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[xelios]

You need to get zen. Stop wanting one so bad and it will happen. The times when people are their most attractive is when they are unavailable seeming, either because they are in a relationship, or they seem to not be desperate for one. You needy to be happy being with you before anyone else will be happy being with you.

True, desperation is not very attractive.

@Neo My advice is that in the beginning of your first (?) relationship you'd smother the other person and scare them off if your behavior here is anything to go by. I don't mean that in a cruel way but a helpful one; the woe is me thing gets old really fast and I notice no matter what topic the thread is on you have a way of being a Debbie Downer and making it about yourself. People tend to reassure someone they're beautiful/not fat/whatever about once in an hour before resenting them even if they like them, especially if said person doesn't accept the compliment and keeps fishing for more. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you have a really bad habit that I feel needs to be pointed out if you want to improve.

 

[TheSeks]

You need to get zen. Stop wanting one so bad and it will happen. The times when people are their most attractive is when they are unavailable seeming, either because they are in a relationship, or they seem to not be desperate for one. You needy to be happy being with you before anyone else will be happy being with you.

That's what I've been saying in a longer and more angry-boot-camp-drill-sgt. way. Until he accepts himself, he won't get anywhere. I think everyone in this thread needs to post this and drill it into his head, because I've attempted it over the months to where I'm exasperated and tired of it.

Anyway: Like I told the other dude. Cancel the party or tell the one person that came out and likes you he can't stay over. You don't need to state why, but say you have plans and won't be at the house or something similar. Let him down easy, so long as he doesn't question it you'll be fine.

 

[SpaceBridge]

This is going to be a very very interesting night my friends. hahaha i'm so fucked

You're hoping!

 

[Erebus]

This is going to be a very very interesting night my friends. hahaha i'm so fucked

Threesome it is then!

 

[fernoca]

hahaha i'm so fucked

If you play your cards right, hell yeah!! ;D

Nah, but just keep your cool and if your interest is your coworker, then focus on him. Spend too much time your other friend(s) and any plan he might have; might get thrown out of the window.

If you're the host; give extra attention to him, more drinks (and first), food, etc.

 

[neojubei]

Because, from what you've told me, you take the rejections really hard and that make you think you are ugly (which many people here have told you isn't true). This then depresses you.

Take it from a depressed person themselves, you need to stop worrying about a relationship, focus on yourself and get better first. Once you got that done, with time a relationship will happen. It just won't *snap* like that. Everyone of those people that rejects you? They won't get to see how awesome you are.

Get it?



This isn't going to be a "doctor help" thing until you start to accept and attempt to change your mindview. Right now, to me, it seems like you think being in a relationship will make you happy and successful and beautiful. Let me bring you to reality: Relationships suck, a vast majority of them will fail. Why do you think divorce is high? Because people get married while young and don't think things through and stay with a person a while to see if they can weather the storm. Then, when they find out they can't, they bail.

Being in a relationship isn't going to magically make you happy. Sure, it's a nice thing, but it isn't the end-all be-all.

Make yourself happy, and then you can attempt to make someone else happy.



Been there, done that with the exception of the later point. It won't help if you keep your mind on it, hence, you need to force yourself to think different. Instead of worrying about that cute guy, ignore him and go out to eat, go out to movies, go to the gym, go anywhere and don't ask people out for a bit. Once you get comfortable with being alone and feeling good. Then you can come back and attempt a relationship.

I'm not awesome or anything. I'm fat and ugly.

You need to get zen. Stop wanting one so bad and it will happen. The times when people are their most attractive is when they are unavailable seeming, either because they are in a relationship, or they seem to not be desperate for one. You needy to be happy being with you before anyone else will be happy being with you.

Cannot help it. Sometimes I see a cute guy want to ask him out but beat myself up inside knowing I will be rejected.

 

[SpaceBridge]

Threesome it is then!

Oh, hey...DarkUSS is here. How you doin'? Pull up a seat next to me..

 

[Phonomezer]

Don't fuck friends.

 

[neojubei]

True, desperation is not very attractive.

