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[WarPig]

My boy Peer at IGN pointed this out to me today, it's pretty funny. In anticipation of the critical strafings they're receiving, the guys at Topheavy Studios put up a little section on the Guy Game webpage to take shots at reviewers. First up is none other than ex-1UP reviews editor Nich Maragos...

http://www.theguygame.com/mid-dim-bulb.htm

"He didn't like our game. We weren't exactly surprised. He does, however, have Barbie's Horse Adventure ™ in his personal game collection. Maybe if our game contained fashion plate accessorizing and rescuing lost horses, he would have been more into it!"

See, I look at it this way. Nich is secure enough in his sexuality and gender identity to own a copy of Barbie Horse Adventure and announce this fact to the world. Jeff Spangenberg and company, by comparison, made a game about nothing but breasts, paid a whole bunch of girls to flash their breasts at them in the process of making the game, and then promoted the game by hollering to the world "LOOKY US! OUR GAME HAS NAKED BREASTS! LOOK! BREASTS!"

They also, incidentally, use their game to mock and humiliate nearly every female presented therein.

Hiding something? Compensating for something? Who can say?

DFS.

 

[Wario64]

Did they actually expect good reviews? :|

 

[xsarien]

Staying true to the Internet's form, it seems that their rebuttals consist of making fun of what reviewers look like in lieu of an actual discussion as to how someone above the age of 14 can maybe find their game trash.

God, I'm glad this guy isn't running Retro anymore, it's clear he has no idea what the hell he's doing, and just furthers my theory that "anyone" can be a game developer, but it takes actual talent to make a good game.

The next crash can't come soon enough, there's too much garbage flooding stores.

 

[WarPig]

Staying true to the Internet's form, it seems that their rebuttals consist of making fun of what reviewers look like in lieu of an actual discussion as to how someone above the age of 14 can maybe find their game trash.

God, I'm glad this guy isn't running Retro anymore, it's clear he has no idea what the hell he's doing, and just furthers my theory that "anyone" can be a game developer, but it takes actual talent to make a good game.

The next crash can't come soon enough, there's too much garbage flooding stores.

LOL UR GAY

DFS.

 

[TheGreenGiant]

God, I'm glad this guy isn't running Retro anymore, it's QUOTE]

of metroid fame?

 

[xsarien]

LOL UR GAY

DFS.

 

[sonycowboy]

Did they actually expect good reviews? :|

I think this game would have gotten much better reviews if ....

They had hot chicks instead of white trash skanks that look like they've been beaten over and over and over again with the ugly stick.

 

[FoneBone]

of metroid fame?

Yes.

 

[explodet]

 

[WarPig]

Yes.

It's worth noting that Nintendo paid him one million dollars to simply get him the fuck out the building.

DFS.

 

[Pimpbaa]

The next crash can't come soon enough, there's too much garbage flooding stores.

No more than any other generation. The bigger issue here is that they dissed Barbie's Horse Adventure! I will not stand for this insult!

 

[enjoy bell woods]

God, I'm glad this guy isn't running Retro anymore, it's QUOTE]

of metroid fame?

Yes.

 

[Saint Cornelius]

It wouldn't have been such a bad game if there was a little more randomization to it

As it is, it's fucking broken as all hell

 

[Mrbob]

HAW HAW HAW HAW.

 

[WarPig]

HAW HAW HAW HAW.

You're missing a HAW, there should be five of them.

DFS.

 

[Deku Tree]

I'm not surprised, but that "Dim Blubs" section of their website still disgusts me.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

God, I'm glad this guy isn't running Retro anymore, it's QUOTE]

of metroid fame?

Yep, both Top Heavy and Retro Studios are here in Austin, TX.

These guys seem kinda out of line with those comments, but what can you do...it sucks that they got person with it. Poor Nich.

 

[WarPig]

Yep, both Top Heavy and Retro Studios are here in Austin, TX.

These guys seem kinda out of line with those comments, but what can you do...it sucks that they got person with it. Poor Nich.

