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[SRG01]

You wanted to know if asking "is this a date?" was good strategy. We told you it wasn't because it's just an awkward question. But in order to get a girl you don't need to have a DATE tm. Yo get a girl you need to do this in order:

1. Create rapport (be amicable)
2. Create attraction (be assertive through kino {touching her} )
3. Isolate (get her alone)
4. Seal the deal (kiss)

nowhere in that laundry list is actually saying the words "is this a date?", "do you want to be my girlfriend?", "I like you, do you like me?", etc. Those things do not need to be said for they are implied

This is a date as long as you are 1on1 with a girl you like and you are making moves
She is laughing with you, she obviously finds you fun to be with
She is touching you back, she obviously doesn't mind your touch
She is ready to be kissed, you don't need to ask

Basically, don't care if it's a date or not, since you can make it one so

The kiss is entirely optional. It depends on whether or not you two are comfortable with it.

But yes, rapport and physical contact are the two most important things when it comes to dating. You cannot date someone you don't have rapport with, and you cannot date someone who you do not feel physical attraction towards.

 

[BronzeWolf]

yes the kiss is optional. I wouldn't go more than 3 dates without the kiss, though.

 

[VOOK]

Ask her what happened. If it's a fair answer, reschedule.

If it happens again, fuck her and cut her off. No one should stand another person up, friend or otherwise.

Is sleeping in til 3pm a fair answer? Meetup was at 11am.

 

[BronzeWolf]

Is sleeping in til 3pm a fair answer? Meetup was at 11am.

Did she apologize and/or rescheduled or something?

 

[VOOK]

She said she was sorry but then went on a tirade of excuses instead of just saying it and being done. So I don't know how to say to reschedule because frankly, I don't know if I want to waste another day.

I had to get petrol, clean my car etc and cleared a day - and then poof.

 

[BronzeWolf]

She said she was sorry but then went on a tirade of excuses instead of just saying it and being done. So I don't know how to say to reschedule because frankly, I don't know if I want to waste another day.

I had to get petrol, clean my car etc and cleared a day - and then poof.

Don't reschedule, that is totally her responsibility! She is the one that screwed up!

 

[Lard]

Demand recompense, orally.

 

[Xun]

basically yes, comment on what they have on their profile, there's not much else to ask them. I usually like to ask what they did this weekend also, something not on their profile

Yeah, you can comment on something on their profile but when I used online dating sites (haven't for about a year now) and saw someone checked my profile out as well as if I liked the look of their profile I would say something like:



Also request friends with them so you can then see if they are online the next time you go online (if she is keen then I can guarantee she will have accepted your friend request and be online when you said you would).

Thanks for the help guys!

 

[Dr. Feel Good]

Anyone have tips on an easy meal to make for girls that isn't tacos or spaghetti?

 

[Chinner]

toast?

 

[-PXG-]

toast?

With jam? Mmmmmm

 

[Lard]

Grilled cheese!

 

[vitaminwateryum]

Aaaand plans for next friday have been made

 

[Scarecrow]

I'd like some suggestions on some date ideas. I'm pretty horrid at thinking up stuff to do. We had a traditional coffee meet up and things went pretty well. She mentioned she likes kinda 'low key' types of stuff, whatever that means.

Also, reading you guys talking up the whole kino angle: what are some good techniques that don't come off as creepy(which I'm a pro at)?

 

[BronzeWolf]

I'd like some suggestions on some date ideas. I'm pretty horrid at thinking up stuff to do. We had a traditional coffee meet up and things went pretty well. She mentioned she likes kinda 'low key' types of stuff, whatever that means.

Also, reading you guys talking up the whole kino angle: what are some good techniques that don't come off as creepy(which I'm a pro at)?

It seems this girl wants to go around and see the world. Why not grab your cameras and go around downtown taking pictures? It's my tried and true date

Do you know what is kino?

 

[Scarecrow]

It seems this girl wants to go around and see the world. Why not grab your cameras and go around downtown taking pictures? It's my tried and true date

Do you know what is kino?

That's an idea, though I'm not sure she's down with hiking through a city. Especially since we live a little bit away from each other.

Anyone have more date ideas?

 

[soultron]

That's an idea, though I'm not sure she's down with hiking through a city. Especially since we live a little bit away from each other.

Anyone have more date ideas?

Bowling and mini golf are great date ideas. They allow you to be playfully competitive and some touching naturally comes from that. (Just remember not to focus too much on neutral stuff like high fives.)

 

[jet1911]

Here's how my evening went yesterday.

