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[infinityjinx]

oy vey. she hasn't even had an orgasm from MASTURBATION yet?

you and her both need to back the **** up.

the general order of orgasms for girls goes like this:

1. masturbation
2. clitoral stimulation from you (most likely through oral or from certain sexual positions)
3. vaginal/g-spot (this is mostly on you, my inexperienced friend. good luck)
4. anal (you guys are lightyears away from this)

seriously, she has to get in touch with her body first, on her own time. she has to figure out what feels good for her. if she's never even had a typical orgasm, anal is not going to do the trick. you guys both need to spend a lot of time exploring together, too, if good sex is at all important to you. (how is the sex anyway? you share everything else with us...)

that said, to answer some of your questions from before. you will want to spend at least a few weeks stretching her hole by fingering her. start with one (lubed up) finger and when that gets comfy you can move to 2, etc, as long as she likes it. if she doesn't like a finger up there, there's no way in hell she's going to like your dick up there.

 

[djkimothy]

I've avoided this thread because of the OP. But the replies...

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Slurpy]

Sorry to bump this.. but I'm a little curious as to what happened. I can't be the only one.

 

[BuddyC]

I can't believe this is a thread.

 

[PorscheThunder]

The lack of "stick it in her pooper" pics is depressing. :-(
(I'll post one that I have when I find it and put it up on Photobucket)

 

[PoliceCop]

So rarely does a thread come along where FHUTA is both the correct response and entirely appropriate.

 

[DyTonic]

she better be

Spoiler

shaved

 

[Forceatowulf]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hae-QcAGGbM

 

[infinityjinx]

$20 bucks says girl in question finds this thread sooner or later and flips the **** out. bwahaha

 

[isamu]

Seriously, do you know how ridiculous this sounds?

For some reason this reply made my laugh my ass off! :lol

Yaki just out of curiousity what ethnicity is this girl?

 

[t-storm]

Do I also lube the inside of her butt though?

Seriously, do you know how ridiculous this sounds?

Yeah, there are some people who shouldn't be having sex until over a certain age and then there are those who shouldn't be having sex at all.

 

[The Interrobanger]

Kinda off topic, but what the **** at the Canadian gaffers.

There's only about 3 of the seemingly hundreds of them that don't make shitty threads and make me want to revoke my canuck status.

Just a list of them that piss me off on a regular basis (and I'll probably get my ass kicked if there's a Toronto GAF meetup):

YakiSOBA - The body of a man, the mind of a pre-pubescent girl.
Boogie - A horny, bitter elitist.
Forza - You impress no one with your man-whore status. Shut up.
EGM92 - :lol :lol :lol

 

[ErasureAcer]

Go watch Chasing Amy and you'll be happy anal with some guy you sorta know is all she did.

 

[Boogie]

Boogie - A horny, bitter elitist.

Explain.

and damn right you're getting your ass kicked. :lol

 

[shuri]

Anal isn't some magical experience btw... If it was an 360 achievement, it would be a 10 or 20 pointer TOPS... Unless the regular route isn't an alley, it's a super-highway if you get my drift...

ONLY ON GAF :lol

 

[Sweedishrodeo]

I can't believe this is a thread.

but thank god it is.

 

[Raistlin]

I will try to keep this as short as possible. I know there are members here at GAF who will give me their honest opinions and advice, and I really think that's what I need most right now.

Some of you may recall I had a dilemma about asking out a female friend last year:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128620&highlight=news+bears

Well, to summarize.. I asked her out and we've been going out ever since.

This Saturday, we're even going to a fancy ball held at our University:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5727741#post5727741

Anyways... onwards with the situation I'm in.
She's my first girlfriend, and I'm in my senior year of University. Although I haven't had much experience with women, I'm not stupid and gullible. When we talked about past relationships, she wanted to be completely honest with me. So she told me... everything.

She told me about a "fling" she had with this guy early last year (I didn't know her yet). She was honest, and said she slept with him "once" (BS??) and in that same night... the guy asked if she wanted to do anal... and she let him because she "wanted him to like her". She said it doesn't even feel that good, and that it was "his" idea.

I'm almost tearing up as I write this... I don't know how to feel about this. I really like her, and I know she's just trying to be honest with me but.. it's like a deathly feeling right in the gut of my stomach...

