DESTROYA
Member
It's always the damn cats fault.
Flying out to Florida, the land of fellow nutjobs, wish me luck
- Thread starter JimiNutz
- Start date
JareBear: Remastered
Banned
JimiNutz is too much of a badass for anyone in FL to mess with him.
Swamp dwelling Turbo Hillbillies will snuff even the hardest of men out with the quickness. They'll wrap you in ham and have you on the fire within minutes.
Tesseract
Banned
it's true, i done sawgns it wit mah awghn eyezs
goddamn savages swimming in the 'glades
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DeepEnigma
Gold Member
They're so savage, they go noodling for gator.
manfestival
Member
Kev Kev
Member
I was born and raised in PO and live in Daytona now and uh... yeah, amazing the difference 10 miles can make
Like, there is literally the poorest, most broken down, crack head hoods I've ever seen not 1 minute away from my apartment in Daytona, meanwhile in PO there is a neighborhood so fucking rich people fly their planes in and out of it (literally called, The Fly-In). It's not quite a FL man city.
Dirtona on the other hands is FL man's trashy back yard lol
Soltype
Member
If only Holly Hill was closer to PO, that'd drive em nuts.
triplestation
Member
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Master Of Illusion
Member
You're gonna get shot by a prostitute, you do know that?
Torrent of Pork
Banned
JimiNutz
, you must, must, must go to a local grocery chain called 'Publix Supermarkets' and get a sub sandwich from their deli. My personal recommendation is an 'Ultimate' with ham, turkey, and roast beef. Spring for the Boar's Head meat over the Publix brand.Welcome to paradise.
Edit, also if you want the real 'Murrica experience go to Machine Guns America on highway 192 in Kissimmee. They will rent you straight-up full-auto firearms to blow $100 in store-bought ammo with in the span of 5 minutes.
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Tesseract
Banned
Welcome to paradise.
OH HELL YEAH
i favor turkey, lettuce, banana peppers
but any combination will do
DeepEnigma
Gold Member
Publix 5 grain sub bread is divine.
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Torrent of Pork
Banned
My personal go to.
5 grain bread
Boar's Head Italian with Picante Provalone
Chipotle Gourmaise and Spicy Mustard
Lettuce
Tomato
Onion
Garlic Pickles
Banana Peppers and Jalapenos
Salt, Pepper, Vinegar, Parm, and Oregano
The sandwich will hop off the plate and give you a mouth hug.
D
Deleted member 713885
Unconfirmed Member
DeepEnigma
Gold Member
If Florida is anything like AZ....go balls to the wall and spray some machine guns!
Rent a few handguns, machine guns, shotguns etc..
I'm American but my state is deep liberal so I had to do it once I got to 'FREEDOM LANDS'
ITS AMAZING. Your adrenaline will skyrocket.
Yes, they have machine gun rentals too.
GoodIdeaBadIdea
Member
Graffiti Pizza is pretty good but its kinda pricey its like $25 a pizza but its big you have to fold the slices. The taste is kinda like pizza hut taste only much better about the same greesyness. I have only been in Florida a few days now and I'm staying for the winter. The beaches are nice.
Torrent of Pork
Banned
Mellow Mushroom is a pretty good Central Florida pizza chain with good beer, good pizza, and a decidedly stoner atmosphere of that's what you're into.
D
Deleted member 713885
Unconfirmed Member
Torrent of Pork
Banned
I grew up and live here in Polk County, smack in between Tampa and Orlando. AMA.
Edit-especially about traffic patterns. I'm a local trucker, and know all the shortcuts and backups depending on the time. Let me know where and when you want to go, and I'll tell you the best way. Kissimmee is a traffic nightmare during daylight hours at the best of times.
Edit-especially about traffic patterns. I'm a local trucker, and know all the shortcuts and backups depending on the time. Let me know where and when you want to go, and I'll tell you the best way. Kissimmee is a traffic nightmare during daylight hours at the best of times.
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Daxter32jak
Member
I stayed at Orlando several times last time being this summer with my son. It was a good time a couple good spots if you're going to Orlando/Kississime.
Oakview Gun Range
Gator Golf
Lake Toho Fishing Charters
Oakview Gun Range
Gator Golf
Lake Toho Fishing Charters
Fushitsusha
Banned
Are you giving "Florida Man" competition?
Fushitsusha
Banned
JimiNutz
Banned
I do owe GAF an update!
