Entertain me. What joke always makes you laugh?

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Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Ron Paul walk into a bar and order drinks. Because liquor is unregulated, the bartender serves them tainted alcohol. They die.
 
A man gets a call from his doctor
"I'm sorry but we got your wife's test results mixed up, although we've narrowed them down to two results; unfortunately she's either got AIDS or Alzheimer's"
"Oh my god that's terrible, doctor, what do I do?"
"Send her for a walk around the block, if she comes back don't fuck her"


A dentist walks into his surgery to find his next patient already there
Patient: " Wow you got a chair that goes in and out instead of up and down!"
Dentist: "Get out of the filing cabinet Mr O'Leary"
 
A small town had recently built a moat to keep it safe from bandits. The moat was filled with eels, gators, sharks, jellyfish, and everything else you don't want to be swimming with. In celebration of the moat's completion, and to prove how good their moat was at repelling people, the town held a contest. Whoever could complete a lap in the moat would be given a million dollars.

On the day of the contest, the townspeople gathered together at the edge of the moat. The mayor of the town declared, "Whoever is brave enough to swim these waters, do so now!" There was a long pause. Of course nobody wanted to swim in the moat. After another while, just when everyone was ready to head home, the village idiot made a splash in the water. Everyone gasped in horror!

The idiot then started to scream and swim as fast as he could. He swam away from all the creatures screaming at the top of his lungs. Everybody cheered the idiot on, and pulled him out of the water with a rope when he completed a lap. The town went wild! The mayor clapped the idiot on the shoulder and asked "What will you do with the money, my boy?!"

The idiot responded, "I ain't care about no money. I jes wanna find the sunufabitch that pushed me in!!"
 
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