I think firstly, I am just really disappointed in her for using her body like that... but I'm not even sure if it's "right" for me to feel disappointed, after all.. it is HER body and not mine.

Secondly, I feel like I want to murder this guy for using her like that -- but a thought keeps coming back to my mind... is that really the case? She wanted to fool around with him thinking it would make him like her, and he perhaps played along because he knew he could get some? ARG... it really hurts to think about him and her together... (Yes, I know this guy because I've seen him on campus and he's friends with some people I sorta know...)

So this conversation happened last night and now I don't know how to feel. About a week ago, when we were fooling around... she told me we could "try" anal sex and so we went and bought some KY... it was going to happen last night from what I figure, until I jokingly said "well there's a first time for everything"... which prompted her to cry a little and then... tell me all that stuff.

GAF, what am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to feel? On one hand, she's being "honest" with me, and I appreciate that (even though it may be a bit too much information), on the other hand... I don't know for certain if it's the 100% truth (and I never will).

Does this boil down to the uncomfortable feeling of hearing a partners "past relationships", or is it more because, according to her, she fooled around with that guy knowing full well she was trying to "win" him over.


EDIT: I forgot to say, after the conversation last night... I sorta told her it might be a good idea that we not go that route because I didn't want to feel like she was doing it to make sure "i like her"...

Basically, you're inexperienced and insecure ... so you're feeling jealousy due to your own perceived inadequacies. You feel you can't measure up.

While this is quite normal given your experience level, unfortunately it is not something that can easily be overcome. Many times it simply takes experience. I fear your chances of not sabotaging this relationship are probably quite low. It is simply hard to get over such feelings with that particular girl.


I personally think people should engage in sexual relationships much earlier than you have. That allows you to get over such selfish notions ... so you are able to handle relationships when you're older, since those are the ones that have the potential to be serious. You need to get past that shit during earlier relationships, so it doesn't interfere with the ones you really care about.

Sadly, this may not be something you can fix with this girl.

 

[The Interrobanger]

Explain.

and damn right you're getting your ass kicked. :lol

:lol

I'll make an analogy.

It's like a pool party where everyone's having fun swimming, having a blast and not caring what everyone else thinks. You're the one kid who sits on the sidelines and doesn't join in the fun because you got pushed into the water once when you couldn't swim and you're afraid that it'll happen again.

Instead of facing your fear and enjoying yourself, you make excuses like "I just ate or "I'm tired".

Now compare this to your constant stalking in these pathetic relationship threads and your comments about how you're rather not get laid than hook up with someone who's less than perfect. You have so much potential, you're a good looking guy, you're smart and funny and I know complete dog-faced assholes who constantly snatch up great woman. Why can't you?

...please don't hurt me.

 

[The Interrobanger]

And before you say anything....I know it's not one's life goal to conquer as much pussy as humanly possible. I'm not that way, you clearly aren't as well, but I think that you've just such a closed mindset on the subject and you will completely change your outlook once you get past your fears and boost your confidence.

 

[Diablos]

YakiSOBA, you did not answer my question.

 

[Costanza]

You should let her wear a strap on and give YOU anal.

 

[Boogie]

:lol

I'll make an analogy.

It's like a pool party where everyone's having fun swimming, having a blast and not caring what everyone else thinks. You're the one kid who sits on the sidelines and doesn't join in the fun because you got pushed into the water once when you couldn't swim and you're afraid that it'll happen again.

Instead of facing your fear and enjoying yourself, you make excuses like "I just ate or "I'm tired".

Now compare this to your constant stalking in these pathetic relationship threads and your comments about how you're rather not get laid than hook up with someone who's less than perfect. You have so much potential, you're a good looking guy, you're smart and funny and I know complete dog-faced assholes who constantly snatch up great woman. Why can't you?

...please don't hurt me.

haha, you think that my posting in this thread is a result of bitterness and jealousy. PM me to find out why that's silly.

YakiSOBA has been an attention whore about his relationship since it started. I'm giving him a bit of grief for that. It has nothing to do with me or any insecurities I might have.

 

[MomoPufflet]

After you slam her in the butt, see if she'll let you take a crap on her. You might get a twofer.

