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[Stouffers]

Your meatus has the elasticity to stretch around a standard Sharpie marker, but not the large Sharpie. DO NOT ATTEMPT a large Sharpie.

 

[Greedings]

"Oh that's easy, we can simply do X"

Always means it's complicated and takes a long time.

 

[Thing on a Spring]

Scrambled eggs don't need milk. A knob of butter along with salt and pepper is all you need. If you're feeling particularly fruity, a small pinch of garlic salt but THAT'S IT!

 

[Elektro Demon]

Bang whores instead of getting married. You pay you get what you want and you then leave. You can't leave if you're married.

 

[niilokin]

-boil water in an eletric water boiler/tea kettle and pour it on a bowl of oats for fast and good oatmeal
-mix natural peanut butter with honey and put that shit on a toast or in your oatmeal
-grab em by the pussy

 

[Nester99]

Sleep on it.
Don’t let the emotions of the moment guide you.

 

[hariseldon]

Wipe with wet toilet paper if you want to get all the poop off your butthole

Better pro-tip: Invest in an arse hose (aka handheld bidet). Also very handy when people panic-buy shitrag.

 

[hariseldon]

I'm no baker, but not long ago I started buying parchment paper when I make stuff in the oven.

Wow. Never knew. Nothing sticks. All this time I had been using aluminum foil which has everything stick to it. What a waste.

Costco has this giant double pack which should last forever if someone doesn't bake a lot.

Funny thing is I just recently started doing this too - the wife has been amazed at how much better it is.

 

[niilokin]

Better pro-tip: Invest in an arse hose (aka handheld bidet). Also very handy when people panic-buy shitrag.

this. my ass refuses to shit anywhere this isn't available.

 

[teezzy]

* look into yourself and find out what the things are you really love and make you happy, not what other people want you to love.

 

[kunonabi]

If you're a fan of berry smoothies try adding some blue powerade to the mix.

 

[Nixonomics]

When you make meatloaf use Heinz 57 for the glaze instead of ketchup.

 

[kunonabi]

Scrambled eggs don't need milk. A knob of butter along with salt and pepper is all you need. If you're feeling particularly fruity, a small pinch of garlic salt but THAT'S IT!

Milk? WTF? Who does that?

 

[Gp1]

Use cash. It will make you spend less.

 

[jufonuk]

Wipe with wet toilet paper if you want to get all the poop off your butthole

use toiler wipes the flushable kind... a clean fresh anus

 

[Thing on a Spring]

Milk? WTF? Who does that?

Wrong people. It's more common than you would believe.

 

[haxan7]

Sorry for turning this into a poop thread

 

[haxan7]

Wrong people. It's more common than you would believe.

I always put milk in my scrambled eggs

butter is for fatties

 

[jufonuk]

Scrambled eggs don't need milk. A knob of butter along with salt and pepper is all you need. If you're feeling particularly fruity, a small pinch of garlic salt but THAT'S IT!

sometimes cinnamon added to the eggs works wonders

teezzy don't be triggered, try it just a pinch. give it a go.

 

[teezzy]

The basic idea is that you wanna get some sort of fat into the eggs. I use heavy whipping cream, never fully blend in the bowl, and always let it cook a little prior to scrambling and make big folds and flops with a spatula for maximum fluff.

Or just do what this bloke says...

 

[Thing on a Spring]

I always put milk in my scrambled eggs

butter is for fatties

I'm afraid, from this moment on, you're dead to me.

 

[DogofWar]

Add a bit of honey and vinegar to any (warm) sauce you make.

Ctrl + T opens a new tab, but people on here should definitely know this.

 

[synchronicity]

If you follow the same routine everyday you die a little inside everyday.

Yes, life is lived in action, in dynamic response as the personal heart moves in flow with the rhythms of the universal heart. If you are stagnant, following a rigid structure, you have tuned out your own heart and you are already dead. Life can only be lived when the heart risks what really moves it. Biological life is *not* living. The mind seeks to survive, but only the heart knows how to LIVE.

