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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
- Thread starter Replicant
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badcrumble
Member
Meet guys you actually have things in common with, instead of trying to be someone you're not. There are plenty of gay guys who are into videogames and not into going clubbing all the time. Where do you live? I suggest looking for local gaymer groups and/or using OKCupid and stuff.fernoca said:
DarkUSS said:
Hehehe. Puerto Rico.badcrumble said:
In general I just moved on. There was a time it frustrated me and I started going from site to site, to club to club...mostly started around 22-23 years old, (in general started when I was around 15 years old..and I'm 29).
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't meet any good guys, I made around 4-5 god friends;, but they're also into other things...and other guys.
The thing is that I've always been clear in that I dont' expect to meet someone that likes videogames or the same things I like; but more like someone that understands that I like that stuff. That the moment I start playing a videogame, he doesn't just roll his eyes, or later gets pissed off and that i should stop playing them (is not like I play that much anyway). But even "expanding the opportunities", nothing. So I kinda gave up.
Then throw the usual self-steem issues on top of been unemployed for over a year, and I guess I kinda just gave up. Maybe i na few years I'll try again, or maybe I'll be too focused (or worried) in other things.
So I meet this guy for coffee, and have an awesome chat for about 2 hours. He's older than me (by 8 years), and a lawyer. He surfs and does kickboxing to keep fit, and is so ripped it's crazy. He used to play the cello. He's confident in an infectious way. I didn't realise guys like this actually exist!GothPunk said:
We decided to leave and got soaked in the rain, and went back to his place. We had the most incredible sex - unless that's just what bottoming feels like all the time? It was a very enlightening experience for me - I really feel like I learned something about myself. We're planning on meeting again, but it may just be to talk.
I don't really know why I'm writing this here, I guess I just needed to write it down. Is it weird that I had meaningless sex with a guy but that it has affected me somewhat on a psychological level?
Yeah. You met the guy, like him, had a nice conversation, and other things that made you like the guy even more. Then had sex and even agreed to meet again at some other time.
Meaningless would've been just meeting and finding a place to have sex and leaving without agreeing anything. but what you described doesn't sound meaningless at all, quite nice actually.
Or maybe I'm just jealous.
Meaningless would've been just meeting and finding a place to have sex and leaving without agreeing anything. but what you described doesn't sound meaningless at all, quite nice actually.
Or maybe I'm just jealous.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
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D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
You had a date with a ripped, enthusiastic, talkative lawyer, cellist, kick boxer, surfer, got caught in the rain (romantic), went home and had amazing sex.GothPunk said:
Sounds like the perfect date, brah
fernoca said:
Wow another Gay Gaf Guy from Puerto Rico. High Five! (First I notice if there are more more high fives then)
Well I have almost 3 months with a long distance relationship with my boyfriend from England. We speak almost everyday to check how are things going and sometimes have some sexy chat. Nothing fancy yet it works pretty well so far. Funny thing is never had any attention before having a bf and now that I have one I got some guys trying to get in my pants and all. Can't deny its a bit tempting at times but I have a boyfriend that I love so I keep it classy and say no to everyone.
runlikehell
Banned
Cool storyPupi18 said:
do you have plans to meet up or anything?runlikehell said:Cool story
I'll finish college this year so we are planning sometime after my graduation to see who visits who. I would love to go to England but all depends on my budget at the time. I'm starting to save up some of my cash so maybe I could go there this winter. If things go well that time we spend together I might move with him a bit later if things keep going smooth. Obviously I plan to look up for work there and do what everyone expects to happen, keep a good work, keep getting along, get a good place and enjoy ourselves. I might sound perhaps a little bit childish at it but its maybe because its my first relationship afterall. I'm keeping expectations low at things yet calculating things if the good things happen.
runlikehell
Banned
As long as you can stay honest with each other and you both want it to work, I don't see why it couldn't work out. But at least you're keeping yourself in perspective too by not raising your expectations massively, heh.Pupi18 said:I'll finish college this year so we are planning sometime after my graduation to see who visits who. I would love to go to England but all depends on my budget at the time. I'm starting to save up some of my cash so maybe I could go there this winter. If things go well that time we spend together I might move with him a bit later if things keep going smooth. Obviously I plan to look up for work there and do what everyone expects to happen, keep a good work, keep getting along, get a good place and enjoy ourselves. I might sound perhaps a little bit childish at it but its maybe because its my first relationship afterall. I'm keeping expectations low at things yet calculating things if the good things happen.
runlikehell
Banned
Me? I've been talking to a guy on OkCupid recently and he seems pretty nice. We've agreed to meet up once we have a free spot in our work schedules and I'm quite looking forward to it, but keeping expectations at a minimum in the (probably unlikely, but still possible) event of us not clicking when we meet.
