Man, the elitism in this game is insane. It's really ruining it, I know new players that have or are about to quit because them. Once my sub runs out I doubt I'll continue if this keeps up.
What kind of elitism are you witnessing?
I'm just curious, because a few things that I've seen specifically mentioned here (generally in complaints) I've found I'm not often able to sympathize with.
For example, shout groups of people running CM or Prae who ask for you to have relic/lv. 70 gear seems perfectly reasonable to me because there are just so many groups going at once and there will be something available for you as well if you don't satisfy the reqs there. If you want to take it slow, enjoy the cutscenes and if you're just wearing AF gear, that's totally acceptable as well - there are groups for those people just the same.
Once you start doing end-game stuff you'll see. If you join a duty finder party in AF gear doing the harder stuff you'll most likely hear about it and not in a good way. My friend wanted to try hardmode Garuda and because he had AF on they told him "no way we're gonna party with you".
That's really not that crazy. I don't think that's elitism so much as a poor way of expression.
If I were that group leader I'd probably reject your friend for two reasons, 1) if he's still in AF, then he's likely a fresh 50 and has never done Garuda before on HM, so it lowers the chance of the group's success, and 2) he's just going to have less HP and do less damage than everyone else. Pug groups are often disorganized and messy as it is, and its just made worse when you have people who aren't geared enough to compensate for their lack of experience in the encounter.
He should have said "sorry but we'd rather invite someone more geared" instead of being a dick, but he has a point because there is a whole chunk of encounters and duties designed for people who are still in AF and your friend should be doing those first before he tries to join a pug group for Shin-Garuda. There's 25 levels of difference in item level between AF gear and Darklight gear. That's a big difference. If he was wearing a mish-mash of Darklight and AK gear with a DL or Ifrit weapon he probably wouldn't have gotten rejected.
If you want to leapfrog elements of the post-50 progression system, then that's fine but it's something you should do with your friends who basically recognize they're carrying you and can deal with your mistakes and inexperience.
In my eyes, pug groups are basically for 1 purpose: learning the encounter through loads of deaths. When you actually want to beat something you need to be stringent about gear reqs or go with friends/FC/LS-mates.