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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
- Thread starter Replicant
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badcrumble
Member
If he cheated on his ex and he's doing this, then at worst he's already cheating on you, and at best he's falling into exactly the same behavior patterns that led him into that pattern of behavior in the past (and is willing to expose himself to that kind of temptation, at your risk). You're absolutely right to be upset about this, and absolutely right to be worried. I'm not going to say DUMP HIS ASS IMMEDIATELY because that's your choice and your decision, but you are absolutely at risk of being cheated on if it's not already happening.moniker said:
3 annoying stories from the last week or so from me:
1.) Came home at 10pm last Friday and there was all freshly picked flowers on my window, and even on my bed! I was a bit confused how they got there - like how would someone even get in my room, but just went to sleep, not really caring.
Then, 1pm on Saturday morning, I'm woken up by someone pushing open my windows / curtains trying to get my attention. Apparently some guy I met the week prior had come to visit me TWICE without asking - almost stalker'ish. So obviously I went outside and told them I was only interested in staying friends.
2.) Same Saturday, got a text message from someone I do like, to meet up. We've met up and obviously 'got it on' a few times over the last month. Had a good night, chatted, watched a film, said we'd do it again....3 days later I get an invite to his civil partnership wedding! wth. He was engaged the whole time?
3.) Had a good time with someone a week ago, was going to message them to say we should keep in touch etc. but did a random google search on their number first - basically came up with tons of craiglist type adverts of them offering their "services", needless to say - I didn't bother with the text.
So yeh, not been a great month for me.
1.) Came home at 10pm last Friday and there was all freshly picked flowers on my window, and even on my bed! I was a bit confused how they got there - like how would someone even get in my room, but just went to sleep, not really caring.
Then, 1pm on Saturday morning, I'm woken up by someone pushing open my windows / curtains trying to get my attention. Apparently some guy I met the week prior had come to visit me TWICE without asking - almost stalker'ish. So obviously I went outside and told them I was only interested in staying friends.
2.) Same Saturday, got a text message from someone I do like, to meet up. We've met up and obviously 'got it on' a few times over the last month. Had a good night, chatted, watched a film, said we'd do it again....3 days later I get an invite to his civil partnership wedding! wth. He was engaged the whole time?
3.) Had a good time with someone a week ago, was going to message them to say we should keep in touch etc. but did a random google search on their number first - basically came up with tons of craiglist type adverts of them offering their "services", needless to say - I didn't bother with the text.
So yeh, not been a great month for me.
BlazingDarkness
Member
Hamfam said:
lol that's kind of fucked up
Maybe time to embrace quality>quantity?
BlazingDarkness
Member
Get rid. Immediately.moniker said:
runlikehell
Banned
How did you find out? :smoniker said:
moniker
Member
badcrumble said:
As I understand it, with his ex he was in the closet (and his ex was open), and once things started getting too serious for him he started screwing around as a really bad way to handle the situation and a way to get out of the relationship. I don't think he's been cheating on me, but I also think it was just a matter of time before he would. I think the part about falling into old behavior patterns is spot on.
BlazingDarkness said:
It's not that easy. We're living together, and I love him very, very much. He's a big part of me and my best friend - I have no idea what I would do without him.
I'm at a loss on what to do now. I'm not angry with him, I'm just very sad and hurt.
badcrumble
Member
Would you broke up with him if you knew he was cheating on you?moniker said:
moniker
Member
Scythe27 said:
We've only been living together about 5 months, but we slept over at each others every night of the week for months before that so it feels longer. He hasn't been home since I found out (he stays in hotels 1-2 night a week because of work) so we've only spoken over the phone. We've said that we're going to have an honest conversation about everything that has transpired, and that he would answer all my questions truthfully. He says he loves me (and I believe him) and seems very intent on mending things and I'm really hoping we can get through this.
badcrumble said:
I honestly don't know. I can't stand the thought of losing him.