MrGame&Watch
Member
I don't know if this is the correct thread but I was in Greenwich village today and completely forgot it was the gay pride parade today. It was fucking wild and had an awesome time. Congrats guys!
I finished reading this last week. I didn't really like the writing style at first, seemed very clumsily elaborate, but the more I read the more I realised that was just what the main character was like. Parts of it really upset me, but in a good way I guess. It really is an excellent book. Do you have any other suggestions (I couldn't find the books you recommended earlier in the thread at my college library)?Cosmic Bus said:
Hot lawyer recommended the book 'The Line of Beauty' to me so I have reserved it at the college library. Hope it's not too depressing. Has anyone ever read it?
_Isaac said:
Yeah you guys are right. I just wasn't expecting what happened - I met him on Grindr after all (my first time meeting a guy that way btw). I guess I'm just not used to sex with some guy I barely know effecting me so much. Sorry to sound so Greco-Roman about man sex but I think it took sex like that to finally know myself.Marius_ said:
Yeah, you're right, I guess I've just never experienced this with a stranger before. It's weird, I felt instantly secure and confident with him when I am usually quite nervous around new guys. Perhaps it's just possible to 'click' that way with someone even though you don't know them very well. Guys I had randoms with in the past just made me feel really used afterwards, but this was different somehow.fernoca said:
Again I'm very new to this so sorry if I don't make any sense. I feel good that I'm figuring stuff out though.
I know! :3 I feel like I'm living in a novel or something, hehe. What's great is that when I text him to see if he wants to meet up he's like 'whenever you want', 'sure thing' etc. We're going to meet up again on Thursday or Friday (it depends on how the experiments I'm running in work go). I doubt things are going to go anywhere with this guy but I'm not thinking about that, it just feels fuck awesome right now.Rez said:
Opus Angelorum
Member
Is there a heterosexual version of this thread? I searched and couldn't find anything.
I'm not going to make another 'girl-age' thread.
I'm not going to make another 'girl-age' thread.
Opus Angelorum
Member
Yoshiya said:
Got it thanks!
GothPunk said:
I had a great time with someone on Friday night which went along a similar lines. Unfortunetly they didn't want to meet again, which made me sad.
He's leaving the country in less than two weeks, and that's also why he split up with his last bf. So I guess it makes a little sense for us not to get too attached...but still, I would've liked to have met him one more time.
Still feel it's cuz I did something wrong, but don't know what.courage201
Member
btkadams said:
U should cook/bake something. Nothing shows how much u care more than food from the heart. Hallmark moment.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
btkadams said:
Make him something. Use your hands, your creativity. For example: get a small blank journal/notepad (there are plain brown recycled Moleskines that are nice for this) and decorate or draw on the cover, and fill part of it with some of your favorite lyrics, poems, quotes, odd little lists... glue pictures of the two of you inside, or of places that are meaningful, even random clippings from newspapers, magazines, etc. Just make it personal and interesting.
courage201
Member
God I love flan.
I swear if anyone ever puts spunk in my love dessert -- I'd flip out Theresa real housewives style.
I swear if anyone ever puts spunk in my love dessert -- I'd flip out Theresa real housewives style.
Bummer man, I know what that's like. I would imagine he's very busy with him just about to leave the country, but hey, at least you got one nice date with him. I always think that if you found a nice guy like that once you can find someone else like him again.Hamfam said:I had a great time with someone on Friday night which went along a similar lines. Unfortunetly they didn't want to meet again, which made me sad.
He's leaving the country in less than two weeks, and that's also why he split up with his last bf. So I guess it makes a little sense for us not to get too attached...but still, I would've liked to have met him one more time.
I'm meeting hot lawyer on Thursday I think, I'm so nervous again!
How romantic! :3 I agree, I always think making something for someone is a great expression of your caring and love. Writing a nice letter can be good too - something that they can pull out of a box months or years later and read to remember all the good times ^^.Cosmic Bus said:
runlikehell mentioned OkCupid above, that seems like a good one. My mother and my sister found their current beaus on PlentyOfFish, dunno if that's popular amongst gay guys in your area though.Marius_ said:
Phonomezer
Banned
Yoshiya said:
positively nauseating.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
Maybe I'm not very romantic, or something, but just to present an alternate perspective here, I kind of prefer it when a week or so passes and then we just meet up like nothing has happened before. I like sending and receiving the message "you're a realistically sized part of my much larger life", rather than the unsustainable "you are my everything".
