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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

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Aw, sorry K man :(

I sometimes think of the guy I shared practically every minute of last July and August with as an ex-boyfriend, even if we didn't use the term 'dating' at all, nevermind 'relationship' or 'boyfriends'.


So, I'm seriously just plain bummed out about the dating thing, but strangely, not losing interest in or focus on it yet. I just need to, uh...reorganize my thoughts, my approach, my way of thinking about them. I think.

What's everyone's strategy? Do you even have one? I think I've gone naked without one most of the time, and just tried to be as natural as possible, enjoy the evening, and trusted to my instincts to decide whether the spark was there or not. I'm pretty sure I need to change something though, because here I am, like 30 first dates later (over a year or so), with nothing to show for it but one second date, and one 6-week fling that ended strangely and prematurely.
 
Alcoori said:
I wasn't freaked out or awkward, I just enjoyed the moment and was surprised to realize afterwards how natural it felt to me. This was also the time I thought to myself "Yep, I'm definitely gay".
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there was definitely a "if this is wrong I don't want to be right" moment.
 
Rez said:
there was definitely a "if this is wrong I don't want to be right" moment.
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To put it mildly! Haha.

I still get the sensation to this day that I'm doing something that's 'breaking the rules', that my body wasn't designed to do, that I'm violating someone else's laws, but man, that just contributes to the rush of it, every time.
 
Magnus said:
To put it mildly! Haha.

I still get the sensation to this day that I'm doing something that's 'breaking the rules', that my body wasn't designed to do, that I'm violating someone else's laws, but man, that just contributes to the rush of it, every time.
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Well, I'm almost the complete opposite. The first time I made out with a guy (being 14 or 15) the only thing that crossed my mind was "yup, gay"
 
beje said:
Well, I'm almost the complete opposite. The first time I made out with a guy (being 14 or 15) the only thing that crossed my mind was "yup, gay"
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Oh, I knew I was gay. I know I am. I just continue to enjoy the sensation that I'm enjoying something that feels.....prohibited. :p
 
i just noticed this thread!

guys what could i get to my bf for our 3rd anniversary?

we live in italy, he is still studying and is about to become the equivalent of one of your Architects.

he is really into gaming/electronics and stuff like that, and he also loves art.

for our first anniversary we got rings, for the second one we went to a concert.

usually for his birthday i get him a game console or a handheld and for valentine day a cell phone.

i'm ok about spending up to 300 euros (400 USD)

i'm just worried about overdoing it, i don't want him to feel guilty if a spend too much and i don't want him to spend a lot of his savings on an anniversary present
 
nickcv said:
i just noticed this thread!

guys what could i get to my bf for our 3rd anniversary?

we live in italy, he is still studying and is about to become the equivalent of one of your Architects.

he is really into gaming/electronics and stuff like that, and he also loves art.

for our first anniversary we got rings, for the second one we went to a concert.

usually for his birthday i get him a game console or a handheld and for valentine day a cell phone.

i'm ok about spending up to 300 euros (400 USD)

i'm just worried about overdoing it, i don't want him to feel guilty if a spend too much and i don't want him to spend a lot of his savings on an anniversary present
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i still can't comprehend how you get him a handheld/console for his birthdays and cell phones for valentines day. spoiled! you should talk to my bf and get him to buy me a psp with his tax return haha.

why don't you try and make him something sentimental? for my recent 2nd anniversary with my bf, i bought a shitload of construction paper and made a packet of coloured/decorated papers held together by ribbon. on each "page" was 3 things i love about him. it was relatively cheap to make and he really liked it! sentimental gifts can be fun to make.
 
btkadams said:
you should talk to my bf and get him to buy me a psp with his tax return haha.
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I got my bf a PSP for his birthday one year so he could play games with me. He was completely not interested. Luckily I also got him some watch he loved :p
 
btkadams said:
i still can't comprehend how you get him a handheld/console for his birthdays and cell phones for valentines day. spoiled! you should talk to my bf and get him to buy me a psp with his tax return haha.

why don't you try and make him something sentimental? for my recent 2nd anniversary with my bf, i bought a shitload of construction paper and made a packet of coloured/decorated papers held together by ribbon. on each "page" was 3 things i love about him. it was relatively cheap to make and he really liked it! sentimental gifts can be fun to make.
Click to expand...

problem is that he still lives with his parents (here in italy it's not like over there, we tend to not leave our parent's house until really late... according to statistic studies just about 10% of people under 30 don't live with their parents and just about 50% of those under 40 do) and he didn't really came out to them, so if i get him something like that i'd have to keep it at my place or he'd have to hide it T_T

we are planning about moving away together (we want to move to the us actually ^^) but i don't really want to give him something i'd have to keep for him until we move.
 