badcrumble
Member
No offense, but that's messed up. If you have that kind of attitude you are ASKING to get taken advantage of, which is incredibly dangerous if you're dating someone with a history of cheating. I'm sure he's a great guy in other ways, but this does NOT sound like a healthy relationship among equals to me.moniker said:
I've got a bad feeling about this.
badcrumble
Member
That's absolutely your choice and up to you - like I said, I'm not willing to jump to say DUMP THE BASTARD IMMEDIATELY NO MATTER WHAT - but you need to be able to stick to that. It's really easy to say "never again!!" and then find yourself giving out more and more and more 'second chances.' You don't absolutely have to dump him, but you do have to be firm, and you have to make him genuinely regret this and realize that you will truly leave him if this ever happens again. If you don't live up to what you're saying here if and when this happens again, you're betraying yourself and breaking the promises you've made to yourself out of emotional weakness and fear of leaving him.moniker said:
Basically, if you give him a second chance, you need to be absolutely certain with yourself that it'll also be a last chance, or it's meaningless.
The hotel thing worries me not only because it's likely that he's cheated on you, but because (frankly) it's very easy for him to get away with cheating in the future without you finding out (if he just sets up a different email address for himself). Emotionally immature people - of which repeat cheaters are absolutely a subset, and don't forget that - don't regret their actions, they regret getting caught.
It sucks to be in that situation, but I have found that there are an increasing number of people out there who don't believe that flirting and camming with someone they will never meet is considered as cheating or being unfaithful. The increased accessibility and anonymity of online contact just seem to exacerbate that kind of attitude. I am of the opinion that it doesn't take much for one to blur the line between fantasizing and really partaking in an action.
badcrumble
Member
Another important thing to remember: if you guys do stick together, this'll cast a shadow over your relationship for a very, very long time. You'll feel more jealous and suspicious, he'll feel like he's constantly under suspicion, et cetera. Things can't just go immediately back to normal after a long conversation and an exchange of hugs.
Broken trust takes a LONG time to mend. Stick with him only if you believe you guys can truly mend it, not because you're afraid to leave. If all you want is for things to go back to the way they were, understand that that is not an option; you cannot have that.
Broken trust takes a LONG time to mend. Stick with him only if you believe you guys can truly mend it, not because you're afraid to leave. If all you want is for things to go back to the way they were, understand that that is not an option; you cannot have that.
badcrumble said:
Yup, speaking from experience. There will also be a lot of anger and resentment for a period. The worst thing you can do for your relationship though, if you want to mend, is to keep bringing up what he did after he's apologized and says he won't do it again. If you choose to believe him and continue with the relationship, don't ruin it by bringing the topic up repeatedly. It will be hard but it is a must.
Example: He makes a smart remark about something you did, and you snap back with, "Well at least I didn't fuck some other dude," out of lingering frustration. That will NEVER work out.
moniker
Member
badcrumble said:
You're right about all of this, and my thoughts are clearer now. I'm really thankful for your insight.
badcrumble said:
Yes, I'm prepared for all of this. I have already told him things will have to change if this is going to have any chance of working out. And not just this, he must come out of the closet and start taking responsibility (which has been a big problem for me as I have met his family many times, but have had to pretend to be a "friend"). Last time I brought it up he got mad, but after last night he said he was ready. Like he was willing to make a real effort to make this work.
xelios said:
I don't think I'm going to feel anger and resentment, that's not me. Anxiety and sadness probably. And I believe him when he says he hasn't cheated (well, I consider what he did a form of cheating, but I don't think he's fucked anyone else). But I also think that he would have sooner or later if things were to continue like before.
Anyway, thank you guys for your responses. Just hearing others views on this has been really helpful.
What xelios said it's pretty much spot on.