Nich thinks it's funny, actually.

What wanna see are some shots of the no doubt slim, trim, tanned, toned, buffed, cut, chiseled and JAAAAACKED physical specimens who made the game. 'Cuz you KNOW a guy working on The Guy Game would NEVER have trouble getting a date.

DFS.

 

[Greenpanda]

What wanna see are some shots of the no doubt slim, trim, tanned, toned, buffed, cut, chiseled and JAAAAACKED physical specimens who made the game. 'Cuz you KNOW a guy working on The Guy Game would NEVER have trouble getting a date.

me! me!

 

[Semjaza Azazel]

Meh. I saw it on the shelves and it was rented.

 

[ferricide]

even if you are OK with the premise, there's very little doubt that they made something very mediocre out of it and are charging way too much for it.

le puke.

 

[The Faceless Master]

i remember i was asked by my uncle to buy barbie horse adventure for a cousin of mine for psx a few years ago... she didnt like it, she said she thought it was too girly

 

[Soul4ger]

Nich's not at 1UP now? Did he go freelance, too, or is he with a magazine specifically..? What's the deal?

 

[SuperPac]

I just hope they do this with everyone who gives it a bad review, because then heck... then it becomes a symbol of pride to be made fun of by these jackasses. I can't see this game being anything but universally panned.

 

[Sho Nuff]

I just hope they do this with everyone who gives it a bad review, because then heck... then it becomes a symbol of pride to be made fun of by these jackasses. I can't see this game being anything but universally panned.

Gerstmann gave it a 7.5.

I dunno, maybe he hasn't seen any boobies in a while. Aside from his own juicy, floppy man boobies!!!

Disclaimer: I also have man boobies

 

[explodet]

I can't see this game being anything but universally panned.

IGN: 7.7
Gamespot: 7.5

Go figure.

 

[WarPig]

Nich's not at 1UP now? Did he go freelance, too, or is he with a magazine specifically..? What's the deal?

Downsized. It was nothing to do with job performance (if job performance were a factor, they woulda canned me), and he still writes a fair bit for the site on a freelance basis.

DFS.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

IGN: 7.7
Gamespot: 7.5

Go figure.

Thats just sad...

Phantom Brave = The Guy Game

Yay for Gamespot!

 

[BenT]

IGN: 7.7
Gamespot: 7.5

Go figure.

Yeah, I ... I was really surprised and disappointed with those scores.

 

[Soul4ger]

Yeah, I ... I was really surprised and disappointed with those scores.

What's worse, the IGN one really isn't subtle about the content or persuasive about the quality at all. It just talks about boobs, and gives TGG a 7.7.

 

[explodet]

Well maybe they were comparing it to other trivia games on the Xbox.... like, uh, Trivial Pursuit. Which got a 7.0 at IGN and a 4.7 at Gamespot.

Okay, I got nothing.

 

[bishoptl]

Can't wait to see what Team Ninja's website has planned in the event of any negative reviews...

 

[Sho Nuff]

Actually, don't I remember seeing a picture of the ex-Retro Guy on the beach with girls with big boobies back when he was still working on Metroid?

 

[M3wThr33]

I still think the guy on the cover of the game is more annoying than any fat sweaty reviewer they could ever find.

 

[mosaic]

Unless you're under 17 and haven't found a girl willing to let you see her naked, the Guy Game is a disc full of frothing ass.

Here why:

1) The trivia portion is only decent the first time through each episode. No randomization whatsoever. Although on the upside, that does make seeing the boobs easier.

2) As lame as the trivia portion is, you have to predict what the girls will say an f-ton of times in order to remove the logos and mosaic patterns obscuring their tits.

3) Topless drunk women jumping up and down and playing brief beach games gets OLD real fast. You can get the same thing from a Girls Gone Wild DVD, plus see some bush, with less effort and less money. If you're of legal age, which you ought to be if you're getting this game, you have better avenues of seeing bare breasts -- porn DVDs (cheap) or in person (bonus chance of actually getting laid).

