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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need

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One of the guys my girlfriend works with is telling her i've been talking to him and telling him to back off from her when I have never even spoken to the guy. She trusts me and knows i'd tell her if I said something but still, how can I deal with knowing this guy is trying to create tension between us? And she sees him every week and talks to him... i'm gonna worry like crazy that this guy is messing us up :/ She doesn't wanna confront him about it because she has to work with him, i just don't know what to do gaf. Any ideas?

Have her go to HR if it continues.
 

Snowman

Member
Have her go to HR if it continues.

Not sure that's an option, it's just a saturday job as a waitress, we're pretty young (and i know this is going to lead to people saying that's the issue, and i know it kinda is, but that doesn't mean i don't want help) it's shaken me up pretty bad though, don't know if i can deal with her talking to a guy who's trying to break us up every week, it'll make me crazy...
 

zatara

Member
for the people that know my story a few pages back. I am about to begin phase one of "operation hammer time" which involves me cancelling everything in my name that she is still using at the house "electric,water,cable,internet,and cellphone" I am beyond infuriated that I let her play me like she did,she still talks to the dude more than even before.


should I feel remorse in doing this?
 
Not sure that's an option, it's just a saturday job as a waitress, we're pretty young (and i know this is going to lead to people saying that's the issue, and i know it kinda is, but that doesn't mean i don't want help) it's shaken me up pretty bad though, don't know if i can deal with her talking to a guy who's trying to break us up every week, it'll make me crazy...

Why are you so concerned? Trust her. You said she trusts you, so give her the same amount of trust.
 
Yeah that could be. She goes to UNO and I go to UNL, so it's about an hour drive, so I wanted to do it over break. See that's what I thought except she didn't make any comment about going out another time, so I asked her out to lunch tomorrow before I head back to school. I'm not looking for a relationship with her, just jumping back into the dating scene.

There's this other girl who I view as just a friend, but she's going freaking crazy right now. We madeout a week ago, I'd been drinking, but I told her straight up it was just a moment thing and that I was sorry and didn't have those feelings for her. She was cool with that and understood what I was going through. Now she's all like I'm gonna have to move on and I can't wait for you. We can't hangout. wtf. I told you straight up I didn't want to be with you.

Some girls are just insane. Even though I'm 21, it seems like every girl my age is immature and has no clue who they are or what they want. I know there are normal ones out there, but my god. o_O
Are you guys doing lunch then? If not, winter break is probably coming up for both of you, you'll have some time to do it then if you're still talking.

Yeah nothing you can do about that other girl. I've been on the receiving end of that as well and it always ends up bad. I guess just try and respect that apparently she had more feelings for you than she led you to believe and now she has to deal with them. Hopefully she's just in a bad mood or something and you don't lose a friend over it. That or blame it on the hormones.

Girl invited me out with some friends to some douchey 18+ club tonight(she's 26, I'm 27...) very much not the clubbing type, but I guess why not. I guess this becomes the 3rd date. She'll likely be pretty liquored up, let's see what happens.
Ew, those clubs are brutal. I don't know where you live, but here in Seattle we have 2 and they are both some of the most run-down spots in the entire city. Lots of really weird people there.

With that said, you do what you can. You can bond over being the oldest people there and make fun of all the young kids. Plus, I'm sure they have a bar area, so it won't be too bad. Good luck!

for the people that know my story a few pages back. I am about to begin phase one of "operation hammer time" which involves me cancelling everything in my name that she is still using at the house "electric,water,cable,internet,and cellphone" I am beyond infuriated that I let her play me like she did,she still talks to the dude more than even before.


should I feel remorse in doing this?
No remorse. Let operation hammer time commence.
 

Miguel

Member
Got myself a nap in, told her I would, I just slept longer than expected. Minimizes club time I suppose, she Texted me if I was still sleeping and that they were inside already. Laziness paying off for once heh.

Houston btw, like nine million clubs here.
 

