Gay and Bisexual Coming-out thread |OT|

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betweenthewheels said:
I've been a little 'bi-curious' recently. How do I go about finding a guy to experiment with that doesn't require bars/clubs or online dating?

It sounds like i'm ruling out any possible chances with those stipulations. I'm just a little hesitant to hop in the sack with someone who wont treat me like the delicate flower that I am.
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You're ruling out a lot. Why don't you want to try those methods. I'm sure there are men or women you can find at those places that'll treat you like a flower. I guess you can just join school clubs and try to meet people there.
 
_Isaac said:
You're ruling out a lot. Why don't you want to try those methods. I'm sure there are men or women you can find at those places that'll treat you like a flower. I guess you can just join school clubs and try to meet people there.
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I guess i'm thinking that a guy who just wants a fuck would be turned off having to go half speed with me. Only thing i'm hesitant on is anal.

Unless fooling around with a "straight" guy is worth the tradeoff...i dont know.
 
Honestly, if you're curious about trying something and anal is the biggest worry/concern, why not get a dildo to practice with first? They're not (always) expensive and plenty come in "normal" sizes as well as freakishly scary. That way you can test the waters to see if anal is even something you might enjoy.
 
So I came out to my dad last night and it actually went surprisingly well

I'm not one that really likes the idea of coming out as IMO ones sexuality is their personal business and I figured my family would find out that I'm Bi if I had a boyfriend and they met him. It came up last night though so I just decided to go for it.

We were both pretty drunk (probably not the time to do something like this, but whatever) so it's hard to remember exactly but he did the whole I love you and of course I'll accept you bit and it was pretty nice. The other times I intentionally came out to my mom and sister neither of them really thought it was a big thing so they didn't say anything like that, which was nice that they didn't think anything of it but it was nice that my dad did.

I think at one point he said something about accepting my "choice" which made me a little sad, and I think I corrected him on it, but I'm not going to dwell on a detail like that when it could have gone a lot worse.

So yeah, yay :)
 
I have a friend (one of my best) - we know us for 5-6 years now. After some time i assumed he was gay. now I'm 100% sure (he showed me his new mac and i spotted a gay dating side as one of his favorites). All these years he came up with ridiculous stores about him fucking girls whenever some duds talked about the topic on parties etc.

One one side i don't want him to feel uncomfortable by asking but on the other side it would be very refreshing if he for once stood by his gaynes. I even kissed a guy in front of him to see his reaction.
he just turned around :(
. oh and I talked to a friend of his that knows him for 15+ years - same situation, he always denied that he's gay.
so what to do?

edit: thread is kind of old :|
 
sankt-Antonio said:
I have a friend (one of my best) - we know us for 5-6 years now. After some time i assumed he was gay. now I'm 100% sure (he showed me his new mac and i spotted a gay dating side as one of his favorites). All these years he came up with ridiculous stores about him fucking girls whenever some duds talked about the topic on parties etc.

One one side i don't want him to feel uncomfortable by asking but on the other side it would be very refreshing if he for once stood by his gaynes. I even kissed a guy in front of him to see his reaction.
he just turned around :(
. oh and I talked to a friend of his that knows him for 15+ years - same situation, he always denied that he's gay.
so what to do?

edit: thread is kind of old :|
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Create a profile on that gay dating site and contact him
 
Marius_ said:
Create a profile on that gay dating site and contact him
Click to expand...

Worst advice ever.

The only thing to do is let him know you'd be supportive if he came out. Nothing more you can do besides asking him point blank.
 
sankt-Antonio said:
I have a friend (one of my best) - we know us for 5-6 years now. After some time i assumed he was gay. now I'm 100% sure (he showed me his new mac and i spotted a gay dating side as one of his favorites). All these years he came up with ridiculous stores about him fucking girls whenever some duds talked about the topic on parties etc.

One one side i don't want him to feel uncomfortable by asking but on the other side it would be very refreshing if he for once stood by his gaynes. I even kissed a guy in front of him to see his reaction.
he just turned around :(
. oh and I talked to a friend of his that knows him for 15+ years - same situation, he always denied that he's gay.
so what to do?

edit: thread is kind of old :|
Click to expand...
Kiss him and see if he turns around again.
Not really.
 