 

[Mr. Pointy]

1) Don't be a pussy. Or at least, suck it up, **** her, then sort your problems.

2) If you're going to **** her in the ass, make sure you get her off first. Eat her out or something. When she's buzzing post-orgasm, her ass will feel more sensitive and she'll get more pleasure out of it.

3) When you've stretched her anus wide enough, stick your nuts in there and take a photo. +500,000 net credibility.

 

[Zaptruder]

If you're not fisting it to anal incontinence, you're not doing it right.

 

[b33f]

don't do it. Anal sex is gross. Lick her armpits, instead :lol

 

[tekumseh]

Or just follow THIS LINK: http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/e...ies_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

which should provide several nifty pointers to aid you in your decision making...

Happy Futtbucking!!!

 

[dskillzhtown]

He still hasn't ****ed her ass yet? WTF is he waiting on?

 

[MechDX]

This isnt real, is it?:lol

Why would you ask a bunch of perverted strangers advice on relationships and sex?:lol

 

[jamesinclair]

This isnt real, is it?:lol

Why would you ask a bunch of perverted strangers advice on relationships and sex?:lol

Junior has never been so true

 

[Boogie]

This isnt real, is it?:lol

Why would you ask a bunch of perverted strangers advice on relationships and sex?:lol

You're new here, obviously.

 

[Beezy]

Wow at this thread. I should have continued avoiding it.

 

[Thai]

He still hasn't ****ed her ass yet? WTF is he waiting on?

he's my cousin and told me a bit about it...basically, it was crazy tight, and he lasted like 4 strokes. apparently seeing the shit-smeared condom afterwards almost made him want to throw up. :lol :lol

 

[Socreges]

Also, my current girlfriend, who i've dated for 3 months and am crazy about, won't have sex with me. no she's not a virgin (from the way she's talked probably far from it, which makes me even more frusterated) Her reasoning is that she gained weight and isn't comfortable with her body right now. How awesome for me. I should be the one making a thread. I'm dating a psycho.

Oy, I feel for you, buddy. She's no psycho. She's, well, a female. I gradually discovered that when my gf isn't into it, it's rarely because of something that I've done or didn't do, but because she's insecure. She used to be skinny and is now merely thin without much tone (*groan* she thinks she's fat, but her figure is awesome - yet i cant convince her of that). Your gf is placing a lot of pressure on herself since she wants to be comfortable with herself during that first time. I don't know the cure. It's in her head. If she doesn't start dropping the pounds on her volition (since you can't say ANYTHING, remember that), then you're just going to have to get things hot and heavy one night and hope she rolls with it.

As for Yaki...... I'm just wondering... you've had sex with her multiple times, but she hasn't had an orgasm? So she's appealing for anal? Is that right?

he's my cousin and told me a bit about it...basically, it was crazy tight, and he lasted like 4 strokes. apparently seeing the shit-smeared condom afterwards almost made him want to throw up. :lol :lol

jesus christ :lol

 

[PantherLotus]

Has anybody asked if this person gets paid to post stuff like this? Like that dumbass girl on youtube or w/e that was really cute but when everybody found out she wasn't a 16 year old they fell off the love train?

And if you are real, you're dating a chick that is willing to do anal...and she's still with a schmuck like you? She's cheatin on you d00d.

 

[FateBreaker]

I don't have much to contribute (and I don't think I really want to), but I will say this:

I understand your hesitance and skepticsm about all of this situation. Really, I do. But, man...listen to what the others are saying: You've got to use protection. It's not a big ****ing deal. Even if she doesn't have anything and she's clean, you can still cause harm to her by giving her many things, including one of the worst things imaginable I heard...someone mentioned it...a urinary tract infection. It's very, very bad.

As long as you know you're both clean, not permiscuous (no idea how to spell that), honest, then sex without a condom is pretty much okay, if you wanted a kid. OTHERWISE, USE A CONDOM EVERY DAMN TIME. No exceptions. It's really not a big deal -- let's see, putting on a condom for a night, or possibly getting a sexually transmitted disease OR some shitty weird infection for weeks/months? Tough decision.

 

[Neo_Dasus]

Yaki... how old are you? Some of this shit you shouldn't even be worrying about.

