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Early 'The Mummy' reviews, "Dark Universe is dead on arrival"

P

paragonpro

Banned
Guys lets announce all the sequels to our movies with expensive actors before we even know if the first one will do well

Cinematic universes will be the death of the hollywood blockbuster
 
S

Shaanyboi

Banned
paragonpro said:
Guys lets announce all the sequels to our movies with expensive actors before we even know if the first one will do well
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Seriously. Marvel didn't precede Iron Man's release with a cast shot of the entire Avengers. And even when WB jumped the gun with casting Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg, atleast those motherfuckers are in BvS with Justice League getting ready to film almost immediately after.
 
I

Ithil

Member
Mikey Jr. said:
I hate how they got rid of the light hearted adventure tone and went for dark and serious.

So eff that.
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51N5crHQxbL._SX200_QL80_.jpg
 
M

More_Badass

Member
Shaanyboi said:
Secondly, people actually care about the DC characters. Even if the DCEU films are largely a huge mess, people want them to be good because of what some of those characters mean to pop-culture. And we know it can be done. Who the fuck cares about The Mummy outside of those nostalgic about the Brendan Frasier movie? How about The Invisible Man?
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I always find the "people don't care about" argument kind of off. People dont care about (in a pop-culture/nostaglia sense) the focus of most movies; reviews, general quality, word of mouth, spectacle, etc. draws them to check it out. A good movie doesn't need people to "care" about its topic to do well.

But if you're hoping that people caring about your brand makes your movie a success, rather than it being a solid movie first and foremost, you might have misjudged
 
V

VaultBoy101

Member
Calling this movie The Mummy is insulting. It's like if they had released Batman vs. Superman with the title "The Dark Knight" instead.
 
M

More_Badass

Member
VaultBoy101 said:
Calling this movie The Mummy is insulting. It's like if they had released Batman vs. Superman with the title "The Dark Knight" instead.
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An action-adventure comedy with the same name wasn't? This and the last Mummy reboots/remakes were as different from the original, as the remakes/reboots are from eachother
 
I

Imbarkus

As Sartre noted in his contemplation on Hell in No Exit, the true horror is other members.
Honestly if you go back to the black and white originals on all of these properties, it's when they started crossing over into each other that they became self-parody, i.e. Frankenstein Vs. Wolfman.

Might as well reboot Abbott & Costello as part of it, go all out.

Everyone I know in real life feels nothing but doubt and bemused skepticism when they hear about this Dark Universe idea.
 
I

Ithil

Member
Shaanyboi said:
Firstly, those movies atleast made money. Green Lantern aside, the DC movies still pull in sizable audiences. Who knows how the fuck this is going to do, but they already had an unquestionable misfire with Dracula Untold.

Secondly, people actually care about the DC characters. Even if the DCEU films are largely a huge mess, people want them to be good because of what some of those characters mean to pop-culture. And we know it can be done. Who the fuck cares about The Mummy outside of those nostalgic about the Brendan Frasier movie? How about The Invisible Man?

Lastly, what the fuck does Dark Universe even mean? This endgame they're proposing still doesn't mean anything beyond "They'll be in a movie together!" But like, as heroes? Is this some Howling Commandos/Agents of S.T.A.K.E. kinda shit? Are they all just gonna fuck up humanity? What exactly am I supposed to want from these movies knowing that they're just gonna be PG-13 horror-tinged action blockbusters?
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By contrast, Legendary are doing a good job with Godzilla/King Kong, because Godzilla is a long time, very endearing character with dozens of films to his name. The Mummy has had lots of versions, from Universal, from Hammer, to the Brendan Fraser movies, all pretty different and spread across many decades. The Fraser films were not that long ago, either.

Godzilla's had many different tones and styles but he's always been recognizably Godzilla (and the one time he wasn't in the 1998 film, people hated it), and most importantly, the 2014 film is completely standalone. They didn't announce the Vs movie with Kong in advance, they just set out to make a good Godzilla film that stood on its own rather than blend in with the generic blockbusters. Then they went and made their King Kong film (another longtime iconic character), and now that both were big hits and well received, they can move forward with their Vs film.

The key there is "big hits and well received".

Plus, the crossover movie is so easy to imagine, especially as its happened before, it's Godzilla vs King Kong, they're iconic monsters and they're gonna fight, cool! The Avengers was easy to imagine for non-comic fans, it's superheroes forming a team to fight the bad guys.
What are these rebooted Universal Horror characters going to do? Team up? Fight? Hang out? Be in the same film in some undetermined capacity but hopefully make lots of money like the Avengers?
Do Universal even know?
 