A few months ago my bf was texting with his "friend" (while we were watching Devil wears Prada, movie I can't watch anymore, for now), I catched a glimpse of the conversation(he was besides me and he didn't let the effing blackberry off [i hate those things now
]), I didn't say anything at first and was still watching the movie but paying attention to what he was texting, until after a few minutes where it all turned into a date-sex conversation , he thought the whole time I was watching the movie, not paying attention to his doings and also thought I couldn't see what he texted since he adapted a weird angle every time he was typing, but being the stupid beyatch I am, I was able to see the texts, neck and eye pain later (sacrifices must be made)
I was really nervous at first until that convo reached a new high , so I stopped the movie and asked him to give me his cellphone, he refused telling me he didn't like my tone. Shit-storm started!
I was really sad and started crying, he was crying too saying it was a friend and it was not what I thought that he loved me and all that stuff. That happened at like 11pm, the discussion raged on , now it moved to "I know I'm an idiot I got carried away but he is just a friend! I will stop using my cellphone if that's what you want", I was just too tired and sad not even not paying attention,but just sitting there crying till like at 5 am I told him to go back to his room, he hesitated a while until he left and came back later with his laptop and cellphone, he left them in my room and when to sleep in his (in short: we lived in different rooms, but same building in this lost town here in Mexico, thanks to work). That night was Saturday, Sunday was the worst day ever, we were supposed to go with friends to a fair in a near town, I stayed in my room all day 
I didn't talk to him for the next few days. Days later, at night, he asked me to go with him to the dinning hall , I agreed not saying a word and it was the start of V2 our relationship. Lights off, candles all over the place and dinner , from that day he always prepares breakfast, goes with me to...everywhere (when in the past sometimes he didn't come along), tells me who called him, who texted him, who will he call, oversleeps with me (before he would wake up shower and then wake me up because we had to "get most of the rest days" even if I carried the zombie face everywhere and sometimes I just wanna sleep, really), playing videogames he doesn't like with me(geek
), exercising with me he(he doesn't like exercisie), in the end he is doing many many things to show that he cares.
And yet sometimes I don't feel it, and (as xelios said) feel that I'm disrespecting myself by staying. I told him that and he goes on to apologize and tell me how he messed up and that he knows I don't trust him 100% anymore specially because sometimes I'm cold to him now, but he insist that he will keep trying to make things better than even before this...incident.
Sometimes I think I'm stretching his patience too much, but then again before we were together I told him how I become an annoying bitch that will make him suffer if he cheats on me(my ex also cheated on me). Slowly he is regaining my trust, but he has to keep trying, it's not something that's easily forgotten.
Right now we live in different cities , and he comes most weekends, and when he cannot come, he calls whenever he is going out with friends or to a party. Adding to my bitchiness, he has to answer whenever I call, or call back asap, and turn on the webcam whenever I want and I can see whats on his cellphone whenever i want to. Not that I do it regularly, but promises are to be fulfilled.
So yeah, that was part rant part advice. But do no take a decision when you are emotionally weak, specially cause most decisions will lead you to the "I can't live without him"
A few months ago my bf was texting with his "friend" (while we were watching Devil wears Prada, movie I can't watch anymore, for now), I catched a glimpse of the conversation(he was besides me and he didn't let the effing blackberry off [i hate those things now
]), I didn't say anything at first and was still watching the movie but paying attention to what he was texting, until after a few minutes where it all turned into a date-sex conversation , he thought the whole time I was watching the movie, not paying attention to his doings and also thought I couldn't see what he texted since he adapted a weird angle every time he was typing, but being the stupid beyatch I am, I was able to see the texts, neck and eye pain later (sacrifices must be made)I was really nervous at first until that convo reached a new high , so I stopped the movie and asked him to give me his cellphone, he refused telling me he didn't like my tone. Shit-storm started!