EVERYONE STOP PLAYING NIER OR WHATEVER THE GAY FLAVOUR OF THE MONTH IS

Head here

This is the most believable/non-offensive portrayal of homosexual/heteroflexible relationships/people ever to grace gaming. Game should take you a few hours. I'd recommend playing Digital: A Love Story first, but it is far from necessary.

Seriously, go play. Then we discuss. Such discussions are important. Because I've honestly waited for a game to pay homo/bi/heterofelxible this degree of respect for a looooooong time.
 
Suairyu said:
EVERYONE STOP PLAYING NIER OR WHATEVER THE GAY FLAVOUR OF THE MONTH IS

Head here

This is the most believable/non-offensive portrayal of homosexual/heteroflexible relationships/people ever to grace gaming. Game should take you a few hours. I'd recommend playing Digital: A Love Story first, but it is far from necessary.

Seriously, go play. Then we discuss. Such discussions are important. Because I've honestly waited for a game to pay homo/bi/heterofelxible this degree of respect for a looooooong time.
Click to expand...
what no one should stop playing Nier screw you!
 
ZephyrFate said:
what no one should stop playing Nier screw you!
Click to expand...
NIER'S GAY CONTENT IS INFERIOR TO THIS GAME'S.

THIS GAME EVEN HAS A BETTER TITLE.

Don't take it personally, babe, it just ain't your story here

I mean, you know a game means business with a title like that!
 
Suairyu said:
NIER'S GAY CONTENT IS INFERIOR TO THIS GAME'S.

THIS GAME EVEN HAS A BETTER TITLE.

Don't take it personally, babe, it just ain't your story here

I mean, you know a game means business with a title like that!
Click to expand...
Nier has all of ONE gay character. I don't think the gays were playing it because of the homosexual content :P
 
My best friend is gay and he opened up to me about this in my senior your of HS. Few things flooded my mind when I heard this, one being how insensitive & intolerant I was before I knew someone as close as he was being gay and the other was why he didn't tell me sooner(though obviously me being a jerk on this subject kind of helped, shoot I wouldn't have ever bothered being friends with someone like myself considering how much of a colossal ass I was).

This was about they time I finally broke off with my religion completely(this was a slow build up and not directly due to my friend coming out to me, though it did play a big part in getting me to finally remove myself from organized religion completely).

Its been about 4 years since then, we've been the best of friends and I'm not the insufferable jerk I was as a kid(maturity FTW) and am quite honestly the most open hetero male I know considering my background and upbringing.

Just wanted to share this. :)
 
Suairyu said:
EVERYONE STOP PLAYING NIER OR WHATEVER THE GAY FLAVOUR OF THE MONTH IS

Head here

This is the most believable/non-offensive portrayal of homosexual/heteroflexible relationships/people ever to grace gaming. Game should take you a few hours. I'd recommend playing Digital: A Love Story first, but it is far from necessary.

Seriously, go play. Then we discuss. Such discussions are important. Because I've honestly waited for a game to pay homo/bi/heterofelxible this degree of respect for a looooooong time.
Click to expand...

I enjoyed that, thanks.
I'm kind of ambivalent about the ending. In the case of my own personality I'm probably too private, so I appreciated the message as providing more of a balanced perspective. It did get me thinking a little about why I'm that way, but I think it's more complex of an issue than what I took from the presentation.
 
Derwind said:
My best friend is gay and he opened up to me about this in my senior your of HS. Few things flooded my mind when I heard this, one being how insensitive & intolerant I was before I knew someone as close as he was being gay and the other was why he didn't tell me sooner(though obviously me being a jerk on this subject kind of helped, shoot I wouldn't have ever bothered being friends with someone like myself considering how much of a colossal ass I was).

