_Isaac said:
HE WAS ON STEAM AT FIVE IN THE MORNING! HE COULD'VE BOOTED IT UP AND STARTED A ROUND! BUT NOOOO STEAM WON'T LET ME PM HIM BECAUSE HE'S ONLINE BUT SIGNED OFF. >:|
Yes, yes he is. And he wears hoodies.
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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
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HE WAS ON STEAM AT FIVE IN THE MORNING! HE COULD'VE BOOTED IT UP AND STARTED A ROUND! BUT NOOOO STEAM WON'T LET ME PM HIM BECAUSE HE'S ONLINE BUT SIGNED OFF. >:|
Yes, yes he is. And he wears hoodies.
!
From the League of Legends thread: they are streaming a LoL championship at http://esports.ign.com/ipl/tv/?starcraft2/live/ignproleague2 and Rivington 3rd from Riot is shoutcasting so gays might be interested. He's so dreamy, I want to marry him.
HappyPuppy
Member
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HappyPuppy
Member
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So I asked for a name change so people couldn't find this, but I'm going to come out and start talking anyway.
Basically I've had no luck with girls forever. I am in my final year of college and had 1 girlfriend since HS. I don't even remember what to do with dates. Part of the problem is I have extreme social anxiety. Anyway, the reason I'm in this thread is because even though I never wanted to admit it, I've always been more interested in guys. I hate it, I hate the fact that I can never tell my parents or most of my friends, etc etc. but I'm trying to deal with it as I'm tired of being lonely.
I've sort of given up on the girls part...at least for now having not had much luck and being extremely picky anyway. The social anxeity and "shyness" is killing me on the guy side too and while I have really good friends (who I still hang with) when I go home here in college I have basically none. That is extremely lonely.
Thus, it's hard to meet people at all (even for friendship). So I've resorted to using Grindr and I don't know how you can be much more desperate than that but I have. There's a guy on there (with a great body...I most certainly do not have one) who I've been talking to and I really have no idea what he's interested in grindr for. We talk but he takes forever to respond to the point where I've sometimes figured he has no interest in me. Or I'll say "hey" and he'll appear to be on, but then randomly say "Hey" to me once I've already closed out of grindr and went to bed. Strange, right?
Anyway I talked with him some more yesterday and I kind of just said fuck it and asked if he wanted to hang out or get a drink sometime. He said sure. Problem is I don't know what he's expecting (being on grindr and all w/a shirtless pic) and while part of me really wants to fool around I'm also extremely scared both because it's a guy and just because I haven't ever had sex or even hung out with people that I could ever potentially be more than friends. I'm completely lost Gaf and sorry for typing a novel, but I really want to know what to even do if I invite him over lol. I don't know how to "hang out" with someone like that..especially someone I have never met or even to have a date. Ugh...
Basically I've had no luck with girls forever. I am in my final year of college and had 1 girlfriend since HS. I don't even remember what to do with dates. Part of the problem is I have extreme social anxiety. Anyway, the reason I'm in this thread is because even though I never wanted to admit it, I've always been more interested in guys. I hate it, I hate the fact that I can never tell my parents or most of my friends, etc etc. but I'm trying to deal with it as I'm tired of being lonely.
I've sort of given up on the girls part...at least for now having not had much luck and being extremely picky anyway. The social anxeity and "shyness" is killing me on the guy side too and while I have really good friends (who I still hang with) when I go home here in college I have basically none. That is extremely lonely.
Thus, it's hard to meet people at all (even for friendship). So I've resorted to using Grindr and I don't know how you can be much more desperate than that but I have. There's a guy on there (with a great body...I most certainly do not have one) who I've been talking to and I really have no idea what he's interested in grindr for. We talk but he takes forever to respond to the point where I've sometimes figured he has no interest in me. Or I'll say "hey" and he'll appear to be on, but then randomly say "Hey" to me once I've already closed out of grindr and went to bed. Strange, right?
Anyway I talked with him some more yesterday and I kind of just said fuck it and asked if he wanted to hang out or get a drink sometime. He said sure. Problem is I don't know what he's expecting (being on grindr and all w/a shirtless pic) and while part of me really wants to fool around I'm also extremely scared both because it's a guy and just because I haven't ever had sex or even hung out with people that I could ever potentially be more than friends. I'm completely lost Gaf and sorry for typing a novel, but I really want to know what to even do if I invite him over lol. I don't know how to "hang out" with someone like that..especially someone I have never met or even to have a date. Ugh...