Alcoori said:
Worst advice ever.

The only thing to do is let him know you'd be supportive if he came out. Nothing more you can do besides asking him point blank.
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It better for him to be %100 sure that he is gay then asking him and end up insulting him
 
Hey GayGAF - figured I should introduce myself. I'm 19, out to my brother, mom and friends from camp. I actually only came out to my friends from camp recently. I had told a couple the year before. For the rest, they all had their suspicions, and I felt kind of awkward just bringing it up, so I just sort of edged into it. I never outright said 'I'm gay,' but whenever relationship stuff came up, I didn't hold back my interests. Seemed to work pretty well. I was the second gay guy at the camp, so no one had any problem.

Now I need to figure out how to tell my university friends =). I'd like to get it over with, but I'm not in that much of a rush. Hopefully it will be done by the end of the school year. I'm lucky in that basically all of the people I associate with, family included, are pretty open minded.
 
It's quite likely the friend simply isn't comfortable with his homosexuality and doesn't yet want to pursue it beyond feeding his curiosities online. Trying to drag him out of the closet is only going to make it worse; all you should feel compelled to do is show your support and openness to the issue if/when it comes up in conversations. When he's ready to tell everyone, he will, but until then it doesn't need to be any of your business.
 
Tuck said:
Hey GayGAF - figured I should introduce myself. I'm 19, out to my brother, mom and friends from camp. I actually only came out to my friends from camp recently. I had told a couple the year before. For the rest, they all had their suspicions, and I felt kind of awkward just bringing it up, so I just sort of edged into it. I never outright said 'I'm gay,' but whenever relationship stuff came up, I didn't hold back my interests. Seemed to work pretty well. I was the second gay guy at the camp, so no one had any problem.

Now I need to figure out how to tell my university friends =). I'd like to get it over with, but I'm not in that much of a rush. Hopefully it will be done by the end of the school year. I'm lucky in that basically all of the people I associate with, family included, are pretty open minded.
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Don't know how the environment is where you are (though you did say your friends and family are open minded), but I'm friends with a couple of gay people, who I met in college. We're all cool and no one has problems with them being gay. One of my good friends is bisexual. If your environment is similar to mine, I'm sure your university friends will be OK with it.

You'll be just fine, I'm sure. If they're your friends, they'll accept you.

A couple of people I know came out after high school. My high school (during my time there) would probably be a pretty scary place for someone to be open about it, since the place just breeds homophobic attitudes. And, no, it's not because it's a Catholic school, but because of the people that go there (the students).
 
sankt-Antonio said:
I have a friend (one of my best) - we know us for 5-6 years now. After some time i assumed he was gay. now I'm 100% sure (he showed me his new mac and i spotted a gay dating side as one of his favorites). All these years he came up with ridiculous stores about him fucking girls whenever some duds talked about the topic on parties etc.

One one side i don't want him to feel uncomfortable by asking but on the other side it would be very refreshing if he for once stood by his gaynes. I even kissed a guy in front of him to see his reaction.
he just turned around :(
. oh and I talked to a friend of his that knows him for 15+ years - same situation, he always denied that he's gay.
so what to do?

edit: thread is kind of old :|
Click to expand...

I thought it was just proper etiquette to not stare at people when they're kissing.
 
Marius_ said:
Create a profile on that gay dating site and contact him
Click to expand...

that would be very nasty, and i would never do that.

Cosmic Bus said:
It's quite likely the friend simply isn't comfortable with his homosexuality and doesn't yet want to pursue it beyond feeding his curiosities online. Trying to drag him out of the closet is only going to make it worse; all you should feel compelled to do is show your support and openness to the issue if/when it comes up in conversations. When he's ready to tell everyone, he will, but until then it doesn't need to be any of your business.
Click to expand...

this is what i was doing for the last 5 years or so - waiting for him to come out.