I was really sad and started crying, he was crying too saying it was a friend and it was not what I thought that he loved me and all that stuff. That happened at like 11pm, the discussion raged on , now it moved to "I know I'm an idiot I got carried away but he is just a friend! I will stop using my cellphone if that's what you want", I was just too tired and sad not even not paying attention,but just sitting there crying till like at 5 am I told him to go back to his room, he hesitated a while until he left and came back later with his laptop and cellphone, he left them in my room and when to sleep in his (in short: we lived in different rooms, but same building in this lost town here in Mexico, thanks to work
). That night was Saturday, Sunday was the worst day ever, we were supposed to go with friends to a fair in a near town, I stayed in my room all day I didn't talk to him for the next few days. Days later, at night, he asked me to go with him to the dinning hall , I agreed not saying a word and it was the start of V2 our relationship. Lights off, candles all over the place and dinner , from that day he always prepares breakfast, goes with me to...everywhere (when in the past sometimes he didn't come along), tells me who called him, who texted him, who will he call, oversleeps with me (before he would wake up shower and then wake me up because we had to "get most of the rest days" even if I carried the zombie face everywhere and sometimes I just wanna sleep, really), playing videogames he doesn't like with me(geek
), exercising with me he(he doesn't like exercisie), in the end he is doing many many things to show that he cares.And yet sometimes I don't feel it, and (as xelios said) feel that I'm disrespecting myself by staying. I told him that and he goes on to apologize and tell me how he messed up and that he knows I don't trust him 100% anymore specially because sometimes I'm cold to him now, but he insist that he will keep trying to make things better than even before this...incident.
Sometimes I think I'm stretching his patience too much, but then again before we were together I told him how I become an annoying bitch that will make him suffer if he cheats on me(my ex also cheated on me). Slowly he is regaining my trust, but he has to keep trying, it's not something that's easily forgotten.
Right now we live in different cities , and he comes most weekends, and when he cannot come, he calls whenever he is going out with friends or to a party. Adding to my bitchiness, he has to answer whenever I call, or call back asap, and turn on the webcam whenever I want
and I can see whats on his cellphone whenever i want to. Not that I do it regularly, but promises are to be fulfilled.So yeah, that was part rant part advice. But do no take a decision when you are emotionally weak, specially cause most decisions will lead you to the "I can't live without him"
Erebus
Member
I'm definitely not mega hot but even if I was, I've had no luck with the few guys I've met so far. There was this guy that I was talking with for about a month on the phone and online prior to meeting in person; and once we finally went out together, I was disappointed because he was not exactly what I expected.ZephyrFate said:
Way to effeminate for my liking.
Then there are the online gay dating sites that I truly loathe and with every day I spent there I realize that I'm probably too romantic or not gay enough for that, I don't know. Everyone there seems to be either full of their own ego and rude or straight-up lunatics. Not to mention that 90% of them are looking just for sex (I know shocker
).There are, of course, exceptions but they always end up not being interested in me.
Or maybe I should just lower my standards and realize that I'm never gonna find what I'm looking for.
Trust me, I'm one step away from simply not caring anymore. Maybe the more I obsess about it, the harder it gets to find someone. I'd better try and make some gay friends to go out with instead.Replicant said:
No, don´t lower your standard, yes dating sites sucks for the most part.DarkUSS said:Or maybe I should just lower my standards and realize that I'm never gonna find what I'm looking for.
Trust me, I'm one step away from simply not caring anymore. Maybe the more I obsess about it, the harder it gets to find someone. I'd better try and make some gay friends to go out with instead.
And bold part is like a rule of life! Don't get obsessed with looking for someone, go with the flow (not exactly doing nothing but extremes are never good), and don't lose hope!!!
umop_3pisdn
Member
DarkUSS said:I'm definitely not mega hot but even if I was, I've had no luck with the few guys I've met so far. There was this guy that I was talking with for about a month on the phone and online prior to meeting in person; and once we finally went out together, I was disappointed because he was not exactly what I expected.Way to effeminate for my liking.
Then there are the online gay dating sites that I truly loathe and with every day I spent there I realize that I'm probably too romantic or not gay enough for that, I don't know. Everyone there seems to be either full of their own ego and rude or straight-up lunatics. Not to mention that 90% of them are looking just for sex (I know shocker
There are, of course, exceptions but they always end up not being interested in me.
