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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

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_Isaac said:
Find yourself a microdick or maybe you guys can practice with fingers and a dildo before going in for full blown anal.
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I was going to suggest this, but I got to thinking that the pain and vomiting, etc. might be part of the essential experience of first time(s) anal. You wouldn't want to go through that shit alone.
 
Find a guy who will take it slow and take his time preparing your anus. First time is probably not gonna be your best but that doesn't mean it has to be bad either.

Being relaxed and/or super horny helps a lot. Finding the dick that fits too. One of my ex was pretty big but somehow it fit right in. An other was smaller but it hurt way more.

Also my first time I didn't feel pain or vomitted at all. It was just... bizarre. Wasn't used to it.
 
RatskyWatsky said:
I was going to suggest this, but I got to thinking that the pain and vomiting, etc. might be part of the essential experience of first time(s) anal. You wouldn't want to go through that shit alone.
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o_O

Umm... yeah. Just practice beforehand and try not to be tense. It won't relieve all the pain but I do not think vomiting should be a standard part of everyone's first time.
 
Gaf is full of bottoms...

tumblr_ljhm74TBps1qiejzio1_250.gif



and yeah the vomiting was probably due to the position and nervousness, try missionary first
 
My BF recently returned from Denver, visiting some family. Went over to his house for the weekend after not seeing each other for a month. So being a snoop I went through his internet history, and found he was looking at adam4adam and craigslist while over in Denver. We've had this discussion over and over, how I don't like him going to cruising/dating sites. He says he's not doing "anything" just looking at people, because he's naturally a people watcher. Finally told him to stop, so he deleted and disabled the profiles. What do?
 
Acerac said:
o_O

Umm... yeah. Just practice beforehand and try not to be tense. It won't relieve all the pain but I do not think vomiting should be a standard part of everyone's first time.
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Being gay sounds like hard work.
 
Man you guys are babies.
1. Use lube. If it hurts or feels dry. Use more lube. Your ass is not a vagina, it doesn't self lube. Still hurts? More lube.
2. use non-water based lube.
3. have the other person go slow, and keep it in there for a bit don't do anything there for like 10-15 seconds tops
4. relax
5. take it like a man

This has been your public GAF announcement.
 
Obsessed said:
How are you posting on GAF and playing TF2 at the same time.

And I consider it work since now I have to go out and buy cucumbers and lube.
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lol, I hope you are not being serious. You can get an infection like that.
 
Gvaz said:
2. use non-water based lube.
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What's wrong with water based lube? I've always heard that that's what you should always use, although I'm a noob when it comes to lube. :P

CHEEZMO™ said:
.

I can't even begin to think about relationships with guys until I move out :/
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Move out of where?

Marius_ said:
lol, I hope you are not being serious. You can get an infection like that.
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Yeah, you could get an infection if you start with something big like a cucumber. I recommend baby carrots.
 
Gvaz said:
Man you guys are babies.
1. Use lube. If it hurts or feels dry. Use more lube. Your ass is not a vagina, it doesn't self lube. Still hurts? More lube.
2. use non-water based lube.
3. have the other person go slow, and keep it in there for a bit don't do anything there for like 10-15 seconds tops
4. relax
5. take it like a man

This has been your public GAF announcement.
Click to expand...
I thought that non-water based lube destroys the latex of condoms.

Also, you guys are exaggerating much. Throwing up from the pain? Really?
 
Obsessed said:
How are you posting on GAF and playing TF2 at the same time.
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I leave TF2 idle when I stop playing but intend to return at some point in the night. Steam's time clocked for me on the game is more than double what I've actually played.
CHEEZMO™ said:
.

I can't even begin to think about relationships with guys until I move out :/
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I could have sworn I've seen you say that your folks are accepting of your... less typical interests in the past. They'd flip out if said interests suddenly were of the other gender?

Also, I totally thought you had mentioning liking women when referencing an old avatar in the past. Perhaps I was mistaken. This way makes a lot more sense all things considered.
 
Gvaz said:
Depends what you're doing, and who with.
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Agreed but since your advice is mainly aimed towards guys with no or little experience, I think it would be better not to leave out that important detail.
 
Acerac said:
I could have sworn I've seen you say that your folks are accepting of your... less typical interests in the past. They'd flip out if said interests suddenly were of the other gender?
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I doubt it.

You really think I'd tell them shit like that? lololol
I'd burn my laptop before I even let them use it unsupervised.

As far as almost everyone I know IRL is concerned, I'm straight-up hetero vanilla.
Also, I totally thought you had mentioning liking women when referencing an old avatar in the past. Perhaps I was mistaken. This way makes a lot more sense all things considered.
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What?
 
CHEEZMO™ said:
I doubt it.

You really think I'd tell them shit like that? lololol
I'd burn my laptop before I even let them use it unsupervised.

As far as almost everyone I know IRL is concerned, I'm straight-up hetero vanilla.

What?
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*Shrug* Perhaps I was mistaken. I've read so many posts on these board over the years I suppose I've confused one or two. :D
 
Acerac said:
*Shrug* Perhaps I was mistaken. I've read so many posts on these board over the years I suppose I've confused one or two. :D
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I think I'm having the same confusion. Avatar with a lady splattered in fake blood, right?
 
Botolf said:
I think I'm having the same confusion. Avatar with a lady splattered in fake blood, right?
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That's the one. I could have sworn I had read something from a poster with that avatar about having fun with that sort of thing and having folks that had accepted that particular interest... but it was ages ago. Completely possible I am remembering incorrectly.
 
_Isaac said:
Find yourself a microdick or maybe you guys can practice with fingers and a dildo before going in for full blown anal.
Click to expand...

Top, bottom, versatile, theoretical, whatever: everybody should rock a dildo now and then. They are awesome.
 