Eggo

GameFan Alumnus
There's this other girl who I view as just a friend, but she's going freaking crazy right now. We madeout a week ago, I'd been drinking, but I told her straight up it was just a moment thing and that I was sorry and didn't have those feelings for her. She was cool with that and understood what I was going through. Now she's all like I'm gonna have to move on and I can't wait for you. We can't hangout. wtf. I told you straight up I didn't want to be with you.
We had a similar situation earlier in the thread, except a guy was on the other end of being friend zoned (I don't think he had made out with her either), and people in this thread were encouraging him to keep asking her out and not give up. Have some dignity, people. You can't persuade people into viewing you as a romantic prospect if they are not attracted in the first place.
 
for the people that know my story a few pages back. I am about to begin phase one of "operation hammer time" which involves me cancelling everything in my name that she is still using at the house "electric,water,cable,internet,and cellphone" I am beyond infuriated that I let her play me like she did,she still talks to the dude more than even before.


should I feel remorse in doing this?

Don't feel remorse. You may feel bad doing this right now, but in the long run I think you'll look back and see that you made the right decision.

Are you guys doing lunch then? If not, winter break is probably coming up for both of you, you'll have some time to do it then if you're still talking.

Well, she never responded to my text today so I'm going to assume no. Oh well, it was something I was looking forward to. Going to California with the family for winter break so yeah...lol. I'd rather go after girls on campus anyway since it's closer and easier, but if she wants to go out I would.
 

reilo

learning some important life lessons from magical Negroes
for the people that know my story a few pages back. I am about to begin phase one of "operation hammer time" which involves me cancelling everything in my name that she is still using at the house "electric,water,cable,internet,and cellphone" I am beyond infuriated that I let her play me like she did,she still talks to the dude more than even before.


should I feel remorse in doing this?
Nope. You are doing the right thing.
 

-PXG-

Member
I've been dating a (my first ever) black girl for a few weeks now (different one than another one I met a month or so ago). I've always like my women white, and thick. But damn, PAWGs cannot even compare to the real thing. Dat ass and dem thighs are fucking dangerous.

Anyway, she's cool as hell and a blast to talk to. We always have a great time when we go out or chill at our respective homes. We're taking things slow until we make things "official". We're exclusive to each other and have no interest in anyone else. She won't have full blown sex until we're a "real" couple, or whatever. We've gone pretty far though, tonight being the most intense. Never thought I could get a girl's pussy that wet ;)

We messed around after eating chicken (haha...very fucking funny) and playing random Wii games (NSMB Wii and Tatsunoko).

Celebrating a good night with my new PC and a big ass rum 'n Coke (with copius amounts of rum, of course).
 

Keikaku

Member
Gotdamn it. Girl who I got friendzoned by on Wednesday agreed to hang out again this Sunday.

I'm going to try my luck this time, no regrets. I can't honestly be friends with some girl who I'm attracted to. (I'm putting it on the pedestal, fuck.) I'd rather fuck shit up, make it awkward, and then explain myself now rather than forcing myself to hang out with her for months on end while pining for her.

Tell me I'm a moron. This is a dumb idea.
I don't think you're a moron. From the way you've described it, if you don't try your luck, it sounds like you'll have some regrets. If you do get shot down or whatever, at least you tried. So fuck it, give it one last go and you'll never have to wonder "What if . . . ?"

I just came back from a nice first date with a woman I met off OKC. I'm fairly sure that she doesn't think too badly of me. We met at an upscale Starbucks here in Seattle, talked for a couple of hours went for a half hour walk afterwards and then she asked me to walk her home. Brief hug at her front door and the usual parting words.

I'm going to be messaging her tomorrow thanking her for the nice evening but I don't know how to word it. I didn't really feel much of a spark and I'm not sure how she felt about me either. Any ideas?
 

jaxword

Member
Trip report: Some of you may remember me grouching about this insane (but hot) girl who was quite blatantly playing attention games. After 2 months of effort, a really successful date as of tonight. Just got home, feel great, and now I'm feeling that familiar creeping feeling I'm already losing interest.

Anyone else ever feel that way? Put so much energy into that one goal, and then when the peak's reached, it's...done.

Maybe some subconscious fear of commitment or something. Or maybe it's just being 22.
 

