Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!
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Hello all,
I decided to step out of my cocoon and try my hand at online dating this week. I created a profile (which I posted in the okcupid thread for feedback but went unnoticed), and truth be told, I don't know the first thing on how to go about it (been single most of my life; I'm bi, but more in the men direction I'd say). May I ask for your merciless judgement on the pictures I used for the profile? I don't consider myself particularly good looking, so I'm hoping the impression I make with the written word sells, though I'd still like the pictures to try and do the job.
Bah, I'll just post them:
One: http://goo.gl/VCy0A
Two: http://goo.gl/KlbFX
Three: http://goo.gl/Jfj6b (I fucking love muffins, ok?)
Critique away.
I decided to step out of my cocoon and try my hand at online dating this week. I created a profile (which I posted in the okcupid thread for feedback but went unnoticed), and truth be told, I don't know the first thing on how to go about it (been single most of my life; I'm bi, but more in the men direction I'd say). May I ask for your merciless judgement on the pictures I used for the profile? I don't consider myself particularly good looking, so I'm hoping the impression I make with the written word sells, though I'd still like the pictures to try and do the job.
Bah, I'll just post them:
One: http://goo.gl/VCy0A
Two: http://goo.gl/KlbFX
Three: http://goo.gl/Jfj6b (I fucking love muffins, ok?)
Critique away.
^ It seems this is the guy-only version of the post your pics thread, so you may as well go for it.
Is the bi in your name intentional?
e: since you updated your post
I hope you find a nice guy . . . or girl.
* * *
What ever happened to that woman with the Alice avatar? (I'm assuming it's Alice.) You guys scared her away, probably.
Is the bi in your name intentional?
e: since you updated your post
These good-looking people and their issues. (つ¯Д¯)つ
I hope you find a nice guy . . . or girl.
* * *
What ever happened to that woman with the Alice avatar? (I'm assuming it's Alice.) You guys scared her away, probably.
Is that how you wrestled his pants off? It's better that it wasn't through Skype, otherwise it would have ended in an archive.
very good looking, but that's an odd picture as you can't really tell it's a muffin and the facial expression isn't one i'd describe as love
yeah, i've still never been on the skype chat.
oh, and you're next...
The name was actually randomly generated by some old online rpg I played years ago. When I pronounce it, and when my friends pronounce it online, it's ("BEEmet"). I wish I could say I was clever enough to think of it, but no.
Like I said, I haven't really dated, and it's not until recently that I've put myself out there, so compliments are hard to come by. Please don't punch me
very good looking, but that's an odd picture as you can't really tell it's a muffin and the facial expression isn't one i'd describe as love
Yeah, maybe because it's more love-hate. Love the damn things, but hate their carbohydrate filled heaven. And I suck at self-portraits.
SpaceBridge
Member
Not a fan of the first pic. But the other ones are great. Their atypical and seem to communicate a sense of fun and humor which is always great. I don't know why you've struggled relationship wise, but if it's due to a lack of confidence with your looks, then don't. You're pretty damn fine, with great eyes. I'd date you if that means anything...at least I'd buy you a muffin or sumthin'.
Henchmen21
Banned
Gonna chime in and agree with everyone else.
Bimet you are good looking. Don't sell yourself short. I wish I could be as hot as you
Bimet you are good looking. Don't sell yourself short. I wish I could be as hot as you
I see about the name, dating is difficult at first, I guess. You'll get used to it.Like I said, I haven't really dated, and it's not until recently that I've put myself out there, so compliments are hard to come by. Please don't punch me
No one's going to punch you, just too many good looking people in this thread
I used to frequent past versions, but stopped after a certain point.
Also, I'm taken, so back off. (∩ﾟ Дﾟ⊃
⊃This will start being a meme soon.Gonna chime in and agree with everyone else.
Bimet you are good looking. Don't sell yourself short. I wish I could be as hot as you
I'm not good looking
Posts picture of self - is a model
SpaceBridge
Member
I see about the name, dating is difficult at first, I guess. You'll get used to it.
No one's going to punch you, just too many good looking people in this thread
I used to frequent past versions, but stopped after a certain point.
Also, I'm taken, so back off. (∩ﾟ Дﾟ
This will start being a meme soon.
I'm not good looking
Posts picture of self - is a model
Hate you're taken?