4) The price -- $40. That's a load of cash to pay for what's basically a crappy trivia interface and some DivX boob clips. Sweet lord, you can buy a load of DVD porno for that.

It's worth a rental, if you plan on having a few of the boys over, maybe... but again, there's still more mileage to be had from straight up porn.

The irony is that Blockbuster here has it available for rent, but won't rent Girls Gone Wild or the unrated version of Y Tu Mama Tambien.

 

[JackFrost2012]

Man, personal attacks against reviewers who don't like their game? What fucking jackasses. Not that this is a surprise, considering they made The Guy Game.

I look forward to their studio closing with undisguised glee.

 

[Pimpbaa]

getting to see boobs for free on the internet > paying 40 bucks to answer questions before seeing boobies

I certainly don't mind tits in the context of a good game, because it can help spice it up a bit. But this is just lame. This game should not have been allowed to have been released on any system, not because of the breasts, but because it sounds like a horribly bad game. Is there no quality control anymore?

 

[Saint Cornelius]

Man, personal attacks against reviewers who don't like their game? What fucking jackasses. Not that this is a surprise, considering they made The Guy Game.

I look forward to their studio closing with undisguised glee.

Yeah nobody else has ever done that. Come on man.

You don't like the subject matter, fine, but when people lose jobs it's not glee glee happy time. I'm just edgy 'cause my contract runs out Dec. 24 but whatever :/

 

[skip]

please please please please PLEASE let me be next.

 

[JackFrost2012]

You don't like the subject matter, fine, but when people lose jobs it's not glee glee happy time. I'm just edgy 'cause my contract runs out Dec. 24 but whatever :/

No, really, I feel strongly enough about how worthless and offensive this game is that I feel these people don't deserve continued employment, and the sooner they exit the game industry, the better. Yes, I am that much of a vindictive asshole.

I just noticed that they're making fun of Nich's BLOG, not an actual review he wrote, which knocks them down another notch or two on the pettiness ladder. On the plus side, it means I stand a good chance of getting myself on the Dim Bulbs page without having to actually write a full review for a media outlet. YAY!

 

[Dragona Akehi]

+

+ Spangenburg genitalia

=

Hope for the future

 

[Deleted member 284]

Actually, don't I remember seeing a picture of the ex-Retro Guy on the beach with girls with big boobies back when he was still working on Metroid?

Jeff "I love crack whores" Spagenburg himself

 

[Zaptruder]

Yeah nobody else has ever done that. Come on man.

You don't like the subject matter, fine, but when people lose jobs it's not glee glee happy time. I'm just edgy 'cause my contract runs out Dec. 24 but whatever :/

If you were responsible for pushing out SOCIETY CRUSHING CRAP then I'd want you fired/killed too.

 

[border]

The game appears to be a harmless (if poorly made) novelty. Get over it. Some of you really have a flair for melodrama...

 

[Deleted member 284]

The game appears to be a harmless (if poorly made) novelty. Get over it. Some of you really have a flair for melodrama...

Just to let it be known, I am indifferent about the game. I don't hate it, or love it. Jeff, however has been documented to be on the beach and doing white lines when Metroid was in development hell.

 

[JackFrost2012]

Just to let it be known, I am indifferent about the game. I don't hate it, or love it. Jeff, however has been documented to be on the beach and doing white lines when Metroid was in development hell.

Now we know the secret to why Metroid Prime was so good - they fired this guy!

 

[FoneBone]

Wasn't he running a porn site while at Retro, too? I think I remember hearing that...

 

[Justin Bailey]

It's worth noting that Nintendo paid him one million dollars to simply get him the fuck out the building.

DFS.

Praise be to Allah.

 

[ferricide]

you know that when mosiac says something porn-related is bad, it's an appalling disaster.

congratulations, assholes!

 

[BastardSamurai]

I'm curious if they're going to put the OPM reviewer there, since she was a woman, and therefore would not understand the Guy Game, despite Spagenburg himself going out of his way in an interview to comment that women really dig it. OMGHYPOCRISYZ!