@Neo My advice is that in the beginning of your first (?) relationship you'd smother the other person and scare them off if your behavior here is anything to go by. I don't mean that in a cruel way but a helpful one; the woe is me thing gets old really fast and I notice no matter what topic the thread is on you have a way of being a Debbie Downer and making it about yourself. People tend to reassure someone they're beautiful/not fat/whatever about once in an hour before resenting them even if they like them, especially if said person doesn't accept the compliment and keeps fishing for more. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you have a really bad habit that I feel needs to be pointed out if you want to improve.

Yeah i know; been hoping someone blows my head off or something so i dont have to bother anything or even myself.


Well everyone seems have good luck with being gay except me.

 

[TheSeks]

I'm not awesome or anything. I'm fat and ugly.

Except you aren't, since everyone here has told you you aren't ugly.

Well everyone seems have good luck with being gay except me.

Except, I don't have sex everynight like nearly everyone in this thread and have been single for five years now. *gasp* I don't get asked out and get rejected as often as you. *gasp* You know what? I don't give a fuck *gasp!*

Maybe you should start to do that?


But you know what, I'm tired of it. All I'm going to ask of you to do is stop posting here until you can stop feeling sorry for yourself because you get rejected and think your ugly despite the fact you aren't. Until you change your attitude you're not going to be getting anyone. End of discussion.

 

[xelios]

Yeah i know; been hoping someone blows my head off or something so i dont have to bother anything or even myself.


Well everyone seems have good luck with being gay except me.

You keep doing it man. Keep hoping someone blows your head off? Really? You know people can't ignore a statement like that. You're about to the point of what psychiatrists call holding people hostage now.

 

[Erebus]

Oh, hey...DarkUSS is here. How you doin'? Pull up a seat next to me..

Hi sexy spacebridge... Seat huh? How about you lie in bed next to me because it's 5:15am here.

 

[Phonomezer]

.

You need to talk to someone about this IRL.

 

[ZephyrFate]

Oh, hey...DarkUSS is here. How you doin'? Pull up a seat next to me..

He should... unzip his pants...

 

[dragonlife]

Yeah i know; been hoping someone blows my head off or something so i dont have to bother anything or even myself.


Well everyone seems have good luck with being gay except me.

Get over yourself. You're fine. The only problem is your insanely low self-esteem. But you think you're the only one with misfortune? Don't make me laugh.

 

[SpaceBridge]

Hi sexy spacebridge... Seat huh? How about you lie in bed next to me because it's 5:15am here.

5:15am? Cant sleep huh? I got a cure for that.

 

[xelios]

5:15am? Cant sleep huh? I got a cure for that.

Date rape drugs?

 

[Escape Goat]

5:15am? Cant sleep huh? I got a cure for that.

Bob Ross book on tape?

 

[fernoca]

Damn, Nickie's blog so awesome. Hope he accepts my request over Facebook, need to ask him a few tips. XD

As for neojubei, well in my case I'm like that and probably even worse on earlier years so can't say much.

At another forum (gaymer.org); they created the "fernoca syndrome" because of me; when talking about guys that said the usual "I'm ugly, alone, nobody loves me". Hey, I still do..I just accepted it and moved on. I'd love to be in a relationship. I did my part, talked around, asked around. I also waited, etc. etc. Nothing hapenned, so well..maybe not everyone's meant to end in relationships. As I've heard, some of those that are not in one long for it, and some of thsoe that are; wish they weren't.

So, whatever! I want Skyward Sword now!!!! XD

 

[Phonomezer]

5:15am? Cant sleep huh? I got a cure for that.

A warm cup of tea and a reading from the book of Psalms.

Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.

Enough to put anyone to sleep.

 

[xelios]

I did my part, talked around, asked around. I also waited, etc. etc. Nothing hapenned, so well..maybe not everyone's meant to end in relationships.

You're only 28; I'd say it's way too early to come to that conclusion.

 

[Erebus]

5:15am? Cant sleep huh? I got a cure for that.

What do you have in mind? Does it work online?

Spoiler

I mean the game you will suggest we play on the PS3 of course.

 

[SpaceBridge]

Damn, Nickie's blog so awesome. Hope he accepts my request over Facebook, need to ask him a few tips. XD

As for neojubei, well in my case I'm like that and probably even worse on earlier years so can't say much.