If a guy starts making me scrapbooks and macaroni-pictures (actually...) I get a bit nervous. It hits my "oh god HE'S ON AN OBSESSION HIGH" panic-button, because it means I'm still a novelty. I'd rather get the message "I'm really happy to see you, I've been busy studying/working/being motivated and driven and enthusiastic in other parts of my life, because it's very important to me, but all the same, seeing you makes me happy" rather than "I spent the better part of the last day/week thinking about how to impress you because the rest of my life is boring compared to this". Again, it isn't that it's a bad gesture, I'm not ragging on anyone for putting in a bit of effort, it's lovely, it's just... I'm suspect of it.
I mean, every situation calls for a different approach, and every personality to different, but hey, that's the way I look at it. Maybe if you guys meet someone with a similar perspective after reading this post, you won't just assume he's an unappreciative, uninterested jerk.
I just need to stress again, I'm not trying to offend anybody or draw any naive assumptions about your motivations or lifestyle, I'm just trying to paint a picture of how I tend to interpret these situations in lieu of any context, which is often the case when you're first getting to know someone.
I'm more interested in a guy demonstrating how interesting his own life is, not how interested in me he his, because that's inherently implied anyway if we're dating. There's nothing more attractive to me than a person who's genuinely excited about life.
If a guy starts making me scrapbooks and macaroni-pictures (actually...) I get a bit nervous. It hits my "oh god HE'S ON AN OBSESSION HIGH" panic-button, because it means I'm still a novelty. I'd rather get the message "I'm really happy to see you, I've been busy studying/working/being motivated and driven and enthusiastic in other parts of my life, because it's very important to me, but all the same, seeing you makes me happy" rather than "I spent the better part of the last day/week thinking about how to impress you because the rest of my life is boring compared to this". Again, it isn't that it's a bad gesture, I'm not ragging on anyone for putting in a bit of effort, it's lovely, it's just... I'm suspect of it.
I mean, every situation calls for a different approach, and every personality to different, but hey, that's the way I look at it. Maybe if you guys meet someone with a similar perspective after reading this post, you won't just assume he's an unappreciative, uninterested jerk.
I just need to stress again, I'm not trying to offend anybody or draw any naive assumptions about your motivations or lifestyle, I'm just trying to paint a picture of how I tend to interpret these situations in lieu of any context, which is often the case when you're first getting to know someone.
I'm more interested in a guy demonstrating how interesting his own life is, not how interested in me he his, because that's inherently implied anyway if we're dating. There's nothing more attractive to me than a person who's genuinely excited about life.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
That's a lie. You've repeatedly knocked back my invitations for "movies" and "bread".i_am_ben said:
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
Every time a tall red head walks by, I whisper the name "Ben" and wait for a reaction
Rez said:Maybe I'm not very romantic, or something, but just to present an alternate perspective here, I kind of prefer it when a week or so passes and then we just meet up like nothing has happened before. I like sending and receiving the message "you're a realistically sized part of my much larger life", rather than the unsustainable "you are my everything".
If a guy starts making me scrapbooks and macaroni-pictures (actually...) I get a bit nervous. It hits my "oh god HE'S ON AN OBSESSION HIGH" panic-button, because it means I'm still a novelty. I'd rather get the message "I'm really happy to see you, I've been busy studying/working/being motivated and driven and enthusiastic in other parts of my life, because it's very important to me, but all the same, seeing you makes me happy" rather than "I spent the better part of the last day/week thinking about how to impress you because the rest of my life is boring compared to this". Again, it isn't that it's a bad gesture, I'm not ragging on anyone for putting in a bit of effort, it's lovely, it's just... I'm suspect of it.
I mean, every situation calls for a different approach, and every personality to different, but hey, that's the way I look at it. Maybe if you guys meet someone with a similar perspective after reading this post, you won't just assume he's an unappreciative, uninterested jerk.
I just need to stress again, I'm not trying to offend anybody or draw any naive assumptions about your motivations or lifestyle, I'm just trying to paint a picture of how I tend to interpret these situations in lieu of any context, which is often the case when you're first getting to know someone.
I'm more interested in a guy demonstrating how interesting his own life is, not how interested in me he his, because that's inherently implied anyway if we're dating. There's nothing more attractive to me than a person who's genuinely excited about life.
I would tend to agree with you, but only as far as getting a notebook out of the blue like the one Cosmic described would freak me out.
However cooking for me is definitely a plus, especially because I'm a vegetarian and most people will have to make the extra effort to cook a veggie meal.