And no, its not curiosity on his side. He is 100% gay and that is what "bugs me".
I really tried hard to make him realize that i have no problem with gay people (i shared a flat with gay people for seven months) but its still not enough.

You know, i talk to him about everything no matter how private it is. I think that our friendship could be way deeper if he could just tell me "I'm gay". Maybe he's just afraid that i could tell other people...

Shazzam6999 said:
I thought it was just proper etiquette to not stare at people when they're kissing.
Click to expand...

One thing is to stare at people and the other to turn around and act like nothing happened. He did not want to be pulled in a conversation about men kissing men. I could tell. Maybe it came of the wrong way but i actually kissed the guy because i wanted to - it was not just an act of testing my friends gaynes.


Alcoori said:
Worst advice ever.

The only thing to do is let him know you'd be supportive if he came out. Nothing more you can do besides asking him point blank.
Click to expand...

i don't know if i should. :|
 
sankt-Antonio said:
that would be very nasty, and i would never do that.



this is what i was doing for the last 5 years or so - waiting for him to come out.

And no, its not curiosity on his side. He is 100% gay and that is what "bugs me".
I really tried hard to make him realize that i have no problem with gay people (i shared a flat with gay people for seven months) but its still not enough.

You know, i talk to him about everything no matter how private it is. I think that our friendship could be way deeper if he could just tell me "I'm gay". Maybe he's just afraid that i could tell other people...



One thing is to stare at people and the other to turn around and act like nothing happened. He did not want to be pulled in a conversation about men kissing men. I could tell. Maybe it came of the wrong way but i actually kissed the guy because i wanted to - it was not just an act of testing my friends gaynes.




i don't know if i should. :|
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So are you gay?
 
Marius_ said:
It better for him to be %100 sure that he is gay then asking him and end up insulting him
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I am sure. I don't think that asking someone if he is gay is insulting.

I had to order some "cook art book" for him with my credit card because he has none. Told me he collects art books.

He , I and some friends went to a gayclub (all of his friends, my friends and i are very open and sometimes we all go to gayclubs just to mix things up a little) so at the time we all wanted to go to another place he was surrounded by 4 guys and told us he's going to stay for a little longer and basically pushed us out the club. It was just a very weird situation, because we were like "cool we could stay a little longer to".

I think he has a friend/lover. Whenever we walk around the campus he meets this guy and talks in cryptic ways with him. Not even once has the told me who he is , his name or anything. The other guy acts like I'm made out of air. They just excange a couple of words and the guy is gone. I told my friend that he has some mysterious friends and he only replied " well, i am myserious" WTF?!?. We meet a lot of people on campus and i get to know every last one of them - its just so strange.

A lot of these kind of very obvious things.

edit: he can't stop talking about true blood and gay vampires :D

BlazingDarkness said:
So are you gay?
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im not. i lust like to kiss men once in a while.
 
sankt-Antonio said:
im not. i lust like to kiss men once in a while.
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I use to do this once in a while but sometimes I find myself masturbating to gay porn..

I am engaged with a really nice and pretty girl and we are in love but sometimes I get this "gay moment" that I really want to do something with a man but I don't want to cheat on my GF altough I still love her.

It's.. I think im bi, because I enjoy girls but I really want to try out guys.
 
Rez said:
dude
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KuGsj.gif
yeah that's a bad idea.
 
btkadams said:
KuGsj.gif
yeah that's a bad idea.
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How? just create a fake persona, contact him. Ask him if he is out or not and why or whatever question sankt-Antonio wants to know. His friend will never know it was him and he might get the answers he is looking for.

Some people are more open to complete strangers than their close friends, so why not.
 
Marius_ said:
How? just create a fake persona, contact him. Ask him if he is out or not and why or whatever question sankt-Antonio wants to know. His friend will never know it was him and he might get the answers he is looking for.

Some people are more open to complete strangers than their close friends, so why not.
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Because it's such a creepy way to go about it.
If his friend is indeed gay then what? Is he just gonna pretend to not know about it? Is he gonna keep prodding him about it?

IMO it's just inviting drama in for no reason. If you are gonna do that, you might as well do it to his face.
 