JambiBum

Member
PXXGGGGGGGGGG :D


So because my town is pretty horrible when it comes to good looking girls (I live in a shit town with no activities or places to go for people in their twenties) I usually stick to online dating. On a good day I'm a fairly good looking guy so I don't have much trouble getting female attention. Except lately I kind of fucked up. I was talking to this girl for a while, we were having crazy long phone conversations and such. One night she asked me to come to her place after work (I get off at 11pm) on a whim and I said yes. Holy fuck was that a mistake. I've ran into girls that look a bit different from their pictures or whatever and it normally doesn't bother me because it isn't a huge difference. This girl on the other hand blew my mind with the difference. She was a giant. Like 6'6 and 200 lbs. I didn't know what the fuck to do. We had good chemistry but I'm just not attracted to her at all. I stayed for a while and eventually left. A couple of days later I told her that I'm not interested but she won't leave it alone. She actually sent a four page letter to my house that laid out all of her feelings and shit. I have no idea what the fuck to do with this girl. I'm kind of freaked out.


Anyway onto some good news. Last night/this morning I got a text from this girl I was pretty good friends with in school. We kind of fell out of touch due to both of us leading different lives but every now and then we would try to catch up. She was drinking with some friends and saw my profile on a dating site and decided to text me. We used to have this thing where we would sing this horrible song about those boots that girls wear with the fuzz all around them. Her text was just the first part of the song. We talked about a bunch of shit until like 8 this morning. Sometimes it's nice not having to do the whole introduction thing and just already feeling comfortable with someone. I'm doing alright for myself after the whole ordeal I posted about some months back so I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. If something ends up happening between us I'll definitely be on board though. It's funny how when you aren't looking for anything something always seems to fall in your lap.
 

Miguel

Member


8mtGQ.jpg
 

Dilly

Banned
Damnit

Third date was great as usual, and it was quite late again. I just need the balls to actually give her a kiss or tell her that I like her or whatever, I really can't wait much longer with that.

I do know that she takes her time with these things and she isn't seeing anyone else or interested in anyone else, but still.
 
Here's a random tip for you all:

Become vegetarians.

It's very manly/womanly (depending on what you want) and will make your sexual bodily fluids taste better - making the prospect of you being on the receiving end of oral sex more likely.

Just stay away from onions. I hear they sour the brew.
 

Keikaku

Member
Sorry for the shameless bump, but I could use some help with this. It's from last night.

I just came back from a nice first date with a woman I met off OKC. I'm fairly sure that she doesn't think too badly of me. We met at an upscale Starbucks here in Seattle, talked for a couple of hours went for a half hour walk afterwards and then she asked me to walk her home. Brief hug at her front door and the usual parting words.

I'm going to be messaging her tomorrow thanking her for the nice evening but I don't know how to word it. I didn't really feel much of a spark and I'm not sure how she felt about me either. Any ideas?
 

Slayer-33

Liverpool-2
Damnit

Third date was great as usual, and it was quite late again. I just need the balls to actually give her a kiss or tell her that I like her or whatever, I really can't wait much longer with that.

I do know that she takes her time with these things and she isn't seeing anyone else or interested in anyone else, but still.

Don't tell her that you like her just kiss away lol.
 

Dilly

Banned
Don't tell her that you like her just kiss away lol.

I know, I just have to go for it.

And I should, the things we talk about now are way different then when she was just a friend I saw at parties. We also always have a great time and all that. It really is the first time I connected with a girl like that.
 
Trip report: Some of you may remember me grouching about this insane (but hot) girl who was quite blatantly playing attention games. After 2 months of effort, a really successful date as of tonight. Just got home, feel great, and now I'm feeling that familiar creeping feeling I'm already losing interest.

Anyone else ever feel that way? Put so much energy into that one goal, and then when the peak's reached, it's...done.

Maybe some subconscious fear of commitment or something. Or maybe it's just being 22.
It's happened to me before, often times after sex and not necessarily dating though.

I'd still suggest you try another date, obviously there's something in her that attracted you enough to put as much effort in as you did, might as well give it one more shot and see if your feelings change at all.