 

[Tranquil]

Yes, life is lived in action, in dynamic response as the personal heart moves in flow with the rhythms of the universal heart. If you are stagnant, following a rigid structure, you have tuned out your own heart and you are already dead. Life can only be lived when the heart risks what really moves it. Biological life is *not* living. The mind seeks to survive, but only the heart knows how to LIVE.

huh?

 

[synchronicity]

huh?

If it doesn't resonate with you, it may not apply.

 

[Tranquil]

The basic idea is that you wanna get some sort of fat into the eggs. I use heavy whipping cream, never fully blend in the bowl, and always let it cook a little prior to scrambling and make big folds and flops with a spatula for maximum fluff.

Or just do what this bloke says...

I do them low and slow with lots of butter.

 

[Tranquil]

If it doesn't resonate with you, it may not apply.

Gotcha

 

[poodaddy]

Never trust anything that says it has a "daily serving" of some micronutrient in it. Daily micronutrient recommendations are just absolute minimums for tiny weak people, if you intend to be healthy, then you should probably take in more nutrients than the bare minimum.

 

[DESTROYA]

sometimes cinnamon added to the eggs works wonders

teezzy don't be triggered, try it just a pinch. give it a go.

What kind of monster are you ?

 

[jufonuk]

What kind of monster are you ?

cinnamon eggs - Google Search

www.google.com

someone make a thread on this, DESTROYA the day I told you about Cinnamon in scrambled eggs your world changed, you cannot fathom who would do this? your neighbour? , look at everyone strangely. you are not the same now, but for me it's Tuesday.

 

[Tranquil]

I happen to have cinnamon in my pantry.

May try that.

 

[DESTROYA]

cinnamon eggs - Google Search

www.google.com

someone make a thread on this, DESTROYA the day I told you about Cinnamon in scrambled eggs your world changed, you cannot fathom who would do this? your neighbour? , look at everyone strangely. you are not the same now, but for me it's Tuesday.

I hate cinnamon in almost everything but gum, unless you want to see me projectile vomit I would never consider it.

 

[jufonuk]

I hate cinnamon in almost everything but gum, unless you want to see me projectile vomit I would never consider it.

that's understandable.
I happen to love cinnamon and like it in many things

 

[Elcid]

When you're done peeing, do a tough nudge under your scrotum to push out the last drop of pee, and do a good squeeze on the tip. You won't get any drops in your underwear after.

 

[UnravelKatharsis]

When you're done peeing, do a tough nudge under your scrotum to push out the last drop of pee, and do a good squeeze on the tip. You won't get any drops in your underwear after.

I don't get any drops now

 

[RaZoR No1]

Today is tomorrow's yesterday.


Do not let dishes and trash pile up!
Always throw it in a bin and if the bin is full, throw it out.

 

[Ememee]

It’s more productive to be sympathetic than empathetic.

 

[Tranquil]

Why are a lot of the 'pro tips' motivation quotes?

 

[Rival]

There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

 

[Elcid]

I don't get any drops now

You're welcome.

 

[highrider]

Don't piss into the wind.

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape..

 

[synchronicity]

You can't leave if you're married.

says who?

 

[Torrent of Pork]

Put a thin coat of yellow mustard on whatever meat you intend to smoke, then add your dry rub. Cover and refrigerate overnight. The vinegar in the mustard will mix with the rub, then penetrate into the meat. You won't taste the mustard after it comes out of the smoker, even with a sweet rub.

 

[GardenOfAbbylon]

Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk.

 

[Pallas]

Pro tip: Pineapple is godly on Pizza.

 

[Tranquil]

Pro tip: Pineapple is godly on Pizza.

Even when I remove all the pineapple bits from my slice, I can still taste the juice.

It is the worst.

 

[slugbahr]

Learn to wipe with either hand.

 

[Northeastmonk]

Enable two factor authentication on your accounts and get to know the technology you own. Even the boring stuff that you neglect.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Don’t worry about being on the “same page” as everyone.

 

[John Mullins]

Run your breakfast bowl and spoon under cold water before dishing up your cereal.