SpaceBridge
Member
xcrunner529 said:
Hey, sorry just to clarify, your a previous member of GAF who requested a name change cuz youre wanting to post in this thread?
In regards to your question, I would suggest you take it super-super slow. In fact, due to your social anxiety and shyness, this might be the best option.
Ideally, I would recommend making gay friends, by either participating with a college student gay group, or gay youth support group (which is what I did) to help you get used to gay people and the community of your city/town (where do you live btw?). Honestly, try not go into the Grindr "date" with any preconceived fantasies of what might play out, cuz most likely it will be the total opposite. Grindr does not quality make, for most of the time. But I dont have too much experience with online dating as Ive always done it face to face. (Cid might have some advise in that regard). Honestly, I don't even think "hooking" up with a dude right now is the best for you, my advise would be an attempt to just meet other gay people, so that you might know that your not alone. And trust me, before coming out, feeling alone is any young gays best friend.
Anyways, welcome to gay gaf, were here to help.
No I need my current name changed because it's been used in other places and people know it. If they happened to search google they'd probably find the posts here and not being "out" that would be bad.
Also, just to clarify...I don't have much anxiety or problems with my current friends. In fact I am very outgoing at that time. It's when it's people I don't know, strangers, making new friends parts where I have major issues and that's part of my big problem.
Also, just to clarify...I don't have much anxiety or problems with my current friends. In fact I am very outgoing at that time. It's when it's people I don't know, strangers, making new friends parts where I have major issues and that's part of my big problem.
SpaceBridge
Member
xcrunner529 said:
Oh, I guess I misunderstood.
Well, everyone gets nervous when meeting new people, especially when it comes to other dudes (its like meeting a girl for the first time). Do you have any gay friends? How big is the gay student body at your school, and the gay community in your city?
Yep. I had to do a similar thing.xcrunner529 said:
xcrunner529 said:
You don't have a big problem. You havve friends and you're outgoing. You don't really seem shy. Well, moving on to your original post.
xcrunner529 said:
If you're so ashamed of Grindr why don't you try something like OKCupid? People are usually less about the "cawks" on there, and I guess it doesn't appear so "tacky." I honestly don't know if Grindr is tacky, but everybody here tends to be pretty down on it. Either way, it doesn't matter because you've actually spotted a guy that interests you. Don't write him off completely based on your web interactions. If he's usually always ignoring you then yeah it might be a warning sign, but some people like myself are just easily distracted when they're online, so sometimes a response might take a while. You'll get a better impression in person, hopefully. So you asked him if he wasnted to hang out and he said yes. Did it just end there or did it go into the planning stages? Are you guys going out for coffee or something? Did nothing come of it? You're not specific, so it seems like you haven't really done that. You said you maybe wanted to fool around. Is this something you want to do on the first date? I've always been one to suggest to first meet in a public place and get to know him first. He's a lot less likely to murder you out in public. From there, you just try to get to know him and see if you have more things in common. Hopefully, this will make sexy time much less scary, but yeah that first date will probably make you nervous. I think it makes most of us nervous.
I just realized I typed so much without saying anything.
SpaceBridge
Member
I really think, that you might need to explore and come to terms with being gay (or not being gay) before even considering dating a guy, especially on Grindr.
Just my two cents.
Just my two cents.
Umm horny me would say yes and I don't even need a date, but after that subsides I would say hell no. But at the same time the idea of going on a date with a guy just is weird and I don't like accepting that...but I guess I can't do much about my feelings.
When he said sure he also said he couldn't go for a drink b/c he's not old enough, which is true. he's 20 according the profile and I forgot about that so I guess we could go get coffee or something..I never thought of that. He also likes sports (like me) so I wouldn't mind getting together for a game, but that's scary inviting a stranger to my place.
When he said sure he also said he couldn't go for a drink b/c he's not old enough, which is true. he's 20 according the profile and I forgot about that so I guess we could go get coffee or something..I never thought of that. He also likes sports (like me) so I wouldn't mind getting together for a game, but that's scary inviting a stranger to my place.