At another forum (gaymer.org); they created the "fernoca syndrome" because of me; when talking about guys that said the usual "I'm ugly, alone, nobody loves me". Hey, I still do..I just accepted it and moved on. I'd love to be in a relationship. I did my part, talked around, asked around. I also waited, etc. etc. Nothing hapenned, so well..maybe not everyone's meant to end in relationships. As I've heard, some of those that are not in one long for it, and some of thsoe that are; wish they weren't.

So, whatever! I want Skyward Sword now!!!! XD

Fernoca.. you're an awesome guy, with a great attitude, and I wish I could beat up the people who made fun of you when you were younger, cuz they did a number on you. You know why? Cuz Ive seen your pics, and you aren't ugly. I think you need to move though, to a big city with lots of homos to keep you company. Wherever you are, youre not meant to be.

 

[Phonomezer]

they created the "fernoca syndrome" because of me

LOL

 

[fernoca]

You're only 28; I'd say it's way too early to come to that conclusion.

Nah, is no biggie. In some ways better as I can focus more on other things. Maybe it will be one of those "by the time it comes I won't notice and it'll take me by surprise".

Fernoca.. you're an awesome guy, with a great attitude, and I wish I could beat up the people who made fun of you when you were younger, cuz they did a number on you. You know why? Cuz Ive seen your pics, and you aren't ugly. I think you need to move though, to a big city with lots of homos to keep you company. Wherever you are, youre not meant to be.

That's something I've considered and planned to. Even around friends I sometimes feel out of place as I'm not supposed to be here. But; monetary problems happened. Trusted a "friend" I wasn't supposed to; still paying over $10k because of that. Now coupled with been unemployed; plans were delayed...again. XD

 

[Phonomezer]

Where are you from?

 

[Alcoori]

Oh please neo. I just posted a story about how I got rejected.

As for ciD_Vain, please please please keep us updated. I'm home hungover and I need some drama.
Also, just tell your friend you're not into him. I'm sure that eventually the situation will be less awkward. No pity fuck though!

 

[fernoca]

Where are you from?

Rich Port, United States of America.

Spoiler

Puerto Rico

 

[HappyPuppy]

-

 

[ciD_Vain]

I walked right into that "i'm fucked" comment didn't I? Is it bad that i'm actually kind of eager to see the drama unfold? i don't want my friend to get hurt, but i can't pretend to like him, not even for a split-second, because i have zero attraction to him. Anyhow, it's t-minus 2 hours til this shit goes down. i need a proper .gif for this situation. i feel a little woozy now LOL

Oh please neo. I just posted a story about how I got rejected.

As for ciD_Vain, please please please keep us updated. I'm home hungover and I need some drama.
Also, just tell your friend you're not into him. I'm sure that eventually the situation will be less awkward. No pity fuck though!

Will definitely keep you all updated. Would it be weird if i jumped on GAF during the party to update real quick? Maybe i'll updated during bathroom breaks or something lol.

 

[SpaceBridge]

I walked right into that "i'm fucked" comment didn't I? Is it bad that i'm actually kind of eager to see the drama unfold? i don't want my friend to get hurt, but i can't pretend to like him, not even for a split-second, because i have zero attraction to him. Anyhow, it's t-minus 2 hours til this shit goes down. i need a proper .gif for this situation. i feel a little woozy now LOL

Will definitely keep you all updated. Would it be weird if i jumped on GAF during the party to update real quick? Maybe i'll updated during bathroom breaks or something lol.

You got an iphone? Blackberry? We need updates, can you tweet us the developments?

 

[fernoca]

Yep. I'll be here 5 more hours (11PM here); so I wouldn't mind the updates.

So, in my case I'll be:

With a christmas tree and everything.

Spoiler

??

 

[ciD_Vain]

HA that's perfect. DroidX user over here. I could tweet, but my best friend gets my tweets. Unless i make a new account for this Haha.

Oh btw...i think i failed to mention my best friend also works with us... this shit sucks ass!

 

[Phonomezer]

Rich Port, United States of America.

