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Football Thread 13/14 |OT14| Juan Flew Into The Slug's Nest

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Insane half of football. Insane. Ludicrous. Ridiculous. Unexplainable. Bizarre. Senseless. Crazy.


Backs to the wall
Endless crosses
Missed sitters, both ballooned horribly
18 players in one penalty area


Premier League
 

Mr Cola

Brothas With Attitude / The Wrong Brotha to Fuck Wit / Die Brotha Die / Brothas in Paris
Gotta love that Sky Sports outro "I WILL NEVER CHANGE...IM ON MY WAY"

The knife, it cuts deep

Well, entirely predictable, failing miserably


AHAHA

"YOUNG TO SCORE NEXT"

Fuck off Bet365 you cocks
 

Barzul

Member
If I played a drinking game where I took a shot for every cross Man United made, I'd probably be dead by the end of the game.
 

GHG

Gold Member
I was conned by David Moyes

David Moyes did a brilliant job for Everton. He took over a football club which had been on its knees for over a decade, struggling towards the wrong end of the league and in a pitiful state financially. He turned the club round, he made us proud to be Blues again and he ensured that Evertonians were no longer worrying about survival. He took over a club that had an aging side, a team that was happy to sign Paul Gascoigne and David Ginola in the twilights of their careers and transformed the playing squad, signing fabulous players that embodied Everton. Mikel Arteta, Tim Cahill, Phil Jagielka and Leighton Baines will be long remembered as fantastic players for Everton, Moyes signed them all.

I personally held him on a pedestal. I was convinced, as were many others that Moyes was up there with the best. If he had the financial resources, or the even playing field afforded to previous Everton managers, then the club and its supporters would have been celebrating years of trophy success. But I wasn’t the only one.

Because David Moyes was doing such a fabulous job, the Evertonians, the media and the general football public believed every word he said. He (and we) lost all sense of positivity, instead focusing on enhancing Everton’s reputation as the plucky underdog, a tag that all Evertonians despise. We were no longer playing for first, we were playing for fifth, six and seventh. All would be recognised and celebrated as fantastic achievements. But as Roberto Martinez has been quick to point out, a team of Everton’s stature should not be aiming for anything less than first place. David Moyes claimed Everton were fighting an impossible battle against the financial superpowers of English football, he certainly had a point, but as he is very quickly proving at Manchester United, all the financial riches in the world do not necessarily equal guaranteed success.

Under David Moyes talk of the clubs glorious past was banned. This suited the clubs management, who would rather be compared against failed eras of Mike Walker and Walter Smith, rather than the fabulously successful trophy laden 1980s. Everton’s most successful manager of all time, Howard Kendall wasn’t even invited to the clubs new training complex at Finch Farm. Thankfully his has already been corrected by the new regime, with Kendall invited down within weeks of Martinez’ appointment. Martinez was hungry to learn of Everton’s history and what better man to explain it all than Kendall who enjoyed success as both a player and manager. Pictures of successful teams now adorn the walls around the training ground, with past success used as motivation for the current crop fortunate to wear Everton blue.

Since the arrival of Roberto Martinez Everton have produced a string of fabulous results and the club is one again proud of its heritage. The School of Science is back, with the Toffees playing glorious free-flowing football that has the football purists purring. Even Arsenal, held aloft by many as the best footballing side in the country were out passed and outplayed. The clubs target for this season? Champions League football as a minimum!!! Everton are aiming for top spot. The club, players and management are not shouting it from the rooftops, but the aim is to be the best. To put Everton back where they belong, fighting Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea to become Champions of England once again.

David Moyes was the greatest con artist of them all. His sleight of hand kept us in the dark, his well-timed quip, aimed perfectly for maximum effect kept Evertonians on side. He played the press expertly, better than almost any manager of the last 20 years, and that includes Alex Ferguson. No one dared to question him, he was held on a pedestal, he was the British manager fighting an almost loan battle against the growing tide of continental coaches. It wasn’t just the press who fell for it, we all did. When he announced his departure to Manchester United there was a huge outpouring of grief. It was hard to believe Everton would survive without him. But it wasn’t Everton who were about to be uncovered and revealed as a fraud, it was the man at the helm, David Moyes.
 

bud

Member
Vidic is dead. Dead.

I wish we had pace to exploit this Man United team on Wednesday.

Instead it will be cross cross cross vs pass pass pass.

it would be truly humiliating if arsenal fuck it up on wednesday.

honestly, it'd be way worse than yesterday's game.
 
That big Old Trafford pitch with Sterling, Sturridge, Suarez and Coutinho against Vidic...

zsu8aqcur.gif


I cannot wait.
 

Cider X

Member
David-Moyes_GI_2681979b.jpg


Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, win. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker. You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get in a final. If you don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, the players you got, win the game by three clear goals. Tonight. In one half. Can you? Can you?

   Go and do likewise. Get mad you son-of-a-bitch. Get mad. You know what it takes to win the league? It takes brass balls to win the league. Go and do likewise, gents. The glory's out there, you pick it up, it's yours, you don't, I got no sympathy for you. You want to go out to that dugout tonight and win, win, it's yours, if not, you're going to be shining the others' boots. And you know what you'll be saying. A fat loser sitting around in a bar: ''Oh yeah, I used to be a manager. It's a tough racket.''

   This is Juan Mata. And to give him to you, he's gold. And you don't get him. Why? Because to give him to you is just throwing him away. He's for winners.  I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, pal: Why am you still here? You're still here because Sir Alex asked me to keep you around, he asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fuckin' ass because a loser is a loser.

Excellent! I wonder how many people here who will understand this reference :)
 

Mr Cola

Brothas With Attitude / The Wrong Brotha to Fuck Wit / Die Brotha Die / Brothas in Paris
I guarantee, I would almost bet my account on it

Hernandez for RvP (or if he is bold fletcher)

Adnan for Mata

Young stays on the pitch, the tactics dont change
 

Fergie

Banned
@Squawka: The most amount of crosses Man Utd have attempted in a full 90 minutes this season is 49 (vs Spurs). They've attempted 46 already today.

I am now fully on the Moyes out train. This shit is ridiculous. Impossible.
 
Lol

I don't even know what I just saw. The stoke game left me feeling drained but this, I'm almost laughing.

I might have to switch over if the second half is equally as piss poor tactically.
 
Could have hired the best managers in football, but settled on Moyes, who has won nothing.

But hey, he was a British press favorite and Mr. Alex Ferguson's choice so.....

lol
 
There's still no chance Man Utd drop points here, but even if they win 7-1, this first half throws up all kinds of questions about where Moyes is taking the club
 
All this time we thought Moyes was getting good performances out of bad players at Everton. Turns out he was actually good at buying good players on the cheap and have them underperform.
 

Marc

Member
in my football-watching career that spans almost twenty years, i don't think i've ever seen anything like this.

i'm genuinely not joking.

Yeah, this is something special we are watching. Boring and yet entertaining because it is boring. Weird.

I wonder if this is his CL tactic, all european clubs have evolved beyond crossingso when Moyes crosses them to death he is bound to win every game. WIn the CL, automatic qualification. GENIUS!
 

confuziz

Banned
Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton 4m

I still standby that statement I made a few months ago. This IS Man United's worst ever Premier league side. By a distance as well.
 

Barzul

Member
There's still no chance Man Utd drop points here, but even if they win 7-1, this first half throws up all kinds of questions about where Moyes is taking the club

I honestly think you're giving them too much credit. They've been that bad. Their only attacking plan is crossing the ball, so utterly predictable.
 
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