SpaceBridge
Member
xcrunner529 said:
Honestly, if youre wanting to fuck around with a guy to see if your gay I can promise you that it will be messy (no pun intended) and may even be a negative experience. Why not slow it donw first and see if you can connect on another level with a guy which you havent with a girl. I can promise you that your first sexual experience with another dude will be alot better if there's something there other than raw attraction especially for a first time.
xcrunner529 said:
Too late. Once you posted in this thread Google cache will get around to it eventually, not sure how long it takes but you're "out" to the world now under your name. If you really want a name change, PM bishoptl or Evilore ASAP and hope their PM box isn't full and they're willing to name change you.
As for grindr, they're mostly looking for "booty calls"/sex. If that's not what you're wanting then get off grindr. You're better off finding a gay group or something like that on campus than you finding someone that isn't looking for sex outright (unless they SPECIFICALLY SPECIFY THAT) on grindr/craigslist/et. al.
SpaceBridge
Member
TheSeks said:
^^^ This.
Also, unless your hooking up with another first timer, there are some guys out there who might be turned on by "fresh chicken", but it will not be a mutually positive experience.
xcrunner529 said:
Honey, then don't invite him to your place. See how simple that was?
You're overthinking things.
First, you say you're lonely. Why? Do you not have friends on campus? Are your friends not the homosexual-friendly type? I mean you're being vague and having this drama without explaining WHY certain things are what they are. WHY do you feel lonely. Just because you haven't had a girlfriend since highschool? Big deal. College should be more about studies FIRST and social second. If you have friends on campus you aren't neglecting the second.
Maybe you feel lonely because you're not in a relationship like NeoJubei (in before I summon him and his depression *sigh*), in which case you're going about this on the wrong foot. You need to be more accepting about your current situation than being anxious about it.
Edit: And thinking about this for specific purposes I think having a subreddit for GAyF for things like this would be better than people publicly outing themselves like you're doing and having to get name changes because they aren't comfortable detailing their lives. Reddit makes having throwaway accounts for the purpose you're wanting a name change for easier.
SpaceBridge
Member
TheSeks said:
^^^This again
That being said though, in his defense, coming out or coming to terms with being gay was an extremely anxious period in my life. But, the post-coming out period was an amazing time. I met some amazing new friends, dated and
fucked
Its like the dark ages before the renaissance.
Again though, I cannot stress enough that pursuing this via a place like Grindr is wrong. You might as well get drunk, go to a bath house, and leave your room door wide open with your junk hanging out.
xcrunner529 said:
It's a public outing in the sense that you're posting before a name change. Once you post here Google caches the thread periodically to where your name will show up anyway even if you name change it because of the cache. Hence "out," anyway...
Then they aren't your friends in the first place if they can't accept you as you are. Cliche, but true. But I know the feeling as does many other people, so you need to look out for yourself first and foremost.
You say you don't have friends on campus. Why? Did you not attempt to do this? Are there no clubs that are interesting to you? It doesn't have to be gay specific, but you're probably lonely and pacing back and forth because you don't have a group to talk to more so than being gay.
Besides that, you say you're interested in guys but aren't sure. I think this is more the question for this thread and the lonely-ness currently that can be solved easily more so than gay-friendly friend bit right now.
Now, sit down on uncle Sek's lap near the fireplace and take a good long swig of this beer and explain your situation FULLY. Because you're vague and it doesn't really help us give you advice. Note: This doesn't mean HURR DURR I LIVE AT <place> AND <state>, but we need a fuller picture of the situation.
xcrunner529 said:
First of all, cut back on the self-deprecation. Your post reeks of it and it's not attractive. At all. Nor can it possibly help you feel good about yourself.
There, with that out of the way...
I agree 9,999% with SpaceBridge in that you probably shouldn't be prioritizing dating right now. That's like trying to run before you've learned how to crawl.
You need to take time to discover who you are as a homosexual. Get to know other gay people, go to some gay events (if you're on a college campus this should be easy...unless you're at Jesus U or something). If you're afraid to be seen around gay events I know most gay organizations have private office hours and a number you can call - almost always confidential. But I do suggest you take the plunge mingle with some gays.
Also, consider the possibility that you'll most likely have to come out in some way, at some point. This is especially the case if you plan on dating. Think about how you'd do it and prepare yourself for possible outcomes. Doing this will make it easier.