On the other hand, to nuance what you said Rez, when I date someone I don't wanna feel like the other person hangs out with me because that's when he had a free evening in his busy week. I don't expect anyone to drop everything for me, but feeling like I'm interesting/important enough so that the person will want to hang out with me and will move things around to do so is pretty essential to me.
Larson Conway
Member
So Peanut Butter and I hit it off really well when we went out for a "hang" the other day. He kept saying he was glad/happy/grateful our common friend introduced us. We even spent time longer than we'd originally planned 'cause we just felt so "connected."
Fast forward to today. Grappling with the awkwardness of communicating through technology. I text, he replies. He makes sense. But it's always me who initiates. Never him. I try not texting him one whole day, he doesn't.
So I guess what I'm trying to get at is: If he does not initiate, does that mean he isn't as interested?
I have a feeling he's just doing this test and doing the waiting game to see how I play along with it, and that he actually likes me, but that might just be my pride talking. Omg I'm such a school girl I don't why this is torturing me, lol.
In other news: Robyn is <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlwzimWM424
Fast forward to today. Grappling with the awkwardness of communicating through technology. I text, he replies. He makes sense. But it's always me who initiates. Never him. I try not texting him one whole day, he doesn't.
So I guess what I'm trying to get at is: If he does not initiate, does that mean he isn't as interested?
I have a feeling he's just doing this test and doing the waiting game to see how I play along with it, and that he actually likes me, but that might just be my pride talking. Omg I'm such a school girl I don't why this is torturing me, lol.
In other news: Robyn is <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlwzimWM424
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Alcoori said:
To clarify, I wouldn't suggest doing something like that for a guy you've only been seeing for a few weeks... I mainly suggested it since btk and his dude have been together for a while now and I recalled that they were into cuter, affectionate little gifts and whatnot. Obviously some people are into things like this and others are not; I'd like to believe after a reasonable amount of time two people would know each other's personalities well enough to assess whether that'd end up being a memorable gift or an alarm trigger.
i have to disagree. i've been dating my bf for 2.5 years now and we see each other all the time. doing things for each other like making little romantic gifts doesn't represent having an obsession, it represents that even though we are such big parts of each other's lives, we don't take each other for granted. the idea of just not doing anything just seems like an indifference or selfabsorbed way of looking at a relationship. if you don't ever show that you missed someone or that you think about them, then what is special about the person you're with? are they not then just filling a role that will be easily replaced with the next boyfriend? you're right that a relationship shouldn't be the only concern in someones life and that it is part of a big picture, but your post seems to imply that showing you care is showing you have no life.Rez said:Maybe I'm not very romantic, or something, but just to present an alternate perspective here, I kind of prefer it when a week or so passes and then we just meet up like nothing has happened before. I like sending and receiving the message "you're a realistically sized part of my much larger life", rather than the unsustainable "you are my everything".
If a guy starts making me scrapbooks and macaroni-pictures (actually...) I get a bit nervous. It hits my "oh god HE'S ON AN OBSESSION HIGH" panic-button, because it means I'm still a novelty. I'd rather get the message "I'm really happy to see you, I've been busy studying/working/being motivated and driven and enthusiastic in other parts of my life, because it's very important to me, but all the same, seeing you makes me happy" rather than "I spent the better part of the last day/week thinking about how to impress you because the rest of my life is boring compared to this". Again, it isn't that it's a bad gesture, I'm not ragging on anyone for putting in a bit of effort, it's lovely, it's just... I'm suspect of it.
I mean, every situation calls for a different approach, and every personality to different, but hey, that's the way I look at it. Maybe if you guys meet someone with a similar perspective after reading this post, you won't just assume he's an unappreciative, uninterested jerk.
I just need to stress again, I'm not trying to offend anybody or draw any naive assumptions about your motivations or lifestyle, I'm just trying to paint a picture of how I tend to interpret these situations in lieu of any context, which is often the case when you're first getting to know someone.
I'm more interested in a guy demonstrating how interesting his own life is, not how interested in me he his, because that's inherently implied anyway if we're dating. There's nothing more attractive to me than a person who's genuinely excited about life.
it definitely doesn't mean he is disinterested. my boyfriend was like this when we first sstarted seeing each other too. some people just aren't as quick communicators. he has gotten substantially better though.Larson Conway said:
yup, agreed.Cosmic Bus said:
Cosmic Bus said:
Fair enough. I don't know why I was specifically thinking of giving that to someone who you just started seeing.
Larson Conway said:
Like Btk said, doesn't really mean anything and you shouldn't agonize about it (Easier said than done sometimes, I'm like that).
My boyfriend is shit at texting. His text come across super cold and distant, very direct and to the point. Told him about it some time ago and the other day I got an smiley in there, which was very out of character
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