 

[davepoobond]

To FHUTA or Not to FHUTA. That Is the Question.

 

[YakiSOBA]

Well... it happened last weekend.. I didn't want to say anything because it seemed like the thread died off, and it's kind of embarrassing.

We had "regular" (vaginal) sex and she couldn't climax... but she told me she's always had this problem. I dunno, I felt kind of awkward and bad for her as I lubed up the condom on my penis.

She's never had an orgasm before, and I think it's because she puts too much pressure about it... well that's what I told her anyway.

he's my cousin and told me a bit about it...basically, it was crazy tight, and he lasted like 4 strokes. apparently seeing the shit-smeared condom afterwards almost made him want to throw up. :lol :lol

Sigh... well, I'm not gonna lie. It was extremely tight and I maybe was able to thrust half my penis the first few times, and then I got maybe 1-2 full thrusts before I came. It was my first time, and it felt just as good as if I were masterbating because of how tight it was!!

After I pulled out, I went to remove the condom and it was really soaked.. I figured it was just the lube or anal juices... but when I went to the washroom afterwards I noticed there was some of her feces in between the cracks of my fingers.. I don't know how to explain it..I was half trying to hold in my hysterical laughter while furiously trying to wash her shit off my hands.. ridiculous! It was pretty fvcking disgusting.. because it wasn't just shit, like there were definitely some nuggets in there.

ANYWAYS -- so she didn't climax from anal sex either, and now we're unsure what to do. She's frustrated, and I can see why. She doesn't like stimulating herself either, because she finds it weird to do so with someone else there, and she isn't comfortable with me going down on her. SO -- we're thinking of getting a vibrator to try next, but if that doesn't work.. we really don't know what else to do

 

[Spainkiller]

It just sounds as if she's far too uptight about it. You're both overthinking the whole thing.

 

[disappeared]

Good christ I shouldn't have clicked in here.

 

[PhoenixDark]

Wait, you did her in the ass and didn't have the insight to request she clean it out first?

 

[dem]

You need to not talk about past relationships with your girlfriend


why do you even want to hear that crap?

 

[Solo]

I noticed there was some of her feces in between the cracks of my fingers.. I don't know how to explain it..I was half trying to hold in my hysterical laughter while furiously trying to wash her shit off my hands.. ridiculous! It was pretty fvcking disgusting.. because it wasn't just shit, like there were definitely some nuggets in there.

....

:lol

 

[madara]

This thread is levels of scary I never seen before on GAF. Please tell me the average age of posters in this thread is around 11 :lol

 

[Zenith]

ANYWAYS -- so she didn't climax from anal sex either, and now we're unsure what to do.

yes, it's a mystery...

 

[tombur]

I got maybe 1-2 full thrusts before I came

Oh dear god im actually crying, half with actual laughter, and half for poor gaf

 

[Oldschoolgamer]

It was pretty fvcking disgusting.. because it wasn't just shit, like there were definitely some nuggets in there.

o.0






:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

Dude...

Dude.....


DUDE!




As for the orgasm problem...it might be psychological. If you really want that to happen, she needs to be comfortable. Sometimes its not all about the guy, and this is probably one of them. Don't make giving her an orgasm a high priority...that will more than likely mess with her self esteem(don't know her, so I really can't say), and make things worse. Try messing around with her, using your hands, and a some other stuff...like ice or something...

Of course, you could suck in the sack...

 

[the year 20XX]

ANYWAYS -- so she didn't climax from anal sex either, and now we're unsure what to do. She's frustrated, and I can see why. She doesn't like stimulating herself either, because she finds it weird to do so with someone else there, and she isn't comfortable with me going down on her. SO -- we're thinking of getting a vibrator to try next, but if that doesn't work.. we really don't know what else to do

You've done so much typing in this thread, I didn't realize you didn't have hands.

 

[Instigator]

Sigh... well, I'm not gonna lie. It was extremely tight and I maybe was able to thrust half my penis the first few times, and then I got maybe 1-2 full thrusts before I came. It was my first time, and it felt just as good as if I were masterbating because of how tight it was!!

ANYWAYS -- so she didn't climax from anal sex either

After one or two full thrusts, do you really expect her to?