But, since you've already got a date scheduled...don't expect too much. It's Grindr. I disagree about it being an low act of desperation, but still...take it for what it is.
SpaceBridge
Member
royalan said:
I laughed too hard at this.
TheSeks said:
Eh I get that but at the same time I can understand it being really awkward for them. Especially b/c what they teased me about for years could actually be true. And it's a small rural town. The usual rules apply there.
Another one of my good good friends is hardcore christian so I think you can figure out how that would go over w/them. When all these people (including parents) believe it's a choice it's hard to want to even bother.
I got stuck with lame roommates who weren't interested in hanging out with me and I've never been good at making friends. The reason I have friends back home is pretty much because a) my school was small and b) I played a sport and we were around each other all the time and it was easy.
Here I don't play a sport (we're a big campus and I am nowhere near good enough to be on a team here), had little time for groups usually b/c of school and then I had to work after classes usually and it just never came about. If I at least had cool roommates who took me to parties with them perhaps I could have met people there, but that didn't happen. I'm not really trying to blame them but it didn't help. And to be honest I'm always afraid of doing those things b/c walking in the first time is scary.
So I basically just consumed myself with work or school and/or I'd go home on weekends and hang with my old friends. I actually am pretty good with living by myself/alone, it's just other times I really want friends here and be able to go to parties and stuff. I really like doing that at home.
As for why I bothered posting in here? Well it'd be nice to find people on campus who are sort of like me or at least understand the situation and also...I can only masturbate so many times before I really need something more. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but it gets old...
I'm honestly not trying to be like that. I am not overreacting when I talk about my social anxiety. I really do have it. Going into simple places like restaurants to get food scares me. I feel like everyone is watching me. It's what stops me from being more involved here too. I didn't think I was being that hard on myself, but maybe it comes off that way. I don't feel like my life completely sucks or it's the worst life in the world or anything I just want something much much better and I feel my personality has hindered me in lots of ways.royalan said:
SpaceBridge
Member
xcrunner529 said:
Uh, you might want to see someone about that. Anxiety like that isnt healthy.
xcrunner529 said:
And so what if they've teased you? Fuck them. Either they accept you or they don't about it.
I can understand your hesitation and I'm not saying you need to come out, but you should have people you can trust with this and confide in.
And...? You can play/practice with that group or a group of casual people, surely. There is a local futbol/football/soccer field here for the college kids on campus that is generally being used from sunup to sundown (and shortly beyond that), big deal. Go there and ask if you can join in. Your social anxiety would be the issue, but once you force yourself out of the house and get into the group you'd start to ease up and make friends a little.
No offense, but you should probably talk to a councilor about your anxiety and get some therapy about it. Optionally: Just do it(TM Nike), go into Burger King and order up. You may mumble and stumble, but do this around 10PM at night and then go to another fast food place the next day. Eventually, you'll become comfortable enough ordering food without feeling paranoid.
"Work, school, bla bla bla... fart"
You, sir, are making excuses. Plain and simple.
And that's fine.
It IS really hard doing these things the first time. I'll never forget how sweaty my palms were when I walked into a Rainbow Alliance meeting for the first time my freshman year. And I can look back at that time now and LMAO because it in reality it was just a meeting in an empty conference room of the student union building, with a bunch of other gays (and straight allies) who would only go on to impact my life in positive ways. Not Armageddon.
I also think back on that time and get incredibly frustrated, because the president of Rainbow chose that particular meeting to wear sweat pants with no underwear. AND it was a well-known fact that he was hung like a horse, because he had NO problem drunkenly whipping it out at parties...GOD I REGRET BEING TOO MUCH OF A N00B AT THE TIME TO TRY TO GET A PIECE OF THAT!
But I digress. Back to you.
Making excuses is fine, as long as you realize that that's what you're doing, and use that realization to fuel your resolve to prove yourself wrong. Find out what gay organizations your campus has and when they meet, and go to one of their meetings. It's as simple as that. It's your life: make it a priority to do this. That first time will be nerve-wrecking, but you just have to suck it up and go for it. This is the easiest way to get the kind of social life that you say you want.
SpaceBridge
Member
royalan said:
I hate size queens, but I love their boyfriends.