Or maybe I should just lower my standards and realize that I'm never gonna find what I'm looking for.
Trust me, I'm one step away from simply not caring anymore. Maybe the more I obsess about it, the harder it gets to find someone. I'd better try and make some gay friends to go out with instead.
Honestly, I think there's no point if you're not being choosy, granted your criteria is meaningful. Liking someone enough to want to build a life together should be exceedingly rare, people are complicated, relationships more so, and few people seem to even know what they want (though that might have to do with my age), so in such circumstances it's practically doomed from the start. Settling has always struck me as rather pathetic, personally I'd rather be single for the rest of my life.
Journeywalker
Banned
ivysaur12 said:
It's rather effective if you're trying to fall asleep.
Scythe27 said:
I didn't realize that was a feature until about 10 minutes ago. Oh well.
Ah, and if you block guys, more show up! Perfect!
EDIT: Also, someone needs to tell the gays from this area that abercrombie and hollister doesn't make them look good. Neither does smoking. Jesus.
I don't know what to do with this guy I've been chatting with forever online.
I can tell he's a sweetheart, and we have a bunch in common, and we've skyped, and texted, and we know each other, and he's a great guy by most indications.
Every time we try and figure out a date to meet and hang out, or actually even schedule one, he either disappears, cancels or, is indecisive about what/where to go.
He keeps telling me he likes me and wants to meet, but it never works out, lol.
These are signals to GTFO and forget about him, right?
I can tell he's a sweetheart, and we have a bunch in common, and we've skyped, and texted, and we know each other, and he's a great guy by most indications.
Every time we try and figure out a date to meet and hang out, or actually even schedule one, he either disappears, cancels or, is indecisive about what/where to go.
He keeps telling me he likes me and wants to meet, but it never works out, lol.
These are signals to GTFO and forget about him, right?
Zalasta said:
This is exactly how I feel on the subject.
Also on the subject of flirting and online sex, I caught my ex on the same websites doing the same things. He told me he was just replying to messages and looking for gay friends (he met a couple IRL for drinks who were def looking for more) because he felt trapped in the relationship.
He knew how I felt about cheating and even if I considered that as borderline emotional cheating, I let it go. We were good for a while until one day "out of the blue" he said he wanted us to take a break and that he wanted to see other people. I wrote "out of the blue" because I wasn't expecting it at the time but thinking back on it, it wasn't a surprise.
I didn't want to take a break. If he was gonna go out and fuck other people then we'd have to break up because I didn't want to wait on the sideline. It hurt and sucked so much, but in the end that was the best decision. We're still very good friends and I realize now that we were just not at the same emotional stage when it comes to relationship.
And then when I wasn't looking I found someone else although it looks like this time life is gonna break us up... Oh well.
[edit] Magnus, kick that guy to the curb.
I had the same thing happen to me, they're just loving the attention. I told that guy to GTFO and made myself available for people who are actually ready for something.
Yeah forget about him, if he was interested he would not disappear or cancel.Magnus said:
Why did he say he felt trapped? He didn't have any gay friend or it was it an excuse for his messages and meetings? (I mean, if I'm asking something you don't want to respond, don't answer)Alcoori said:
And also, why do you think life will break you? Distance? :/
/hugs Alcoori
umop_3pisdn
Member
Magnus said:
Probably, yes.
I'd guess he's uncertain of his feelings. He's receptive to advances in general, and can be easily flattered or wooed, or you could say he's willing to fall in love with anyone... but that level of interest is more exploratory in nature, in a way he's just open to "hearing you out", his willingness doesn't necessarily match his deeper feelings as completely as he'd like. He's probably convinced himself he's more interested than he actually is, which is why he might eagerly set a date one day and then back out the next.
I know people like that (
I'm like that
It's incredibly frustrating, but he might be just as mystified as you, which I guess can either be more or less annoying when taken into perspective.
