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Game reviewer cliches

Atari2600 said:
How cliche is it to whine about game reviewers. Don't like reviews? Don't read them, or even better do your own.

Of course that won't happen, cause we wouldn't have anything to talk about at GAF. Just do the GAF thing and bitch about it.
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I don't like the government . . . I should start my own!
 
SickBoy said:
Games seem to have an alarming propensity for oozing. I think it's a neat figure of speech, but I see it far too often, and I've found it annoying for a while:

Gamespy starts it off slow "oozing" 17 times, not including oozes that happen outside of the basic "game oozes" search

1up oozes 23 times

Gamespot is serious about gaming, oozing 55 times

But the granddaddy of oozing, IGN oozes 66 times

Searching just for the term oozes brings up 138 on 1up, and I presume it brings up more instances at all the others as well.
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"I had no idea I was so popular!"
 
"Think of it as GTA meets X"

Not that I have a problem with GTA, but surley you can think of a better adjectice for "third person shooter" than GTA.
 
RE: "mixed bag."

I'd be curious to see how frequently the phrase "mixed bag" comes up in GameSpot articles, since it's listed specifically as a no-no to avoid in the Writing Guide they sent me way back when I first began freelancing for them.

A big Thank You for pointing out "oozing" -- I definitely use the term too damn much, and it's high time I stopped.
 
Regarding the front page blurb for a review, something along these lines:

"Does it live up to the hype? Read our full review to find out!"

This is obnoxious for a number of reasons. First of all, if you're reviewing the game, chances are you were the person who hyped it. You're rhetorically asking the reader, then, if the game is as good as you claimed it would be in the past. In other words: "Am I totally full of shit?" More often than not, yes, you are.

Then there is the term "full review." What exactly are you implying with that term? Are your competitors posting three-quarter reviews? Was there a point in the early history of the site where, without warning, reviews collapsed under the weight of the tens of viewers and the user could only read up to the section on how the sound effects of the game are "standard fare for this sort of game?"

Then the whole supposed cliff hanger effect. "Click here to find out!" "Read on to find out!" What?! You're not going to tell me, in the 20 word blurb on your main page, specific pros and cons of the game and give me a detailed explanation of, and the final score for the game you're promoting? Or are you supposing that the average reader of a video game website is too stupid to figure out that they should, in fact, read the review to, you know, read a review of the game?
 
Use of the word "simian" every time a game involves apes or monkeys.

"Brethren" has really got to go, too. Particularly "console brethren."
 
I HATE Kasavin, but the review for Countdown to D-day was a classic. (Atleast I think it was Kasavin)
Too bad they took it down and made him change it.

It was something like..

Countdown to D-day, from the company Widescreen Games, doesn't offer widescreen...

Well, that's about it.
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As for cliches I often read, here are two that alwasy bug me.

"The graphics are very stylized" (So is that good or bad?)
"The game runs at a steady framerate" (I should fucking hope so.)
 
Intuitive is rather silly to point out because a lot of games either succeed or fail on this basic concept alone.

Slick menus is a good one though :D
 
"intuitive" is a cliche? I've always found it to be a word to say that either the controls or the concept are easy to grasp. I dunno, "intuitive" sounds like a meaningful word to me. I want games to be intuitive.
 
Jeff-DSA said:
I really wish people would stop saying that a game is "digital crack." The term got old the first time it was used...

"Slick" and "sleek" are words that get WAY overrused too.
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How about we say "Analog Crack" from now on for that bit of "Old School" flavor? :D
 
The second paragraph of every review is, of course, a plot summary of the so called story, that in the majority of games, was written on the back of a napkin at some greasy spoon.

If I wanted to know the game's story, I'd PLAY THE GAME MYSELF!
 
"...far from perfect."

Gee, you think? Please tell what is this goddamned fabled game that is used as a reference point for such a saying?!!

It's abused in all sort of reviews in general, movies, music, writing, whatever!!!
 