-

My girlfriend broke up with me thursday.

I feel a bit down so one of my friend(girl) invites me with two of her friends(girls) to a club to cheer me up.

On of them is single!

After a couple of drink we start to get dance closer and closer.

We're kissing! :O

At 1 am my friend wasn't feeling good so we went to her home to get some sleep. Me and the single lady slept in the same bed. Without clothes. I guess you can imagine the rest.

Gardez a l'esprit qu"avec mon ex on a été deux ans et demi ensemble pis que c'était ma première blonde. Même la première fille que j'ai embrassé. Juste le fais de savoir que je puisse plaire a une autre femme que mon ex... c'est vraiment nice. ;D

J'pense que ça augure bien.

Keep in mind that my ex was my first girlfriend. I had never even kissed a girl before her. So to feel that I can attract women other than my ex was really nice. I gotta say I got over my way faster than I could ever imagine. I guess that's a good thing. Anyway, it was a really fun night.

 

[BronzeWolf]

Bowling and mini golf are great date ideas. They allow you to be playfully competitive and some touching naturally comes from that. (Just remember not to focus too much on neutral stuff like high fives.)

D:
Hi5's that transform into hand holding are excellent. Just let them linger a little bit and brush her sidearm with your. Voila! Sexual tension

 

[Bleepey]

i knda had my first one-night stand. I use the word kinda cos i got a BJ but she insisted that sex was out of the question. I met this girl on the bus, she kept nudging me as the bus swayed. I made a joke about how she culd just say hello. I got to talking to her throughout her bus journey. i met he friends as we got of the bus, went back to their place and talked to her and her friends for about an hour or so. Her friends fucked off and we started fooling around in her living room. She insisted that sex was out of the question and we were making out and i asked her to go down on me. She was shocked that a guy would ask (!). So she was going down on me and we were both semi naked and after a while one of ehr fiends walks in on her going down on me. Shit was funny as her friend nervously looked at us, apologised and walked out. The girl i was with was upset at how awkward it was for her and her friends were like she had a guy in a simialr situation a few weeks prior which cracked me up. After a while of her sucking me off and me not being able to cum after half an hour (it feels like stealth bragging but fuck it i have had this problem ) we agree to sleep in her room, on her floor but that shit was cold and the cover we were using was shit. So we ended up sleeping in the bed of the two girls (almost certainly gay) and it was me in bed with 3 girls. No matter how much i joked about it i couldn't turn ths situation into a foursome and the fact i had condoms did not seem to matter to any of them. In the morning i had to go to ensure one of her friend's dads didn't see me and we didn't swap number and she admitted she had forgotten my name. I was not complaining.

 

[Scarecrow]

D:
Hi5's that transform into hand holding are excellent. Just let them linger a little bit and brush her sidearm with your. Voila! Sexual tension

I should start writing this down

 

[demon]

i knda had my first one-night stand. I use the word kinda cos i got a BJ but she insisted that sex was out of the question. I met this girl on the bus, she kept nudging me as the bus swayed. I made a joke about how she culd just say hello. I got to talking to her throughout her bus journey. i met he friends as we got of the bus, went back to their place and talked to her and her friends for about an hour or so. Her friends fucked off and we started fooling around in her living room. She insisted that sex was out of the question and we were making out and i asked her to go down on me. She was shocked that a guy would ask (!). So she was going down on me and we were both semi naked and after a while one of ehr fiends walks in on her going down on me. Shit was funny as her friend nervously looked at us, apologised and walked out. The girl i was with was upset at how awkward it was for her and her friends were like she had a guy in a simialr situation a few weeks prior which cracked me up. After a while of her sucking me off and me not being able to cum after half an hour (it feels like stealth bragging but fuck it i have had this problem ) we agree to sleep in her room, on her floor but that shit was cold and the cover we were using was shit. So we ended up sleeping in the bed of the two girls (almost certainly gay) and it was me in bed with 3 girls. No matter how much i joked about it i couldn't turn ths situation into a foursome and the fact i had condoms did not seem to matter to any of them. In the morning i had to go to ensure one of her friend's dads didn't see me and we didn't swap number and she admitted she had forgotten my name. I was not complaining.

god dammit this shit really happens?

 

[Bleepey]

god dammit this shit really happens?

Which part?

 

[BronzeWolf]

I should start writing this down

lol don't sweat it dood. Just try it, see what happens

 

[RoboPlato]

So, a follow up about that girl from the other night. I still don't have her number but one of her friends told me she always goes to the dining hall at 6 so I'm headed there tomorrow with my lesbian friend who tends to be a great wingman. Haha. This is way creepier of a move than I would have liked to make but I really didn't want to try to ask her out over Facebook.