Sorry for the shameless bump, but I could use some help with this. It's from last night.

Just keep it simple, if she has any interest in you she'll respond to whatever you send and hint at wanting to meet up again. You said yourself there wasn't much of a spark, so if she doesn't respond, no big deal. On to the next one.

High-five for being from Seattle though.
 
I am really depressed today. It sucks being alone. I wake up, first thing that pops into my head is my ex. What a great way to start the day. I was doing well, but lately I just want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. I'd rather stay at home than go back to my dorm it's that bad. I can't even sleep. I have to turn on the TV so I can hear other people talking. It blows since my ex isn't feeling like this at all, she already has a new guy. Ahhh my head hurts. Moving into my friend's dorm next semester so thankfully I won't be alone. Just wish I could completely forget about her.
 

equap

Banned
I am really depressed today. It sucks being alone. I wake up, first thing that pops into my head is my ex. What a great way to start the day. I was doing well, but lately I just want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. I'd rather stay at home than go back to my dorm it's that bad. I can't even sleep. I have to turn on the TV so I can hear other people talking. It blows since my ex isn't feeling like this at all, she already has a new guy. Ahhh my head hurts. Moving into my friend's dorm next semester so thankfully I won't be alone. Just wish I could completely forget about her.
well, staying in bed or isolating yourself from the world doesn't help you with moving on and forgetting about her. you need to get off your ass and go outside. go run. go to the gym. focus your energy and thoughts on getting yourself better. or else you're gonna keep feeling sorry for yourself and it will become you!
 

Smithy C

Member
I've never posted in this thread but I do lurk it. Used some advice from here, got a girl's number on Friday and I'm going out for a drink with her later in the week. Not sure if this will amount to anything, but I've never asked a girl for her number either, so I guess the advice totally worked.

Anyway, thanks GAF.
 
So the world of online dating is going a bit better. No one's contacted me since the last girl I was talking to disappeared off the face of the earth after being interested in me, but broadening my search a bit has turned up a few new possibilities at least.

The hard part is always the wait after saying hello to see if they respond back, but it's become clear to me that 1.) I might need some patience because online dating can be real fucking slow at times and 2.) Can't be afraid to travel a bit (an hour or more) because the dating pool around here still seems to be shallow. No, I do not want to be your redneck Romeo or talk about Twilight. >.<
 

Angst

Member
I am really depressed today. It sucks being alone. I wake up, first thing that pops into my head is my ex. What a great way to start the day. I was doing well, but lately I just want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. I'd rather stay at home than go back to my dorm it's that bad. I can't even sleep. I have to turn on the TV so I can hear other people talking. It blows since my ex isn't feeling like this at all, she already has a new guy. Ahhh my head hurts. Moving into my friend's dorm next semester so thankfully I won't be alone. Just wish I could completely forget about her.

well, staying in bed or isolating yourself from the world doesn't help you with moving on and forgetting about her. you need to get off your ass and go outside. go run. go to the gym. focus your energy and thoughts on getting yourself better. or else you're gonna keep feeling sorry for yourself and it will become you!

equap speak the truth. I know it's easy to just end up in a downward spiral of negative thoughts, so the best advice is to be active so your brain doesn't have the energy to feed those negative thoughts.
 
I am really depressed today. It sucks being alone. I wake up, first thing that pops into my head is my ex. What a great way to start the day. I was doing well, but lately I just want to stay in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. I'd rather stay at home than go back to my dorm it's that bad. I can't even sleep. I have to turn on the TV so I can hear other people talking. It blows since my ex isn't feeling like this at all, she already has a new guy. Ahhh my head hurts. Moving into my friend's dorm next semester so thankfully I won't be alone. Just wish I could completely forget about her.
Yep, just like the guys have said, don't let those negative thoughts control your life. Try to focus on positive things.

Start working out more. Actually that's one thing I started doing a lot more of the last time I was dealing with getting over someone and it was probably one of the best things I ever did. Not only does it keep your mind off her, but you're doing something good for yourself, AND it feels great. Total confidence booster as well.

