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[Busty]

This went from a totally baffling OP to a fascinating look at Japanese culture and how it can impact on young men.

Interesting stuff!

 

[FINALFANTASYDOG]

If I didn't understand something wrong why didn't you ask your "perfect girl" if she wants to hang out with you outside these bars? And explain her your situation if you like her? Why not being honest? That you want to know who she really is? Isn't that a possibility?

It`s either an act or just a job.

Saying you really like her and would like a real relationship with her she will either be semi-freaked out by if she is amateur or use it to her advantage if she is a pro.

It`s actually kinda how you can tell who is long terms or not, I had one amateur girl ban me because I was coming to the store a lot and asked her to actually go meet out outside the club multiple times. Was literally told by the store clerk when I inquired that I was too clingy

The pros / long termers will take that clingyness and milk you for all you are worth- It`s actually even more emotionally draining to have all these lies spread to you about how they will meet you and trade details etc, but they are all just lies....

 

[mysocksarepink]

edit: wait wat


Nvm

 

[I'm an expert]

If I didn't understand something wrong why didn't you ask your "perfect girl" if she wants to hang out with you outside these bars? And explain her your situation if you like her? Why not being honest? That you want to know who she really is? Isn't that a possibility?

This is a totally separate discussion worthy of its own thread honestly. The simple answer is that's not how it works, or, in a sense that's how it's supposed to work to hook the customer and ensure more cash spent. But what you're suggesting isn't the point of this world, although of course it does happen, just with various consequences. If one of the hostesses genuinely wanted to be with FFDog in a non-professional, private relationship, she technically could, yes. But, it's most likely not going to happen with an FFDog in his current state.

It would make more sense for him to meet women like this, who are his type, outside of their work from the start and build an actual relationship from there. But apparently he's too 'shy' in real life, even though he can talk to random women in a smokey, loud club with strangers all around him. Shrug.

 

[hey_monkey]

Therapy. You said yourself you have past issues, and if your replies in this thread are at all close to the truth, my very non expert opinion is that you have some things to deal with that are driving this. You can find therapists who will Skype these days, too, which can help make it easier, particularly if you're shy.

 

[down 2 orth]

Ah financial centers, lovely places indeed.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

Louis Theroux did a great documentary about a brothel. It had a part with a situation similar to this here in the US. It was fascinating because, as an outsider, I could see that the woman was feigning interest very openly and the customer was oblivious.

 

[345triangle]

This thread has wound down but want to reply to this point:

No, that was not for the addiction that was seriously my wallet/bag was stolen. Even for the one person that lent me $12 that said I don't need to pay it back, I paid it back...

I have enough self-control in this situation not to go beyond my absolute limits(obviously stuff getting stolen is not factored in). I just don't do fun stuff anymore because they cost money and they get less pleasure from the other place.

kind of interested how your rent is 40,000 in tokyo!

 

[FINALFANTASYDOG]

kind of interested how your rent is 40,000 in tokyo!

Edit: oh actually when I made that post I was living in different share house in tokyo sharing a room with someone which is what made it cost 40,000.

 

[BibiMaghoo]

You need to stop paying people for company, as others have said. Only dealing with actual real people who are not being paid will you find what you are looking for.

 

[345triangle]

Edit: oh actually when I made that post I was living in different share house in tokyo sharing a room with someone which is what made it cost 40,000.

aha, that makes more sense. lowest i've ever paid here was 60,000 in the ghetto of osaka and that place wasn't much bigger than my futon (though it was quite shiny and new)

 

[n64coder]

As others mentioned, you really should go see a therapist. Also, just stop going to these clubs. Quit cold turkey.

 

[jmdajr]

Humans by nature...are addicted to things. We love the reward sensors going off.

Best thing to do is to be addicted to things that are far less harmful/detrimental to you.

Perhaps work on finding some new hobbies. And diversify the hobbies too. Change your environment.

 

[riotous]

Being honest with someone in your life can help all kinds of addictions; share that dark secret with someone you trust. Accountability goes a long way and we all need help sometimes.

Especially when it's not an addictive drug we are talking about.

 

[Stasis]

1. Absolutely 100% want to stop your addiction. As in, you need to be at the point where you are "fuck it, I'm done." You'll know exactly when this happens.
2. Stop cold turkey.

Cigarettes I quit mid-pack. I was wasting money, health, for no reason and I was just done. Tossed the pack and that was the end of that.

Nasal spray is a bitch, basically when you stop using it, your nose fills up and you can't breathe for two weeks, since that is the reason you start using it in the first place. In my case, I have very severe dust allergies in combination with severe hayfever, and as a result my nose is never clear. Ever. I literally have a stuffed nose 24/7 all year long. Unless I use over-the-counter xylometazoline nasal spray, which gives me a couple of hours of blissful breathing. Thing is, if you use that stuff for longer than a week you become used to it, and you require a bigger dose to clear your nose, and more, and more, until several years later you're using so much of it that it's actually as expensive as smoking a pack of cigs every other day

I agree with the cigarette quitting. You know when you're done. I quit the exact same way, mid-pack cold turkey. Went from a pack a day and smoking in every possible social situation, driving to/from work, breaks etc. to nothing. Worked out really well.

And that nasal spray addiction is really interesting. I'd heard of it but never knew the details.

Good luck OP. While I don't personally relate, I can understand why it could be addictive. Maybe hang out with that Expert guy. Seems he knows these girls outside of the club. Could be your ticket to dating one for real! =)

 

[apocalidiot]

I sent you a PM, OP

 

[xxracerxx]

You answered it for me....

Go see a therapist.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

This went from a totally baffling OP to a fascinating look at Japanese culture and how it can impact on young men.

Interesting stuff!

Seriously, this stuff is fascinating. Outside of some Vice specials and Yakuza games I don't know too much about the hostess thing. Anyone know of any good docs on the subject/culture?

 

[cpp_is_king]

His advice isn't accurate- aka enjoy it till I"m broke doesn't work I"ve become broke one over this, and using $3000 in 3 days is not what to do . but his facts about the scene ring true. The people in the industry are blood thirsty for money and prey on emotionally weak people.

I've literally had a Truman show type experiences where a new girl they introduced to me at the club that seemed to be my perfect dream girl in every way(Same university, same interests etc etc) was just a girl they had set up based on all the other information they had received from other girls I talked to and she must have done some studying into those interests. She of course claimed to be new to the industry and

After many many many hours the lies started to unfold and it become clear she had been set up.

It seems like an insane amount of work and thing for them to do, but when you are a known customer that they can pull thousands of dollars from they will do it.

Can you leave Japan?

 

[-Stranger-]

Sorry to bump an old thread (can't make threads)

I'm pretty sure i have a gambling problem, to mainly racing and sports betting.
Sick of wasting money on this shit

 

[Tony Iron Man Stark]

Bump too, but I'm getting close to handling my addiction: Watching professional League of Legends and Dota 2 streams on Twitch or Youtube.

I never played League of Legends or Dota 2 at all, but I liked seeing professional gamers compete. I had this habit since 4 years ago, since halfway of Season 2. I watched many games, usually the snowballing ones from NA, EU, China, and Korea. Watching games over and over took up a lot of time. For example, games start from 12pm to 5pm on NA LCS Spring and Summer Split. I don't have anyone to talk to about those game, but I kept watching LoL or Dota 2 games.

Hopefully, I won't open another stream of an online game. I won't watch International 2016 and beyond, and I won't watch LoL World Championship 2016 and beyond.