Not really of a cliche, more of an annoyance, at least in most of the IGN reviews I've seen on the GBA games. They quite literally never mention about the multiplayer aspects of most of the games. What of Sonic Advance? Doom? Duke Nukem Advance? Donkey Kong Country 2? Kirby and the Amazing Mirror? Rayman 3?

My guessing is that some of the others dont really have time to review those games and have to settle with outright not buying them.
 
To be honest with you guys, reviews are nothing but nit-picking spoiler-filled trash. I pretty much just look at the final score and comments to get an idea of what the person thought of the game.

I usually won't change my decision to buy or not buy a game unless a game scores very high or very low.




Gamers word of mouth >>>>>>> Website reviews
 
Reviewers are gamers just like you guys. There is a discourse to being a game reviewer like any other profession. Let's list off hockey announcer cliches or any sporting even announcer cliches. Or how about political cliches? There are ways of speaking in every different sphere of society. I'm not saying reviews are great, but that there should be some slack given. Originality is hard to come by and even harder to create.
 
Numerical scores.

Let's list off hockey announcer cliches or any sporting even announcer cliches. Or how about political cliches?
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If this forum was dedicated to those things, we probably would.
 
Kaijima said:
How cliche is it to come into a topic just to say that the topic sucks?
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Okay, you got kind of got me on that one. But, this is a negative thread and I was just continuing the negative sentiments. It's not like someone was singing the praises of something and I came in and said it's cow's ass. :)
 
Alucard said:
Originality is hard to come by and even harder to create.
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But they're paid to overcome that hurdle. Once money is involved, the whole "c'mon guys, give em a break, they're just normal guys" argument goes right out the window. Besides, complacency breeds failure, or at least stagnation, so hopefully most decent game writers are as hard on themselves and their colleagues as we're being on them.
 
SickBoy said:
Games seem to have an alarming propensity for oozing.
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Crap. I just realized a couple of my reviews had oozing mentioned :\....
 
i like game reviews that just string together clichés and arbitrary catchphrases in some barely plausible way for their entire length. and it's amazing how many of them there are. if i didn't know better, i'd think they were dictated.
 
Game reviewers also work for slave wages (if they're paid at all). Try reviewing a 50 hour RPG, and only getting $100-$200. (compounded by the fact that you might get one that's pure crap like Gothic 2 or Suikoden 3, which makes the $2/hour wage even MORE painful)

That's too cheap to export to China. In fact, freelance reviewing seems to be a suckers job if you've moved out of your parents' house.

What a "mixed bag" of a profession!
 
Alucard said:
Reviewers are gamers just like you guys. There is a discourse to being a game reviewer like any other profession. Let's list off hockey announcer cliches or any sporting even announcer cliches. Or how about political cliches? There are ways of speaking in every different sphere of society. I'm not saying reviews are great, but that there should be some slack given. Originality is hard to come by and even harder to create.
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I'm sure it's possible to set the bar lower than sports commentary, but I'll be damned if I can think of it.
 
bobbyconover said:
But they're paid to overcome that hurdle. Once money is involved, the whole "c'mon guys, give em a break, they're just normal guys" argument goes right out the window. Besides, complacency breeds failure, or at least stagnation, so hopefully most decent game writers are as hard on themselves and their colleagues as we're being on them.
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Mag writers yes, but I would say that a large majority of online reviewers work for free. Gamers themselves use the language of reviews, so I would say that most reviewers are just giving the gaming public what they already want and expect.
 
Mr_Furious said:
-Game is too short.

This one really bugs me :-\
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How are these cliches? They're statements of truth. How many different ways can you say that a game is "too short" or "too easy"? I think we're reaching for straws here, folks.

"For those of you who have been living under a rock for the last few years..."

This isn't only characteristic of game reviews, but any form of entertainment review or article.
 
Ok, so now...someone post a link to an excellent review...one without cliches...one that's original, and one that's appropriate for the entire buying public (this is key)...not just for the reader who values excellent writing and different approaches. If you cannot find one, then write one.

Be careful what you choose. ;)
 
Bad Star Wars game: "This isn't the Star Wars game you're looking for...just move along, move along"
Bad Lord of the Rings game: "Stinks like Gollum's loincloth/feces"
 
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