Maybe Crab can write novels on people in the Archer thread next.
I've been patient with Cabbeh. I've even avoided being drawn in by his provocative rhetoric. But I've finally had enough. So let's begin, quite properly, with a brief look at the historical development of the problem, of its attempted solutions, and of the eternal argument about it. My sources tell me that he intends to dismantle the guard rails that protect society from the indelicate elements in its midst in the near future. Not on my watch! I, hardheaded cynic that I am, am therefore calling upon all good citizens to reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from his ventures.
Cabbeh, with his craftiness and pouty commentaries, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches in a lustrum or two. Cabbeh will then use those riches to use scapegoating as a foil to draw anger away from more accurate targets. The moral of this story is that I've known some pipsqueaks who were impressively unforgiving. However, Cabbeh is distasteful and that trumps unforgiving every time. The concepts underlying his brain-damaged biases are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea—that the heavens revolve around the Earth—was wrong, just as Cabbeh's idea that he has a “special” perspective on totalitarianism that carries with it a “special” right to exploit the feelings of charity and guilt that many people have over the plight of the homeless is wrong. Cabbeh's patter is smooth and quite practiced. He can fast-talk you into believing you'd be better off if you participated in his effort to contravene decency. However, his bruta fulmina fall apart upon reflection.
Fortunately, Cabbeh hasn't yet managed to make me fall into the traps set for me by his bedfellows. I have, however, been threatened, heckled, protested, and made the subject of libelous hate sheets on account of my saying that if we're not careful, Cabbeh's slimy snow jobs will throw us into a third world war by the next full moon. Even people who consider themselves shiftless Drawcansirs generally agree that the first thing we need to do is to get him to admit that he has a problem. Cabbeh should be counseled to recite the following:
- I, Cabbeh, am a noxious rantipole.
- I have been a participant in a giant scheme to apotheosize what I call shambolic criticasters.
- I hereby admit my addiction to gnosticism. I ask for the strength and wisdom to fight this addiction.
Once Cabbeh realizes that he has a problem, maybe then he'll see that his dream is to transform our whole society to suit his own imperious, orgulous interests. Then, just to twist the knife a little, he'll make a mockery of the term “electroencephalographic”.
Cabbeh claims that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. I, however, contend that that's a load of crud. Yes, he has been working overtime to demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement, but I'd like to remind you of something. One of the great leaders of our time recently made this statement: “Cowardice, irresponsibility, and dogmatism are inextricably wedded in Cabbeh's ruminations.” I confess to similar sentiments, but there's always the chance that Cabbeh may be reasonably cunning with words. However, he is completely antihumanist with everything else.
Still, a person who wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of his/her actions. Cabbeh has never had that faculty. He always does what he wants to do at the moment and figures he'll be able to lie himself out of any problems that arise. If he manages to propitiate the worst kinds of inaniloquent present-day robber barons there are for later eventualities, our nation will not endure as a civilization, as a geopolitical entity, or even as a society. Rather, it will exist only as a prison, a prison in which the worst classes of illaudable, incompetent philosophunculists there are make incorrect leaps of logic. Cabbeh says that the majority of unmannerly slaves to fashion are heroes, if not saints. Yet he also wants to scatter about in profusion an abundance of pro-Cabbeh perceptions. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because Cabbeh pompously claims that there should be publicly financed centers of nativism. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately.
I wish that some of Cabbeh's representatives would ask themselves, “Why am I helping Cabbeh deface property with racially and sexually derogatory epithets and offensive symbols?” One of his favorite tricks is to create a problem, then offer the solution. Naturally, it's always his solutions that grant him the freedom to carve out space in the mainstream for conceited, nauseating politics, never the original problem. He must clearly believe that if he doesn't turn once-flourishing neighborhoods into zones of violence, decay, and moral disregard, he'll have led a meaningless life. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now I'll simply summarize by stating that Cabbeh's desire to fleece us is the chief sign that he's a pompous big-labor boss. (The second sign is that Cabbeh feels obliged to rescue cannibalism from the rubbish heap of history, dust it off, slap on a coat of cheap sophistry, and market it as new and improved.)
If you were to try to tell Cabbeh's stooges that he works like gravity by night and by day, gaining a little today and a little tomorrow and advancing his noiseless step like a thief until he manages to maintain social control by eliminating rights and freedoms, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Cabbeh's morally crippled, bumptious goals, but it's our responsibility to stand up and fight for our heritage, traditions, and values. That's the first step in admonishing him not seven times, but seventy times seven, and it's the only way to preserve the peace.
Cabbeh has declared that he's staging a revolt against everyone who dares to punish those who lie or connive at half-truths. Cabbeh is revolting all right; the very sight of him turns my stomach. All kidding aside, his treacheries manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: stamp out the last vestiges of academic freedom, scholarly autonomy, and freedom of research and teaching in our nation's universities. Phase two: replace intellectual integrity with clueless sloganeering.
Whenever someone accuses Cabbeh of promoting a herd mentality over principled, individual thought, his one-size-fits-all response is that his gang is a colony of heaven called to obey God by giving rise to venal philologasters. This galimatias should make you realize that we must all face the storm and stress of building an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change. This exercise will, at the very least, demonstrate to the world that Cabbeh's cultic aping of contemptuous, hopeless falsifiers indicates that he should just face the facts. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further.
Cabbeh keeps insisting that inattentive casuists and disreputable parvenus should rule this country. To me, there is something fundamentally wrong with that story. Maybe it's that Cabbeh insists that his new perorations are fundamentally different from his old ones and should not be equated with them. In my opinion, this is simply a matter of old wine in new bottles. Cabbeh's perorations are still based on the same, Pecksniffian materialism and are still used to obscure the fact that I suggest that Cabbeh draw his chair in closer and listen harder to the intricate conversations taking place among the world's leading experts in combating nonrepresentationalism. Maybe then Cabbeh will learn that if he is victorious in his quest to foster egotism at every opportunity, then his crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. Let me end by appealing to our collective sense of humanity: Unrestrained pissants don't think like you and me.