I'm pretty sure this girl is into me but I can't help but be nervous about asking. I've only been with one other girl and that was a long term, serious relationship that evolved out of a friendship, it wasn't a "do you want to go out?" kind of thing. That girl was also a close friend of mine for about six months before we started dating. I was with her for a year and a half before she broke up with me over the summer for a half-retarded, racist, misogynistic douchebag. Ever since then my confidence has been shaken quite a bit when it comes to girls. I took the past six months to reshape myself for the better and recently I've been trying to get back on the saddle when it comes to dating. There are a few girls that I've tried asking out but they've all had boyfriends or had problems with me because I don't drink. There are serious personal reasons that I don't drink, as well as the fact that it's not recommended with the anti-depressants I'm on.

The girl I want to ask out specifically said she respects me for not drinking, made a point of asking if I was single, was really touchy, and kissed me on the cheek out of nowhere so I'm pretty sure I have a good shot but I've never really gone about anything like this before. Plus she is way more attractive than anyone I thought I would ever have a chance with. Any tips? Sorry for the long rant. I think I just needed to let it all out.

TL;DR: Had a serious relationship that ended six months ago and shook my confidence quite a bit when it comes to girls. Need some advice for asking out a really hot girl that seemed into me at a party the other night.

 

[Relix]

Such a fantastic night a day or two ago. Went out with a few friends (male and female). Girl friends invite more of their friends. So we are in this party... with techno music... everyone just having a great time and one of the girls comes up to me and we start chatting. Drinking, dancing, etc. Next thing I know I am having sex with her in the back of my car (this is why I bought an Explorer... you just pull a little switch and all back seats come down giving you a huge space).

Now here's the problem.. I don't want anything with the girl and she's constantly nagging me now. I didn't give her my number though in the furor I added her to FB. Now she's posting in my wall when are we going out etc... I really don't want anything else with her in a serious sense. I am all in for fuck buddies but nothing else... and I have trouble making this clear without looking cruel. Tips? =P

 

[HighAmperage]

I am all in for fuck buddies but nothing else... and I have trouble making this clear without looking cruel. Tips? =P

Honesty. Set up a date, tell her you're only interested in FWB, see how she reacts. I mean there's really no other way to play it if you don't want to date her but still want to fuck her. Is there?

 

[PhoenixSFT]

The girl I want to ask out specifically said she respects me for not drinking, made a point of asking if I was single, was really touchy, and kissed me on the cheek out of nowhere so I'm pretty sure I have a good shot but I've never really gone about anything like this before.

All of this = Great things. Just ask her for her number dude, you can't fail. Come up with a cool date.

 

[cooljeanius]

So the girl I went out with Friday invited me to coffee today, and it turned out it was mostly just because she wanted to tell me she was friendzoning me. It seems like she left the situation open to change in the future though, as her major reason for it was that she just didn't have time for a relationship right now (which, knowing her, I can believe). Also, she cleared up the ambiguity about Friday's date (it was never really supposed to be a date, but she could see why I might have thought it was one). Oh well, at least it's just friendzoning and not a complete end to the relationship, and at least she bothered to tell me this in person...

 

[Solideliquid]

If you feel that you are falling in love with a girl, how long into the relationship do you wait to tell her? Assuming she isn't going to bring it up.

Do you even do it?

 

[Neki]

If you feel that you are falling in love with a girl, how long into the relationship do you wait to tell her? Assuming she isn't going to bring it up.

Do you even do it?

Think the advice is always wait for the girl to bring up the relationship part of a relationship.

 

[TurboLibre]

Think the advice is always wait for the girl to bring up the relationship part of a relationship.

I hate that mentality. It assumes guys are only in it for sex and actually being happy you've found someone you care about is something that should be avoided (or at least, you should admitting). I'm not saying he shouldn't take your advice, sadly, from what I've heard it's true. I still think it's BS.

 

[Neki]

I hate that mentality. It assumes guys are only in it for sex and actually being happy you've found someone you care about is something that should be avoided (or at least, you should admitting). I'm not saying he shouldn't take your advice, sadly, from what I've heard it's true. I still think it's BS.

I think it corresponds to more to early in the relationship/before the relationship phase though rather than throughout the whole entire relationship. I don't have an opinion on it personally though.

 

[TurboLibre]

I think it corresponds to more to early in the relationship/before the relationship phase though rather than throughout the whole entire relationship. I don't have an opinion on it personally though.