This was about they time I finally broke off with my religion completely(this was a slow build up and not directly due to my friend coming out to me, though it did play a big part in getting me to finally remove myself from organized religion completely).

Its been about 4 years since then, we've been the best of friends and I'm not the insufferable jerk I was as a kid(maturity FTW) and am quite honestly the most open hetero male I know considering my background and upbringing.

Just wanted to share this. :)
Click to expand...

I like stories like this, I feel similarly (minus the Hetero part) thanks to some of the friendships I have made in recent years, glad you stuck by your friend too.
 
Derwind said:
My best friend is gay and he opened up to me about this in my senior your of HS. Few things flooded my mind when I heard this, one being how insensitive & intolerant I was before I knew someone as close as he was being gay and the other was why he didn't tell me sooner(though obviously me being a jerk on this subject kind of helped, shoot I wouldn't have ever bothered being friends with someone like myself considering how much of a colossal ass I was).

This was about they time I finally broke off with my religion completely(this was a slow build up and not directly due to my friend coming out to me, though it did play a big part in getting me to finally remove myself from organized religion completely).

Its been about 4 years since then, we've been the best of friends and I'm not the insufferable jerk I was as a kid(maturity FTW) and am quite honestly the most open hetero male I know considering my background and upbringing.

Just wanted to share this. :)
Click to expand...

I'm just wondering in what ways were you a colossal ass? You probably don't check this thread though.
 
elohel said:
question:

you guys ever stay friends with your ex(s)?
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I guess it depends on why you broke up and what attracted you to them in the first place. The last guy I was with became one of my best friends very quickly and just because we broke up that didn't change.

When you have a messy or difficult break up it could be harder to remain friends, but if you had a good thing going, had a good buzz between you and care about each other, seems a bit of a waste not to remain friends.

If you still have feelings for the guy it can be hard but when you see him move on I guess you just come to terms with the fact that things have changed (and vice versa if they still have feelings and you've moved on).

I guess sometimes the love ends, and you move on. Other times the love changes and you can stay good friends. Perhaps even joke about the times when you f'd him in the a. The rest of the time you have the best intension to stay in touch but drift apart anyways.
 
GothPunk said:
I guess it depends on why you broke up and what attracted you to them in the first place. The last guy I was with became one of my best friends very quickly and just because we broke up that didn't change.

When you have a messy or difficult break up it could be harder to remain friends, but if you had a good thing going, had a good buzz between you and care about each other, seems a bit of a waste not to remain friends.

If you still have feelings for the guy it can be hard but when you see him move on I guess you just come to terms with the fact that things have changed (and vice versa if they still have feelings and you've moved on).

I guess sometimes the love ends, and you move on. Other times the love changes and you can stay good friends. Perhaps even joke about the times when you f'd him in the a. The rest of the time you have the best intension to stay in touch but drift apart anyways.
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wisdom

yeah im still getting used to the change, i kinda wish we'd hang out more, but at the same time ive been busy so, maybe that'll change when things cool down a bit

he said he wanted to be friends, and i definitely do, i kinda feel like he's hiding his new bf as if id give him shit or something

is it weird that im happy he's seeing someone? lol that possible?
 
To answer elohel,

My ex is one of my best friend. Like GothPunk, we started seeing each other and as the romantic relationship was developing, so was the friendship (they are kinda indissociable imo). In the end, the break up was mostly clean and was greatly due to the fact that we felt too young to be seriously with one another and felt we had to discover new things.
The first couple of weeks/months were hard because we still wanted to hang out with each other (and were working together at that time) but I knew that I had to not see him that often for a while in order for us to be able to stay friends. He ended up moving back to the US as I stayed in the UK for a bit so that enabled us to "mourn" each other.

That said, the friendship I have with him is different from the one I have with my other best friends I didn't go out with. We were together for 2 years and it took me a year to be totally ok with him dating and telling me about it. I now realize that it was a good thing we broke up, and although I still love him very much, I know there is someone out there that will be a better fit for me (and vice versa).
 