Chef Cat said:
I really, really like my best friend. Only she's a girl, who is straight, and I'm a girl, who is... bisexual, I guess. ;_; What do I do?
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Stay away from her if possible or at least emotionally detached yourself from her. The longer you let the feeling to affect you, the more heartbreak it'd bring. Focus your crush on other people who can reciprocate your attention.
 
Chef Cat said:
I really, really like my best friend. Only she's a girl, who is straight, and I'm a girl, who is... bisexual, I guess. ;_; What do I do?
Click to expand...
Get over her, you broke the primary rule dont fall for someone who will never love you back.
 
Chef Cat said:
I really, really like my best friend. Only she's a girl, who is straight, and I'm a girl, who is... bisexual, I guess. ;_; What do I do?
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Is she the type to freak out about something like this? Or do you think she would be cool?
 
Marius_ said:
Get over her, you broke the primary rule dont fall for someone who will never love you back.
Click to expand...
I didn't know there were rules... :(

RatskyWatsky said:
Is she the type to freak out about something like this? Or do you think she would be cool?
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I think she'd be... okay about it. I'm not sure. I mean, she's totally open-minded, I guess It'd just freak her out a little that I like her...
 
Chef Cat said:
I think she'd be... okay about it. I'm not sure. I mean, she's totally open-minded, I guess It'd just freak her out a little that I like her...
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There's a good chance that making a move for her might end or at least change your relationship, maybe for the negative. Are you willing to risk it?
 
RatskyWatsky said:
It sucks, but you're not alone. There are tons of people out there who like their best friends, but never go ahead with anything.
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*raises hand* Distance (geographical) helped. Metaphorical distance ought to help too.
 
Yazus said:
I use to do this once in a while but sometimes I find myself masturbating to gay porn..

I am engaged with a really nice and pretty girl and we are in love but sometimes I get this "gay moment" that I really want to do something with a man but I don't want to cheat on my GF altough I still love her.

It's.. I think im bi, because I enjoy girls but I really want to try out guys.
Click to expand...

I masturbate to straight porn but I don't think that would make me bisexual.

I think it just means you are easy-going and realize that a nice, hungry, bubble butt has to be fucked, regardless of whether it belongs to a man or a woman. :)
 
Siebzehn50 said:
Been a while since I've been around here, not sure if any of you guys remember me.

Hi :)
Click to expand...

Hi. You'll need to refresh out memory by posting a pic of yourself,

edit: woah, alot of new members joining Gay Gaf.
 
Going back a bit here, but I wanted to reply to this.
Yazus said:
I use to do this once in a while but sometimes I find myself masturbating to gay porn..

I am engaged with a really nice and pretty girl and we are in love but sometimes I get this "gay moment" that I really want to do something with a man but I don't want to cheat on my GF altough I still love her.

It's.. I think im bi, because I enjoy girls but I really want to try out guys.
Click to expand...
Sexuality is a spectrum, don't feel you have to fit specifically into a category, and don't feel that just because you fantasize about something that it means you have to try it for real. And don't cheat on your fiancé, maybe do talk about each others sexual fantasies though. It can help a lot if you are both able to be open with each other.

sphinx said:
I masturbate to straight porn but I don't think that would make me bisexual.

I think it just means you are easy-going and realize that a nice, hungry, bubble butt has to be fucked, regardless of whether it belongs to a man or a woman. :)
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That too :)

Chef Cat said:
I really, really like my best friend. Only she's a girl, who is straight, and I'm a girl, who is... bisexual, I guess. ;_; What do I do?
Click to expand...
You suck it up, unless you want to risk your friendship. It sucks, but there are only a few options in that situation. If you value her friendship most, you have to take the pain, if you can't take the pain you risk your friendship. It sucks. Hope things get better.

Sorry if that sounded a bit cold, it is just not a great situation to be in. Sorry.
 
royalan said:
Wait wut?

What is this?

Why are there two?
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There have always been two, this one is just neglected. The two came about when the original gay thread was closed down. This one is just about coming out, except they've both kinda turned into general chat.

Oh, and there's no bitchiness in here. Yet.
 
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