I've never posted in this thread but I do lurk it. Used some advice from here, got a girl's number on Friday and I'm going out for a drink with her later in the week. Not sure if this will amount to anything, but I've never asked a girl for her number either, so I guess the advice totally worked.

Anyway, thanks GAF.
This is awesome. Congrats! Let us know how it goes.
 

Keikaku

Member
No reason to force anything if you didn't feel a spark. Send the kind message but take your foot off the gas in regards to future meetups.
I'm only really asking because I didn't initiate any of this. She contacted me first, suggested the date, etc., etc. I want to let her down nicely is all :)

Just keep it simple, if she has any interest in you she'll respond to whatever you send and hint at wanting to meet up again. You said yourself there wasn't much of a spark, so if she doesn't respond, no big deal. On to the next one.

High-five for being from Seattle though.
Originally from San Jose and boy do I hate the winter weather up here >.>

Does it matter if I text her or is email better? We were texting each other leading up to the date. Fucking dating etiquette is bitch to get right if you start after a long break.
 

Miguel

Member
I need to just start posting some of this stuff on my blog (and hide it until later when i can slip it in without anyone actually ever reading it)... but girl 2 agreed to Rise Against/Flobots concert.

Her reaction was super awesome too...

holy fuck hell yes!!!! lmao i love them both!!!

First date, told her we can go grab a bite to eat before, then head out to the concert. She seemed super excited. Pretty excited myself.
 
Yep, just like the guys have said, don't let those negative thoughts control your life. Try to focus on positive things.

Start working out more. Actually that's one thing I started doing a lot more of the last time I was dealing with getting over someone and it was probably one of the best things I ever did. Not only does it keep your mind off her, but you're doing something good for yourself, AND it feels great. Total confidence booster as well.

YES. Let me tell you, I did this just to lose weight and feel better about myself. I lost 15 pounds and I feel much better. :)
 

jasonng

Member
Sorry for the shameless bump, but I could use some help with this. It's from last night.

Forget her, just play more starcraft. :p

But seriously I wouldn't over think it. I'm not a fan of sending the "I had a great last ____ " text/email because it doesn't really do anything. The few times I've done so did nothing for her. Personally I'll call her to set up the next date. If she says no then you know how the last date went. As for dating etiquette, it helps me a whole lot to stop giving a shit when to email her or should you text her instead. All of that is trivial when the only thing that matters is if you two had a good time or not. If you're not sure if a date went well or not, then just do what you want to do.
 
So, for those of you who have more experience at this online dating thing than I do, I'd like to get your advice. What advice do you have to someone who is just starting out after five years of basically doing nothing? Should I simply wait? Be somewhat aggressive in searching? If someone doesn't respond back to a message, how long do I wait before I simply say "Oh well" and move on? Things like that which I might find helpful.
 
I'm not having trouble getting numbers. My question is 'When I give out my number, why do the girls give me their number in the response message?' Are they too scared to pursue? Not that interested? Want the man to take lead?

a. Girls shouldn't pursue. The guy should.
b. Not that interested, so they give their number out? Serously?
c. Getting kinda obvious now, isn't it but yes, they want YOU to call them.

Here's a random tip for you all:

Become vegetarians.

It's very manly/womanly (depending on what you want) and will make your sexual bodily fluids taste better - making the prospect of you being on the receiving end of oral sex more likely.

That's what I've heard. Less/no meat. More fruits makes your cum taste better.

It's hard though. I fucking love meat.
 

Miguel

Member
If someone doesn't respond back to a message, how long do I wait before I simply say "Oh well" and move on?
Immediately after hitting send message. There's a good chance many won't respond, or even read, unless you're extremely good looking, and if that were the case you probably need more help beating the ladies off you.

As a friend (fellow gaffer) explained to me, spray and pray, no one matters until you get a response, even then, they only matter enough to speak to until you're going on an actual date. Otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts.
 
a. Girls shouldn't pursue. The guy should.
b. Not that interested, so they give their number out? Serously?
c. Getting kinda obvious now, isn't it but yes, they want YOU to call them.



That's what I've heard. Less/no meat. More fruits makes your cum taste better.

It's hard though. I fucking love meat.