Spoiler

Puerto Rico

Niiiice

Oh and realtime drama *subscribes*

 

[Escape Goat]

My favorite is Spanish Techno (Space's avatars) but these ones are my other favorites.

[IG]http://i.imgur.com/js4RS.jpg[/IMG]

[MG]http://i.imgur.com/OlGMN.jpg[/IMG]

The last one combines facial hair and glasses, I'm simple to please. I agree with Isaac that this artist can draw faces really well.

Now turn those guys into real men and I'll die a happy man.

 

[SpaceBridge]

OMG, I just realized this thread is gonna turn into the Nintendo E3 press conference this year.

 

[dragonlife]

 

[SpaceBridge]

What do you have in mind? Does it work online?

Spoiler

I mean the game you will suggest we play on the PS3 of course.

Did you send me a PSN friend request, Dark?

 

[Phonomezer]

Now turn those guys into real men and I'll die a happy man.

I know, it's just one big fucking tease.

 

[fernoca]

HA that's perfect. DroidX user over here. I could tweet, but my best friend gets my tweets. Unless i make a new account for this Haha.

Oh btw...i think i failed to mention my best friend also works with us... this shit sucks ass!

Oh shit! Well, you said you've told your friend about how you feel so reminding him wouldn't be a problem...I guess.

Is like a "drama" I was told that happened between people I know, last year. One was gay and out, the other was gay but in the closet (deep inside). So, with time; "out" met a guy and started a relationship; around the same time that "closet" decided to (finally) get out. Now "ex-closet" was pissed off at "out" , for not "waiting for him" and that that's what friends are supposed to do. :|

So, be clear and honest.

 

[ciD_Vain]

Oh shit! Well, you said you've told your friend about how you feel so reminding him wouldn't be a problem...I guess.

Is like a "drama" I was told that happened between people I know, last year. One was gay and out, the other was gay but in the closet (deep inside). So, with time; "out" met a guy and started a relationship; around the same time that "closet" decided to (finally) get out. Now "ex-closet" was pissed off at "out" , for not "waiting for him" and that that's what friends are supposed to do. :|

So, be clear and honest.

Yowza. That's a pretty similar situation. How is their relationship now? I don't intend to pity my friend. I mean I've been out for almost 2 years now and he decides to tell me today? I understand he may not have been ready back then and that is totally his choice, but i think he should understand what i'm going through. So far he's shown a somewhat annoying rejection to how I feel towards him. I guess whatever happens, happens!

 

[SpaceBridge]

Yowza. That's a pretty similar situation. How is their relationship now? I don't intend to pity my friend. I mean I've been out for almost 2 years now and he decides to tell me today? I understand he may not have been ready back then and that is totally his choice, but i think he should understand what i'm going through. So far he's shown a somewhat annoying rejection to how I feel towards him. I guess whatever happens, happens!

Imagine if your friend from work who you have a crush on actually falls for your newly out friend who's crushing on you?

 

[Kyon]

Guuuuuuuuuuuurl i need to know every single detail.

also i added SpaceBridge on PSN but he won't add me. jerk :<

 

[fernoca]

Yowza. That's a pretty similar situation. How is their relationship now? I don't intend to pity my friend. I mean I've been out for almost 2 years now and he decides to tell me today? I understand he may not have been ready back then and that is totally his choice, but i think he should understand what i'm going through. So far he's shown a somewhat annoying rejection to how I feel towards him. I guess whatever happens, happens!

Asked to a friend (since they're not direct friends, but more of friends of friends, etc.). He didn't gave too many details, but said that they do keep in touch and talk, but they don't seem to be as close as they were. "Out" is still in the relationship; "Ex"...he wasn't sure if he's going out with someone or not.

I guess, as long as you're clear and sure about your feelings, just need to keep focused. Right now, just have fun in the party and try to get at least the information you wanted to get from your "crush" (If he's gay or..something.. ). Later (tomorrow, or any day) talk to your best friend and; hear each other out.

Imagine if your friend from work who you have a crush on actually falls for your newly out friend who's crushing on you?

Hahaha..darn. Don't introduce them!!!! XD!

 

[ciD_Vain]

Imagine if your friend from work who you have a crush on actually falls for your newly out friend who's crushing on you?