I always loved the song Lambada by Kaoma back when I was a kid, and even though it's not too inventive, love the newish JLo cover/song as a result. Such a catchy melody; deserved to be heard again in modern music.

This was the most relevant thread to post this random thought in, haha.

I need a man so badly.
 
The guy at work I have a huge crush on asked about 3DS today so he was excited to find I had one right there! He played with AR etc so I used the opportunity to snap a 3D pic of him lol (under the guise of 'demonstrating' it).

b4t8rc.png


gah it doesnt do him justice but he's smexy
 
Has anyone been in a relationship with a workaholic?

We've recently moved in together and how much he works really bothers me. Often he leaves before 8 in the morning and get home at 10 in the evening. And it often happens that he works in front of the computer when he gets home until it's time for bed...

He knows I think he works too much, but that's what he wan't to do and he thinks it's fun. I don't want to stand in the way of that. If I "forced" him to be home more when I know he'd often rather do something else, I don't think that would work very well for either of us...

Does anyone else have experience with people like that? How do you cope with spending very little time with your SO?
 
elohel said:
wisdom

yeah im still getting used to the change, i kinda wish we'd hang out more, but at the same time ive been busy so, maybe that'll change when things cool down a bit
Click to expand...
Yeah it probably takes a bit of extra effort when you're getting used to the change. Does he know that you're not avoiding him and that you're just busy?

elohel said:
he said he wanted to be friends, and i definitely do, i kinda feel like he's hiding his new bf as if id give him shit or something

is it weird that im happy he's seeing someone? lol that possible?
Click to expand...
If you care about someone you want them to be happy I would think! :D

I'd say that when you have an amicable enough break up you definitely want them to be happy - like if they're just a kickass awesome guy who charms the pants off you then of course you're going to want them to be happy, because you probably feel like they deserve to be happy even if it's not with you. Perhaps it reflects well on yourself too - that you can get over the break up and wish them well, instead of being vindictive, or having to avoid them for fear that you have no self control.

Unless of course the guy was abusive or something, no I don't think it's weird at all.
 
So I thought things were going swimingly with my new boyfriend. We've been going out for a month now and we always enjoy each other's company and text each other almost every minute of the day. We've got our holiday booked and paid for and we both can't wait to go together... yet something came to my attention on Wednesday. Something I never expected him to do as he always seemed very genuine (yeah, I know).

We met up and went out on a day trip and were using his iPhone as a satnav to help us get there. Now when I turned it on to check if we were on the right track and he had a message notification from "someone" called Boyahoy... now I didn't think much of it initially and just briefly saw the name and not the content but I just thought it was from one of his mates (but was perplexed at the name). Anyways it wasn't until the following day when it twigged... Boyahoy sounded like a dating app? So I searched and to my sadness it was. I downloaded it and sure enough, there he was and just recently signed up too (the 19th). He had his pictures on, though just normal ones and with a desciption of "Feel free to say hi Up for a nice chat :)".

What the hell! What does this even mean? He has his friends (most of which are gay themselves), so why would he need to sign up to this now? Should I be alarmed or even ask him about it? It was something I always feared about a relationship is them going behind your back and having stuff like this going on. He deleted Grindr ages ago off his phone after we first started talking and it's how we initially met.

Problem is I don't wanna cause a problem by bringing it up... yet it's eating at me and I feel hurt by it. The day I found out I didn't txt him until really late in the day. He txted me a couple times in the day as normal, but I was angry and didn't know how to deal with it. Then when I txted back later he got annoyed at me for not txting him. Then I felt the awkward/guilty one even though I haven't done anything wrong. He asked if I was pissed off for some reason but I couldn't bring myself to say anything cause I don't know if I should feel it is a problem and cause an argument. Yet he's "online" most of the time, so I don't know what he's doing on there or even why.

GAF help! :'(
 
A month of dating and you're already boyfriends? Do I just move incredibly slow? I normally call someone my boyfriend until maybe month and a half-2 months of dating.

But, do what Zeph said and ask him about it. Don't wave a finger at him accusing him of deceit, but allow him to respond. Gauge what he says as much as his body language. You'll know his true intent.
 
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