Unfortunately nothing actually crazy happened, so sorry to disappoint, but it was a fun trip.
I went with the misses so we did all of the theme parks extensively other than Sea World.
I generally preferred Universal to the Disney parks (although we were there opening day for the new Rise of the Resistance ride which was pretty cool, even though the ride kind of sucked).
We took PKMs suggestion and went to Machine Gun America which was awesome and got me fully erect on several occasions, although I didn't get to ride a tank on this trip, maybe next time (planning to go back in 2021).
It was hilarious to see the Black Friday chaos. Saw a few families fighting over 75" TVs at Target although nobody got shot or stabbed and I got a couple funny looks when I shouted out 'Florida Man, where you at?'
I was generally very surprised by Orlando in general. I appreciate that it's a tourist spot so probably quite 'tame' for Florida but I didn't see any lunatics at all. Definitely saw way crazier people in NYC and Seattle as I went to both those cities last year also. Would happily live in Orlando. If any Gaffers want to marry or sponsor me to live there, hit me up in my PMs
I didn't get to see any Gators which was a bit of a letdown although I didn't go out of me way to try and find any - again something that I'll do next time.
One of the best days of the holiday was a trip to Tampa to visit Bush Gardens (easily the best theme park that we visited in terms of rides). I had a Mustang hired for the trip so the drive there was pretty fun. We took two large Thermos flasks filled with ice cold tequila into the park and got absolutely smashed all day while we went on all of the rides (park was empty). I then drove back from Tampa absolutely hammered doing over 150 mph. Was probably a dumb move on my part but I'm not gonna lie, it was fun and nobody died, so fuck it.
No meth either unfortunately. I like to sample the local cuisine when on holiday so if anyone wants to help me score next time, I'll let GAf know ahead of my next trip so that we can plan it all better.
Overall it was a pretty tame but enjoyable trip and Florida is my favourite US State visited so far. I look forward to visiting again next year.
Apologies for the delayed update. A few days into the trip I realised that I was on GAF a lot, which in my head was a bit weird given that I was on vacation. I decided to follow through with a self imposed ban for a couple months (I like to do this every now and then with anything that I'm addicted to as a test of willpower).
Unfortunately nothing actually crazy happened, so sorry to disappoint, but it was a fun trip.
I went with the misses so we did all of the theme parks extensively other than Sea World.
I generally preferred Universal to the Disney parks (although we were there opening day for the new Rise of the Resistance ride which was pretty cool, even though the ride kind of sucked).
We took PKMs suggestion and went to Machine Gun America which was awesome and got me fully erect on several occasions, although I didn't get to ride a tank on this trip, maybe next time (planning to go back in 2021).
It was hilarious to see the Black Friday chaos. Saw a few families fighting over 75" TVs at Target although nobody got shot or stabbed and I got a couple funny looks when I shouted out 'Florida Man, where you at?'
I was generally very surprised by Orlando in general. I appreciate that it's a tourist spot so probably quite 'tame' for Florida but I didn't see any lunatics at all. Definitely saw way crazier people in NYC and Seattle as I went to both those cities last year also. Would happily live in Orlando. If any Gaffers want to marry or sponsor me to live there, hit me up in my PMs
I didn't get to see any Gators which was a bit of a letdown although I didn't go out of me way to try and find any - again something that I'll do next time.
One of the best days of the holiday was a trip to Tampa to visit Bush Gardens (easily the best theme park that we visited in terms of rides). I had a Mustang hired for the trip so the drive there was pretty fun. We took two large Thermos flasks filled with ice cold tequila into the park and got absolutely smashed all day while we went on all of the rides (park was empty). I then drove back from Tampa absolutely hammered doing over 150 mph. Was probably a dumb move on my part but I'm not gonna lie, it was fun and nobody died, so fuck it.
No meth either unfortunately. I like to sample the local cuisine when on holiday so if anyone wants to help me score next time, I'll let GAf know ahead of my next trip so that we can plan it all better.
Overall it was a pretty tame but enjoyable trip and Florida is my favourite US State visited so far. I look forward to visiting again next year.
Apologies for the delayed update. A few days into the trip I realised that I was on GAF a lot, which in my head was a bit weird given that I was on vacation. I decided to follow through with a self imposed ban for a couple months (I like to do this every now and then with anything that I'm addicted to as a test of willpower).
triplestation
Member
crazy things indeed happened
you were just asleep
you were just asleep