OMG i had not thought of that O____O

Asked to a friend (since they're not direct friends, but more of friends of friends, etc.). He didn't gave too many details, but said that they do keep in touch and talk, but they don't seem to be as close as they were. "Out" is still in the relationship; "Ex"...he wasn't sure if he's going out with someone or not.

I guess, as long as your clear and sure about your feelings, just need to keep focused. Right now, just have fun in the party and try to get at least the information you wanted to get from your "crush" (If he's gay or..something.. ). Later (tomorrow, or any day) talk to your best friend and; hear each other out.



Hahaha..darn. Don't introduce them!!!! XD!

You're right! Gotta keep focused on fun and my mission to find out if my crush is gay. And it's too late because they already know each other since we all work together, but my crush doesn't know my friend is gay.

 

[i_am_ben]

Yowza. That's a pretty similar situation. How is their relationship now? I don't intend to pity my friend. I mean I've been out for almost 2 years now and he decides to tell me today? I understand he may not have been ready back then and that is totally his choice, but i think he should understand what i'm going through. So far he's shown a somewhat annoying rejection to how I feel towards him. I guess whatever happens, happens!

what are you going through?

 

[SpaceBridge]

Guuuuuuuuuuuurl i need to know every single detail.

also i added SpaceBridge on PSN but he won't add me. jerk :<

I havetn logged on yet. Damn NeoGAF keeping me from playing my games.

 

[fernoca]

You're right! Gotta keep focused on fun and my mission to find out if my crush is gay. And it's too late because they already know each other since we all work together, but my crush doesn't know my friend is gay.

Darn, forgot that bit. Well, your smile is quite seductive so that's your secret weapon.

Plus he's going to stay at your house/room later, so there's more time to talk "in private". Send your friend that is staying to the living room.

 

[ciD_Vain]

what are you going through?

That was bad wording on my part, i meant more 'he should understand how I feel'. I told him I don't have the same feelings for him and he rejects that thought. He seems to not understand how I am able to not like him the same way. He basically didn't want to accept how I felt so he left upset. I can't force myself to like him. I don't know a nicer way to say no to him except telling him how I feel.

 

[Replicant]

Hi neojubei,

Don't take some of the harsh words in this thread too personally. Having said that, I do agree that instead of focusing on finding a guy to be with, you should try focusing on improving yourself. Look at yourself and set yourself a goal. What do you think you can improve about yourself? If it's your physique you want to improve then go to the gym and be really good at it. I used to be really fat as a kid. Think Cartman from South Park. I hated that so I decided to lose weight. First by jogging on my own and now I've been going to the gym for almost 2 years and lose most of the weight/fat.

But you need to go to the gym not because you want to look good for others but because you want to look good for yourself. Set a goal and ask yourself how you want to look for yourself. Would you date your current self? If not, then improve yourself. Don't say "It doesn't matter, no one will like me". That's not for you to decide. That's for someone else to decide. In my case, I also once disliked how my teeth were out of line, so I decided to go and get myself braces. It was very painful but the result was worth it. My self-confidence increased and that in turn caused others to notice as well. That also means that my confidence grew because I know others noticed the change.

And even if after all of that you can't get anyone to notice you, at least you have changed. And there are other things to do in life that doesn't involve sex life or being with someone else. Focus on your career, make it as successful as it possibly can. Have fun with your friends and family. Learn to love solitude because I'm used to it for the past 20+ years of my life and sometimes I don't think it's that bad. How else do I get to play Mass Effect 2 for 120+ hours? A BF certainly wouldn't appreciate me spending that much time on a game.

To be honest, it wasn't until the last 2 or so years that I felt things started to turn around for me. I guess all of the hard work that I put in did get others to notice me. Just like you, I thought it wouldn't make much of a dent. At least, for example, I find that it's easier for me to make friends. They just go out of their way to come over and talk to me even if I don't do so. That wouldn't happen in the past when I was an overweight Cartman. Anyway, it's just my 2 cents. Focus on yourself and forget about other men. It doesn't mean you can't look at them once in a while but don't make them your focus.

ciD_Vain, what an interesting situation to be in.