me, and want nothing from me, other than my company and time, want me to succeed, celebrate my wins, and comfort me in my dark days

Most recent was 3 years ago, old friend from school and we reconnected

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

I've moved cities four different times since I was 20

Can sympathize.

I've lived in 7 different countries before I turned 18.

 

[Mondai]

I have 4 close friends and I am married so I'm good.

 

[mclaren777]

As a Christian, I find it exceedingly easy to make deep, meaningful friendships.

There are many dozens of people who are closer to me than family and I chat with most of them at least once each week.

 

[RavageX]

I still have friends, but one of my failings is that it is hard for me to make time for people. I always here you will make time if you really want to, but if I have a hard time finding time for myself and to practice self care...how can I for others?

I'd always talk, but I just wouldn't have time to "hang out".

But the point of me mentioning this:

There has been a few times where its really impacted me. One was an guy that was cool, always wanted to hang out but I never had the time. He passed away. Suddenly too.

Another instance. A lifelong friend. Figured it would always be the case. Just kinda drifted out of touch. There's more than that but ultimately that is what happened. I'd message them or even call but the conversations would always be brief or completely one-sided. I'd joke and things and there would be a sign of my old friend, but it wouldn't last.

Then when I lost my second parent, I talked with a few of my friends...I did the same with the ones who had lost theirs too...I figured I would talk with this particular friend as well, because my parents considered them to be like family and one of the first things they said was, "Well, weren't they old?".

Now, I don't expect much from people, but from someone who I'd been friends with through thick and thin....I would expect a bit more. Maybe not much more, but better than that. And maybe I was just being soft, I don't think so but...

I'll never forget that. I wasn't angry, but it was eye-opening. I thought back on a few things and maybe the friendship I thought we had wasn't on equal footing.

I haven't talked with them or their family since. I've thought about it from time to time, but why set myself up.

 

[Miyazaki’s Slave]

I have always been an introvert socially, even though people tell me that I am the opposite (they are wrong....its a mask) and I have never had a large group of friends. Just a handful or so. Two of them I still know from my teens or early 20's the rest I made in my 30's to now (mid 40's). Not counting the family I actually claim, probably 7 people.

I can very much relate to OP though, it gets really hard when everyone starts having kids, not as easy to fit in with the group dynamics and I have such limited interests it's hard to break the ice with new folks.

 

[Windle Poons]

I think it's quite sad when people say not only that they don't have any friends, but also that they don't want or need them.

Why do you think that? Some people aren’t social butterflies.

I get on fine with my work colleagues but that’s all they are. I’m perfectly happy in my own company too. I can do what I want when I want without the need for military planning if I want to go somewhere or do something.

 

[Dr.D00p]

'Friends' are just people who haven't yet found a good enough reason to stab you in the back.

..but give them time.

 

[MagusMajul]

The last friend i had was in middle school when i was like 12 years old. I'm now 37

 

[Idleyes]

My best friend passed away over a decade ago, and I still haven’t found anyone like him. But I’m good, I’ve got my wife, kids, other family, and an absurd gaming setup.

 

[DeafTourette]

For the longest time I didn't have too many friends who stuck around and actually saw me as a unique person. I was still finding out who I was a bit later in life into my 30s... But thanks to the Internet, I found my people. First on a message board, then through some of those same friends I had finally met in person (now that we lived in the same city) and then through Facebook and Twitter.... I made some genuine friends... A few have become very close like family ... A couple are genuinely closer than that.