I agree that you shouldn't say too much early in the relationship, that can be a serious warning sign and can scare them off. Most people who have given that advice said it as a general rule throughout the relationship though.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

You wanted to know if asking "is this a date?" was good strategy. We told you it wasn't because it's just an awkward question. But in order to get a girl you don't need to have a DATE tm. Yo get a girl you need to do this in order:

1. Create rapport (be amicable)
2. Create attraction (be assertive through kino {touching her} )
3. Isolate (get her alone)
4. Seal the deal (kiss)

Question on this: I've gotten to the kino part often and it turns out the girl is the touchy/feely type and what not, but find out that she has a bf or is married.

Like I don't make it obvious I want her as I build into rapport pretty well. But when I find out this information, to me it means I should be moving on. What I'd like to know is, how do you usually leave that situation on a good note?

Some people say I should just be polite and just quickly move on to someone else and not even bother with them again because "i'm after girls not friends."

Others tell me it might still be a good thing to pursue a friendship later on because she might have single girlfriends and what not.

 

[Kinitari]

Just wanted to share with gaf my feel good weekend. I'm on my phone so i'll keep it short.

I took out two of my friends to a club, I've been working on improving their self esteem and comfort with women, so I figure this would do the trick. Just to preface, I'm not good with women myself, I've never had good self esteem, and I'm in a long term relationship where I remain completely faithful (the miss knew where I was).

I have never had women throw themselves at me before that night. Holy crap, so many young pretty girls came up to me and struck up conversions, complimented me, danced with me, one in particular even pulled me aside and handed me her phone. Drunk fool that I was, I had very little idea what was happening. I'm pretty sure I even insulted a girl when I turned away from her mid dance because another girl was trying to dance with me.

Guys, I dont know about my friends, but I'm feeling fucking fantastic about myself right now, goddamn.

 

[aktham]

If you feel that you are falling in love with a girl, how long into the relationship do you wait to tell her? Assuming she isn't going to bring it up.

Do you even do it?

Let the girl be the girl in the relationship. Saying "I love you" is a girl thing to do. Only say it back if you feel that way about her. If she never says it to you, then she doesn't have those feelings for you, so don't embarrass yourself and come off as desperate by saying first.

Once you become a couple, then it's OK to say it once in a while.

 

[BronzeWolf]

Question on this: I've gotten to the kino part often and it turns out the girl is the touchy/feely type and what not, but find out that she has a bf or is married.

Like I don't make it obvious I want her as I build into rapport pretty well. But when I find out this information, to me it means I should be moving on. What I'd like to know is, how do you usually leave that situation on a good note?

Some people say I should just be polite and just quickly move on to someone else and not even bother with them again because "i'm after girls not friends."

Others tell me it might still be a good thing to pursue a friendship later on because she might have single girlfriends and what not.

I am on the "get as many friends as you can" camp. It can never hurt to know another girl that might have a single friend or cousin or whatever

If you feel that you are falling in love with a girl, how long into the relationship do you wait to tell her? Assuming she isn't going to bring it up.

Do you even do it?

Don't do it. Let the girl bring it out

 

[JumpJeff84]

Got a girl coming over tonight. Fifth date. I can tell she likes me, and we started kissing on the second date.

For some reason though, shit hasn't progressed any farther than that. Don't know why- I usually don't have this problem. it's driving me crazy over here....

Tonight I'm gonna have her at my place for the first time. Think I'm gonna mke a once-and-for-all huge move on her, see what happens. I'm gettin' bored of being perpetually stuck on first base. Got a reputation to uphold here.....

 

[Solideliquid]

Thanks for the advice GAF. On a related matter, how many of you have asked a girl you liked to be your girlfriend? It seems a little childish to me (Im in my 30's) and I've been dating this girl a month and we are already exclusive so...

My friend thinks I should tell her I "want her to be my girlfriend"...

 

[Bleepey]

Thanks for the advice GAF. On a related matter, how many of you have asked a girl you liked to be your girlfriend? It seems a little childish to me (Im in my 30's) and I've been dating this girl a month and we are already exclusive so...

My friend thinks I should tell her I "want her to be my girlfriend"...

A girl i had just slept with asked me said she wished for me to be her bf. We'd been talking to each other for a while prior and she said she wanted us to be a couple. I kinda wish i did things a little differently with her.

 

[DualShadow]

Thanks for the advice GAF. On a related matter, how many of you have asked a girl you liked to be your girlfriend? It seems a little childish to me (Im in my 30's) and I've been dating this girl a month and we are already exclusive so...