FoneBone said:
If I sound like a dick, I apologize, but this reads a little weird; you've been talking for over two years; you moved to Seattle partially because of him (though I'm not sure if you mean that in the sense that you moved to be geographically closer), you "love him more than anything in the world," and you've never met in person before?

And if you know you want more than he can give you, this doesn't sound very healthy for you, ultimately. :-/
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Okay, so returning briefly to this. Having thought more about it during the day, I don't feel as compelled to "defend" myself (if it could be defined as such) since no one is exactly pointing out things I haven't considered a thousand times already, but I am a tad bothered by the insinuation that two people not in physical contact cannot come to legitimately love each other over a period of time. That line of thinking would essentially invalidate the emotions which grow between many people involved in distance friendships or relationships, whether they're able to one day transition to a physical meeting or not. Love doesn't necessarily happen when you kiss or dance with or fuck or shop for pillows together, and it's not always about a specific and tangible 'thing.' To me, loving someone (and not just "loving" the way you do a family member or a pet) is about commitment and honesty and patience and giving yourself over to the unknowns in life and being vulnerable and allowing yourself to care more for another's happiness than your own and feeling complete.

As for my emotional/mental health in this situation, well, I guess that's the kicker because I have inarguebly been in a much better place over the past couple of years thanks to him. Long term? Yes, it's going to sting like a son of a bitch when he inevitably starts dating someone local but I'll deal with that in my own ways and as best I can. It won't be the end of the world (I've resolved not to allow myself to go down that deeply depressed path again) because our friendship will still exist. If you have any knowledge of my past posts in here and the other life-in-general threads on GAF over the years, it'll be apparent that I'm not exactly a regular kind of person in terms of dating, sex, expectations, and whatnot. If I finally get the chance to have something more than this, then that would be wonderful; if not, then I'll continue on as a solitary man like I always have been. That's life. I'm okay with it.
 
Cosmic Bus said:
Okay, so returning briefly to this. Having thought more about it during the day, I don't feel as compelled to "defend" myself (if it could be defined as such) since no one is exactly pointing out things I haven't considered a thousand times already, but I am a tad bothered by the insinuation that two people not in physical contact cannot come to legitimately love each other over a period of time. That line of thinking would essentially invalidate the emotions which grow between many people involved in distance friendships or relationships, whether they're able to one day transition to a physical meeting or not. Love doesn't necessarily happen when you kiss or dance with or fuck or shop for pillows together, and it's not always about a specific and tangible 'thing.' To me, loving someone (and not just "loving" the way you do a family member or a pet) is about commitment and honesty and patience and giving yourself over to the unknowns in life and being vulnerable and allowing yourself to care more for another's happiness than your own and feeling complete.
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It's less the lack of physical contact in itself, and more the apparent intensity of your emotions, combined with the fact that (from what you're saying) he doesn't reciprocate the same feelings.

And, as I'm sure you're well aware, it is wholly possible for two people to communicate very well electronically, but not to have the same chemistry in person.

As for my emotional/mental health in this situation, well, I guess that's the kicker because I have inarguebly been in a much better place over the past couple of years thanks to him. Long term? Yes, it's going to sting like a son of a bitch when he inevitably starts dating someone local but I'll deal with that in my own ways and as best I can. It won't be the end of the world (I've resolved not to allow myself to go down that deeply depressed path again) because our friendship will still exist. If you have any knowledge of my past posts in here and the other life-in-general threads on GAF over the years, it'll be apparent that I'm not exactly a regular kind of person in terms of dating, sex, expectations, and whatnot. If I finally get the chance to have something more than this, then that would be wonderful; if not, then I'll continue on as a solitary man like I always have been. That's life. I'm okay with it.
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That's the thing! Look, I remember your posts going back to the Hotarubi days. But you're still insisting most of the time that you're going to be alone forever - and I remember you insisting you'd never move out of your town, or could never come out to your family (I think you said something to the effect that it would "kill" your mother.)

So I know darn well how much you've improved things - so when I read something like what you posted, that sounded like you were going to hold off on all potential romantic fulfillment of your own in hopes that you'd eventually get the guy in question, it struck me as a little disheartening on some level. But reading that post, it seems you have a lot clearer perspective than I'd gathered, so I hope that it works out as positively as possible.

Ha, that's enough of the armchair-psychologist thing for one night.
 
FoneBone said:
It's less the lack of physical contact in itself, and more the apparent intensity of your emotions, combined with the fact that (from what you're saying) he doesn't reciprocate the same feelings.
Click to expand...

Mm, yes, I have been recounting this from my own perspective, but he's made it quite clear over the months that his feelings towards me are very similar, albeit more grounded than mine. While he is fairly young, this guy is more mature, sensible and level-headed than almost any adults I've come to know. Regardless of where this goes, I will always have a tremendous amount of respect for him and am grateful for the views and types of experiences he's helped me open up to.

I know darn well how much you've improved things - so when I read something like what you posted, that sounded like you were going to hold off on all potential romantic fulfillment of your own in hopes that you'd eventually get the guy in question, it struck me as a little disheartening on some level. But reading that post, it seems you have a lot clearer perspective than I'd gathered, so I hope that it works out as positively as possible.
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I can certainly admit this is the part that's always most difficult to express to people. It isn't so much that I'm intentionally depriving myself of other fulfillment, but that my attractions/desires/interests are very, very specific and narrow, and I can humbly admit that I'm not really open to "settling" for anything but exactly what I'm after. I never set out looking for anyone... we happened to find each other at a time when it was most important and it evolved into this. In spite of whatever worries may come along with it all, the positives far outweigh the negatives, and I'm comfortable knowing that nothing thus far has been forced into happening.
 
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