It sounds like you're describing a bunch of issues and conflating them into one problem. I can't speak to your specific issues and I 100% believe you're experiencing all of them - although soft locking and players failing to load into sessions - you'd need to be specific about where and when. But I can tell you that we continue to monitor and improve, correct or fix issues as we discover them.
A seemingly extremely simple issue that has been plaguing me and my friends for MONTHS is searching in Expanded, then after the first match it switches back to balanced for everyone else, but it still says Expanded for the host. You have to back out and research for it to change to Expanded again. The amount of friends I know who have stopped playing because they couldn't find games because it keeps switching to balanced is ridiculous. (In Australia there isn't enough players to find a game in Balanced, it will literally give an error saying there's not enough players in matchmaking)