Ive used that joke before
royalan said:
sweatpants have to be one of the hottest pieces of clothing...
I feel like that gets rid of any anonymity I have here. Maybe I could say fuck that, but I do work here as well (in a full time capacity).
Also, and this is totally my ignorance, but I can't help but feel that most people that are part of those are probably the fem type. I know I shouldn't be picky but I really don't get along with that kind of personality well. Like if I seriously had a type it'd be the straight jock. The worst type I know.
SpaceBridge
Member
xcrunner529 said:
Some of my closest friends were the loud mouthed, flamy queens that people seem to have stereotypes about. But they also were some of the most genuine and friendly people I met. They made me realize that I had to honor the generation that came before me, to accept that which I was. Not all gays are fems, and if youre not attracted to them thats fine, but there are lot of diverse men in the gay community. Trust me on this from personal experience. Im not keen on fem guys either, and Ive never had a hard time finding "bros" to date. That being said, you will never meet quality guys by either shutting yourself at home afraid to come out, or by going via the online method.
On a side note: The butchiest, muscly jock-type dudes Ive had the pleasure of knowing were also the biggest
bottoms
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Like I said to that other guy a couple pages back, own who you are or don't even bother. You're going to be miserable until you get past this stage of wanting to be anonymous and hiding it from everyone. Newsflash: you're at college in 2011. Virtually no one gives a shit if you're gay or bi or trans or love Neil Diamond karaoke.
I'm from a very rural town. My family is Christian. I have Christian friends. I came out, no one gave me any guff about it. Just sayin'.
I'm from a very rural town. My family is Christian. I have Christian friends. I came out, no one gave me any guff about it. Just sayin'.
Cosmic Bus said:
Were they not fundies? B/c that place almost sounds mythical compared to here heh.
Anyway you all are harsh lol. I will try looking into a group or two. I really should have done this so much earlier since I'm probably graduating this year, but I denied forever or just said I'd be content with being single forever and just never acting on the urge. I just don't see that being possible for me though.
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that I have more of a love/hate relationship with than an 8+ inch penis.
(btw, PLEASE warn me if this is getting too risque for the Google censors. I try to be good, but I never can tell what is appropriate and what isn't...based on some of the things I see Straight-GAF talk about...)
I can't speak for every university, but based on the university I went to (east coast, about 20,000 students so fairly big), I'm not going to lie to you: yes, most of the active members of gay organizations tend to be kinda femmy (or butch lesbians) and/or loud about their sexuality. My theory is because they never had much of a closet to hide in, so gay alliance meetings tend to be inevitable and more overtly a social thing for them...and not the big deal that it is for you.
HOWEVER, masculine guys DO come to these groups and events (although some did shy away and wrote bitchy letters to the student newspaper about how we didn't represent them). Many even got involved.
All this college talk brings back memories.
In my case, it was also hard making friends too .
1st year was all jokes, "lol look at that guy"; been thrown stones and Coca Cola bottles; while walking around campus. Or the "Game Boy story" I posted previously. The teacher(s) asking students to a few students to create groups; to have everyone been chosen to be part of a group but me. Or other idiotic things; like I've had a "strong voice" since..middle school; so reading aloud always got people to laugh because of that..even in college. Probably by a combination of that and some fear; my voice is a little different now and I also tend to gag here and there, and overall talk in a lower volume. :/
Tried approaching others, just to get weird looks and jokes. So I just passed time either sleeping, or "hiding" in empty rooms/library.
2nd to 4th year were the same, except on a different campus. I actually didn't made any friends until my last year (5th year); and that was mostly because I got a job close at the mall, and other/fellow students got a job there too; so we got to know each other better...and i twas cool.
Though, they ended saying something that I've been told before: "You look and are cooler than you appear". Every time I'm like .."What?". I've been told that I "look douchey". .."jock-like". Since I've always liked to dress well and be serious, even when everyone knows I have a good sense of humor; I apparently look the opposite. Kinda surprises me; but what am I supposed to do? I've tried to dress differently...but apparently still give the "wrong impressions". XD
Oh well, sorry for ranting again. Kinda nice day today, got an 8GB SD Card for my 3DS; guess that will be more than cool for the rest of its doomed life. And made my own 3DS cover/slip cover for a 3DS game. Was for a friend, but he decided to cancel his plans, so used it and ..it looks official and everything. XD
Back to you sruckus.
