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[Forgotten Ancient]

Hey guys...nobody here really knows me yet so I figured I'd get a pretty objective POV. I'm in a really shitty situation right now and I guess I figured I'd spill it all out here to see what ou think. I'm not really good with talking to people about this shit and I need some kind of outlet.

(It's gonna be long...so, if you don't wanna read it that's fine.)

Here's the situation -

About 5 years ago I met a girl online and things clicked really well with us. About 2 months later we ended up falling in love (blablabla), but we were stuck in this long distance relationship (I live in Michigan - she lives in Brazil). I know...it was fucked up, but love does stupid shit to people.

Anyways, we were together for about 3 years - We'd spend a couple of months a year together, but we had bigger plans after we finished school and were really ready to live together as a couple. I actually moved to another state for a few months when she was a foreign exchange student just so I could be closer to her. Really...I loved her (and love her) a lot.

Well...about 3 years ago she just suddenly broke up with me. Her reasoning being that the distance was becoming too much and she needed time to focus and to get some peace of mind. At the time we were arguing a lot and I was thinking of ending things too - so, while it was sudden, it wasn't totally out of the blue. The few months that followed were the most depressing of my life. I had quickly started dating another girl, but I didn't feel anything for her and the bitch ended up cheating on me anyways.

So...nearly 3 years had passed since the original girl (her name's Maria) left me. I'm single, kind of enjoying life (though lonely at times), going to school, and working a shitload. All of a sudden she starts talking again about how she still believes I'm "the one". While there had been a long time that passed, I still thought of her almost daily in some form or another, and it felt really good to be talking to her again...kind of like old times. After about a month of talking, we decided to give things another shot.

So...in this long, yet extremely condensed version, I've lead us up to today. The whole time we've been together we have talked about her moving here when she graduates, getting married, having a family, etc. etc. The other day I (stupidly) told her that I would move to Brazil to be with her if things could be worked out. I don't know hardly any portuguese, I hear it's very hard to get a job, I still have many years of college to finish, and I have nothing to fall back on. My parents are broke as shit and if I fail, the only person that can pick me up is myself. Living in Brazil is gonna make it really hard to pick myself up.

Anywho...like I said...I really really do love her. If I could marry her tomorrow so we could live together here, I'd be all for it. However, I'm extremely worried about the prospect of leaving everything here behind and wondered what you guys think. If I do move I won't be doing it for another year and a half or so (I need to save money, get some more college out of the way, make plans, etc.)...so I won't be deciding tomorrow...but...well, I just had to type this up and get it out there.

Thanks,

Dan

 

[Chipopo]

I don't know hardly any portuguese, I hear it's very hard to get a job, I still have many years of college to finish, and I have nothing to fall back on. My parents are broke as shit and if I fail, the only person that can pick me up is myself. Living in Brazil is gonna make it really hard to pick myself up.

Explain this to her. You're "the one" right? She'll either understand, or you'll realize the truth; You're "the one" as long as its convenient. Either way you win.

 

[hXc_thugg]

Explain this to her. You're "the one" right? She'll either understand, or you'll realize the truth; You're "the one" as long as its convenient. Either way you win.

Sound advice.

 

[Forgotten Ancient]

What I mean is...if things didn't work out, I'd be fucked.

I've already talked to her about this before. She knows I don't know much Portuguese, she knows I won't be able to find a job or go to school right away, and she says it's ok and that she'll always support me. But...the thought still scares the hell out of me. I haven't had anyone's support since I was about 15 (and before then it was minimal at best). I don't doubt her feelings or sincerity...but, I'm still really scared and not sure if I should do this or not.

 

[Ill Saint]

The other day I (stupidly) told her that I would move to Brazil to be with her if things could be worked out. I don't know hardly any portuguese, I hear it's very hard to get a job, I still have many years of college to finish, and I have nothing to fall back on. My parents are broke as shit and if I fail, the only person that can pick me up is myself. Living in Brazil is gonna make it really hard to pick myself up.

Seriously, it is a crazy idea. If you're not well backed up cash wise, it's a massive, massive risk. On top of that, you don't know Portuguese? Insanity. We are talking about a 3rd world Country here...

 

[Grizzlyjin]

What I mean is...if things didn't work out, I'd be fucked.

I've already talked to her about this before. She knows I don't know much Portuguese, she knows I won't be able to find a job or go to school right away, and she says it's ok and that she'll always support me. But...the thought still scares the hell out of me. I haven't had anyone's support since I was about 15 (and before then it was minimal at best). I don't doubt her feelings or sincerity...but, I'm still really scared and not sure if I should do this or not.

Finish school, don't put your future on the line for this girl. I just don't think it would be a good idea to put your life in the hands of a woman who let you down in the past.

 

[J2 Cool]

I met a girl

that says it all

 

[shuri]

.. and dont move to Brazil.

 

[Ill Saint]

.. and dont move to Brazil.

Mind you, if the circumstances were right on, I'd go live there...

 

[miyuru]

If she was single and never met you, I'd think there'd be a good chance of her coming to America once she'd finish her studies, rather than stay in Brazil. In this sense, it would make more sense for you to stay in America (the more, let's say viable country) and her to move to have a better life for herself.

Just try telling her after thinking about it more, you'd prefer her to come to America, and ask her what she'd think of it, no worries.

 

[shuri]

Mind you, if the circumstances were right on, I'd go live there...

City of god man! City of GOD! Havent you seen that movie?!

 

[Ill Saint]

Heh, yeah I've seen it...