K

kulapik

Member
Matt Goldberg from Collider (though, for some reason, they didn't want to publish it)

http://goldbergblog.com/2017/06/07/the-mummy-review-a-wretched-abomination/
But if The Mummy is any indication of what’s to come with Dark Universe, then these aren’t movies worth making. What The Mummy signals is that Dark Universe will pile on loads of crummy CGI and awful storytelling that’s a waste of the time and talent of A-list actors like Cruise. Kurtzman isn’t just some hired gun on board for this one movie. He, along with Chris Morgan (Fast & Furious), has been the guiding force of Dark Universe, and he thinks The Mummy is a fine start to this cinematic universe. It’s not. It’s an abomination.
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M

More_Badass

Member
Ithil said:
Plus, the crossover movie is so easy to imagine, especially as its happened before, it's Godzilla vs King Kong, they're iconic monsters and they're gonna fight, cool! The Avengers was easy to imagine for non-comic fans, it's superheroes forming a team to fight the bad guys.
What are these rebooted Universal Horror characters going to do? Team up? Fight? Hang out? Be in the same film in some undetermined capacity but hopefully make lots of money like the Avengers?
Do Universal even know?
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I just see an updated Van Helsing as the endgame

Cruise and the monster team versus Dracula

Cruise was actually slated to play Van Helsing in an older reboot
 
S

Shaanyboi

Banned
More_Badass said:
I always find the "people don't care about" argument kind of off. People dont care about (in a pop-culture/nostaglia sense) the focus of most movies; reviews, general quality, word of mouth, spectacle, etc. draws them to check it out. A good movie doesn't need people to "care" about its topic to do well.

But if you're hoping that people caring about your brand makes your movie a success, rather than it being a solid movie first and foremost, you might have misjudged
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I mean when you're jumping right into talking about your multi-film crossover universe before you've launched even a single film, you're banking on peoples' emotional investment in wanting to see such a thing happen.

Yes, you don't need to have some pre-existing adoration of a franchise to get to care about it, obviously. But we're not talking about a singular movie that then showed possibility of branching off in all these exciting directions. They were up-front about saying "WE'RE DOING THIS, THIS, AND THIS STARRING JOHNNY DEPP AND THIS GUY AND THIS GUY AND WE'RE COMMITTED TO THIS PLAN!"

There are so many fucking games last generation that were up-front about how they were starting an exciting new trilogy. Mass Effect got insanely lucky that it mostly worked out for those three games, even with the criticism they received along the way, and that they even managed to finish their intended story. But for every one where they got the opportunity to continue, or like an Assassin's Creed where the presumed arc of subsequent sequels made itself apparent by the end of Game 1, you had games like Too Human falling flat on their face.

Make a good movie, and plant the seeds of potential for places to go so that people have something to look forward to that they didn't know they wanted. Don't just flop your flaccid dick on the table and go "IT'S GONNA BE REAL IMPRESSIVE! YOU'LL SEE!"
 
I

Inceptional

Member
Is Universal allergic to good scripts or something? I think they've been coasting so long on their shitty, money-making franchises that they don't feel they need to actually have a good script before rushing into production. And why Kurtzman for fuck sake?
 
D

Dragun619

Member
Damn, That really sucks. Tom Cruise deserves a better cinematic universe than this. lol

What are the chances Universal just sticks with the Dark Universe plan anyway?
 
J

jett

D-Member
BewareTheBatsie said:
Why announce a film universe when your first movie isn't even out and it could totally bomb? Do they think the appeal of a shared universe will attract people to go see it?
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What's funny is that this would be the second time it happened to Universal. Dracula Untold was also supposed to be the start of a "cinematic monster universe."
 
M

More_Badass

Member
jett said:
What's funny is that this would be the second time it happened to Universal. Dracula Untold was also supposed to be the start of a "cinematic monster universe."
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Executives seem to forgot the part where the MCU was a big risk and think just emulating the current MCU is how you make as much money as Marvel rather than starting small like Iron Man and building from there
 
I

Inceptional

Member
Deadly Cyclone said:
Should have stuck with Brendan Frasier and Mummy 4.
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No, they just need to make these actual monster movies, instead of action movies. Uni wants to F&F this Dark Universe and that isn't the right tone if they want a true, cohesive world of "gods and monsters". They can still be fun but let's really focus on interesting characters and what made these monsters so popular in the first place.
 
Z

Zoloft Sonic

Member
strafer said:
He's one of the greatest screenwriters in Hollywood.

I actually sent an email to him asking about how to improve my screenwriting, he's fantastic and you should feel bad for dismissing him.
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There's a difference between being a financially successful producer-writer, and being "one of the greatest screenwriters in Hollywood."

One of them has to do with being a hard working, LA-born craftsman, and being in the right place at the right time. The other one has nothing to do with being Alex Kurtzman.
 
F

fallengorn

Bitches love smiley faces
Can't say that I'm surprised.

I'm not even sure what a good direction is for these Dark Universe movies. Having the Universal monsters interact with each other isn't that novel. It's been done before. Many times.
 
D

DeathoftheEndless

Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
Ridley327 said:
It's easily the weakest of the original Universal Monster films, and I say that as someone who has never been a big fan of Dracula.
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I mean, The Mummy was basically a retelling of Dracula, so its not surprising you wouldn't like it lol. The Hammer Mummy is the best one anyway.
 
R

Realeza

Banned
Messofanego said:
"And from there begins what is basically a two hour film where an increasingly beautiful woman cannot stop pursuing Tom Cruise, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg on the ego stroke of its star."
...
"The few times we aren’t dealing with orations about the 'new world of evil', we’re treated to awful, cringe inducing romantic overtures between Morton and Halsey, and let me tell you, Wallis has romantic chemistry with Cruise that registers somewhere around unfamiliar coworker. This is supposed to be the central emotional hook of the story."

#NotMyMummyCouple

Remember the chemistry between Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz?

7d4676d6c9152ed1d86ac485e0ff1d90.jpg


*swoon*
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She's grabbing Fraser's metal dick?
 
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