Still, it's probably best to back out as you're unlikely to get a straight answer from him. As soon as you pull away he'll probably suddenly seem more interested, though.
I got a bunch of weird excuses tonight for the bail-out; money, depression and being unwilling to travel. Now a request to talk on the phone about why he's miserable.
God damn it. I mean, I'm a friendly guy, and I'm always there for my friends if they need to talk shit out and need a shoulder to cry on. But I have a habit of letting people walk all over me that I need to stop doing, and now I have to be there for someone I've never even met in the flesh.
He seems like a genuinely friendly, good-hearted guy under there, but man, drama before a date? I can't do this all over again, lol.
Throw me into the ring again with all of you who're feeling torn up about the dating game and looking for a man. We can be miserable together, lol. I'm actually almost to the point where it's not even saddening me anymore. I'm ready to laugh at it like the bad joke it is, and just finally do what people have been telling me for a decade; stop looking, and it'll just happen, which is BS imo, but fuck it, I'm too tired to keep trying. I go after what I want in life and usually get it, so it's jarring and unsettling to have to leave this part of life up to chance. Feels like time's ticking away.
God damn it. I mean, I'm a friendly guy, and I'm always there for my friends if they need to talk shit out and need a shoulder to cry on. But I have a habit of letting people walk all over me that I need to stop doing, and now I have to be there for someone I've never even met in the flesh.
He seems like a genuinely friendly, good-hearted guy under there, but man, drama before a date? I can't do this all over again, lol.
Throw me into the ring again with all of you who're feeling torn up about the dating game and looking for a man. We can be miserable together, lol. I'm actually almost to the point where it's not even saddening me anymore. I'm ready to laugh at it like the bad joke it is, and just finally do what people have been telling me for a decade; stop looking, and it'll just happen, which is BS imo, but fuck it, I'm too tired to keep trying. I go after what I want in life and usually get it, so it's jarring and unsettling to have to leave this part of life up to chance. Feels like time's ticking away.
Erebus
Member
Magnus, how old is the guy you're talking with? Does he have any past experiences with other guys or is he new to the whole gay dating thing? I don't know how long you've been chatting but if he's inexperienced and that's a first for him, perhaps he needs more time to meet you in person. Of course, I don't happen to know any more details so I may be totally wrong on all this.
I try to remain optimistic but it's hard sometimes.
It feels like I'm wasting my time and basically doing circles always ending up where I started.
As for the rest, to each their own but I can't agree with what you say. I can't imagine being single forever. In fact, it sucks being alone now at my 22 and I guess the situation is only gonna get worse as I grow older and most of my friends get married and settle down eventually.
Thanks for the advice mate. I guess I'll take it easy from now on and try to make some gay friends in the process, which is not as easy as it sounds being me. I'm not even fabulous.Jezan said:
I try to remain optimistic but it's hard sometimes.
I'm 22 and I have always been single. OK it took me a while to realize I'm gay but still... you get the idea
I don't think I'm unreasonably picky. I just look for an average, str8 acting (I know some hate the term but I don't know how else to describe it), down-to-earth guy with similar interests. That's all. I'm pretty self-aware and I know I'm not perfect myself.umop_3pisdn said:
As for the rest, to each their own but I can't agree with what you say. I can't imagine being single forever. In fact, it sucks being alone now at my 22 and I guess the situation is only gonna get worse as I grow older and most of my friends get married and settle down eventually.
ZephyrFate
Banned
Have you been going to any Greek gay bars, man? You should, if you aren't. Just be up front with people and say you're not there to hook up, but to hang out and meet people.
What? 22?DarkUSS said:Thanks for the advice mate. I guess I'll take it easy from now on and try to make some gay friends in the process, which is not as easy as it sounds being me. I'm not even fabulous.