 

[fart]

hey dan,

figure your own life out

Thanks,

Fart

 

[bjork]

If she's worth it to you, no distance or risk is too large imo.

 

[Forgotten Ancient]

"hey dan,
figure your own life out
Thanks,
Fart"

Thanks for the input.

I'll make up my own decision, but it helps getting feedback from other people.

Up until about a week ago when I mentioned that I would move to Brazil if necessary, the plan has always been for her to move here. I should have never said shit though, because she's not really excited at the prospect of me living down there...and I'm not even close to ready to make that jump.

So, Fart
I'm trying to figure my own life out.
Thanks,
Dan

 

[bjork]

Let us know what you do, either way. I'm interested in stories of people who relocate to be together. Seems pretty cool to know you're not limited to people in your local area, as far as potential relationships go.

 

[lochnesssnowman]

You're Neo dude, you can do what the hell you like!

Seriously. Moving to Brazil doesn't sound like the best move here. A lot of things could go wrong and, as you say, if it fucks up, then you're left with not a lot. You don't mention that she has taken you up on the idea directly but it sounds that way from the rest of your text. It's a good idea to save up money anyway, so do that, and you've got a year and a half to see if things work out and if not, you have a large booze fund in 18 months to drown your sorrows.

 

[lochnesssnowman]

Up until about a week ago when I mentioned that I would move to Brazil if necessary, the plan has always been for her to move here. I should have never said shit though, because she's not really excited at the prospect of me living down there...and I'm not even close to ready to make that jump.

If she's not excited about it and you're not ready then there isn't a lot to think about then. You have a while to mull it over but it sounds like niether of you are 100% on the idea. Good luck whatever you do bigfella.

 

[Forgotten Ancient]

Thanks alot everyone.

Really...I know that nothing can be done about it right now. I've seen my friends do crazy things for women before despite being told by numerous people that it's a bad idea. Here's to hoping that I don't follow down that path.

Sorry...I'm just really fuckin' depressed about this shit tonight. While it's nice to say "love will outlast anything"...I've got to be more pragmatic about it. We'll see how it goes, I guess. Not much else can be done at the moment.

Ohh...and a lot of extra booze money does sound good. I've drained my supply of Guiness for the night

 

[fart]

"hey dan,
figure your own life out
Thanks,
Fart"

Thanks for the input.

I'll make up my own decision, but it helps getting feedback from other people.

Up until about a week ago when I mentioned that I would move to Brazil if necessary, the plan has always been for her to move here. I should have never said shit though, because she's not really excited at the prospect of me living down there...and I'm not even close to ready to make that jump.

So, Fart
I'm trying to figure my own life out.
Thanks,
Dan

it's ok. i was just making fun of your overly formal mannerisms.

Thanks,

Fart

 

[weehomer]

Finish school, don't put your future on the line for this girl. I just don't think it would be a good idea to put your life in the hands of a woman who let you down in the past.

Listen to Grizzlyjin. The BEST thing you can do is finish school. The last thing you need to do is move to another country for a gril who has already let you down once.

 

[crestfallen]

you love and you lose. its part of life. i personally wouldn't go on her just coming back to you after 3 years. it seems suspicious to me. i really wouldn't get back into it even though it feels so good. the odds are really, really against you in every aspect. you seem to know what you're doing with school, why you're there, and i believe that you should at the very least finish all of college (through grad school if that's what you plan on). if you're really "the one," then she should be able to wait for you. plus, if you finish school, you could always come back to the states. you'd have a degree, you could get a job and be better off. its difficult, i know, but i dont think that at this time in your life throwing everything away on what seems to most of us and even to you is a prayer, no matter how good that prayer is or feels like it is. you've worked hard to get where you are, don't give that up. sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, but in this world you need to make sure that you can always go back regardless of the situation. maybe save up some money and visit her in brazil, stay for a week or a few days. there are other ways to do this instead of completely dropping everything for a lifestyle you don't know if you'd like or really be happy with. you may get there and love her whole-heartedly, but if your job sucks and you hate where you live then it might be really tough. i suggest you keep thinking, just don't be brash.

 

[Ferrio]

Don't.

 

[mightynine]

This is the most original girl-related thread we've had in a while.

That said, no way in hell would I move before finishing school. I was in a similar situation, though I would still have only been moving from one state to another. Things fell through though beforehand, and looking back on it, moving in with the girl would have been a huge mistake.

 

[adam20]

all your questions and problems would be solved if you just talk to her. geeze. people never communicate in relationships and then you got all these questions that only you tw could answer since these questions are all about the two of you.

when will people learn

 

[etiolate]

TTIUWP

 

[DaCocoBrova]

Don't do it!!!!!

That's all I have to say.

I would never take ownership of pussy after it has been put back on the market for three whole years. Fuck that.

 

[Xenon]

Well...about 3 years ago she just suddenly broke up with me. Her reasoning being that the distance was becoming too much and she needed time to focus and to get some peace of mind.

So who was the guy?

 

[DaCocoBrova]

I'm sure it was more than one, regardless of what she tells him. You always add at least two to whatever a woman tells you. Golden rule.

 

[norinrad21]

She could always move to the USA, don't ever ever move to another country or move in with a woman unless you have a rock solid plan to fall back on when things go to hell.

 

[JackFrost2012]

DON'T DO IT.

Unless you want to be posting "I'm broke and penniless and don't speak Portuguese and my girl left me - advice?" threads in 18 months.

 

[Papi]

So you moved to Brazil yet, homie?

 

[Diablos]

Come on, gentlemen. You know what to do.

F.

 

[demon]

H.
U.
T.
A.


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