Thanks everyone. Didn't mean to appear like I'm only fetching for compliments; I've lived sort of a sheltered life, so I genuinely don't know where I stand. Also, the messages I've sent on that site have mostly gone unanswered, so maybe I'm being paranoid or I've butchered the writing in the profile (although I didn't use anything like, "I'm a huge nerd." Which I am, but hey). One of these days perhaps I can bother someone to judge the thing and help me out.
excuses: he's always got one.
hop on grindr, you'll figure out where you stand really quickly
just keep sending messages. make them complimentary, funny, or interestingly related to their profile
Necromanti
Member
hop on grindr, you'll figure out where you stand really quickly
what?
SpaceBridge
Member
Grindr wouldn't be something I'd advise him to do, not just yet.
Necromanti
Member
Hah, I don't want what you just said to be true.
SpaceBridge
Member
i'm not saying he has to go through with anything, but just as far as finding where he stands
I suspect he may need something a bit more substantial than the shock of Grindr.
I am curious as to the sheltered comment though, maybe he can share the details.
Hah, I don't want what you just said to be true.
my comment was only that if he wanted to know where he stood in terms of looks, he could count the number of advances on grinder in a week as an estimate of that.
a lot of people feel insecure about their looks, but when people do this, they often seem to compare themselves to more visible people who tend to be exceptions rather than the average. the interesting point is that our cyclic conversations about the most attractive guys in here, should tell everyone that there is no good way to really compare how attractive you are because it's all relative to the other person.
i have friends who are totally into nerdy-looking guys. the type of guys you would never see in a porn video or see in a magazine because they're not traditionally good looking. i have friends who like guys who are slightly chubby.
tastes differ. shock and awe!
going on grindr, regardless of what you're actually after, is probably a good way to confirm this. it says nothing about your worth as a human, but as far as your looks are concerned, it might prove the point that you'll get hit on no matter what. (well, assuming you have enough people around you... but that applies to many dating sites and such)
Never been on that site, but I'm gonna guess because they could turn out to be a tad bit less nicer than you guys and will crush whatever confidence I gain from this thread? Can't be as bad as okcupid! Maybe I'll try it.
The sheltered comment... I elaborated in another similar thread in '10, but I had another gaffer post the details then. Unfortunately, this online handle isn't being used only around here, and privacy is something I need... for now. I know, I'm rolling my eyes at that too, and I really hate not being able to share.
You are going public now? Finally!Also, I'm taken, so back off. (∩ﾟ Дﾟ
I'd like to see you start this!
SpaceBridge
Member
Makes 100% sense. I've been guilty of doing something similar to gauge how attractive I am. We've all got some self image issues, I know I do, heck I've struck out plenty of times and been turned down. Actually I had a bit of a melt down in the old thread cuz of sonething that happened between a myself and a guy I was chatting with online.
Necromanti
Member
I only meant that if I were to personally have judged my attractiveness based on how many people contacted me on Grindr in a week, I might as well give up now and wallow in my ugliness. It only reaffirmed my fears and my insecurities. It certainly did no favors for my self-esteem.
But perhaps what you say is true.Is he also gay?
What kind of conversations do you have at that time? What things does he say?
SpaceBridge
Member
Only when drunk.
I only meant that if I were to personally have judged my attractiveness based on how many people contacted me on Grindr in a week, I might as well give up now and wallow in my ugliness. It only reaffirmed my fears and my insecurities. It certainly did no favors for my self-esteem.
surely a sampling anomaly!
my point is that there's no such thing as ugliness as most people use it. it's simply the state of not having found the people who find you attractive.
sure there's the possibility of choosing bad pics. if you toss up a pic of you slitting your wrists, you might not get a lot of responses. however you're touching on something i didn't specifically address that i should. for me, the word attractive is an all-encompassing word that means more than just physical appearance. attractiveness is sort of the combined total of how others perceive you and one of the biggest influences of this is confidence and personality. this comes across in all sorts of ways and you can even see it in pictures and writing styles.
however, the point is that there's a lot more to attractiveness than just your physical appearance. you can shape perception with good pictures. bimet's are a good example of something that's at least one step above the standard mirror/phone pic (probably more!). have confidence that you're awesome, and others will start to think it. take pride in being yourself, and showcase that to people. that's attractive!
Frankly I think the self-image issues of the gay community greatly rival that of heterosexual women. It's horrendous. I'd love to say it's just men being vain (in part), but there's more to it.