Oh, and just relax. Just try to stay focus and if you decide to have "fun" with another guy for the sake of just that, experimentation or breaking the ice; just be safe and take care.
..and don't force things. I kinda "forced" myself (well, more like convinced myself that he was a nice guy and someone nice to be with) since I was 23 and never even kissed by someone; so I went with a 40 years old guy, just because he was nice to me. Already posted with some more details "how awesome" was that first kiss...and everything.
In my case, it was also hard making friends too .
1st year was all jokes, "lol look at that guy"; been thrown stones and Coca Cola bottles; while walking around campus. Or the "Game Boy story" I posted previously. The teacher(s) asking students to a few students to create groups; to have everyone been chosen to be part of a group but me. Or other idiotic things; like I've had a "strong voice" since..middle school; so reading aloud always got people to laugh because of that..even in college. Probably by a combination of that and some fear; my voice is a little different now and I also tend to gag here and there, and overall talk in a lower volume. :/
Tried approaching others, just to get weird looks and jokes. So I just passed time either sleeping, or "hiding" in empty rooms/library.
2nd to 4th year were the same, except on a different campus. I actually didn't made any friends until my last year (5th year); and that was mostly because I got a job close at the mall, and other/fellow students got a job there too; so we got to know each other better...and i twas cool.
Though, they ended saying something that I've been told before: "You look and are cooler than you appear". Every time I'm like .."What?". I've been told that I "look douchey". .."jock-like". Since I've always liked to dress well and be serious, even when everyone knows I have a good sense of humor; I apparently look the opposite. Kinda surprises me; but what am I supposed to do? I've tried to dress differently...but apparently still give the "wrong impressions". XD
Oh well, sorry for ranting again. Kinda nice day today, got an 8GB SD Card for my 3DS; guess that will be more than cool for the rest of its doomed life. And made my own 3DS cover/slip cover for a 3DS game. Was for a friend, but he decided to cancel his plans, so used it and ..it looks official and everything. XD
Back to you sruckus.
Oh, and just relax. Just try to stay focus and if you decide to have "fun" with another guy for the sake of just that, experimentation or breaking the ice; just be safe and take care.
..and don't force things. I kinda "forced" myself (well, more like convinced myself that he was a nice guy and someone nice to be with) since I was 23 and never even kissed by someone; so I went with a 40 years old guy, just because he was nice to me. Already posted with some more details "how awesome" was that first kiss...and everything. The Broken Ska Record
Member
I also need to start working out. D:DR2K said:
Man, Dragonlife is a whiney bitch that can't handle brain-y games that aren't SHOOTAN GAEMZ. Last time I try to get you to play a game with me after you whine about me abandoning you. >:|
Isaac is a better sport, jumps in without playing the tutorial and trounces me
Isaac is a better sport, jumps in without playing the tutorial and trounces me
because I gave him hints on what to do
xcrunner529 said:
First thing you need to know about Grindr..... or some gay guys on online hook up/relationship sites is that they are often flaky. With online, they have no idea about your personality, your body language, etc so everything depends on that photos that you have. As a result, they are peculiar about what they want in guys so if you only.....say tick 3 out of their 4 boxes, then they'd be hot/cold in their reaction to you. And then only, only if they have no other alternatives that they come back to you.
If this happens to you, do not take it personally. Just move on to other guys or if you want to, you can stick around hoping that the guy will change his mind but frankly, it's usually not worth it. I find that just like friendship, any relationship must be 2 ways street. If it's you who do all the initiating of conversation etc, then what's the point, right? You may as well talk to your DS-lite waifu. At least you get more responses there.
So, Grindr guys are not exactly the most dependable people you'd meet. They are mostly there to hook up regardless of what they say to you. Maybe after you hook up one or two will fall for you but it's rare that would happen. Don't worry though, you'll soon do your own hot/cold reactions to other guys as well. That's just the nature of the beast unfortunately. You're attracted to who you're attracted to and naturally you'll response better to persons that you're attracted to.
Electivirus
Member
Looking at the discussion from a couple of pages back, I realize that I need to work out too. My boyfriend's been trying to convince me to do so, but I'm soooo lazy. >_>
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Magnus said:
Why is it brutal?
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