My friend thinks I should tell her I "want her to be my girlfriend"...

Honestly sounds like she already is your girlfriend just without the "tag". If your big on defining things then you might wanna ask but personally if things are going well I would just keep going with the flow.

 

[jamesinclair]

Thanks for the advice GAF. On a related matter, how many of you have asked a girl you liked to be your girlfriend? It seems a little childish to me (Im in my 30's) and I've been dating this girl a month and we are already exclusive so...

My friend thinks I should tell her I "want her to be my girlfriend"...

Nah man, you have to be cool about it.

"Baby, will you be my steady?"

And done.

Just make sure you have the dating papers nearby so you can sign the contract immediately.

 

[Mike Works]

Thanks for the advice GAF. On a related matter, how many of you have asked a girl you liked to be your girlfriend? It seems a little childish to me (Im in my 30's) and I've been dating this girl a month and we are already exclusive so...

My friend thinks I should tell her I "want her to be my girlfriend"...

Definitely not.

 

[aktham]

Thanks for the advice GAF. On a related matter, how many of you have asked a girl you liked to be your girlfriend? It seems a little childish to me (Im in my 30's) and I've been dating this girl a month and we are already exclusive so...

My friend thinks I should tell her I "want her to be my girlfriend"...

That's your call there. You're the one with her, so you know her best. With some girls it's automatic. Some girls will ask you "what are we?/where is this going?". You could take initiative and say something smooth like

"(her name), I've been really enjoyed being with you for the past month,

(Insert sweet talk here, based on your dates/experiences)

I like you, and I think we should take our relationship to the next level"

If she agrees, hug and french kiss. You have a girlfriend.

If she doesn't agree, play it off, and say she would be a great friend. On to the next one.

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

Dear holy council of girl-age:

This weekend a friend and I, after a good movie/cuddle session, decided to start dating. We were on a road trip with some friends so we spent the entire weekend together, and now that we're back at school I'm not sure exactly how much pressure to apply to the gas. One of the reasons I'm attracted to her is because she's more calm and in control of herself than any other girl I've dated--my last two girlfriends and I went way too fast. At the same time, obviously, I want to make sure she knows I'm still interested and I want to know if she is. Furthermore, though, I'm just busy as shit.

Suggestions, GAF? It looks like I'm just going to have to wait for the weekend.

Just make sure you have the dating papers nearby so you can sign the contract immediately.

The Facebook, you mean.

 

[soultron]

solideliquid, do you know explicitly that you're exclusive with this girl? If so, then I'd say you're already locked in a relationship with her.

If you've not had any concrete talks on the subject, just keep on doing the same thing you've been doing. In my experience, she will bring it up sooner or later, so you just have to see if your expectations of things line up with hers when she does decide to bring it up.

 

[Mike Works]

Dear holy council of girl-age:

This weekend a friend and I, after a good movie/cuddle session, decided to start dating. We were on a road trip with some friends so we spent the entire weekend together, and now that we're back at school I'm not sure exactly how much pressure to apply to the gas. One of the reasons I'm attracted to her is because she's more calm and in control of herself than any other girl I've dated--my last two girlfriends and I went way too fast. At the same time, obviously, I want to make sure she knows I'm still interested and I want to know if she is. Furthermore, though, I'm just busy as shit.

Suggestions, GAF? It looks like I'm just going to have to wait for the weekend.

You decided to start dating after cuddling?

Did you at least kiss her?

 

[jamesinclair]

The Facebook, you mean.

No, not unless the dating contract stipulates that the relationship must always be publicly visible on facebook.

Always make sure you have a clause in there banning "it's complicated"

 

[Qwerty710710]

I'm really struggling at these dating sites I send a shitload of messages and try to flirt with these women and I get diddly squat. Maybe I'll get a message about once every 3 or 4 months. I want that to change maybe it's my profile this what I put.

"Hi my name is........ I could come of as a pretty laid back person who is willing to try everything and learn new things everyday. I love to spend time with family and friends they really mean a lot to me. Without them I don't where I would be right now I'm very grateful for them. I like to play sports especially football, watching movies, working out, and traveling to other places whether it's near by or out of state.I realize there is no such thing as a prefect match because nobody is perfect we each have our own faults. But if you're kind, with very good sense of humor, who is open minded, wants to have a good time and act like a goofball at times, and is willing to work together to build healthy relationship. I would be deeply satisfied."

I'm just curious if that is the problem.Maybe it's too lame.