Good Lord, Kelly Osbourne is ugly

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Hi. My name is Kelly Osbourne. Not only was a beat senseless with the ugly stick, but I also regularly use it as a sex toy.
 
Lindsay Lohan...she (had) big titties. Angolina Jolie...she got big titties, Kelly Osbourne...looks like a pig, but she got big titties.
 
Yeah, she certainly looks as though she fell from the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Hmmm, maybe Ozzy's little mishap on his quad in '03 wasn't really an accident; maybe he was trying to off himself for having spawned such a hideous munter.
 
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