I try to remain optimistic but it's hard sometimes.It feels like I'm wasting my time and basically doing circles always ending up where I started.I'm 22 and I have always been single. OK it took me a while to realize I'm gay but still... you get the idea
I was 21 (almost 22) when I had my first relationship....wait now I'm 23 and I'm in my second (and real first) one (started when I was 22)
Oh God I'm a slutty beyatch :/Magnus said:
If he's bailing on you and you honestly want to meet him, what is stopping you from offering to go to his place? If that doesn't work out, I'd say forget him. It's not worth the hassle at that point if he's unwilling to meet you when you're willing to meet him.
DarkUSS said:I'm 22 and I have always been single. OK it took me a while to realize I'm gay but still... you get the idea
22 is nothing. You're still young. If you're in college, go around and try to meet some guys there. Try dating sites (I know some people hate them here, but they do work now and then). Just get out there and try to meet people if that's what you really want to do.
Nazgul_Hunter
Member
So GAF, I hooked up with this guy back in August, when he was on a break with his bf (they soon after got together, and broke up). Anyway, we kept in touch and became friends and eventually beat friends. Naturally I fell for him.
We have talked about my feelings for him before. He says that because we became so close when he had a boyfriend, he doesn't think of me that way and that I'm closer to him than his brother. I'm Starting to give up hope that I'll ever get out of the friend zone, so this is mainly to vent / see if someone has had a similar situation with a hopefully better outcome.
We have talked about my feelings for him before. He says that because we became so close when he had a boyfriend, he doesn't think of me that way and that I'm closer to him than his brother. I'm Starting to give up hope that I'll ever get out of the friend zone, so this is mainly to vent / see if someone has had a similar situation with a hopefully better outcome.
umop_3pisdn
Member
DarkUSS said:
Twenty-two is nothing, I'd sincerely say not to worry about it. If you're actually open to a relationship... well, as long as you're not a recluse, I honestly can't see there being very many people in the world at large who never meet someone, likely multiple someones... probability is on your side. But things come when they do and not a moment sooner, maintaining a kind of actively hopeful expectation only makes the wait more agonizing.
It reminds me of a quote from stoic philosophy, personally I try to apply it to a lot of things, but it certainly works in the case of love. Roughly paraphrased, observe life like you would a dinner party. Your "food" will come when it is served, and if not at all, one is thankful just to be there. I'm not trying to be patronizing or anything, it's just we really have very little control, we should probably just be thankful to be alive and to have the chance (however slim) of finally getting our desired thing, instead of making ourselves more miserable for a lack of it along the way.
As for being alone... well, I'm probably a bit of an individualist in that regard. Without love I'd just become a Buddhist monk, which in many ways I'd actually prefer to do over starting a family. I'm just curious enough about love and these kinds of experiences that it serves as a substantial distraction for me, and I feel they're owed exploring. But oddly enough in many ways I'd prefer not to find love, because it makes the preferred decision easier. So all of those things considered it stands to reason the last thing I would want to do is settle.
But it also seems kind of sad aside from all of that. A person can fall in love with someone outside their normal "type", or whatever... but there's no settling in true love. I'm something of a romantic at heart, so honestly I just fail to see the point in intimately putting up with so much of another person's BS if not for that.
I rebounded from this horrible string of first dates by deciding to see the guy I had a summer fling with last year for the first time since last September. What a trip tonight was. Strange and happy to hang out with him again.
We got a little cuddly and shit, made out a bunch, and I think there's a silent tacit agreement to not 'date' again, just hang out and fuck around if we want to.
Man, I needed tonight, so badly, just to instill some confidence in me again and remember what it's like to have someone be into me that I'm also into, lol. Haven't had that since...like, March.
We got a little cuddly and shit, made out a bunch, and I think there's a silent tacit agreement to not 'date' again, just hang out and fuck around if we want to.
Man, I needed tonight, so badly, just to instill some confidence in me again and remember what it's like to have someone be into me that I'm also into, lol. Haven't had that since...like, March.
umop_3pisdn
Member
What does that even mean?
umop_3pisdn
Member
DR2K said:
So he wanted someone campy and he just read you wrong?
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