God damn, now I want soco.surely a sampling anomaly!
my point is that there's no such thing as ugliness as most people use it. it's simply the state of not having found the people who find you attractive.
however you're touching on something i didn't specifically address that i should. for me, the word attractive is an all-encompassing word that means more than just physical appearance. attractiveness is sort of the combined total of how others perceive you and one of the biggest influences of this is confidence and personality. this comes across in all sorts of ways and you can even see it in pictures and writing styles.
however, the point is that there's a lot more to attractiveness than just your physical appearance. you can shape perception with good pictures. bimet's are a good example of something that's at least one step above the standard mirror/phone pic (probably more!). have confidence that you're awesome, and others will start to think it. take pride in being yourself, and showcase that to people. that's attractive!
Taken here, though
See? That's how attractiveness works.
He's gay and every time the conversation ends up being small talk. He doesn't say anything important. I don't know, the last time he was telling me that I have to move soon (He lives in another city. He's an online friend, we've been talking for 8 or 9 years).
my point is that there's no such thing as ugliness as most people use it. it's simply the state of not having found the people who find you attractive.
I would certainly contact anyone with a pic of him slitting his wrists. I'm sure he'd be more interesting than the others with regular pics.
Mystic Theurge
Member
I've probably needed glasses for years. Now that I want to learn how to drive, I have to get them.
You are definitely good looking so you don't have to worry about your looks.
I would say keep up with the sending messages to people you find interesting but make sure to actually read their profile instead of just looking at their pictures. Maybe send them a message regarding something that is written in their profile that you find interesting. It could be a good way to strike up a conversation.
I wouldn't really worry too much on people not responding to you since lots of people are just shallow. You can also seen when the last time someone logged on as well so they might just not be seeing your message yet.
I messaged a person the other day on a different website and instead of even reading the message the guy went straight to just deleting the message. I now realize I would be better off not knowing him.
King Endymion
Member
So, I broke up with my BF of almost 6 months today. You adviced me to months ago in the previous thread, but I still liked him and I knew that he couldn't handle it. I dreaded to do it since I knew he would go crazy, and boy, did I get that right.
It was horrible, being my first relationship with a guy, I dunno if I ever want to experience that again. Even though I was the one who did it, my day was ruined completely.
It was horrible, being my first relationship with a guy, I dunno if I ever want to experience that again.
Even though I was the one who did it, my day was ruined completely.wow you are very handsome. I wish i could look as good as you.
MyAbsolution
Member
Nlroh... i think that dude likes you and him being drunk is his way of saying things he normally couldnt sober. I used to hit on guys when i was drunk all the time. It kind of tellings if he wants you to move. He probably doesnt love you or anything, but maybe he likes you just enough that the thought of being with you excites him? Has he ever mentioned this sober.
Padawan of Windu
Member
Ugh my work blocked neogaf and now I'm so incredibly behind on here as I rarely go on the computer at home. Booo = (
But in happy news, Wii U conference tomorrow- wooo!
But in happy news, Wii U conference tomorrow- wooo!
Henchmen21
Banned
Morning GayGaf. Ok so it's almost noon here so what lol. How's everyone doing?
use a proxy!
we're waiting on you to help fill lonche's shoes. I can't do it!
SpaceBridge
Member
So, uhm, who's updating that Gaf Hot Men tumblr? Cuz, my word, those last few updates have been sticky and glorious.
Henchmen21
Banned
Lol I know you're going for the joke but I have no idea who that is.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
idk about this. Simply for the novelty, I tried Grindr for a period of time when I got my first smartphone and never got a single message from anyone.
On the topic, though, this was on my Tumblr feed last night and his profile got a nice chuckle out of me:
Either DMPrince or DarkUSS, because I haven't posted anything there in months.
SpaceBridge
Member
i saw that 41 year old again. he had me over for dinner last night and i had an awesome time once again. he is so much fun to hang out with. i can't help but obviously feel self-conscious about the age thing though. i get the feeling he wants to be friends on facebook and i'm not sure how to handle it lol. i have told a few good friends that i've been meeting/hooking up with a fredide and that he's older, but i haven't said his age. i feel like they will be super judgemental when they notice i'm friends with a freddie now and peep his profile/age. should i just not give a shit? i guess that's an obvious question with an obvious answer. i actually really like this guy and want to be his friend. it wouldn't even be a concern if he was 10 years younger.
just to be clear though, i do not intend on dating him. this is a friends with benefits kind of thing. i must admit that i do feel a spark with him, but i'm not sure what it means at the moment.
just to be clear though, i do not intend on dating him. this is a friends with benefits kind of thing. i must admit that i do feel a spark with him, but i'm not sure what it means at the moment.
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