Don't worry, I've texted all of them. Just texted another one! Thanks for the push.
 
So maybe this Brent Smith thing isnt working for me (or as he would say change your story lol). I haven't been the one to reach out first so in response to me doing so they don't reach out at all. Its not that im looking for a relationship...im loving the single life. Its just that I haven't gotten laid in months :(
 

Troblin

Member
So, for those of you who have more experience at this online dating thing than I do, I'd like to get your advice. What advice do you have to someone who is just starting out after five years of basically doing nothing? Should I simply wait? Be somewhat aggressive in searching? If someone doesn't respond back to a message, how long do I wait before I simply say "Oh well" and move on? Things like that which I might find helpful.

I'd say I'm average looking, and I've only gotten 4 response from maybe 20 or so messages I've sent. (and 1 was a straight up thanks for messaging me, but I'm not interested.)

Pretty large ego hit.. Lol.
 
I'd say I'm average looking, and I've only gotten 4 response from maybe 20 or so messages I've sent. (and 1 was a straight up thanks for messaging me, but I'm not interested.)

Pretty large ego hit.. Lol.

Immediately after hitting send message. There's a good chance many won't respond, or even read, unless you're extremely good looking, and if that were the case you probably need more help beating the ladies off you.

As a friend (fellow gaffer) explained to me, spray and pray, no one matters until you get a response, even then, they only matter enough to speak to until you're going on an actual date. Otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts.

Hah, sounds like how I got my first job, Miguel. So just sounds like

a.) be somewhat persistent in searching

b.) don't worry if you don't get a response, it happens

c.) women are mostly interested in looks ... mostly; personality shit comes later, even though their profiles say differently :p

Any other advice in particular that's been helpful?
 

equap

Banned
I'd say I'm average looking, and I've only gotten 4 response from maybe 20 or so messages I've sent. (and 1 was a straight up thanks for messaging me, but I'm not interested.)

Pretty large ego hit.. Lol.
you copy and paste? what do you say to have the response to you?
 

Troblin

Member
Hah, sounds like how I got my first job, Miguel. So just sounds like

a.) be somewhat persistent in searching

b.) don't worry if you don't get a response, it happens

c.) women are mostly interested in looks ... mostly; personality shit comes later, even though their profiles say differently :p

Any other advice in particular that's been helpful?

I just started a week ago and I haven't even closed a date off of it yet. I'm pretty much just following the tutorial in the initial post. I think the best advice is probably just approach it with a carefree attitude, and not worry about any rejection, since you'll never see these people again.
 

Troblin

Member
you copy and paste? what do you say to have the response to you?
I'm pretty lazy, so it's usually just a "How's it going?" Maybe an added sentence or two, depending on if i see anything eye catching in the profile or if the person is particularly decent looking...
 
I just started a week ago and I haven't even closed a date off of it yet. I'm pretty much just following the tutorial in the initial post. I think the best advice is probably just approach it with a carefree attitude, and not worry about any rejection, since you'll never see these people again.

That's a good idea.

I usually put a little more effort into my messages than just a copy-paste, though. I try to avoid saying stupid, generic things. I also read their profiles so if anything interests me or catches my eye, I can kind of point that out first.
 

Troblin

Member
That's a good idea.

I usually put a little more effort into my messages than just a copy-paste, though. I try to avoid saying stupid, generic things. I also read their profiles so if anything interests me or catches my eye, I can kind of point that out first.

Yah, let me know how it goes. I'm still trying to learn the whole online dating scene..
 

Miguel

Member
Hah, sounds like how I got my first job, Miguel. So just sounds like

a.) be somewhat persistent in searching

b.) don't worry if you don't get a response, it happens

c.) women are mostly interested in looks ... mostly; personality shit comes later, even though their profiles say differently :p

Any other advice in particular that's been helpful?

That's been my experience with all of this. There are some girls who's looks + hobbies/interests definitely grab my attention more than others, but so long as a girl either has one or the other, I will probably message her. Been backing off a bit since I've gotten a couple (2) bites so far, and possibly a 3rd... but I'll let that one burn a bit slowly.
 
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